Dealing with Traumatic Memories

 I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 

(This blog was originally posted on April 20, 2016)

 

Photo by Rick Hustead

 

 

“Negative moments get remembered. Traumatic ones get forgotten.”

– Leaving Time, Jodi Picoult

 

 

One of the great things about the mind is its capacity to help us deal with a painful or even traumatic event in our lives. On the one hand, the plasticity of the brain enables us to adapt to an uncomfortable environment and learn lessons from that experience to avoid getting into a similar situation in the future. On the other hand, the mind also naturally knows how to block out and even forget the memory of that event so we can continue to function and fulfill daily activities to facilitate our basic survival. In other words, this kind of case-specific amnesia functions like a life-saving balm.

For example: someone contacts me for hypnotherapy to overcome an intense fear of driving and being in a vehicle following a serious car crash. This person knows the facts about what happened but does not remember anything about the collision or the moments immediately afterward when firefighters had to cut him out of the vehicle with Jaws-of-Life equipment. That is okay. I do not need to know these details to create an effective hypnotic script that will help to increase the client’s comfort and self-confidence while driving or being in a car. In fact, this gap in the client’s conscious awareness of the crash facilitates the physiological and psychological healing process as he works toward achieving the avocational self-improvement goal of being comfortable behind the wheel.

Consequently, I do not use age-regression hypnosis to help a client access a repressed memory following a traumatic event. Doing so would be similar to ripping a scab off of a deep abrasion before the original wound has had a chance to heal. If and when the person is emotionally, physically and even spiritually ready to address what happened, these memories are likely to return organically in spontaneous flashes of recollection or through dreams. If and when that happens, I can use various hypnosis, therapeutic guided imagery and neuro-linguistic programming techniques to help the individual become desensitized to and deal with how these memories and consequences of this event. It may also be necessary to refer the client to a licensed mental-health provider and/or a physician for additional assessment and care if this issue falls outside of the scope of my expertise as a certified hypnotherapist.

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2022

 

 

Eating Disorders Are Not an Extreme Diet

 

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

(This blog was originally posted on June 9, 2016)

Photo by Rick Hustead

 

 

“I have it on very good authority that the quest for perfection our society demands can leave the individual gasping for breath at every turn. This pressure inevitably extends to the way we look. Eating disorders, whether it be anorexia or bulimia, show how an individual can turn the nourishment of the body into a painful attack on themselves.” – Diana, Princess of Wales

 

 

Recently, singer Meghan Trainor took her music label to task for altering her image. Apparently, the company digitally slimmed her waistline in the video of her song, “Me Too.” Trainor was happy and confident with her talent and her body image. Apparently, the record company had a different idea, which is why the tweak was ordered in the first place. Long story short, the video was promptly taken down and replaced with the original version, sans photo-shopped images and exactly how the singer wanted to be presented.

But not everybody has the opportunity or resources (internal or otherwise) to determine how to present herself and be perceived by others. With so many magazines and movies/television programs featuring uber-slim models and actors/actresses, it is not surprising that we integrate the message that this is how they should look. After all, that is the image the media and clothes designers want to promote. NBC’s popular weight-loss program, The Biggest Loser, makes the process of losing weight into a competition. In this case, the “winner” is the person who has dropped the most weight within the duration of the series (just a few months). Is it really surprising when someone takes these popular images and subconscious suggestions about the importance/value of looking like the beautiful people featured in the magazines, to an extreme? Apparently, there are websites devoted to the various ways a person can lose weight—including fasting and purging—and there are various dietary “supplements” available to suppress appetite and facilitate weight loss.

An eating disorder is not an extreme version of a diet or extreme over-eating at a meal. There are three basic categories of eating disorders: anorexia nervosa; bulimia; and compulsive eating. In the context of this essay, I will address just the first two. Each is a very complicated, dangerous condition that can cause severe physiological destruction and even death. The symptoms and etiology (medical/psychiatric origin) of each are addressed in the Diagnostics and Statistic Manual of Mental Disorders, a basic reference guide for various psychiatric disorders. Typically, these conditions are out of scope of my or most other certified hypnotherapists’ professional expertise to address in hypnotherapy. To do so, I would have to receive a referral from the person’s (licensed) medical doctor and/or mental-health worker to work with the individual. Even then, my input as a hypnotherapist would be only to help the client fortify her or his self-confidence and self-esteem and reinforce new healthy-eating behaviors recommended by the person’s medical and psychiatric team. Ultimately, the treatment (management) of anorexia nervosa and bulimia is often a lifelong process which must be done under such medical supervision.

