How the Law of Attraction Can Work for You!

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 

 

(This blog was originally posted on March 9, 2017)

 

 

 

Photo by Rick Hustead

 

 

“Before you can transform your wallet from poor to rich, you’ve
got to transform your spirit from poor to rich.” – Robert Kiyosaki

As I drove home from my weekly business luncheon with the Network Referral Group, I wondered when I could expect to hear from a marketing executive who had promised to contact me that afternoon. My phone rang less than a minute later; it was the call I had been waiting for. This was not a coincidence.

Less than an hour earlier, I had presented information about the Law of Attraction and how it works, for the other NRG members. The talk went very well and I was still basking in a state of optimism and confidence about how this information would help me and my colleagues attract more clients in the coming week.

Here are some highlights from my presentation which can help you achieve the business, romantic, etc., success you are trying to attract. This information is based on what I learned during a certification course I recently completed about this topic, taught by Joe Tabbanella, C.Ht. at the Hypnosis Motivation Institute.

 

• Visualize the outcome. How will you look/feel/behave with you have achieved your goal? Really get into the imagery about your desired result. Really see yourself experiencing and enjoying it and what it will mean for you. Remember: The subconscious mind does not know the difference between fantasy and reality, so this kind of imagery exercise will reinforce the experience of having what you want to attract, in your subconscious mind.
• Ask yourself: Why do you want “X”? How will actually obtaining this thing or person that you want to attract help you feel just as good as you do right now, in this visualization/imagery exercise about having attained it?
• Give yourself permission to have and enjoy this state of abundance and success. A lot of people reinforce and believe a subconscious mental script they learned at a very young age which discourages or even disparages success. It is important to believe that this old script is just a story you have told yourself, like a fairy tale; it is not written in stone. You can rewrite the ending by choosing to believe your power to create the positive outcome you want and deserve.
• Get yourself (subconscious mind) into a state of having and receiving what you want to attract. A caveat: If you focus more on something you want to avoid vs. what you really do want in your life, you will inadvertently attract the thing you do not want. So be positive and specific where you direct your intention!
• Structural Tension and Psychic Alignment: Structural tension occurs when, using visualization, your subconscious mind gets so into that state of receptivity—truly enjoying the experience of receiving your goal—that your physical body starts working to actualize it in real life. Psychic Alignment refers to the way in which the structural tension attracts this goal: The more you believe it and the more real its attainment is in your subconscious mind, the harder your conscious mind will work to make sure it happens. Once you feel so good, so energized, so excited in your belief that this success will be yours, the question that remains is when, not if, it will happen.
• It may take some time to realize your goal through this process. Sometimes it is fairly quick, such as my example of answering a phone call I had been waiting for right after I thought about the person I wanted to talk to. Other times, it can take days, weeks or even years to come true, with various diversions and setbacks along the way. I have wanted to be a therapist since I was eight years old, but it took almost 30 years, and a seven-year stint in magazine publishing before this happened. The idea of becoming a hypnotherapist never entered my mind until I met a representative from HMI in 204 who invited me to participate in a free, month-long course at the college. The rest, as they say, is history, and I love and am so excited about my vocation as a certified hypnotherapist.

 

 

For more information about this topic, I invite you to read my other blogs titled: The Power of Thinking; Intuition and the Law of Attraction, “Extra” Sensory Perception and the Law of Attraction; and Just What I Need When I Needed It. If you would like to start using principles of the Law of Attraction to in your life, call me at (661) 433-9430 and set up a hypnotherapy appointment today!

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2023

 

How Hypnotherapy Can Alleviate Fear of Failure

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 

(This blog was originally posted on February 22, 2016)

 

Photo by Rick Hustead

 

At some point during our lifetime, we will fail at something. Whether it’s a geometry test in high school, not waking up when the alarm goes off in the morning, a relationship doesn’t blossom the way we hoped, etc., failure of some kind is likely to touch us all. Despite the negative connotations and associations with this term, however, failing at something can actually be one of life’s greatest gifts because it usually presents an opportunity to try something else that suits us better. Dr. John Kappas, the founder of the Hypnosis Motivation Institute, used to advise his hypnotherapy students and clients to think or say “I like it!” even when the situation was unfavorable. Allowing ourselves to see the opportunity in perceived misfortune or inconvenience is a chance to look for and find that alternative path.

