Have a Nice Day!

(This blog was originally posted on January 25, 2016)

Image courtesy of Microsoft

 

“When the world gets in my way I say, ‘Have a nice day!’” – Bon Jovi, “Have a Nice Day”

What do you do when everything seems to go wrong in your day? I pondered this question while driving home from the barn this afternoon when “Have a Nice Day” by Bon Jovi came up on my playlist. It is so easy to internalize the frustration and run the unending loop of self-recrimination or to blame others when a plan doesn’t work out the way we plan or want it to. 

Some people yell. Others get in their car and take a fast (and sometimes reckless) drive in the hope of blowing off some steam. It is always tempting and too easy to channel frustration and take it out on the next person you see, such as give the barista at Starbucks® a hard time for getting your order wrong. It is usually a little more challenging to just let go of your immediate (and usually transitory) angst to focus on what is actually going right in your day.

The late Dr. John Kappas, founder of the Hypnosis Motivation Institute, used to include the following suggestion in many hypnotic scripts: I like it. It was (and is) a great motivator when you are learning a new behavior, such as politely refusing dessert after a meal to comply with your weight-loss program. Even when something “goes wrong” or does not fulfill your expectations or desires, this simple suggestion enables you to open your eyes to the opportunities this inconvenience could yield. So, you burned the special meal you spent all day preparing for that special someone? Yes, that is inconvenient and frustrating. However, Dr. Kappas’s suggestion facilitated a new attitude and ability to see an opportunity in the experience—a shared laugh or maybe even an impromptu, very romantic picnic of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on the living-room floor.

So, someone cut you off on the freeway and prevented you from getting off the highway at your intended exit? Once again, this new attitude of “liking it” enables you to pass the negative emotion (frustration) and continue on your way. Who knows, your unintended detour might steer you clear of a traffic jam further up the road on your intended route that might have also added even more time to your original journey.

Many of us have experienced a situation in which someone seems to be taking out his or her frustrations on us. This person hasn’t learned the power of Dr. Kappas’s nifty little trick of “liking it” and instead tries to feel better by making things more difficult or awkward for others. That’s okay. You can still turn the potentially unpleasant situation around by reminding yourself that you like what is happening because it the situation is giving you a new perspective/experience that you can learn and grow from. Then, as Bon Jovi does in their hit song titled Have a Nice Day, politely tell the person to have a nice day and walk away. It is impossible to experience two opposite emotions at the same time: e.g., anxiety versus relaxation, frustration versus optimism. Ultimately, saying and believing “I like it!” and expressing a positive outlook and sentiments for others enables you to improve the situation for yourself by finding opportunities where someone else may only see obstacles.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. In July 2019 she was voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2019

Hypnosis to Overcome Fear of Water

(This blog was originally posted on August 24, 2016)

Photo by Rick Hustead

Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D., once worked with a client to help her overcome her irrational fear of water. She told the hypnotherapist that she even felt anxious just thinking about water and always tried to wipe the fluid off her face as quickly as possible. This anxiety was a legitimate fear versus a phobia because the client had nearly drowned in a river as a young child and was subsequently involved in a car crash where the vehicle went over a bridge. However, she also manifested 27 symptoms consistent with having low blood sugar. 

When working with someone who has an irrational fear of water, start by advising the person to change her eating habits to normalize the blood-sugar level, Dr. Kappas advised. It is also necessary to modify her suggestibility to decrease this fear and susceptibility to suggestions about it. Once the client is in hypnosis, work with the individual to separate her anxiety of water and the sensation of it making contact with her face.

Use circle therapy to desensitize the person to the fear reaction by repeatedly having her bring up the fear and then relax, the hypnotherapist said. This process will help the individual associate relaxation with the originally threatening stimulus. As the client disassociates her fear of water from the fear of her physical reaction, she will gradually be able to think about this stimulus without associating it to a fear response.

Finally, use a double bind to lock in her sense of relaxation, Dr. Kappas said: “The harder you try to feel the fear of water, the more difficult it will become.”

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. In July 2019 she was voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2019

In Honor of Dr. K.

(This blog was originally posted on July 6, 2016)

Photo by Rick Hustead

One of the most interesting components of my hypnotherapy training at the Hypnosis Motivation Institute was video “classes” featuring HMI founder John Kappas, Ph.D. Dr. Kappas passed away a few years before I started my training; however, these tapes (now digital files, I’m sure) made it feel like he was still right there guiding future generations in his hypnotherapy method. Instructors at the hypnotherapy college continue to reference his methods and philosophies in their lectures.

The first time I “saw” Dr. Kappas was when I watched the 101-5 and 101-6 videos about his Emotional and Physical Sexuality concept. I had just completed the 101 mini-course about hypnosis and decided to pursue the hypnotherapy certification. My instructor suggested that everyone who planned to do the certification should watch these videos before the next (201) section of classes began in a few weeks. Ever the over-eager student, I reserved the videos and a viewing-booth right away and settled in to be amazed. Boy was I.

The first thing I noticed about Dr. Kappas was his incredible charisma and soft-yet-booming voice. I’m sure—I know—I went into a light trance watching the classes. I also thought he sometimes bore a strong physical resemblance to the late John Thaw, a British actor probably best known for portraying Inspector Morse in the popular television series. I’m sure that factor alone inspired me to “endeavor” to become the best hypnotherapist I could. (Sorry, I had to write that. I’m sure any Inspector Morse fans reading this blog got the pun.)

One of the first techniques I learned during my hypnotherapy training was how to do an inferred arm-raising induction. Dr. Kappas taught and believed this was the most effective way to help a client achieve hypnotic depth. It’s true. I confess that I did forgo the arm-raising induction for a very brief time when I started my practice. But I quickly realized/discovered that the hypnosis I was providing my clients without using this technique was not as intense or successful and quickly incorporated the I.A.-R. back into my hypnotherapy-induction repertoire.

Dr. Kappas’s models of E. and P. sexuality and E. and P. suggestibility have also become a daily part of my own life. I can’t think of any situation social interaction in which these concepts do not somehow apply; they have certainly helped me to better understand behavior. I liken learning these theories and models to putting a technicolor spin on my psychology background and training. In addition to being a hypnotherapist, Dr. Kappas was also a psychologist; virtually every one of his therapeutic concepts is modeled on psychological theory. For example, did you know that passive-aggression is associated with very early stages of development? To address and change this behavior in hypnotherapy, I would desensitize the client to the various stimuli that trigger the resistance and help the person find more effective ways to express feelings and fulfil unmet needs.

When I look back on my life and various opportunities I have enjoyed, one of the greatest things I have ever done is become a certified hypnotherapist. This career enables me to incorporate the theories about the brain, psychology and emotion to talk directly to the client’s subconscious mind to help the person change unwanted behaviors beliefs and behaviors. Hypnosis is effective, drug-free and it has been around for centuries. And thanks (many, many thanks) to Dr. John Kappas’s teachings and the Hypnosis Motivation Institute, I am now part of this wonderful tradition and can help you achieve vocational and avocational self-improvement goals.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. In July 2019 she was voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2019