You can watch the late Princess of Wales’s entire speech about eating disorders at, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QqNI9aRUb3k.

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2022

 

When Physical Problems Show Up In Your Handwriting

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 

(This blog was originally posted on May 2, 2017)

 

Photo courtesy of Microsoft

 

 

Handwriting reveals a lot about a person’s behavioral tendencies and attitudes, including propensity for stubbornness or over-analysis, levels of self-esteem and self-confidence, empathy and extroversion/introversion (see my blog titled All About Emotional and Physical Sexuality, Part 1). It can also reveal if the writer is experiencing any physical or emotional issues. When a stick-figure “body” is drawn over a letter, the body-part that is affected will show up as a weak (faint) or wriggling stroke or line in the corresponding area of the letter. For example, when my former editor had appendicitis, the lower-right quadrant of all of the oval letters in his writing—o, a, b, g, p—were faint or had a tiny gap, until after his surgery and he was healed.  A potential problem may also be reflected if the corresponding area of the letter is very thick and/or has a trailing line (end-stroke).

In accordance with the California Business and Professions Code 2908, if a client mentions a symptom or behavior that is out of my scope of expertise as a certified hypnotherapist I always refer the person to a licensed medical or mental health professional for further evaluation. I do not use handwriting analysis to diagnose medical or mental-health issues and always defer to the expertise of the professionals in those fields to provide diagnostic and continuing care.

That being said, following are some examples of how a physiological or psychological issue may be revealed in a handwriting sample:

•        If the person has a problem with the feet or legs, the writing will show a break (gap) in the stem or at the bottom of a loop. Weakness in the upper or lower torso will be reflected in a corresponding break in the upper- or lower-middle part of the loop, etc.
•        Affecting words or symptoms of a specific disease, such as cancer or arthritis, will be written at a downward angle (baseline slant). This indicates that the person is trying to get rid of an illness or condition. Negativity and pessimism are also manifested in downward-angle writing.
•        The tendency to squeeze letters in a word close together, presence of a checkmark (√) at the base of the stem and has a weak/faint “i” in the writing suggests that person is holding back sexually.
•        Emotional/Psychological problems are revealed in openings (gaps) at the bottom of a letter—especially an “o” and an “a”—which indicate incongruent behavior.

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2022

 

 

 

Slow Down to Speed Up

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

(This blog was originally posted on September 28, 2014)

Image courtesy of Microsoft/Bing

 

 

Have you ever noticed how it takes twice as long to complete a task when you rush to get it done? Whether it is finishing a homework assignment or a big project for work, somehow something goes wrong at the last, worst possible moment and totally messes up your projected deadline. What if you could avoid all that hassle in the first place and meet your deadline with time to spare?

The Automobile Association of America has a great television advertisement that perfectly illustrated this point. In it, someone in a flashy car speeds past another vehicle. At first, it seems like the driver in the second car gets ahead, but then he is stopped at an intersection with the driver in the original car waiting for the light to change. This pattern is repeated the same way several more times until the message becomes clear: driving fast and recklessly doesn’t get anyone ahead; in fact, it may cause more inconvenience (and waste more gas) than the apparent rush is worth. Similarly, in an episode of the police drama, Rookie Blue, one of the characters reminded an officer he had trained why he once insisted she take a sip of coffee or a bite of her sandwich before getting out of the squad car. Sergeant Shaw wanted her to take those extra couple of seconds so the other officer could mentally prepare herself for dealing with regardless of the situation she would be facing outside. The crime scene would still be there, he explained, but the officer needed to calm down and plan what she needed to do to apprehend the suspect or else risk getting seriously hurt or even killed making the arrest.

Often, when we are under pressure to complete a task, we rush through or even skip important steps so we can get the job out of the way and move onto other more interesting or “fun” things. Monty Roberts, an award-winning horse trainer and author, often advises: “Give yourself fifteen minutes and it will take an hour; give yourself an hour and it will take fifteen minutes.” In other words, when we work carefully and conscientiously—focusing only on the task at hand—we are in a better position to get the job done quickly and usually on the first try. However, when we rush through the job to meet a self-imposed or official deadline, we are more likely to neglect important steps to complete the task which may ultimately undermine it.