However, fear of failure is also a very real phenomenon that affects many, many people to the point of their becoming unwilling or even unable to pursue a goal or complete a task in case something goes wrong. Of course, consciously we know that not taking an action to realize that goal is another and more reliable way to guarantee failing at it. However, the subconscious mind is secretly relieved because this state of immobility is comfortable, familiar and “known.” Hypnotherapy can help you manage and overcome this fear to get back on track to pursue desired goals.

When I work with someone who has a fear of failure, one of the first things I want to do is help the client identify where and how this fear evolved. If the individual does not know or can’t remember its origin, I might suggest that the person will have a venting dream about the incident to analyze in a future hypnotherapy session. I would also desensitize the person to this fear and any stimuli that trigger this anxiety and replace the fear of failure with smiling or laughing, whenever he or she thinks about it.

Another effective strategy is to employ plenty of imagery/visualization exercises to prepare the client to get rid of this fear, and tie a stronger relaxation response to override the fear/anxiety. “You need to double-bind the client by substituting a positive suggestion for negative feelings or fear,” Dr. Kappas advised. For example, tie the client’s fear of success with the image of actually achieving that desired goal. If the person does not have any recent experiences or memories of achievement, I would work with him or her to choose and set small, achievable task to start this process. As the person continues to succeed at these projects, I would reinforce the association between relaxation and increasing confidence with achieving these new and increasingly challenging goals. Ultimately, eventually, the “fear of failure” will be replaced with a new subconscious known: enjoyment of success.

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2023

 

Mourning the Ones We Loved, But Never Knew

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 

(This blog was originally posted on January 14, 2016)

 

When someone dies, it is hard to say goodbye to a person we loved and a relationship we enjoyed. But, how to explain the intense and complicated feelings of loss and sadness when we never personally knew the person who has passed away and the relationship was (and could only ever be) one-sided?

It isn’t just that we continue to feel strong emotions about or bonds to the other person that makes this separation so difficult. Rather, per Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D.’s Theory of Mind, it is difficult to “leave” or let go of a relationship we have outgrown or has ended because we must give up a powerful known in our subconscious mind. Even when this relationship is one-sided, the attachment to the other person can still be very strong because the person represents a powerful part of that subconscious life script. We still invest a lot of emotion, fantasy/hope and expectations in it. Whether the relationship consists of binge-watching a favorite performer’s movies, following the star on a concert tour and trying to meet the individual “in-person”, the emotional attachment is very real. The emotional “high” we experience during those moments of real or virtual contact are also very powerful. Consequently, the longer we have followed this subconscious mental script, the more difficult it is to stop and let go even when the object of our affection or interest has passed away.

For years, people have flooded to Graceland to tour and take pictures of the estate that Elvis Presley, aka the King of Rock and Roll, once called home. There is usually at least one vigil there for him on his birthday, and the Elvis Presley-themed wedding is a popular attraction in Las Vegas. Some of my good friends remember how their mother pulled off the road to cry on the shoulder when Presley’s death was reported on the radio. To this day, they are all devoted fans of his music. I knew someone else who sobbed for three days when John Lennon was murdered in New York City and continued to feel sad about his loss twenty-plus years later.  

