Fire as Metaphor

Photo by Rick Hustead

The element of fire is also an effective metaphor in hypnotherapy. For many of us, fire represents passion in an emotion: love, anger, hate, jealousy. It can also symbolize dedication, enthusiasm, excitement, desire: “There is/I’ve got a fire in my belly.” When an event or interaction triggers an emotional reaction, this response may flare intensely for a little while until enough time has passed to temper that initial interest. Until that happens, it can feel like a battle is going on in our mind and heart to handle the sudden overload of feelings, perceptions and reactions to control our behavior. Sometimes we win that battle. Sometimes we do not.

Like fire, emotions can be and feel very powerful to the point where we feel or literally become overwhelmed by their heat and force. A tiny spark can smolder for hours, days or even years before erupting into a conflagration. Similarly, perception of a thoughtless word or action can dig into the subconscious mind and trigger an inexplicably hostile response (parataxic distortion) that is more a reaction to a previous interaction than the current one. Nonetheless, to stay consistent with the fire metaphor, once this metaphoric match is struck the verbal and emotional explosion can feel overwhelming to all parties involved.

I tap into metaphors for all four elements—water, air, earth and fire—to inspire and encourage clients’ desire to change an unwanted behavior while simultaneously reinforcing their strategies to control previous automatic responses to behavioral/emotional triggers. Because the element of fire can be so volatile, it is useful to reference the power and stability of earth and the cool, reflective characteristics of water to reframe an emotional reaction or response. Similarly, when a client needs extra motivation to change that unwanted behavior once and for all, the energy of fire is ideal to re-ignite the person’s dedication to achieving that goal.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy®, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2017

Air as Metaphor

Photo by Rick Hustead

Air is all around us. It sustains us. It ensures life, for without air (oxygen) we cannot survive. When we breathe, we take more or less of it into our lungs and send the rich oxygen molecules throughout the bloodstream to nourish every cell, tissue, organ and bone of the body. When we are working or playing hard, we may gulp in deeper breaths more often. When we experience extreme levels of stress, we sometimes forget to take in that air or even breathe so quickly in shallow gasps that the oxygen doesn’t get where it needs to be. Where would we be, without air?

Consequently, I incorporate breathing exercises and metaphors about air and filling the lungs in my hypnotherapy consultations. Through teaching my clients how to breathe deeply and completely, I also provide them with insight about the power of this action and air to relax, comfort, reassure and carry them through a stressful moment. When we can breathe normally, naturally and deeply, that is one less thing the physical body needs to worry about during an unexpected crisis. The subconscious mind is already pre-wired for fight or flight. However, breathing—filling the lungs with air and sending the oxygen to the organs that need it in a fight for survival—takes some of the pressure off: the mind knows it has what it needs for instant action. Breathing, especially when we are breathing deeply, is a harbinger of relaxation. Imagine a scene in nature, perhaps in a forest or at the beach. A gentle breeze is blowing, rustling leaves in the trees above or pushing the hair behind or in front of your face. You can see birds in the distance, floating on the air currents that carry them for a few heartbeats before they need to flap their wings again to stay aloft. And then they soar again, motionless, for a few more heartbeats before they fly away.

Air also represents power, such as the strong Santa Ana Winds that blow through the canyons in Southern California in late summer and early fall. Sometimes these winds—this air—is destructive. A particularly strong gust can knock down trees or utility poles; motorists often report feeling buffeted by the force of a hard wind as they drive down highways. In a sailboat on the ocean or a lake, however, a strong breeze is necessary to move you across the water from one shore to another. However, if there isn’t a motor in or on your boat if the wind suddenly stops, you can be stuck in the middle of that lake or ocean for a long time until that breeze kicks up again.

Air is a metaphor for communication. We think of radio transmissions coming across “the air-waves.” We need air (oxygen) in our lungs when we speak or sing to project the sound or intensity of the meaning we are trying to communicate to someone else. The flute, clarinet, saxophone, etc. are all “wind” instruments that use our breath to create the beautiful notes that we hear as the breath is exhaled. During hypnotherapy, I sometimes have clients practice power breathing to forcefully expel negative emotions or distressing/stressful associations with their breath, followed by a slow, deep inhalation to restore a sensation of calm and feeling centered.

