Mourning for a Pet

Morse (1988-2000)

Pets have an important place in our heart and our lives. They keep our secrets. They provide comfort when we are sad or frustrated, and listen to our dreams and plans without judgment or prejudice. They are partners in pranks or hijinks. They “babysit” our kids and provide comfort when we don’t feel well. They teach us about responsibility, loyalty and unconditional positive regard. They are often considered part of the family, a four-legged “kid” or sibling. And, eventually but way too soon, they teach us about grief and loss.

It is natural to mourn when a pet or animal companion dies. In addition to the sorrow of losing such an important emotional bond, we also lose a self-identified role as the guardian or pet-parent. During its lifetime we provided food, water and shelter. We are willing to spend hours canvassing the neighborhood at any time of day or night and in any weather looking for our lost dog, cat, horse, etc. We decide where we will live or are willing to move depending on the pets-clause in the lease. We invest money (sometimes a lot of it) in its veterinary care and medical/liability insurance. We learn how to administer oral medications and even do insulin injections if this becomes necessary. Ultimately we often have to make that incredibly difficult decision to end our beloved animal’s suffering by ending its life.

As a fellow animal lover, I know how hard the death of a beloved pet can be. I am here to help you work through your grief and the related changes in your life that are going on right now. As a certified hypnotherapist, I offer hypnosis and/or therapeutic guided-imagery techniques that can provide the gentle, emotional healing you need right now. All of my sessions are private and confidential, and I can work with you at my office in Santa Clarita or via Skype. I am currently offering a 10 percent discount on all pet-bereavement hypnotherapy sessions, valid through March 31, 2017. (This offer may not be applied to any other offer and is not exchangeable for cash.)

To set up an appointment, please call me at (661) 433-9430 or send e-mail to calminsensehypnosis@yahoo.com.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2017

Let It All Out

Photo by Rick Hustead

In her song titled “I Just Wanna Cry,” Kristine Wriding describes a feeling we have probably all experienced at one time or another: the desire to just get in bed, crawl under the covers and have a good cry. I have no problem with that. In fact, from time to time it is very good to do just that.

As I explained in my blog titled Body Syndromes, pent-up emotions are transferred to another part of the body to be manifested later as a physical symptom when we do not express our emotions. However, if when we give ourselves permission to cry when we are sad or shout/yell when we are angry, we can release those negative emotions and prevent carrying all that negative energy around.

Having said that, it is also important to let go of your conscious and subconscious attachment to whatever or whoever triggered that emotional release. If you continue to focus and dwell on a source of stress/anxiety you will only continue to experience the emotional/physiological discomfort. Rather than releasing this negativity, re-visiting the negative memory only strengthens the negative association. As John C. Maxwell observed, “A victim mind-set causes people to focus on what they cannot do instead of what they can do. It is a recipe for continued failure.”

Therefore, once you have expressed your feelings, give yourself permission to truly release any attachment to that negativity so you can continue to move forward in your life.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2017

Thoughts of the Day

Photo by Sara Fogan

      Every now and then I like (and need) to take a few moments and remind myself about what is really important to me, in my life. If you follow me on my Calminsense Hypnotherapy Facebook page you may have seen some of these quotes before on this page, or will in the future. Many of these Quotes of the Day are beautiful examples and illustrations of the work I do as a hypnotherapist, so I will probably draw on them in future essays.

• “A single conversation with a wise man is better than ten years of study.” – Chinese Proverb

• “Honesty is a very expensive gift. Don’t expect it from cheap people.” – Warren Buffet

• "You are not an observer, you are a participant." – Thich Nhat Hanh

• “Put your heart, mind, and soul into even your smallest acts. This is the secret of success.” – Swami Sivananda

• “Life is not always a matter of holding good cards, but sometimes, playing a poor hand well.” – Jack London

• “Analyze your mistakes. You've already paid the tuition; you might as well get the lesson.” – Tim Fargo

• “Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions.” – Dalai Lama

• “Don't be afraid of confusion. Confusion precedes learning!” – Bruce Van Horn

• “Attack the evil that is within yourself, rather than attacking the evil that is in others.” – Confucius

• “To take a risk and fail is not a failure. Real failure is to fear taking any risk.” – Lolly Daskal

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2017

It's Tax Season: Give Them a Twinkie!

Photo by Rick Hustead

It is still about six weeks away, but April 15 (Tax Day)—or, April 18, this year—feels much closer for a lot of us. Whether you are meeting with accountants and preparing to write those checks or the CPA helping others negotiate tax season, this is a great opportunity to remind you to be kind to yourself and start doling out those “Twinkies.”

In this case, I am not referring to the Hostess Twinkie cake but a concept introduced by John Kappas, Ph.D. Rather, a Twinkie is the concept Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder used to represent a metaphoric reward for a behavior or attitude that may feel like a sacrifice to the other person but takes some considerable stress off you. In the context of paying or preparing to pay annual taxes, an Emotional Sexual individual may be experiencing extra stress as he or she balances the budget and looks for ways to eke out extra money to send to the government in April. As I explained in my essay titled All About Emotional and Physical Sexuality, Part 3, an Emotional Sexual’s primary focus is always financial security. If the person is worried or preoccupied about something to do with his or her career or money, this person will not have time or patience for anything else until this issue is resolved. This is not good news for the Physical Sexual partner, who becomes anxious and gets hurt feelings if romantic overtures are ignored or rebuffed. 

To prevent misunderstanding and unnecessary conflict and increase physical desire between you and your partner, Dr. Kappas recommended that each individual “give a Twinkie” (a metaphoric treat or favor) in the form of a desired behavior, from time to time. For example, the Physical Sexual partner can give the person time and space to work on those W-2, 1099, etc., forms without interrupting the other person to complete household chores or even for physical intimacy. (The Emotional probably isn’t interested in that right now, anyway.) In return, the other person can send love notes, have flowers delivered or set a date to share a romantic meal with the Physical partner to show that he or she is still thinking about the other person. Not only will these kinds of behaviors take pressure off, the subconscious gratitude each person feels for being allowed to satisfy core personality traits will increase sexual desire and willingness to express loving/affectionate feelings for the other person, later.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2017