After Diana, Princess of Wales was killed in a car crash in Paris in 1997—nearly twenty-six years ago—it seemed like the entire world stopped to catch its breath. Suddenly the woman who had touched so many hearts and imaginations with her seemingly fairy-tale life was just gone, and her admirers felt the loss keenly. I remember standing in Hyde Park and watching the gun carriage bearing her coffin pass, with the sound of weeping all around. I saw at least mounted police officer wiped tears from her eyes, and a couple of people nearby called her name, half-sobbing, half-screaming in their grief. I doubt that many, if any, of the people standing with me to watch the funeral on the Jumbo-Tron screens set up in the park. That didn’t matter. They were mourning her as they might a dear friend. When I stopped by the gates of Kensington Park the following week to drop off a bouquet in the Princess’s memory, the floral arrangements and tributes extended almost to the curb and the overwhelming smell of fresh flowers and rotting foliage filled the air. Radio and television tributes to her seemed to air for weeks, and Elton John’s revised version of Candle in the Wind played on popular-music radio stations at least once an hour for about as long.

In January 2016, Rock ’n Roll icon, David Bowie, passed away after a battle with cancer. Ironically, just a day or two before he passed away I suddenly and inexplicably thought of his starring turn in the 1983 vampire film, The Hunger. Other than his song, Space Oddity, which is one of the most haunting, creepy and even saddest songs I have ever heard, I didn’t know much about him. As social-media outlets were flooded with tributes to the star, I had a chance to check out more of his music. Someone on Facebook shared a video of Bowie performing “Let’s Dance” with Tina Turner, and I wished fervently for a moment that I could have seen this performance in person. That man had a voice (and some impressive dance moves!). I regret sad that I didn’t appreciate his talent more during his lifetime.

Similar to the fans who are missing and mourning Bowie, I imagine my sadness learning about Alan Rickman’s death has more to do with what the actor—especially his roles—symbolized for me during various times during my life. I actually walked right past him in London many years ago. It was Christmastime, and Rickman was carrying several large bags in each hand. I remember he was very tall; by the time I registered who he was, the actor had walked past, his back already to me. I might not even have seen him at all if the person I was with at the time hadn’t elbowed me in the ribs and whispered, “There’s your man.” Looking back on that almost-close-encounter today, gives me goose-bumps. It was thrilling to know I had walked past one of my favorite actors.

Of all the characters Rickman had portrayed during his career, the role of “Jamie” in Truly, Madly, Deeply, affected me the most. It is still one of the only films that can still make me cry even after countless viewings. Watching Rickman teach on-screen love Juliet Stevenson to let go and say goodbye to him (his ghost) was and continues to be a symbolic lesson for me about coping with various kinds of grief and adapting to change. His films will live on, but the idea that the man in front of (and occasionally behind) the camera is no longer around makes me feel strangely adrift. It wasn’t like I personally knew him. I never crushed on him, although I know I am among Rickman’s many fans that could listen to his signature baritone voice with those precise inflections for hours.

It is not unusual to feel sadness and even experience grief following the death of someone who has played a significant role or influenced your life. It is not “wrong” to experience these emotions even if you have had minimal or no direct contact with this individual. Every time you danced to, sung along with or cried over one of Bowie’s songs, the emotional response that triggered this behavior was based on how his music resonated with your subconscious mental script. Your memories of those moments are now like snapshots or movies about what was going on in your life at that moment in time. Similarly, every time I laughed, cried or cringed watching one of Rickman’s movies, I responded according to how the scene represented something familiar (known) in my subconscious life script. I will never be able to watch his films again without feeling the bittersweet emotions attached to my memories about what I was doing, where I was and whom I was with, the first time I saw the movie.

For more information about the stages of grief and processing a significant emotional loss, I invite you to read my blogs titled Moving On, Part 1 and Moving On, Part 2.

 

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2023

 

Powerball

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 

(This blog was originally posted on January 8, 2016)

 

Image courtesy of Microsoft

 

 

On January 8, 2016, the local news reported that the Saturday, January 9, 2016, Powerball Lottery jackpot had reached $800 million. People were shown purchasing lottery tickets from electronic machines and over the counter at their local grocery or liquor stores. Some favored venues where previous (albeit, considerably lower-value) winning tickets had been purchased in the hope that the location would bring some of the same luck to them. Others chose numbers that represented a significant dates in their lives—wedding anniversary, the age of a pet or child, spouse’s birthdate—in the hope and belief that these digits would show up on each of the winning balls. A recent AP report had punters estimating that the grand prize would surpass $1 billion for the next drawing if no one has the right numbers the following night.

