Mother's Day

(This blog was originally posted on May 11, 2014)

Photo by Rick Hustead

     There is no one in the world like a mother. Today, as we get ready to celebrate Mother’s Day in two days’ time, I would like to tell you about mine.

    When I think about my mother, I am in awe. I marvel at the things she accomplished during her life, the challenges she overcome and the joy she brought to my life. I am inspired by everything she was as a woman and as a mother. She was my biggest champion and my loudest cheerleader. She was always there to provide a warm, comforting shoulder to cry on or to deliver the pointed pep talk to motivate me when I needed it. Her love always made me feel protected, supported and secure.

     My mother imparted her wisdom and love in the small and in the big things she did. She prepared meals when she was tired. She smiled when she was sad. She forgave when she was hurt. When I didn’t feel well, she was the first person to check on me to make sure I was drinking enough fluids and getting enough rest. If I wanted or needed something, more often than not she surprised me with that desired object weeks or months later. By then, I had often forgotten that I even mentioned wanting or pointing it out to her, which made her present even more special to me.

     My mother was my greatest confidant, my very best friend. She was one of the few people with whom I can sit in comfortable silence and just be in the moment. She was someone I can laugh with about the goings-on in one of our favorite television shows, compare favorite recipes and discuss the heavy issues we heard about in the news. She showed me by example how to give love and respect the people I care about. She taught me so much about life by just watching her live hers. 

       To my most beloved mother and yours, I wish you a very happy Mother’s Day!

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2016

Thoughts of the Day

Photo by Sara Fogan

      Every now and then I like (and need) to take a few moments and remind myself about what is really important to me, in my life. If you follow me on my Calminsense Hypnotherapy Facebook page you may have seen some of these quotes before on this page, or will in the future. Many of these Quotes of the Day are beautiful examples and illustrations of the work I do as a hypnotherapist, so I will probably draw on them in future essays.

• “Many people think excitement is happiness, but when you are excited you are not peaceful. True happiness is based on peace.” – Thich Nhat Hanh

• “Always say ‘yes’ to the present moment. What could be more futile, more insane, than to create inner resistance to what already is.” – Eckhart  Tolle

• “The secret of attraction is to love yourself. Attractive people judge neither themselves nor others.” – Deepak Chopra

• “Your ability to endure difficult things is in direct proportion to the clarity of your vision of the future.” – Bruce van Horn

• “All great achievements require time.” – Maya Angelou

• "If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us.” – Hermann Hesse

• “We will be friends till we are old and senile…then we will be new friends!” – Somecards.com

• “Be here now.” – Ram Dass

• “The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.” – Confucius

• “Life is a river, always flowing. Do not hold onto things. Work hard.” – Buddha

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2016

A Shorthand Guide to E & P Communication

Photo by Rick Hustead

Does this scenario sound familiar? You know that the milk is running out, but rather than putting the product on the grocery list you or your partner put the near-empty carton back into the fridge rather than finish it off. There may not even be enough left for cereal in the morning, but that’s not the point: its presence is there to remind someone to get to the grocery store right away and buy more. Passive-aggressive behavior aside, the person who left the milk knows that the other partner will get the inference.

When I teach my hypnotherapy clients about suggestibility and the tenets of Emotional and Physical Sexuality, one of the most important components of these lessons is to increases their understanding of communication between these groups. Certified hypnotherapist Alex G. Kappas, Ph.D., used to say: “I know you believe you think you understand what I have just said; but I am not sure that what you heard is not what I meant.” In other words, each of us tends to “hear” a specific message based on our previous experience and expectations about what we think the other person is (or should be) saying, based on our mental script. In today’s blog I will give you some hints about how to better understand the meaning behind those often-misunderstood words.

For example, someone with emotional suggestibility tends to better understand metaphor and inference while the physical suggestible counterpart generally takes the literal meaning of the words that he hears or reads. The Emotional suggestible easily perceives and understands sarcasm and double entendre in a conversation or written text—even if none exists or was intended. The physical suggestible is more likely to take the literal meaning of these words, but may misunderstand or completely miss these subtle inflections of the other person’s voice to indicate that the comment was a joke. For example, the Emotional may perceive an unintended slight while the Physical may not pick up the subtle hint to change a behavior, and then resent the partner for not warning about the otherwise-avoidable social faux pas.

The sexual personality of the parties also plays an important role in this kind of (mis)communication. Remember: the Emotional Sexual individual is naturally attracted to the Physical Sexual counterpart, and vice versa. Consequently, the Physical speaks in metaphor and inferences that will attract the Emotional partner; while the Emo speaks literally and directly to attract and communicate with the Physical. Conflict and hurt can arise if and when one partner literally processes the words or infers a specific meaning in the tone or brusqueness of other person’s voice. The Emotional Sexual partner’s economy of words and direct way of communicating may hurt the Physical partner’s feelings and fuel a grudge without knowing or intending to create this rift.

When the Emotional Sexual partner communicates, verbal or written sentences are often short, direct and to the point. Conversely, the Physical tends to take his or her time, leading up to the point of the anecdote by laying out every detail of the experience before (eventually) reaching the resolution or outcome. In this case, the Emotional may become impatient waiting for the partner’s circuitous way of story-telling. However, the other person is likely to feel hurt or slighted when the Emotional starts gesturing to hurry up or noticeably tunes out the story.

Finally, the different communication styles and preferences are also evident in the kinds of books or reading material that an Emotional suggestible or Physical suggestible is likely to prefer. Emotionals tend to go for novels/fiction whereas Physicals enjoy biographies and non-fiction books. 

These descriptions are intended as guidelines to help you better understand how you communicate and why misunderstandings can occur. When in doubt, if you don’t understand what someone has said—or what you think the person meant—ask for clarification. Words aren’t the only components of effective communication, but they are often the most objective ones. 




Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2016