Finally, air as a metaphor can alternately represent various emotions and states of being. Expressions such as “I feel light as air!” or “I’m floating on air!” are used to express extreme happiness or exuberance. A sentiment such as, “The air is so thick/heavy in here, I feel like I can’t breathe” suggests some kind of oppression. The experience or image or suggestion of standing in an open field with the wide expanse of sky above your head and rolling hills below your feet often evokes a sensation of freedom and exhilaration. The desire to inhale a deep lungful of air and appreciate this sensation is more often an automatic response than a conscious action. Finally, when we are in a closed room or small space for a long period of time it is easy to become panicked and want to move, but opening a window or door just a crack is often enough to reduce that anxiety.

This is what air can do.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy®, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2017

Thoughts of the Day

Photo by Sara Fogan

      Every now and then I like (and need) to take a few moments and remind myself about what is really important to me, in my life. If you follow me on my Calminsense Hypnotherapy Facebook page you may have seen some of these quotes before on this page, or will in the future. Many of these Quotes of the Day are beautiful examples and illustrations of the work I do as a hypnotherapist, so I will probably draw on them in future essays.

• “Only the wisest and stupidest of men never change.” – Confucius

• “Why worry? If you’ve done the very best you can, worrying won’t make it better.” – Walt Disney

• “Energy flows where attention goes.” – Michael Bernard Beckwith

• “Be not afraid of going slowly; be afraid only of standing still.” – Chinese Proverb

• “Go out on a limb. That’s where the fruit is.” – Roy Rogers

• “Have more than you show, speak less than you know.” – William Shakespeare

• “Everyone comes into your life for a reason, some for good or bad, they may shape us, break us, but in the end they make us who we are.” – Poppy Mathobela

• “There's no scarcity of opportunity to make a living at what you love. There is only a scarcity of resolve to make it happen.” – Wayne Dyer

• “If you're determined to stand, nothing can move you. If you're determined to move, nothing can stop you.” – Lolly Daskal

• “Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.” – Albert Einstein

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2017     

Have a Nice Day!

(This blog was originally posted on January 25, 2016)

“When the world gets in my way I say, ‘Have a nice day!’” – Bon Jovi

Image courtesy of Microsoft

What do you do when everything seems to go wrong in your day? I pondered this question while driving home from the barn this afternoon when “Have a Nice Day” by Bon Jovi came up on my playlist. It is so easy to internalize the frustration and run the unending loop of self-recrimination or to blame others when a plan doesn’t work out the way we plan or want it to.

Some people yell. Others get in their car and take a fast (and sometimes reckless) drive in the hope of blowing off some steam. It is always tempting and too easy to channel frustration and take it out on the next person you see, such as give the barista at Starbucks® a hard time for getting your order wrong. It is usually a little more challenging to just let go of your immediate (and usually transitory) angst to focus on what is actually going right in your day.

The late Dr. John Kappas, founder of the Hypnosis Motivation Institute, used to include the following suggestion in many hypnotic scripts: I like it. It was (and is) a great motivator when you are learning a new behavior, such as politely refusing dessert after a meal to comply with your weight-loss program. Even when something “goes wrong” or does not fulfill your expectations or desires, this simple suggestion enables you to open your eyes to the opportunities this inconvenience could yield. So, you burned the special meal you spent all day preparing for that special someone? Yes, that is inconvenient and frustrating. However, Dr. Kappas’s suggestion facilitated a new attitude and ability to see an opportunity in the experience—a shared laugh or maybe even an impromptu, very romantic picnic of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on the living-room floor.

So, someone cut you off on the freeway and prevented you from getting off the highway at your intended exit? Once again, this new attitude of “liking it” enables you to pass the negative emotion (frustration) and continue on your way. Who knows, your unintended detour might steer you clear of a traffic jam further up the road on your intended route that might have also added even more time to your original journey.

Many of us have experienced a situation in which someone seems to be taking out his or her frustrations on us. This person hasn’t learned the power of Dr. Kappas’s nifty little trick of “liking it” and instead tries to feel better by making things more difficult or awkward for others. That’s okay. You can still turn the potentially unpleasant situation around by reminding yourself that you like what is happening because it the situation is giving you a new perspective/experience that you can learn and grow from. Then, as Bon Jovi does in their hit song titled Have a Nice Day, politely tell the person to have a nice day and walk away. It is impossible to experience two opposite emotions at the same time: e.g., anxiety versus relaxation, frustration versus optimism. Ultimately, saying and believing “I like it!” and expressing a positive outlook and sentiments for others enables you to improve the situation for yourself by finding opportunities where someone else may only see obstacles.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2017