Hypnotherapy & Erik Erikson's Stages of Development

(This blog was originally posted on February 9, 2016)

Photo by Rick Hustead

According to psychologist Erik Erikson, personality develops throughout a person’s lifetime. In other words, you “become” the person you are, starting from birth until you die. Each stage is characterized or punctuated by a specific goal that you must achieve to progress to the next stage of development. If you do not overcome that challenge, however, you will continue to be affected by the unresolved issue that is associated with the stage of development in which you are stuck.

Dr. John Kappas incorporated Erikson’s Stages of Development into his therapeutic approach. The Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder believed that hypnotherapists must always try to alleviate a client’s presenting issue “symptomatically.” However, if that approach doesn’t work it may be necessary to uncover the cause of the person’s presenting problem.

“Many conditions may be ‘relieved’ later in life if they’re not completed,” Dr. Kappas said. “We always attempt to fulfill what’s missing.” If a client is stuck in one of these stages, the hypnotherapist must explain the stages of development and discuss where/why the conflict arose. It may also be necessary to explore why the stage of development hasn’t been completed, he explained.

However, Dr. Kappas warned that age-regression therapy should not be used to identify the cause of a client’s presenting problem that developed during one of those stages. This technique could inadvertently expose a host of other issues that the person had previously repressed or dealt with, which the hypnotherapist would have to help the individual address all over again. Furthermore, HMI does not endorse age-regression as a form of therapy and legal courts do not admit any evidence obtained using this method.

 The goal of the therapy is to help the client resolve this conflict and set appropriate goals that are appropriate to facilitate progression to the stage of development that is appropriate for the client’s age, he said. Following is a summary of Erikson’s Eight Stages of Development:

Stage 1: Infancy (oral-sensory, birth-1 year). Conflict: trust vs. mistrust. Important event: feeding.

Stage 2: Early Childhood (muscular-anal, 1-3 years). Conflict: autonomy vs. doubt. Important events: Toilet training, suggestibility.

Stage 3: Play Age (locomotor, 3-6 years). Conflict: initiative vs. guilt. Important event: Independence.

Stage 4: School Age (6-12 years). Conflict: industry vs. inferiority (competence). Important event: School.

Stage 5: Puberty and Adolescence (12-18 years). Conflict: identity vs. role confusion. Important event: Peer relationship.

Stage 6: Young Adulthood (19-40 years). Conflict: intimacy/affiliation and love vs. isolation. Important event: Love relationships.

Stage 7: Middle Age (40-65 years). Conflict: generativity vs. stagnation/self-absorption. Important event: parenting.

Stage 8: Later life (Maturity, 65 years to death). Conflict: integrity vs. despair. Reflection on and acceptance of one’s life.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2017

The Origins and Development of Emotional and Physical Sexuality: A Caveat

Photo by Rick Hustead

According to psychologist and hypnotherapist Dr. John Kappas, an individual develops his or her sexual personality by modeling these behaviors of the secondary caretaker, usually dad or another male role model. Indeed, once I know whether my client is an Emotional or Physical Sexual, I have a great picture of how the person’s parents interacted in their relationship. This model is so accurate that I can usually correctly identify who was the primary earner and who tended to make the first move toward reconciliation after an argument or fight.

As I explained in a previous blog titled All About Emotional and Physical Sexuality, Part 1, sexual personality is modeled after the secondary caretaker (usually dad or another primary male role model) starting when you are around eight years old. If this person was focused on work and running the household you are likely to adopt these priorities in your life, as well. Conversely, if he spent more time focused on relationships and his hobbies, etc., these will probably become your priorities (core traits), too. However, there are a couple of instances in which this model does not apply.

·         Identity of the secondary caretaker. Although mothers are typically the primary caretaker who assumes most of the day-to-day responsibility of raising a child, sometimes dad or another relative has this role. If the father has the primary-caretaker role, he will model suggestibility and mom (or the other adult) will model the sexual personality. This pattern is also applicable if the child has two moms or two dads, etc.

·         Stage of your parents’ relationship. Emotional expression between partners tends to ebb and flow depending on where the couple is in their relationship. For example, during the honeymoon stage both individual are more affectionate and participate more in each other’s hobbies and family activities. A youngster perceives and processes these behaviors as a subconscious known and begins to model them. Conversely, if this role model is focused on earning an income or developing his career or business, the child is likely to develop similar priorities.

·         Birth order. This category also reflects the stage of the parents’ relationship in that experience raising a child may make the parents more or less relaxed about being a parent during your upbringing. If you are the first child and were born very early in your parent’s relationship/marriage, the secondary caretaker may be more focused on securing the family’s financial stability. Younger children may have a different relationship with their parents who feel more relaxed and comfortable in their role after nurturing other kids. In this case, the way your parents communicated and interacted with you as a young child will also affect which traits and core values you integrate in your own behavior.

·         No interaction with the secondary caretaker. Finally, little or no interaction with a secondary caretaker between ages eight to 14 years old, or a difficult relationship with that person, can result in modeling the primary caretaker’s sexual personality as well as suggestibility.

For more information about Emotional and Physical sexuality, I invite you to check out my other blogs titled:

·         All About Emotional and Physical Sexuality, Part 1

·         All About Emotional and Physical Sexuality, Part 2

·         All About Emotional and Physical Sexuality, Part 3

·         A Shorthand Guide to E & P Communication

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2017

Mourning for a Pet

Morse (1988-2000)

Pets have an important place in our heart and our lives. They keep our secrets. They provide comfort when we are sad or frustrated, and listen to our dreams and plans without judgment or prejudice. They are partners in pranks or hijinks. They “babysit” our kids and provide comfort when we don’t feel well. They teach us about responsibility, loyalty and unconditional positive regard. They are often considered part of the family, a four-legged “kid” or sibling. And, eventually but way too soon, they teach us about grief and loss.

It is natural to mourn when a pet or animal companion dies. In addition to the sorrow of losing such an important emotional bond, we also lose a self-identified role as the guardian or pet-parent. During its lifetime we provided food, water and shelter. We are willing to spend hours canvassing the neighborhood at any time of day or night and in any weather looking for our lost dog, cat, horse, etc. We decide where we will live or are willing to move depending on the pets-clause in the lease. We invest money (sometimes a lot of it) in its veterinary care and medical/liability insurance. We learn how to administer oral medications and even do insulin injections if this becomes necessary. Ultimately we often have to make that incredibly difficult decision to end our beloved animal’s suffering by ending its life.

As a fellow animal lover, I know how hard the death of a beloved pet can be. I am here to help you work through your grief and the related changes in your life that are going on right now. As a certified hypnotherapist, I offer hypnosis and/or therapeutic guided-imagery techniques that can provide the gentle, emotional healing you need right now. All of my sessions are private and confidential, and I can work with you at my office in Santa Clarita or via Skype. I am currently offering a 10 percent discount on all pet-bereavement hypnotherapy sessions, valid through March 31, 2017. (This offer may not be applied to any other offer and is not exchangeable for cash.)

To set up an appointment, please call me at (661) 433-9430 or send e-mail to calminsensehypnosis@yahoo.com.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2017