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Wednesday, October 7, 2020

Dressing the Part

To minimize risk of exposure to and spread of the COVID-19 virus, I am temporarily suspending in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, Skype and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE!

(This blog was originally posted on December 28, 2014)

Photo by Rick Hustead

Whenever I have to get something done, I dress the part. When I was working as a magazine editor, I wore a suit to work just about every day. I don’t know why I started doing that. Perhaps it was because, having just returned from England after living abroad for seven years, I was used to seeing professional people looking like they had somewhere important to go. Monday through Friday, on the London Underground, at bus stations and walking around the city, everyone looked so chic. (Of course, people dressed the part in Los Angeles, too; but since most people drove cars out here it was hard to know how they really looked from outside the vehicle.) But I also discovered that it was easier for me to get and maintain that mind-set for my work throughout the day.

My days as a magazine editor are long over, but I continue to dress for whatever part or role I am playing on a given day. If am going to give a presentation about hypnotherapy or work with my hypnotherapy clients, I wear business attire. If I am going out to the barn to ride my horse or just hang out with him and do chores around the barn, I put on my “horse clothes”: i.e., britches, shirt or sweater, half-chaps, Mountain Horse Jod boots. Right before I get on Galahad, I am also wearing gloves and my Troxel riding helmet. If I am competing in a horse show, I wear specific riding gear for that: white britches, white blouse and stock tie, black dressage coat and my tall dressage boots—plus white leather gloves, hair-net and stock pin. If I am going out for the evening, I wear appropriate attire for whatever the activity or event I am attending.

Finally, dressing the part helps to increase my self-confidence in my ability to do whatever task is at hand. When I was dressed like an editor—or what I thought an editor should wear—I also looked and acted like an editor. As a hypnotherapist, it is important to me that I can convey a sense of confidence, experience, calm and support to my clients. Sometimes, I also wear a name badge to reinforce this image when I work with someone for the first time. When I’m at the barn, I feel more confident and secure about my activities knowing that I am wearing protective gear that is specifically designed to prevent serious injury if I fall off a horse or get kicked or stepped on.

Guess what? I even put on something that tells me (and my subconscious mind) it’s time to relax and unwind from the stresses of the day when I am just planning to hang out at home reading or watching television. I know that my SCM should “know” how to relax as instinctively as it knows how to do most of the activities I mentioned above. However, sometimes I even have to remind myself that it’s okay to just do one thing (or nothing) at a time. In a way, the clothing functions like the critical area of my subconscious mind, as Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D., described in his Theory of Mind. This is the area of the mind that rejects any unknown or unfamiliar (painful) information for the SCM. So, to put this model into effect, when I am at work seeing a client, my official attire reminds my mind rejects distracting message units about the time I will spend with Galahad later in the day. And when I am with my horse, my riding garments remind me to focus on him.

Especially the boots: they have a reinforced steel toe to protect my feet in case I start thinking about something other than my boy, who likes to remind me where my attention should be focused should it drift away from him.

Special Discount for First Responders

I am currently offering a 25 percent discount off the first hypnotherapy session for all active/retired military personnel and first responders (police, fire-fighters, EMT/paramedics, ambulance personnel, emergency dispatchers, ER doctors, ER nurses) plus $10 off a la carte sessions!*

*This promotion may not be combined with any other offer. It is non-transferable and may not be exchanged for cash. Promotion ends on November 30, 2020

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. In July 2019 and in September 2020 she was voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

Tuesday, October 6, 2020

The Horse as Equine Partner

(This blog was originally posted on May 18, 2011)

Photo by Joyce Williams

I believe that people who train and work with horses should aim to achieve a partnership with their horse. I love the way Monty Roberts and Kelly Marks talk about their “equine partners” when they teach horsemanship and training techniques. My trainers teach every student at the barn to consider and interact with their mount as an equine partner. But, what does this term really mean? What does it mean to be a human partner to your horse?

Enid Bagnold’s classic novel, National Velvet, depicts a teenage Velvet Brown’s bond with a piebald gelding, which she rides to victory in the Grand National horse race. In Walter Farley’s The Black Stallion, Alec Ramsay earns the trust of an Arabian stallion when they are shipwrecked on a deserted island. “The Black” demonstrates his devotion to Alec when he kills a cobra poised to bite the boy; after they are rescued, Alec enlists the help of a former jockey to train them for an important race. Finally, in one of the most exciting scenes in my favorite movie, The Man From Snowy River, Jim Craig’s trusted mount gallops at breakneck speed, headlong down a cliff and over rugged terrain in their quest to round up a herd of wild horses.