An unintentional byproduct of rushing to complete a task is that we can put ourselves into hypnosis. Consider John G. Kappas, Ph.D.’s definition of hypnosis: “Hypnosis is created by an overload of message units, disorganizing our inhibitory process (Critical Mind), triggering our fight-flight mechanism and ultimately resulting in a hyper-suggestible state, providing access to the subconscious mind.” When we rush around trying to meet a deadline, our minds are already whirling practically out of control as we consider what we need to get done and if/how many steps we can get away with “leaving out.” Even if we do not intend to take a short-cut to finish the task, in this naturally induced hypnotic state we may neglect an important step because our subconscious (not conscious) mind has taken over the behavior. We have literally “escaped” into hypnosis to avoid the anxiety and stress we feel trying to complete that project.

Unfortunately, the stress we consciously and subconsciously tried so hard to reduce or avoid is likely to reappear, and be even more intense, when we rush to just “get it done.” When we take those extra few seconds or even an entire hour, at the end of the day the fastest way to accomplish a goal is to slow down.

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2022

  

Hypnotherapy and Negative Self-Perceptions

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

(This blog was originally posted on February 1, 2016)

Photo by Rick Hustead

 

 

"People are constantly changing and growing. Do not cling to a limited, disconnected, negative image of a person in the past." – Brian Weiss

 

 

When I saw that quote on a Twitter feed, I knew I had found my blog topic for the day. In addition to holding onto an outdated image of others, we often carry around the baggage of similarly disconnected and negative images of ourselves. The longer you held that perception, the more time your subconscious mind was bombarded with chatter to reinforce that negative opinion of yourself. Ironically, you may be the only person who continues to see yourself in that old light; but other people’s perceptions alone are not powerful enough to not persuade the subconscious mind to change a long-held belief about personal worth. No matter how much work you have put into changing or getting rid of an unwanted habit or belief, it can seem really tough to completely evict the negative perception about yourself that went along with that old behavior.

But tough is not impossible, and hypnotherapy is a very effective way to dismantle the subconscious mental scripts that no longer reflect the person you are and want to be.

A lot of these negative belief systems about perceived futility of change come from and are reinforced by low self-esteem and low self-confidence. If the person believes that he or she has or can never make a positive life change, lack of experience in actualizing a previous change in behavior only reinforces this negative belief system. Through hypnosis and therapeutic guided imagery, I help my clients imagine how it feels to be able to completely and effectively make the new, desired behavior changes. Since the subconscious mind does not know the difference between what is reality or pretend, it is ideal to practice and reinforce these new behaviors while in hypnosis, where a new positive mental script can be written.

Hypnotherapy and therapeutic guided-imagery techniques are also effective tools to further dismantle the former negative beliefs and replacing them with powerful new mental scripts to reinforce the client’s self-power, confidence and willingness to embrace the desired behavior change. Every time you “practice” the new desired behavior, confidence in your ability to make the desired change continues to grow and the realization that self-directed change is possible further increases self-esteem. Over time, repeated reinforcement of the new subconscious mental script—“I can do X, I am worthy, etc.”—replaces the negativity and self-doubt until you also believe that your power to change and the changes you have made are here to stay.

 

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2022

 

Emotional & Physical Sexual Personality Examples in Popular Songs

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 

(This blog was originally posted on May 1, 2018)

Photo by Rick Hustead

 

 The cornerstone of Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D.’s hypnotherapy practice is his concept of Emotional and Physical Sexuality.  In my blog titled, All About Emotional and Physical Sexuality, Part 1, I described the characteristics of these personalities and the importance of knowing a client’s sexual personality as a way to understand, predict and even mold his or her behavior. I provided more information about each personality—in particular, their priorities and goals in the context of a romantic (sexual) relationship—in the follow-up blog titled All About Emotional and Physical Sexuality, Part 2. In today’s blog I will present relationship perspectives in three songs (“scenarios”) that may give you a lyrical insight about how Emotional Sexuals and Physical Sexuals might behave at the end of a relationship.

·        “Buy Me a Rose,” by Kenny Rogers. In this song, Kenny Rogers represents the Emotional Sexual partner in a relationship. Remember, an Emotional Sexual generally does not feel comfortable expressing his feelings for a lover or spouse (the same is true for Emotional Sexual women). Consistent with this personality, he shows the love he feels for his wife by working hard to provide a good home and lifestyle for her. Since an Emotional Sexual’s core values are financial security/work; hobbies; friends and family; and the relationship, in his mind the relationship is going great because he is providing for her so well. However, since he does not verbalize his emotions or even show affection by calling her from work to say hello/I love you, or even bring her flowers from time to time, their marriage is not really so great.