When asked what they will/would do if they win the jackpot, many people said they would pay off credit-card debts. Buy a new car. Pay off the mortgage on their home and/or even buy a new house—maybe a gift for a senior parent. Some fantasized about going on a shopping spree, taking a cruise around the world. There were so many options and so much money to be spent…

The thing interesting thing about coming into a lot of money so quickly is how quickly it also disappears. We often hear about that actor or athlete who once commanded a high paycheck, or a lucky Lottery winner, is suddenly broke and in debt. How did that happen? we wonder. Where did all the money go?

How a person earns, spends and saves money has a lot to do with the individual’s subconscious mental script about finances. According to Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D., everyone follows a subconscious mental script that is created very early in our lives. We behave and even think in ways that are consistent with that script even when it does not facilitate achievement of our personal goals. Depending on the subconscious mental script about having and handling money, the future winner (or winners) of this Powerball jackpot may have some challenges when it comes to saving or spending all that cash.

For example, someone who grew up having to scrimp and save every penny may continue to behave as if there he does not have any financial security throughout the rest of his life even when this is no longer the case. It doesn’t matter that when he grew up, he got a good job with health and retirement benefits; maybe he even made some good financial investments and is now able to live quite comfortably on the dividends. He may even be a millionaire by now. However, his subconscious mind only knows how it feels to be “poor” and his lifestyle reflects this belief. Consequently, he still drives the same car he’s owned the past 15 years (and will until it can’t be repaired anymore), wears clothes he’s owned for 30 years, never goes on vacation and rarely treats himself with a meal at a restaurant. After all, who knows where money for the next meal is coming from? He is careful to save every penny he has, because that is what he “learned” while he was growing up. This is what he knows how to do.

Conversely, that person may follow a different mental script that says he should spend every penny that comes his way. He watched his parents earn and spend money. Whether the family possessed a lot of money at one time or just a little, there was usually enough for basic needs. And when there was a little bit extra on-hand, they spent that, too. After all, who knew when that opportunity would come around again? If the individual was consistently exposed to this kind of “feast or famine” attitude about money, he likely learned to assuage his physical or emotional discomfort (e.g., hunger or envy) was to spend cash when he had it. Unfortunately, these spending sprees often lead the person back to the “famine” part of the cycle because, at the end of the day, this state is more comfortable (“known”) to his subconscious mind.

Each scenario poses distinct challenges for the future winner of this Powerball jackpot. Someone who is used to conserving money will likely need to learn how to feel comfortable spending some of it. On the other hand, someone who is used to or even feels compelled to spending money whenever he has it will need to learn how to feel comfortable about choosing not to spend that winning ticket.

On October 23, 2018 another huge Powerball Lottery drawing worth $1.4 billion yielded just one winning ticket in South Carolina. Whether one person or a group of work colleagues get to cash in on that jackpot, even after taxes have been deducted from the final prize, that’s a lot of money to be taking home. I hope the following information helps the winner(s) successfully adjust to this monetary windfall.

 

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2023

  

Forgiveness

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 

(This blog was originally posted on September 15, 2014)

Photo courtesy of Microsoft

 

 

Have you ever got stuck in a blame-game with someone, refusing to accept some responsibility for your role in the situation or to accept the other person’s apology for hurting you? Do you ever hold onto the anger and emotional pain about something that occurred so long ago that you don’t even feel those emotions anymore but keep holding onto them because…you don’t even know why? Would you be willing to let go of all that negative energy if you knew this release would help you feel better, to be at peace and free you from the emotional baggage you have been dragging around?

I recently saw this quote from Inspirationboost.com, and it really resonated with me: “Forgive. Not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace.”

