My Dressage Training Regimen

Photo by Rick Hustead

“A fit horse needs a fit rider.”

When my trainer said that to me this summer her words had the effect of a medieval knight of yore dropping the gauntlet to encourage me to step up my dressage training. My gelding, Galahad, has been in full training with her for five years and their hard work really shows. He is much more muscular and flexible than the horse I first sat on in August of 2011. There is more suspension in his trot and canter strides, and when he gets in frame his movement is, well, it feels like flying (to me). So, to be able to comfortably sit those gaits I needed to do some work, too.

My trainer is a former professional ballet dancer, so the first thing she did was develop a more intensive warm-up regimen for me to do before each ride. In addition to Pilates roll-ups and a sequence of hip-opening exercises ballet stretches like demi- and grand pliés, she incorporated a series of side lunges and sprints up and down her (very long and moderately steep) driveway.

Meanwhile, I continue to take at least five yoga classes each week, including classes devoted to deep stretches and restorative/therapeutic yoga for greater flexibility, and Vinyasa flow sessions to practice smooth transitions between various positions. As I explained in my blog titled Me, Dressage and Yoga, these classes are a perfect complement for my riding because the positions emphasize balance, increase strength and teach independent movement of specific areas of the body.

I am also paying close attention to my diet (nutrition) and quantity and quality of sleep, especially before I ride. As I have mentioned in many of my blogs, fluctuations in blood-sugar levels can increase anxiety and frustration levels as well as potential moodiness. To prevent these effects, I make sure to eat a light meal with some form of protein about an hour before I ride. I also avoid caffeine, which can cause a similar response. The last thing I want is the negative physiological effects of a sudden drop or spike in my blood-sugar level to trigger anxiety in me and that spirals into to a fight/flight reaction in Galahad.

The final component of this physical-fitness program entails a lot of training on the lunge-line—bareback, without a bridle or reins and my hands resting on top of my head (helmet)—to work on my balance, improve my seat and perfect my aids (leg and seat). My trainer often likens Galahad to a fine German sports-car in that he has a very powerful engine in the back (his hindquarters) and he has a manual transmission. In other words, my gelding is not a kick-and-go horse; he is very sensitive to every aid, including inhalation and exhalation of breath. So, if I take my legs off him or shift my balance even slightly he will do something I didn’t (intentionally) ask for.

I still have a lot more work to do until I get to ride with a saddle again, but that is actually fine with me. There is something so freeing about this training, and I can feel what Galahad is doing and thinking about doing so much better than when there is a big leather saddle between us. It is also great for bolstering my confidence knowing that I can ask my horse to move forward, backward, halt and transition between gaits completely “hands-free.” Finally, these past few months I have learned how to trust myself to ride my horse with such subtle aids. More important, I realized that I can and do trust him when we work together. Every ride, I am re-writing and creating a new subconscious mental script about riding and, specifically, riding this (my) horse.

There is truly no greater feeling than this, and all the training I do on and off Galahad is helping me increase my strength and improve my skills as a dressage rider.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2016

Lying and Passive-Aggression

Photo by Rick Hustead

Lying, losing syndrome, procrastination, the desire to control authority and a tendency to lose a job/ get fired are all manifestations of passive-aggressive behavior, observed Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas Ph.D. and his colleague, psychiatrist Dr. Ron Hodges, M.D. Furthermore, a passive-aggressive person typically has very childlike, neurotic behavior, low-self-esteem, is not assertive and tends to be impulsive. This person also tells lies to control authority figures and avoid conflict with other people. The decision to tell the truth (or not) depends on how the person believes or expects the other party to react, Dr. Kappas explained. However, these deceptions usually only make the situation worse for the person.

“Sooner or later, lies catch up with you,” he said.

