Thoughts of the Day

Photo by Sara Fogan

Every now and then I like (and need) to take a few moments and remind myself about what is really important to me, in my life. If you follow me on my Calminsense Hypnotherapy Facebook page you may have seen some of these quotes before on this page, or will in the future. Many of these Quotes of the Day are beautiful examples and illustrations of the work I do as a hypnotherapist, so I will probably draw on them in future essays.

• “In seeking the truth, you have to get both sides of the story.” – Walter Cronkite

• “When the past calls, don't answer. It has nothing new to say.” – Lolly Daskal

• “You don’t drown by falling in the water. You drown by staying there.” – Unknown

• “Sometimes not getting what you want is a great stroke of luck.” – Dalai Lama

• "The most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt with the heart." – Helen Keller

• “Be more excited about what is going to come into your life than sad about what went out.” – Bruce van Horn

• "Tough times never last, but tough people do." – Robert H. Schuller

• “Anything you really want, you can attain, if you really go after it.” – Wayne Dyer

• “Understand that you own nothing. Everything that surrounds you is temporary, only the love in your heart will last forever.” – Leon Brown

• “The world is what you believe it to be. It changes as you change.” – Byron Katie

Special offer for Active/Retired First Responders and Military Personnel

 Special Offer: 25 percent discount off the first hypnotherapy session and 10 percent off subsequent sessions for all active/retired military personnel and first responders (police, fire-fighters, EMT/paramedics, ambulance personnel, emergency dispatchers, E.R. physicians/nurses).

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. In July 2019 she was voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2019

When Denial Causes Sleep Problems

(This blog was originally posted on September 13, 2016)

Photo by Rick Hustead

Have you ever had problems sleeping after ending a romantic relationship? If so, you are not alone. According to Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D., continuing to hold onto the former partner and unresolved grief about the ended relationship is often the cause of this problem. 

Sleeping problems can take the form of interrupted sleep or insomnia. The hypnotherapist deduced that denial of the emotional and even physical pain an individual can experience at the end of a relationship produces this sleep pattern. Indeed, this behavior may be a subconscious defense mechanism to interrupt a dream that would confirm the relationship is really over. “Denial covers up depression, and you’re really covering up depressive sleep,” Dr. Kappas explained.

Sometimes, it is only until some time has passed after a relationship has ended that a person truly realizes that it is over, the hypnotherapist explained. Continuing to “hang onto” an emotional attachment to the former partner inhibits or even prevents going through the grief and depression stages of loss that would facilitate letting go of the relationship. In this situation, the person is likely to get stuck in the denial stage of this process.

“As long as you’re in the denial stage, it’s next to impossible to replace [the lost relationship]. You have to go through the stages of loss in order to go forward and start developing another relationship,” Dr. Kappas said. To facilitate this process, he advised giving a client specific suggestions to have a venting dream that will allow the person to release, or “vent out,” unresolved feelings and work through the end of the former relationship: “You’re going to sleep soundly and deeply throughout the night, and the reason you’re going to sleep soundly and deeply is that you’re going to prepare to let something go. You’ve made a decision that you’re going to relax the denial mechanism on [the specified date].”

Dr. Kappas said it is important to include a specific date by which the client has the venting dream, such as to coincide with the next (follow-up) hypnotherapy session, to start working through the various stages of loss. This process should help reinstate the person’s normal sleeping pattern and come to terms with the end of the previous relationship, he explained.

Special offer for Active/Retired First Responders and Military Personnel

 Special Offer: 25 percent discount off the first hypnotherapy session for all active/retired military personnel and first responders (police, fire-fighters, EMT/paramedics, ambulance personnel, emergency dispatchers, E.R. physicians/nurses).

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. In July 2019 she was voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2019

The Pattern Interrupt

(This blog was previously posted on March 13, 2014)

Image courtesy of Microsoft

The subconscious mind controls almost all of our beliefs and behavior. Therefore, the mental script for an entrenched habit will overpower the conscious mind’s logic, will-power, decision-making and reasoning faculties that want to change this habit every time. When I help a client to change a behavior in hypnotherapy, I utilize a technique called “pattern interrupt.” The purpose of the pattern interrupt is to give the SCM a time out while the individual engages in something completely different for a little while. Through this exercise, the client experiences how it feels to have the power and control to choose whether to engage in an activity that has been controlling his or her life. 

When I work with someone to change a behavior, such as to quit smoking or lose weight, I first ask what specifically triggers the undesired behavior, and how he or she handles this kind of temptation. Next, we discuss options for dealing with the trigger without engaging in the unwanted behavior. It is important that the person comes up with these alternative behaviors in order for the client to remain motivated and enthusiastic about working to achieve his or her goal. The pattern interrupt should be simple and easy to do, whether it is taking ten slow, deep breaths instead of lighting a cigarette; drinking a glass of water instead of a can of soda; take the dog for a walk instead of playing a computer game. I will also reinforce these options as hypnotic suggestions so the subconscious mind will also start to recognize these new activities as “known” behaviors.

Every time you choose to do the replacement activity, even for just a couple of seconds, you are reinforcing a new behavior and creating a new known in the SCM. The great thing about the pattern interrupt is that anyone can do this. You don’t need to be in hypnosis or to have received a post-hypnotic suggestion to substitute an unwanted behavior. When temptation strikes, you just need to do something else for a little while… just long enough for the craving to subside and your subconscious mind to forget, for a little while, that this behavior ever existed, at all.

Special offer for Active/Retired First Responders and Military Personnel

 Special Offer: 25 percent discount off the first hypnotherapy session for all active/retired military personnel and first responders (police, fire-fighters, EMT/paramedics, ambulance personnel, emergency dispatchers, E.R. physicians/nurses).

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. In July 2019 she was voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2019