The Art of Communication

  

              Communication is an art. I am not talking just about expressing a thought or a feeling in words (or dance, music, art, etc.) but also how and whether we take the time to really experience what is being communicated to us. Often, we are so preoccupied with our own thoughts about what we are seeing or listening to, we neglect to notice and process what is going on emotionally, physically and spiritually with the other person. We express ourselves to share how we feel or what we think about something; so what can we do to ensure that the other person truly “gets” what we have just communicated?

                Hypnotherapist Dr. Alex G. Kappas, Ph.D., used to say: “I know you believe you think you understand what I have just said; but I am not sure that what you heard is not what I meant.” In other words, we tend to “hear” a specific message based on our previous experience and expectations about what we think the other person is (or should be) saying as it fits our (not their) mental script. Then, we get preoccupied thinking about what we should or want to say in response and likely miss the rest of the message. Most of us do this subconsciously from time to time. So, how do we become an active listener?

                The answer is simply to listen. Be consciously present in the conversation. Pay attention to each word and each sentence as the other person is speaking. Do you understand what he or she is trying to say? Ask a question, rephrase the statement to check that you are getting the information your companion is trying to share with you. Imagine, visualize, picture or pretend that the only people in the room (or world) at that moment are you and the person you are talking to; actively “tune out” any distractions in your environment, or use those distractions to deepen your level of focus and concentration on the conversation you are in. Turn off/ignore your phone. Do not interrupt your companion while he or she is speaking but wait for a natural ebb or pause in the conversation for your turn to speak.

                Sometimes the most important part of talking is actually listening.

         

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014