According to developmental psychologist Erik Erikson, passive-aggressive behavior typically begins between the ages of three and six years. This age span is categorized as the third, or play age/loco-motor stage of development, when the youngster is developing a sense of independence. At this age, a child is motivated to try new things and show initiative. However, if the parents/guardians discourage or even punish the child for asserting independence this way, he or she is likely to become angry, frustrated and/or guilty and behave in various ways to “punish” the parents, Dr. Kappas said.

However, it is the passive-aggressive person who typically suffers the consequences of this behavior. For example, a child may insist that he doesn’t have to use the toilet before going on a car trip and then wets his pants five minutes into the journey. In adulthood, this behavior may carry over so the person sabotages his career. If there are conflicts in a romantic relationship, the person may leave clues that she is having an affair so the partner deduces what is going on without her actually having to confess about the other relationship.

To help a client resolve such passive-aggressive behavior, Dr. Kappas recommended working to increase the person’s self-confidence and self-esteem. “The lying will decrease as confidence builds.” The next step is to expose and desensitize the person to different situations that could trigger the lying response. The hypnotherapist should also work with the client to be able to face people and diplomatically resolve conflicts, which will also reduce the urge to tell a lie, the HMI founder added.

It is important to construct a framework in which a client can cognitively, consciously identify and understand how and why he uses passive-aggressive behavior to deal with a conflict. In hypnosis, therapeutic techniques such as role-playing, hypnodrama or guided imagery can help identify, address and desensitize the person to various stimuli that trigger lying. (For example, have the client imagine talking to the boss to ask for a raise.) While the person is relaxed and in hypnosis, the hypnotherapist should give suggestions that replace the person’s negative/self-destructive behaviors (e.g., passive-aggression) with constructive beliefs about increased self-worth/self-confidence and positive behaviors (e.g., problem-solving skills).

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2016

Thoughts of the Day

Photo by Sara Fogan

      Every now and then I like (and need) to take a few moments and remind myself about what is really important to me, in my life. If you follow me on my Calminsense Hypnotherapy Facebook page you may have seen some of these quotes before on this page, or will in the future. Many of these Quotes of the Day are beautiful examples and illustrations of the work I do as a hypnotherapist, so I will probably draw on them in future essays.

• “I stop wanting what I am looking for, looking for it.” – Antonio Porchia

• “Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’” – Mary Anne Radmacher

• “Only in the darkness can you see the stars.” – Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

• “Throw off the bowlines. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” – Mark Twain

• “When you focus on problems you will have more problems. When you focus on possibilities you’ll have more opportunities.” – Unknown

• “A smart person is not one that knows all the answers, but one who knows where to find them.” – William Petersen

• “Anger ruins our lives and throws a great big spanner in the harmonious workings of the universe.” – Philip Arnold

• “Do not believe all the things you tell yourself late at night.” – Unknown

• “Silence is the great teacher and to learn its lessons you must pay attention to it.” – Deepak Chopra

• “Opportunities are made, they do not just lie around waiting for someone to grab them.” – Lolly Daskal

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2016     

Dealing With Holiday Stress

(This blog was originally posted on December 12, 2014)

Photo by Rick Hustead

     It seems almost counter-intuitive, but the holidays are actually one of the most stressful times of the year. Behind all that merry-making lurks the burden of having to deal with heavy traffic and possibly inclement weather to get wherever we’re going at the same time millions of other travelers are on the move to get to their holiday destination. While your kids and spouse are tossing a football back and forth or building a snowman on the lawn, you’re preparing the holiday meal and getting the house ready to host (or being hosted by) friends and relatives. The pressure of sending greeting cards and purchasing, wrapping and sending (or delivering) gifts on time lurks behind every expression of good cheer as you negotiate (fight) your way through throngs of impatient shoppers trying to achieve the same goal. By the time the holiday “day” actually arrives, you’re tired, irritable and no longer in a festive mood. Quite frankly, you’d almost be just as happy to get home already so you could recover from preparing for an event you barely got to enjoy in the first place, if you enjoyed it at all.

