(This blog was originally posted on February 22, 2016)
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| Photo by Rick Hustead |
At some point during our lifetime, we will fail at something. Whether
it’s a geometry test in high school, not waking up when the alarm goes off in
the morning, a relationship doesn’t blossom the way we hoped, etc., failure of
some kind is likely to touch us all. Despite the negative connotations and
associations with this term, however, failing at something can actually be one
of life’s greatest gifts because it usually presents an opportunity to try
something else that suits us better. Dr.
John Kappas, the founder of the Hypnosis
Motivation Institute, used to advise his hypnotherapy students and clients
to think or say “I like it!” even when the situation was unfavorable. Allowing
ourselves to see the opportunity in perceived misfortune or inconvenience is a
chance to look for and find that alternative path.
However, fear of failure is
also a very real phenomenon that affects many, many people to the point of
their becoming unwilling or even unable to pursue a goal or complete a task in
case something goes wrong. Of course, consciously we know that not taking an
action to realize that goal is another and more reliable way to guarantee
failing at it. However, the subconscious mind is secretly relieved because this
state of immobility is comfortable, familiar and “known.” Hypnotherapy can help
you manage and overcome this fear to get back on track to pursue desired goals.
When I work with someone who has a fear of failure, one of the first
things I want to do is help the client identify where and how this fear
evolved. If the individual does not know or can’t remember its origin, I might
suggest that the person will have a venting
dream about the incident to analyze in a future hypnotherapy session. I
would also desensitize the person to this fear and any stimuli that trigger
this anxiety and replace the fear of failure with smiling or laughing, whenever
he or she thinks about it.
Another effective strategy is to employ plenty of imagery/visualization
exercises to prepare the client to get rid of this fear, and tie a stronger
relaxation response to override the fear/anxiety. “You need to double-bind the
client by substituting a positive suggestion for negative feelings or fear,”
Dr. Kappas advised. For example, tie the client’s fear of success with the
image of actually achieving that desired goal. If the person does not have any
recent experiences or memories of achievement, I would work with him or her to choose
and set small, achievable task to start this process. As the person continues
to succeed at these projects, I would reinforce the association between
relaxation and increasing confidence with achieving these new and increasingly
challenging goals. Ultimately, eventually, the “fear of failure” will be
replaced with a new subconscious known: enjoyment of success.
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Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist
based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation
Institute in 2005. For more
information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an
appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.
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