At some point during our lifetime, someone hurts us. This injury may be physical or metaphoric, intentional or accidental, but long after the physical wounds have healed some emotional scars continue to feel raw. To assuage this pain and gain a sense of control over what happened, we may claim that the injury was justified or believe that we somehow brought it on ourselves. Indeed, it can be very difficult to see past this pain when someone you once cared about is hurling verbal and legal barbs your way during an acrimonious divorce or dissolution of a business or social relationship. You may even resent and even guilt/shame for having ever trusted him or her with your heart (and your finances).

The problem with holding onto these negative emotions is that you are the one who continues to suffer emotional pain long after the relationship has ended, and you and the other person have parted ways for good. Whenever you dwell on the negative events that happened during the relationship and the sadness or anger that you felt at the time, you reinforce the strength and the habit of feeling (and feeding) those negative emotions. This continued bombardment of thoughts, memories and negative associations with the past relationship overloads the conscious mind, triggering the fight/flight mechanism and putting you in an even more hyper-suggestible state (hypnosis). Since we are most suggestible to ourselves, every time we repeat a thought or behavior you reinforce its strength and power in your subconscious mind. In other words, you are hypnotizing yourself to perpetuate this unwanted behavior. Ultimately, the most effective way to heal from that hurt is to forgive the person who inflicted it so you can pursue the life that you want and deserve to be living.

       

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2023

 

Exposing a Defense Mechanism

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 

(This blog was previously posted on December 13, 2016)

Photo by Rick Hustead

 

 

According to Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D., even though the behaviors are manifested consciously, defense mechanisms only operate on a subconscious level. These subconscious devices are designed to “protect” a person from the basic concepts, morals or other things that individual has learned and deemed undesirable. An important feature of a defense mechanism is that it interferes with, prevents or inhibits the person from functioning normally.

Types of defense mechanisms include: compensation, conversion, denial, displacement, dissociation, fantasy, negativism, projection, intellectualization/rationalization, reaction formation, repression, sublimation and undoing. Society even rewards some defense mechanisms such as working hard (but sacrificing family time) to have a career.

The most effective way to deal with a defense mechanism is on the subconscious level: i.e., in hypnosis, Dr. Kappas advised. The hypnotherapist must keep in mind that repression will already be in place as it is an essential component for all defense mechanisms to function. Therefore, it is important to work with the client’s subconscious mind to recognize, acknowledge and accept that a defense mechanism exists and is in place. Finally, the hypnotherapist must help the client create and learn a new subconscious mental script to change those old behavioral patterns, he said.

“If you don’t spot a defense mechanism in regular (cognitive) therapy, use corrective therapy to reveal it,” Dr. Kappas advised.

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2023

  

What You Can (and Cannot) Expect from Hypnotherapy

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 

(This blog was originally posted on October 20, 2014)

Photo by Rick Hustead

 

  I would like to clarify a couple of things about hypnosis and my role as a certified hypnotherapist. First, as I explain on my website, hypnosis is a natural, drug-free and highly effective therapeutic modality that has been used for centuries to help people change mental scripts for unwanted beliefs or behaviors that no longer work for them. Whether you want to lose weight, quit smoking, increase your self-confidence, overcome a fear or phobia, or achieve just about any vocational and avocational self-improvement goals, hypnosis can help you get it done.

  My goal is to help each and every one of my hypnotherapy clients to achieve his or her vocational and avocational self-improvement goals. I participate in continuing-education courses throughout the year to fine-tune my therapeutic skills and learn new techniques that I can apply in my practice. Between sessions with my clients, I make myself available to answer any questions or discuss an issue that may have come up during the week via a follow-up phone call, e-mail correspondence or both. I provide a recording of the hypnosis component of their therapy for them to listen to during the week and even give them “homework” assignments to help reinforce the new behavior until their next hypnotherapy session. These assignments may include breathing/relaxation exercises to practice, maintaining their Mental Bank program by writing in their Mental Bank ledger each night before bed, reading specific articles or watching online videos about related hypnotherapeutic techniques that are available via the Hypnosis Motivation Institute online video library.

