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Wednesday, April 2, 2014

The Origins of Fears and Phobias

Photo courtesy of Microsoft

Someone who has a phobia generally cannot identify
when or why it first developed, only that it just grew.

Every person is born with two specific fear reactions: fear of loud noises and fear of falling. Every other fear is a learned behavior. Although they have different origins, both fears and phobias can be very inconvenient and even debilitating until you can overcome and work through the anxiety that is associated with the specific stimuli (e.g., fear of dogs, water, spiders, flying, riding in elevators, etc.). Following is a brief description of each of these phenomena:

· Fears, which are generally formed earlier in life, are triggered by a specific event or exposure to the stimulus. Although a fear can develop during adulthood, it usually starts during childhood because children are typically more suggestible or impressionable. A fear is a rational response—the result of a traumatic experience—that is manifested by a very severe emotional reaction, such as changes in breathing or heart-rate. For example, perhaps you were bitten by a relative’s Chihuahua when you were a toddler and have carried a generalized fear of dogs ever since.

· Phobias can develop at any age, although they typically have a later onset than fears. Also, the person is aware that the phobic reaction is unnatural and even illogical, and the cause of the phobia cannot be traced to a particular event or trigger. Phobias, especially agoraphobia (fear of open spaces) are often associated with a sudden drop in blood-sugar level. When this happens, the body automatically “defends” itself by substituting adrenaline for glucose (sugar). The bloodstream carries and delivers this hormone to the organs, muscles and glands to activate the fight/flight or survival response. When blood-sugar levels are low, it is common to experience various physical symptoms such as nervousness, anxiety, dizziness or nausea; in extreme cases, you may have a panic attack or even faint. Meanwhile, your subconscious mind automatically attaches significance to whatever you are doing or even your location when this discomfort sets in, and the phobia is born.

Hypnotherapy is a great modality with which to “unlearn” and change or replace these unwanted fear and phobia behaviors. When the person is in hypnosis, I guide him or her through a visualization exercise in which he or she “experiences” every phase of the fear/phobia response while systematically desensitizing him or her to the negative (trigger) stimulus. I also use imagery to replace the anxiety response (association) with the relaxation, calm and comfort the client is currently enjoying. Finally, I teach the individual how to create an emotional anchor that can be activated whenever he or she feels stressed or anxious. For more information about the relationship between nutrition and the development of phobias, please read my “Nutrition and Hypnotherapy” blog (January 14, 2014).

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Isn’t It Interesting…?

During my senior year at college I took an art (drawing) class as one of my electives. I preferred to look at and create portraits of people, animals and even scenery; “modern art” was not my thing. However, one of the class projects entailed using more abstract techniques such as lines, angles, shapes and bold splashes of color so that the specific object I drew would be virtually unrecognizable. The instructor even took the class on a field trip to check out a modern-art display at the Museum of Contemporary Art in Los Angeles. The excursion was meant to inspire the class and get everyone thinking not just about the specific techniques the artist used to create his or her masterpiece. In addition, we were supposed to consider the meaning or interpretation of a few specific pieces that “spoke” to us.

I admit that I felt a little panicked and completely out of my element during most of this excursion. (Did I mention that modern art was not my thing?) I spent a lot of time staring, squinting and moving around different paintings trying to figure out what I was supposed to “get” out of them. What was I looking at? What was I supposed to see? I made notes about artistic techniques I recognized from the class. I did quick sketches of what I was looking at and scribbled questions to myself beside the illustrations. Nothing so far was really speaking to me; none of these works even made any sense to me. Time was ticking away and the field trip was almost over. Finally, I did the only thing I could think of: I put aside all of my expectations and preconceptions about what I should be seeing so I could just observe the details in front of my eyes. There would be plenty of time to assess and analyze everything, later. So, I looked.

My eyes were opened that day. The second I stopped trying to categorize everything I saw, I could see and appreciate the tiny details of artistic technique—the slightest feathering of a brush stroke at the end of a line; was this intentional or accidental?—that I might never have noticed. I considered the angles and geometric shapes, shade and lightening of the color, in terms of how I might or could create a similar effect in my next project. And then I was able to wonder: What could or would these effects mean for the image I was trying to represent?