Now, consider the horses that you have known in your life: The horse that carried you safely home when you were sure that you were “lost” on the trail. The horse who, even after “dumping” you at that oxer, stood patiently beside you and waited for you to catch your breath (and gathered your pride) before climbing on his back. The horse that braced his body perpendicular to a steep incline, allowing you to pull yourself up the hill by using the reins and his weight as leverage. Finally: The horse that carried you to a first-place win after crossing 100 miles of grueling terrain in an endurance race, or bested the other equine athletes at a three-day, combined-training event. How—or, why—do they do these things for us?

While considering this question, I am reminded of the famous challenge in President Kennedy’s inaugural speech: “Ask not what your country can do for you, but ask what you can do for your country.” I believe that this theme forms the basis of the partnership that is forged between a horse and his rider. Rather than focus on the prize or reward that is being offered at the end of the ride, consider what it takes to achieve that goal.

Spend time watching your horse in pasture and take the time to learn how to communicate and interpret the horse’s body language. Groom him and establish a mutual bond of trust and respect before you even think about climbing onto his back. Rather than jabbing a spur into his side and demanding your horse to go forward, first “ask” him to walk/trot/canter out with gentle aid, such as a cluck or squeeze. Reward the horse with praise and gentle pats when he does what you have asked. When you must correct the horse’s behavior, be firm—but fair: refusing to go forward because he is belligerent is not the same thing as not understanding what you have asked him to do. If your horse spooks at something on a trail or in the arena, help him to build his confidence by remaining patient and calm through the incident. Be an example of bravery as you desensitize him to what has previously startled him. Demonstrate and reinforce your role as herd leader by providing him with food, water, shelter, and time to just be a horse.

As Kelly Marks writes, if you can “be the owner your horse would choose for himself,” he can be a reliable equine partner for you.

Special Discount for First Responders

25 percent discount off the first hypnotherapy session for all active/retired military personnel and first responders (police, fire-fighters, EMT/paramedics, ambulance personnel, emergency dispatchers, ER doctors, ER nurses) plus $10 off a la carte sessions!*

*This promotion may not be combined with any other offer. It is non-transferable and may not be exchanged for cash. Promotion ends on November 30, 2020

Monday, October 5, 2020

Going for a Cause

(This blog was originally posted on May 4, 2014)

Photo by Rick Hustead

At some time in our lives, just about everyone uses a defense mechanism to cope with a stressful or disappointing experience. These strategies can include denial or displacement of the unpleasant emotion, repression of a memory, substance abuse, regressing to an earlier stage of development or even substance dependency. However these behaviors provide only a temporary perception of control over the environment; eventually, we have to deal with and resolve the primary issue that has triggered the defense mechanism in order to achieve personal growth. To be an effective hypnotherapist, I must recognize which one(s) a client may be using, how and why the device is working in this situation, and when it is preventing desired change and personal growth to occur.

According to John Kappas, Ph.D., resistance to changing a behavior is the first stage of effecting this change. “We do things systematically to avoid change,” said the founder of the Hypnosis Motivation Institute. “Change is a threat to the unconscious mind.” To facilitate change in a client’s behavior—such as helping someone to quit smoking or to lose weight—the hypnotherapist must “buy” the person’s symptoms of defensive behavior and provide some symptomatic relief. But for the problem or unwanted behavior to be truly resolved it is often necessary to go for the cause of the conflict or symptom. “The client may be subconsciously protecting [the cause] by employing defense-mechanism devices,” Dr. Kappas explained.

Usually, many factors combine to create the primary issue or problem, and the client is suggestible to those precipitating factors, the hypnotherapist explained. Consequently, the first hypnotherapy session with a client is the most important component of the therapeutic process, because this is the first opportunity to start working with the client’s suggestibility and “suggest” certain changes in behavior. For example, I might work with a client to desensitize the person to the association of smoking a cigarette while drinking an alcoholic beverage before supper. Or, I would create a new association in which a client would “choose” to write about his or her negative emotions in a journal rather than eat a bowl of ice cream when the person felt angry or sad. But these changes in behavior—social drinking and displacing negative emotions through eating—can and will only occur when the client is ready to recognize the relationship between the emotion and behavior.

“You cannot cure a person by telling him what the problem is,” Dr. Kappas said. “Whenever you hit the cause of the problem, symptoms start to disappear. Once you identify and remove the primary cause of the problem, you must alleviate secondary issues.”