   I work with my clients to achieve their stated goals; when they have accomplished what they set out to do, we typically part ways until they want to work on something new. I generally do not need to explore unrelated issues or discuss experiences that occurred long ago in my clients’ lives unless they state or believe that event pertains to their presenting issue or affects how they currently lead their lives. Having said that, hypnotherapy is not an overnight miracle “cure” for anything and everything that ails or distresses you. By the time most people come in for hypnotherapy, many months or even years have passed since the unwanted belief or behavior was created. Meanwhile, their subconscious mental script has had plenty of time to nurture and reinforce that unwanted habit. Although hypnotherapy is also generally a shorter-term therapy than many traditional psychotherapeutic modalities, it will likely take more than one hypnosis session to change and/or permanently remove that behavior.

    Finally, California law allows me to provide hypnotherapy as a complementary or alternative treatment to help my clients to achieve vocational and avocational self-improvement goals (Business and Professions Code 2908). For example, I am certified to help people manage pain and individuals who suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder to deal with a myriad of physical and emotional symptoms. However, I may only do so with a referral from a licensed medical doctor or mental-health professional; I must receive a referral from both of these health-care providers to work with a client who has PTSD. I ethically and legally cannot and will not address some issues (e.g., age regression therapy to identify possible past abuse) or diagnose medical or mental-health symptoms. If I feel that your issues are or become beyond my scope of expertise as a hypnotherapist, I will refer you to a licensed medical doctor or psychologist for further evaluation and/or treatment.

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2023

 

The Saddest Thing I Ever Heard

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 

 

(This blog was originally posted on September 6, 2016)

Photo by Rick Hustead

 

In August 2016, a four-year-old-girl was rescued from an abusive home in Hot Springs, Arkansas.¹ When police officers rescued her, she reportedly told them that her name was “Idiot” because that’s what her mother’s boyfriend allegedly called her. Apparently, she was called that so often that she did not even know her real name.

This incident absolutely broke my heart.

According to John Kappas, Ph.D., the subconscious mind works on expectation and imagination. Over time, we learn to expect others to respond to and interact with us in a particular way based on our previous experience with those individuals. Eventually, this treatment becomes part of our subconscious mental script as we also learn to internalize the message or emotion we perceive in those interactions. All of this can and does affect self-confidence and self-esteem, the Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder explained. No matter what the “message” is, the more you hear and repeat it to yourself your subconscious mind starts to believe and even “own” that message. When everyone around you constantly bombards you with so much criticism and negativity, including referring to you as an idiot or some other derogatory slur, it’s no surprise that your self-confidence and self-esteem take a hit. It’s really only a matter of time until you start to believe in the negative hype, and when you are as young and impressionable as this child it takes even less time to create a negative mental script.

Now that this little girl has been found and her alleged abusers—her mother and her mother’s boyfriend—are in custody, she can start to heal from the psychological damage she endured as well as her physical injuries and emaciation. Hopefully the inner resources that helped her endure the negative treatment and messages she received during these early years will also help her to heal, thrive and find happiness, safety, and security throughout the rest of her life.

1.       “Abused 4-Year-Old Child Tells Police Her Name Is ‘Idiot’: Mother, Boyfriend Charged After Abuse Reported” by Anneclaire Stapleton, CNN. http://www.clickorlando.com/news/national/abused-4-yearold-child-tells-police-her-name-is-idiot

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2023

 

The Post-Hypnotic Suggestion

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 

(This blog was originally posted on September 26, 2017)

Photo by Rick Hustead

 

When I work with my hypnotherapy clients, I give a lot of suggestions during the session. Some of those suggestions happen at the very beginning of hypnosis. For example, I will tell a Physical suggestible client: “You are allowing your eyes to close.” Or I might say to the Emotional Suggestible person, “Right about now you are noticing that your eyelids are feeling verrrrrrrry heavy.” The content of the suggestions I use to facilitate the client’s desired behavioral changes will depend on the person’s therapeutic/self-improvement goal and his or her suggestibility. I also include two specific post-hypnotic suggestions during the session.