One of my friends has a favorite expression that I have started to use a lot, too: “Isn’t it interesting…” As in, isn’t it interesting how someone with physical suggestibility hears a question directly and literally but will make a statement that is full of metaphor and inference? Or, isn’t it interesting how two people with the same self-improvement goal can have completely different triggers for the unwanted behavior? Looking back, that field trip was the first time I was intentionally, consciously noticing and appreciating interesting and unique aspects of an otherwise-familiar situation. I looked at lines, smudges and shapes drawn in charcoal pencil. I regarded splashes of watercolor paint, or heavy lines and smudges of acrylic paint smeared onto canvas screens and sheets of metal. And then, somehow, all of this information (message units) coalesced into some kind of recognizable image in my subconscious mind. Suddenly, many individual pictures came together to create a story in my mind.

Isn’t that interesting?

Monday, March 31, 2014

Passive Aggressive Behavior

Photo by Sara Fogan

Passive aggression is like a glacier: it's strong, solid and
makes its opinion obvious without seeming to do much of anything.

You must repeatedly remind your teenage son to end a phone conversation with his friend so he can pick up his younger sibling from band practice before he finally snaps the phone shut and stomps out of the room. When you ask your spouse to make a stop on the way home from work to pick up the food you ordered for supper, the response is a loud sigh and a sarcastic comment: “Sure, it’s not as if I don’t have enough to do during the day.” Maybe you consistently forget to return a novel you borrowed from your friend, even though you see each other just about every day at school or work. Sound familiar?

These behaviors are examples of passive aggression, a common form of defensive behavior. It is not exclusive to males or females, and it can be manifested at any age starting from very early childhood until the end of the person’s life. It can start at age 18 months to between two and five years old, when a child starts to differentiate from the parent or caretaker in a subconscious bid to become more independent and autonomous. The more the adult tries to exert authority over the youngster, the more resistant the child becomes: You say yes, the child says no. If the parent does not provide options or alternatives for the desired behavior, but simply demands the child to do what he or she has been told, the youngster doesn’t have a chance to experience the desired autonomy. The child may then exert his or her independence by forgetting to do something or make jokes or sarcastic comments in front of other people as a way to express frustration about the situation. Over time, this tactic becomes a “known” in the subconscious mind and, eventually, the preferred problem-solving strategy and technique.

With the exception of reactions to fear of falling and fear of loud noises, passive aggression—like all other behaviors—is learned; therefore, it can be unlearned. When I work with a client to overcome this “resistant lifestyle,” I will first explore the different emotional triggers for the client’s behavior, such as tone of voice/words used of the person making a request, the time of day the client is most likely to respond this way, etc. Then, while the person is in hypnosis, I will systematically desensitize him or her to these triggers and teach a relaxation response that can be substituted for the previous “known” behavior (passive aggression). Finally, I may incorporate some hypnodrama and therapeutic guided imagery or visualization techniques to give the person a chance to rehearse expressing his or her needs in these specific situations. Over time, by practicing the relaxation response and communicating what he or she needs at that time, the person can establish these behaviors as a new known response in other similar situations.

Sunday, March 30, 2014

Doing My Homework

In my blog on March 26, 2014, I described how I create customize hypnotic scripts for each of my clients. This process actually (unofficially) begins during the first introductory conversation I have with a prospective client, when the person contacts me to discuss whether hypnotherapy can help him or her to achieve specific vocational and avocational self-improvement goals. During the course of this conversation, I try to get as much information about my prospective client and the presenting issue as I can. This isn’t being “nosey”; rather, I need to know whether these goals fall within my scope of expertise as a hypnotherapist. If not, I will refer him or her to a medical doctor or licensed mental health practitioner, who would be a better source of support for that issue. (For a complete list of ways in which hypnotherapy may help you, check out the Appendix tab on my website: http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/appendix.html)

Once I determine that I can help you, I will need to know even more information and specific details about your behavior/habit: How long have you been doing “X”? Under what situations/circumstances are you most likely to do or want to engage in the behavior? When and why did you start doing this behavior? Have you ever tried to change or stop this behavior in the past? Why do you want to stop doing “X” now? Finally, I will ask whether you ever been hypnotized before. It does not matter whether you have been hypnotized in terms of whether hypnosis can help you achieve your goal; it will. However, this information is useful for me to help gauge how much time you may need to become comfortable being hypnotized (i.e., the hypnotic induction) before we address your specific behavior in hypnosis.