·        “Wrecking Ball,” by Miley Cyrus. Sung from the post-breakup perspective, the lyrics describe a post-mortem of all the extreme and excessive clinging behaviors with which a Physical Sexual overwhelms and often alienates her Emotional Sexual lover.  For example, when Cyrus describes how she “came in like a wrecking ball”—full of emotion and demanding attempts to get closer to her partner—you can almost imagine a hurricane-force ball of energy hurling at you. Meanwhile, the other partner keeps pulling away from her until she is burning with rejection. The heart-breaking line in the bridge of the song is when she concedes, “Instead of using force/I guess I should have let you in.” If she had taken a step (or several) back and given him some space—the metaphoric “Twinkie”—the relationship might not have imploded. (Although this song is sung by a woman/her perspective, it is also applicable to a Physical Sexual man in a similar situation.)

·        “Just Give me a Reason,” by Pink featuring Nate Ruess. For me, this song represents the dynamics and communication (or miscommunication) between Physical Sexual and Emotional Sexual partners as their relationship starts to unravel. The lyrics trace the trajectory of their early attraction in the romance to a plateau stage in the relationship, where the passion and urgency of new love has worn off. The Physical Sexual female notices that her partner is talking in his sleep and no longer seems as attentive or interested in her compared to what is going on in his life. Meanwhile, the Emotional Sexual male is confused about her insecurity about their relationship: “Your head is running wild again/my dear we still have everythin’.” As the title of this song suggests, the outlook for this couple seems bright, though, because both partners want to work through their insecurities and misunderstandings to save the relationship.

Although the three songs I have chosen for this essay seem to emphasize stereotypical male/female roles, it is important to note that Dr. Kappas’s theory of Emotional and Physical Sexuality is not based on male/female behaviors. A man can be a Physical Sexual and a woman can be an Emotional Sexual. For example, in her hit “Ex’s and Oh’s,” singer Elle King is the Emotional Sexual partner whose (Physical Sexual) lovers are pining and cursing her name after she ends the relationship.

 This is also a sliding scale, so no one will be 100 percent Emotional Sexual or 100 percent Physical Sexual. Rather, we each possess characteristics of both personalities but tend to be more “dominant” in one or the other category.

For fun, consider the lyrics of your favorite relationship song in the context of Emotional and Physical Sexual personality. You may find an entirely new perspective or understanding of the song.

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2022

Suggestions of a Scent

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

(This blog was originally posted on February 3, 2015)

Photo by Rick Hustead

              

After the New Year I typically do an early “Spring Cleaning” in which I donate clothes or other items that I no longer use to make room for new items I received as gifts over the holidays. When I started sorting this year, I came across some old bottles of perfume that I hadn’t worn in ages. Curious, I spritzed one of my favorites into the air and inhaled deeply. Of course, the composition of those scents had degraded by now; in their less pure form they were actually more intense. Equally intense was the power of my memories of the emotions I felt back when I used to wear that brand of perfume.

Good days, not-so-good days—it all came flooding back in a rush. I remembered the friend who introduced me to my former signature scent. Then that recollection reminded me where I was at that time: I was living in a suburb of London and had just started working on my post-graduate degree. In January, it would have been much colder and wetter in London than the current weather in Southern California. In fact, around this time twenty-four years ago, snow fell in Southeast London and blanketed the rooftops and pavements in neighborhood for several days….

That unexpected trek down memory lane served as a powerful reminder of why I do not wear perfume or use scented candles or incense when I work with hypnotherapy clients. Olfaction (sense of smell) is one of the most powerful triggers of memory and strong, pervasive emotional associations. As I explained in my previous blog titled Anchors, the mind creates a subconscious link or “anchor” between the scent a person perceives and whatever is going on in his or her life at that moment. Even though the details of a specific event will likely fade from the conscious mind over time, exposure to a scent or odor can trigger an unexpected memory that the subconscious mind associates with that moment in time.

Part of my work as their hypnotherapist entails helping my clients to create new, positive associations that will facilitate the achievement of their self-improvement goals. Therefore, it is important that minimize the possibility that something about me will unintentionally create or trigger a subconscious association between me and a previous, unwanted behavior that could impede the therapeutic process.

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit my website. 

© 2022