The Parataxic Distortion Response

(This blog was originally posted on March 4, 2014)

 

 

 

                Imagine that you are having a conversation with your partner or spouse about your plans for the weekend. The conversation is relatively banal until the other person casually mentions that you still haven’t replied to the neighbor’s invitation to their party on Saturday. “Are we going or not?”

Bam! It’s like someone flipped a switch in you. Just like that, the joking mood and light-hearted banter evaporate in the heat of your sudden, apparently inexplicable rage: “Why are you asking me? You sound just like my mother. Why can’t you ever make a decision about what to do?”

Or, you are watching a movie in happy, relaxed silence when your companion starts whispering (loud) comments about the film in your ear. Another person in the audience glares at you and hisses, “Sshhh!” even though you haven’t said a word. You are furious that you have been blamed for the disturbance—especially because this incident is so like that time you were punished for talking during silent-reading period at school (twenty years ago), and you didn’t say anything then, either. Your companion, who is indifferent to the other movie-goer’s annoyance and oblivious to the memory it has triggered in you, is hurt and confused because you barely speak to him the rest of the night. Didn’t you like the movie?

                These are examples of the parataxic response: a reaction to a subconscious memory that is totally unrelated to the person or incident that you are responding to. Anything from the tone of voice in which a question was asked, a facial expression or the specific words that another person used could trigger this reaction. The power of this emotional response are likely to take the person responding this way by surprise, not to mention the unintended target(s) of this reaction.  

 

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014

Energy Exchange

 

 

Photo courtesy of Microsoft 

You have the power to change (raise or lower) the energy in a situation
so you feel more relaxed and comfortable. 

                Perhaps you have heard or even used one of these expressions: “He has great energy”; “You give off a good vibe”; “there is a charge in the air when you’re around”; “she rubs me the wrong way”; “I have a very bad feeling about this”; or, “I feel very comfortable when I am around you.” These are just a few examples of how people experience emotional energy in their environment.

                I am not talking about energy in the context of lightning or electricity as depicted in the photo that accompanies this blog. Rather, “energy” in this context refers to that primal and subconscious reaction to another person or a situation. This reaction may be one of attraction or repulsion; it may change (positively or negatively) over time. Whenever energy is very big and not controlled, even positive energy can overwhelm, confuse and frustrate you. Low energy can make you feel depressed, anxious and suffocated. The great thing about energy in either context is that you have the power to change (raise or lower) it so you feel more relaxed and comfortable. Here are a few easy techniques to help you do this.

·         Square breathe. Draw a deep breath through your nose and hold it for the count of 4, 3, 2, 1…and release the breath slowly through the mouth. Continue breathing like this to/until you feel centered (relaxed, patient, focused and confident) to deal with the person or situation that is affecting you.

·         Use these seconds that you are drawing and expelling each cleansing breath to think about what you will say or do in response to the emotionally charged person you are dealing with and/or to actually change the energy around you.

·         If you feel overwhelmed (negatively or positively) by the energy around you, hold your right (or left) forearm in front of you and make a quick slicing motion in front of you. (You can also perform this action to each side and behind your body.) I use this technique every time I conclude a Reiki (energy) healing session to ensure that I separate from the other person or animal’s energy, when we are done. You should immediately notice a sensation of release and greater relaxation once you have literally cut off the connection with the intrusive energy.

·         Match your level of activity (tone and cadence of speech, intensity of the same behavior, etc.) and then slowly, gradually start to lower or raise your level of energy. As you change your energy level, the other person(s) will subconsciously start to match your behavior in a similar way to how you consciously matched their behavior to effect this change.

 

 Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy®, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.