Once we conclude the conversation and we have set your appointment with me, I consult my notes and text/course material for different hypnosis and guided-imagery techniques that I feel will be most appropriate or applicable to help you achieve your behavioral goal. I may revise or write out a completely new hypnotic script that I can use when we meet that is composed of elements of several different scripts. If we have worked together before, I will review the notes I made during your previous session and research hypnosis scripts or techniques to follow up our recent work together. Of course, I know that this plan may change or be revised again, depending on what we discuss during the session and how you respond to/feel during the hypnosis, etc. I will also review different hypnosis and imagery techniques, and even prepare alternate scripts, to use during the session if necessary or as time permits.

My goal as your hypnotherapist is to help you address and change the habits that no longer work for you and replace them with behaviors that do. To do this, I constantly review and practice the techniques I know, and train for certifications in new topics that will enable me to help more people in even more ways.

Friday, March 28, 2014

Virtual Getaway

Photo by Sara Fogan

“You deserve a break today…” So sings a popular advertisement jingle. Unfortunately, it is not always easy to get that well-deserved break when we want (or need) it. That’s okay: even a mini, mental vacation can provide the emotional and mental respite you need right now to tide you over until you get a chance to enjoy the real thing. Here are some suggestions:

· Read a book for fun. It doesn’t matter if it is fiction or nonfiction, poetry or Manga. Anything that draws you into a subject deeply enough so you can temporarily lose track of time and place will enable you to feel refreshed when you put the book down.

· Exercise, meditate or do yoga. Physical activity is not only good for the body, it also kicks up the endorphins—those “feel good” chemicals inside—that help us to relax and relieve stress. If you ever go for a run to clear your head and experience the runner’s “high” you know exactly what I mean.

· Go outside and experience nature. It doesn’t matter whether you go to the beach, walk in the woods or take a stroll in the neighborhood park; just get outside and experience the sounds, smells and other sensation of this different environment. Spend time looking at your environment: what do you notice that you have never seen before? What color is the sky? Are there leaves on the trees yet? Is there snow still on the ground?

· Play catch with your dog, cuddle your cat or groom or ride your horse. Nothing compares with the Zen experience of interacting one-on-one with an animal in this way. Clear your mind (and agenda) to spend some time with another creature: focus all of your attention and energy on the animal and immerse yourself in its world for a little while. Notice how your pet responds to what you do and how you communicate with it. What do you do that earns the biggest positive response? What do you do (or don’t do) that the animal seems less interested in? Isn’t it wonderful how little you actually have to say or do to elicit the wagging tail, purr or gentle blowing sound to indicate that it is content? There is nowhere and no one in the world that gives us this kind of positive feedback for just doing something that feels good to both parties.

· “Special place” imagery: Close your eyes and draw slow, deep breaths. Visualize, imagine, picture or pretend that you are in an environment where you feel completely relaxed, calm and comfortable. This can be someplace that is familiar to you, where you have visited before and really like; or, it can be a location of your own creation. Notice every detail of the environment around you: what do you hear, see, smell, feel, taste? Enjoy the sensation of feeling completely relaxed and at peace with everyone and everything around you in this place. You can anchor these feelings of calm, comfort and relaxation by pressing or rubbing your thumb and index (pointing) finger of your right hand. Anytime you activate this anchor, you can and will immediately access these sensations. To finish this exercise, thank the images you have encountered and open your eyes.

Have a great weekend, everyone!