     Many people also follow a particular set of behaviors during the holidays. For example, we may going to a place of worship to celebrate the holiday, travel somewhere so you can spend time with (the same) friends and/or relatives or eat a specific dish of food at the holiday meal. We likely have the same conversation or talk about similar topics every year with those same people—a conversation that, more often than not, devolves into an argument. Even if we no longer enjoy or even like the way we are spending this time, it seems impossible to do anything different because doing so would be unfamiliar, painful—even scary. That is because over time, repetition of these behaviors become a habit—a known.

     It doesn’t have to be like this. Here are a few tips to help you avoid and/or manage common triggers of holiday stress:

·         Eat nutritious meals that contain protein. I know that there are plenty of sweet and savory treats to tempt us at this time of year, but protein is the best option to help you stabilize and maintain control of your emotions. John Kappas, Ph.D., founder of the Hypnosis Motivation Institute observed a strong correlation between low blood sugar and hyper-suggestibility, which can lead to anxiety and the perception of being unable to control the environment. Protein helps to lower blood-sugar levels and stabilize mood swings, which in turn helps you feel more in control of how you react and respond to stressors in your environment.

·         Get plenty of sleep. Not only does lack of sleep disrupt the regular circadian rhythm, it can also really mess up our productivity and attitude about things going on (or not) in our lives. Even though there may be parties and other activities going on late into the night and early the next morning, listen to your body and hit the hay when you feel tired.

·         Square breathe. If you notice that your temper is starting to rise and your level of patience is on a steep decline, practice drawing several slow, deep breaths. As you inhale through your nose, visualize or imagine that you are drawing from the universe an infinite amount of patience, calm and control. Hold that breath (and image) for four seconds and then release the air through your mouth. As you exhale, visualize or imagine that you are releasing any stress and/or other negative emotion or association into the universe where it can no longer affect you or anyone else. Repeat this exercise as needed.

·         Avoid alcohol and caffeine. I’m not saying you shouldn’t have any alcoholic beverages or your morning coffee, just to be smart about it. Both alcohol and caffeine affects suggestibility, which can distort your perception about what is going on in the environment around you. If you are already feeling stressed about something these substances are more likely to increase your annoyance, frustration or unhappiness than alleviate it.

·         Do something nice for someone else. Hold a door open for another shopper, “pay it forward” at your favorite café by purchasing another customer’s coffee, volunteer at a homeless shelter/animal shelter or compliment a co-worker on the snack the person contributed to the office party, etc. It really doesn’t matter what you do so long as you hold a positive intention and benevolent attitude; doing something nice for someone else will make you feel good, too!

·         It will be over soon. Remember: The holidays only come around once a year. You have dealt with the various challenges and their related stresses in the past, so you can (and will) get through the season again! Try the suggestions above to help you deal with any stress you may be feeling and help you prepare for the holiday.

·         Hypnotherapy to deal with holiday-related stress. To help someone deal with stress during the holidays, I first explain the “mechanics” of this experience in the context of John Kappas, Ph.D.’s Theory of Mind. When the person is in hypnosis I gradually introduce specific aspects or qualities of what triggers this distress into his or her subconscious awareness and then systematically desensitize the person to that stressor. I may also incorporate guided-imagery exercises to enable the client to rehearse how he or she can and will handle the stress in a productive way. This process creates a new subconscious mental script that emphasizes a state of deep relaxation and the ability to control how they perceive and respond to negative stimuli that triggers the stress reaction. For example, I may have the client visualize that he or she is confidently, calmly deflecting a relative’s too-personal questions during the holiday meal and redirecting the conversation to a more neutral topic. As I create the individualized hypnotic script, I incorporate the client’s words and motivations to relax and enjoy the holiday events occasion, replacing his or her previous negative associations about the holidays with positive ones. Throughout the hypnosis session I use imagery and other key words to reinforce this state of deep relaxation and increase the person’s motivation to manage this stress once they return to an alert and aware state.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2016