Thoughts of the Day

Photo by Sara Fogan

      Every now and then I like (and need) to take a few moments and remind myself about what is really important to me, in my life. If you follow me on my Calminsense Hypnotherapy Facebook page you may have seen some of these quotes before on this page, or will in the future. Many of these Quotes of the Day are beautiful examples and illustrations of the work I do as a hypnotherapist, so I will probably draw on them in future essays.

• “Only the wisest and stupidest of men never change.” – Confucius

• “Why worry? If you’ve done the very best you can, worrying won’t make it better.” – Walt Disney

• “Energy flows where attention goes.” – Michael Bernard Beckwith

• “Be not afraid of going slowly; be afraid only of standing still.” – Chinese Proverb

• “Go out on a limb. That’s where the fruit is.” – Roy Rogers

• “Have more than you show, speak less than you know.” – William Shakespeare

• “Everyone comes into your life for a reason, some for good or bad, they may shape us, break us, but in the end they make us who we are.” – Poppy Mathobela

• “There's no scarcity of opportunity to make a living at what you love. There is only a scarcity of resolve to make it happen.” – Wayne Dyer

• “If you're determined to stand, nothing can move you. If you're determined to move, nothing can stop you.” – Lolly Daskal

• “Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.” – Albert Einstein

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2017     

Have a Nice Day!

(This blog was originally posted on January 25, 2016)

“When the world gets in my way I say, ‘Have a nice day!’” – Bon Jovi

Image courtesy of Microsoft

What do you do when everything seems to go wrong in your day? I pondered this question while driving home from the barn this afternoon when “Have a Nice Day” by Bon Jovi came up on my playlist. It is so easy to internalize the frustration and run the unending loop of self-recrimination or to blame others when a plan doesn’t work out the way we plan or want it to.

Some people yell. Others get in their car and take a fast (and sometimes reckless) drive in the hope of blowing off some steam. It is always tempting and too easy to channel frustration and take it out on the next person you see, such as give the barista at Starbucks® a hard time for getting your order wrong. It is usually a little more challenging to just let go of your immediate (and usually transitory) angst to focus on what is actually going right in your day.

The late Dr. John Kappas, founder of the Hypnosis Motivation Institute, used to include the following suggestion in many hypnotic scripts: I like it. It was (and is) a great motivator when you are learning a new behavior, such as politely refusing dessert after a meal to comply with your weight-loss program. Even when something “goes wrong” or does not fulfill your expectations or desires, this simple suggestion enables you to open your eyes to the opportunities this inconvenience could yield. So, you burned the special meal you spent all day preparing for that special someone? Yes, that is inconvenient and frustrating. However, Dr. Kappas’s suggestion facilitated a new attitude and ability to see an opportunity in the experience—a shared laugh or maybe even an impromptu, very romantic picnic of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on the living-room floor.

So, someone cut you off on the freeway and prevented you from getting off the highway at your intended exit? Once again, this new attitude of “liking it” enables you to pass the negative emotion (frustration) and continue on your way. Who knows, your unintended detour might steer you clear of a traffic jam further up the road on your intended route that might have also added even more time to your original journey.

Many of us have experienced a situation in which someone seems to be taking out his or her frustrations on us. This person hasn’t learned the power of Dr. Kappas’s nifty little trick of “liking it” and instead tries to feel better by making things more difficult or awkward for others. That’s okay. You can still turn the potentially unpleasant situation around by reminding yourself that you like what is happening because it the situation is giving you a new perspective/experience that you can learn and grow from. Then, as Bon Jovi does in their hit song titled Have a Nice Day, politely tell the person to have a nice day and walk away. It is impossible to experience two opposite emotions at the same time: e.g., anxiety versus relaxation, frustration versus optimism. Ultimately, saying and believing “I like it!” and expressing a positive outlook and sentiments for others enables you to improve the situation for yourself by finding opportunities where someone else may only see obstacles.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2017

 

Earth as Metaphor

Photo by Rick Hustead

The metaphor of earth—and Earth, the planet we live on—are also useful images in hypnotherapy. 

In addition to providing stability under our feet and the ground we stand on, earth also represents growth, fecundity and prosperity. For example, trees, grass, vegetable crops, etc., grow in and from the earth. When the rich soil is rich, it provides the nutrients they need to create and grow sources of nutrition that humans and other animals need to survive. When the soil is arid, however, such growth is more difficult and may result in starvation or at least, deprivation.

Earth also represents strength and power. Consider the force produced when tectonic plates several miles below our feet move: Just a shift of one or two inches up, down, right or left creates a ripple effect that can be felt around the world as a powerful earthquake. Similarly, when a significant event happens in our own lives we might use this earthquake metaphor to describe how it felt as though “the earth moved” when it occurred. Or, when we are willing or have expended significant effort to achieve a goal or accomplish a particularly daunting task, another popular earth metaphor comes to mind: “It felt like I had to move mountains/draw water from a stone, but I got it done!”

And then there are those times when we take on more jobs or responsibilities that we are not physically or emotionally equipped to handle at that moment. In our willingness to appear flexible and accommodating, the subconscious mind absorbs more and more pressures and stresses without expressing the discomfort that are actually, silently building up. Suddenly and to even our own surprise, that final small request to do something that we would not even notice or even register as an inconvenience becomes that final pound of pressure that releases a cascade of pent-up emotions in a potentially damaging outburst. After the dust has settled we are left wondering what happened and what could have been different had we addressed the first, second or even third issue before the compound weight of those pressures became so overwhelming. Perhaps that earth-shaking emotional outburst was needed to effect change, anyway.

Finally, there is the metaphor of the planet Earth, the person/place/profession or any other metaphoric center of our world. How often do we put the greatest importance or value on something or someone other than ourselves and our own well-being? Learning to appreciate, love and respect ourselves the way we deserve to be appreciated, loved and respected often produces the greatest (emotional) tectonic shift of all. The ability to incorporate all of these aspects of positive self-regard requires a solid foundation of personal awareness that hypnotherapy can help everyone realize, actualize and reinforce in our daily lives.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy®, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2017

Water as Metaphor

Photo by Rick Hustead

I use a lot of different metaphors when I work with my hypnotherapy clients, but water imagery is probably my favorite. Let me tell you why.

As one of the four elements (earth, air and fire being the other three), water has great transformative power. Water gives and supports life as embryonic fluid and also comprises the fluid all life requires to survive. Of course, there is also a destructive aspect of this substance: Just three inches of fast-moving water can displace heavy objects such as boulders, cars, even slabs of earth. It can smooth pebbles or destroy crops/landscape/property. The devastating tsunamis in 2004 (Indian Ocean earthquake and tsunami) and 2011 (Great Sendal Earthquake, Japan) took lives. 

But water can also heal. It washes away dirt and detritus from a wound. It provides refreshment, it cleans and cleanses. The sound of raindrops tapping on tree leaves or a roof during a summer rainstorm, or that of a babbling brook or ocean waves moving in and out on a tide, can bring great relaxation and comfort. A body of still water can provide an opportunity for reflection (metaphoric and literal) or exercise, for swimming.

My favorite metaphors of water feature its restorative/transformative powers. When it is heated, the water droplets become vapor (air). When it is frozen, it becomes solid as the ground even though the slippery characteristic of ice makes its surface much more difficult (but not impossible) to stand on. And when water is in its original liquid form, it can take the shape of any container or environment in which it is held. That is what I love most about water as a metaphor: it speaks to the part of and in us all that is capable of adaptation, change and transformation depending on the situation in which we find ourselves.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy®, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2017