Thursday, March 27, 2014

The Art of Communication

Communication is an art. I am not talking just about expressing a thought or a feeling in words (or dance, music, art, etc.) but also how and whether we take the time to really experience what is being communicated to us. Often, we are so preoccupied with our own thoughts about what we are seeing or listening to, we neglect to notice and process what is going on emotionally, physically and spiritually with the other person. We express ourselves to share how we feel or what we think about something; so what can we do to ensure that the other person truly “gets” what we have just communicated?

Hypnotherapist Dr. Alex G. Kappas, Ph.D., used to say: “I know you believe you think you understand what I have just said; but I am not sure that what you heard is not what I meant.” In other words, we tend to “hear” a specific message based on our previous experience and expectations about what we think the other person is (or should be) saying as it fits our (not their) mental script. Then, we get preoccupied thinking about what we should or want to say in response and likely miss the rest of the message. Most of us do this subconsciously from time to time. So, how do we become an active listener?

The answer is simply to listen. Be consciously present in the conversation. Pay attention to each word and each sentence as the other person is speaking. Do you understand what he or she is trying to say? Ask a question, rephrase the statement to check that you are getting the information your companion is trying to share with you. Imagine, visualize, picture or pretend that the only people in the room (or world) at that moment are you and the person you are talking to; actively “tune out” any distractions in your environment, or use those distractions to deepen your level of focus and concentration on the conversation you are in. Turn off/ignore your phone. Do not interrupt your companion while he or she is speaking but wait for a natural ebb or pause in the conversation for your turn to speak.

Sometimes the most important part of talking is actually listening.

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Creating Your Hypnotic “Script”

It goes without saying that each hypnotic script that I create for my clients is unique. It has to be: since each person is idiosyncratic and individual, even similar issues such as the desire to stop smoking, lose weight or increase self-confidence to speak in public will be as unique as the person who is wants to replace or discard an unwanted behavior. Furthermore, the origins of that unwanted behavior or habit will vary as much as each person’s reasons and motivations to change it and the degree of their suggestibility (how they learn). While I have and know many basic hypnotherapeutic “ingredients” to help my clients achieve their specific vocational and avocational self-improvement goal, it is up to me to create the specific “recipe” that will achieve this objective.

I create and tailor hypnotic scripts in a three-part process:

1. First, I actively listen to what the person is telling me/explaining about his or her situation and goals to change a behavior. I will ask questions and even re-state or reframe what the person has said to make sure I understand what is going on.

2. Meanwhile, I will be processing/integrating this information into a basic hypnotic script that I already know is or will be useful to address this issue. Literally hundreds of generic hypnotic scripts exist to address various topics, but each one is not necessarily appropriate for or applicable to every situation.

3. Next, I construct the actual script using the client’s own words (descriptions) about why, how, when, etc., he or she wants to change the unwanted behavior based on his or her suggestibility. If the person is a physical suggestible, I know that the person’s subconscious will understand and process direct and literal suggestions such as, “Your eyes are closing.”) An emotional suggestible client’s subconscious will respond to indirect or metaphoric suggestions, such as “Your eyelids feel heavy.”

Once I choose a working framework for the hypnotic script I will use, I can be somewhat creative with how/when/where I include the client’s specific words or phrases in the suggestions. I may incorporate an imagery exercise or specific elements from a different (albeit related) script to support the hypnotherapy work I am doing with a particular client. For example, I like to include imagery around the color red to reinforce the idea of “stopping” the unwanted behavior (e.g., eating sweets, smoking, nail-biting, etc.) whenever the person sees this color. I can also decide—even at the last second—to not do a particular technique with a client, such as Inner Child work, if I see that the individual is abreacting (negative physical response) to some suggestions, which could indicate that his or her subconscious mind is not ready to accept or process this information.

Basically, during this process I am following jeet kune do creator and martial arts legend Bruce Lee’s advice: “Absorb what is useful. Discard what is not. Add what is uniquely your own.” I take the basic framework of a hypnotherapy process and subtly tailor the script to make it specific and relevant for the client I am working with, based on the fast decisions I must make about which material to use and how and when to use it during the session.