The first is the post-suggestion to re-hypnosis. This is what enables the client to easily, comfortably re-enter the hypnotic state in future hypnotherapy sessions whenever a specific word/phrase or physical trigger occurs: the words “deep sleep” and me snapping my fingers or touching the client’s forehead. I include the phrase, “Each time deep sleep is suggested to you for the purposes of hypnosis, with your permission and only your permission” to ensure that this state will be induced only in the context of hypnotherapy. When I work with children/teens I make it clear during the cognitive (alert) and hypnosis portions of the session that only the hypnotherapist can induce the hypnotic sleep, not a parent or sibling, etc. Similarly, when I use hypnosis to help a pregnant woman and her birthing partner prepare for childbirth, I include a similar caveat. For example, the client will not be suggestible to doing anything that is not relevant to relaxation and aspects of the birth process.

The second post-hypnotic suggestion I use is called the post-suggestion to reaction. This is a specific suggestion that activates a desired behavior change when the client is no longer in hypnosis and has returned to an alert and aware state. For example, I might suggest to a client to wants to feel more relaxed and confident when speaking in public begins to notice a specific color that represents relaxation and calm everywhere around him, all over the environment. Furthermore, every time the person sees this color, he immediately feels completely confident, relaxed and in control of his response to every situation and can express himself and his ideas easily, comfortably and confidently.

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2023

 

 

Open to Interpretation

I am continuing to suspend in-erson hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

(This blog was originally posted on June 23, 2016)

 

“Effective communication is 20% what you know and 80% how you feel

about what you know.” – Jim Rohn

 

Photo by Rick Hustead

 

The sentiment in the quote above is very similar to a saying that the late hypnotherapist, Alex G. Kappas, Ph.D., used to tell his students when explaining (mis)communication. Here is the quote: “I know you believe you think you understand what I have just said; but I am not sure that what you heard is not what I meant.” Are you confused? Don’t worry about it; the play on words is intentional and meant to illustrate his point: effective communication is equally a matter of expression interpretation. When the message or “point” of that communication is missed or misunderstood, all sorts of chaos can ensue.

For example, in the Game of Thrones: “Battle of the Bastards” episode, a particularly nasty character warned his estranged wife that he would always be a part of her. Like other devoted fans of the show, those words set off a number of alarm bells in my mind. “Could Sansa be pregnant? After everything that horrible man put her through, could she really be carrying Ramsay Bolton’s baby?” I was alternately horrified and sad for her.

Then I took a deep breath and decided not to second-guess the implications of Lord Bolton’s warning. First of all, the plot of GoT is nothing if not a mental chess game. I, for one, have no intention of spending a year wondering about Sansa Stark’s state (with child or not) like I fretted for eight months whether Jon Snow truly died in last year’s season finale. (Spoiler alert: he did not.) I reminded myself that emotional suggestibility makes it more likely to read/interpret a hidden meaning into a statement like that. Author George R.  R. Martin and the skilled filmmakers, scriptwriters and directors who have brought his best-selling books to celluloid life know how to create action and scenarios that seduce readers and viewers, taking us with them into their fantastic worlds.

Conversely, one of the series co-stars (Liam Cunningham, “Davos Seaworth”) reportedly told the Huffington Post that his interpretation of Lord Bolton’s warning was more likely a literal statement of fact than foreshadowing the birth of his heir. Cunningham explained that Bolton wanted Sansa to know that while their time together was fairly short, she would always remember and feel how he tortured her and these memories would continue to torment her. If you have read the books and/or watched their video incarnation on HBO, you know exactly why his words would be true.

Having said that, in keeping with Dr. Alex Kappas’s instruction and the guessing-games and mental gymnastics Game of Thrones subjects (pun intended) its fans to, the true meaning of this statement truly is up for inference and interpretation. And a little (or a lot of) imagination.

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2023