Don't Pack More Than You Can Carry

(This blog was originally posted on February 6, 2014)

 

 

 

Photo courtesy of Microsoft

 

 

As I have mentioned in my blog titled Dream Therapy, Part 1, it is very important to devote some time every day to relaxation and chilling out. Your conscious mind and physical body need down time the same way your subconscious mind needs REM sleep and dreams to process information and work through stress while you sleep. With a blast of summer-like weather hitting Southern California, many Los Angeles residents will likely head out to the beach to take advantage of the unseasonably warm weather. Others may opt to take a “staycation” and spend quality time at home with friends and family. And still others may choose to take the next few days to spend quality time alone, going to a health spa to meditate and recharge their emotional batteries.

While you prepare for the weekend, consider which items you absolutely need and want to bring with you and those you can (and should) leave behind. Plane/train/boat tickets, money and I.D., change(s) of clothes, toothbrush and toothpaste are obvious items you will need to bring along. If you plan to go water-skiing or surfing, you will probably also want to pack your sports gear for the trip, too. Just as there is limited carrying space in a suitcase, the trunk of your car and in the storage compartments of airplanes, trains and tour buses, I believe that there should also be limited room for the mental scripts that you bring to spend the weekend. “Necessary” items to include in this kind of subconscious mental script are: positive emotions and energy about the trip, optimism and alternative strategies or options if you must make an unexpected change of plan. What you do not need to bring on your trip are negative memories/associations with your travel destination and negative emotions (e.g., frustration, pessimism, etc.). If possible, you should leave your job at home, too.

If you have any anxiety about or negative associations with your vacation destination—for example, if you haven’t been in the ocean since you got caught in a rip current ten years ago—check out my suggestions for increasing self-confidence in my blog titled, When Self-Confidence Is on Thin Ice. I also provide a generic breathing and relaxation exercise in my blog titled, Breath Control: Here, I teach you an effective technique to replace negative associations with positive ones as you exhale and inhale your breath, respectively.

                I hope you have a wonderful and safe weekend, wherever you go and however you spend it.

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2015

Blocks and Opportunities

Photo courtesy of Microsoft/Bing

I recently came across the following quote from One Fit Widow, which a friend had pasted onto my Facebook page: “If it doesn’t open, it’s not your door.” How many times have experienced this philosophy? I wondered.

How many times have you experienced it?

One of my favorite lines in The Sound of Music is when Maria (Julie Andrews) says, “Wherever the Lord shuts a door somewhere He opens a window.” A more recent example comes from Katy Perry’s hit song, Firework: “Maybe your reason why all the doors are closed so you could open one that leads you to the perfect road.” Both are examples of such an optimistic, encouraging and hopeful philosophy that everything will work out in the end. I completely believe that it is true; however, there are often times in our lives when we have reason to seriously doubt that our desired outcome can or will ever be achieved. What do we do, then?

When I was applying to different universities to pursue my post-graduate degree, my academic advisor told me something very important: “If one of these colleges rejects your application, it might be because they are not a good fit for you.” I invite you to think about that concept for a moment. Her words echo the common break-up platitude, “It’s not you; it’s me.” But, why shouldn’t that be true? Over the years this insight has proved to be very sage counsel in various situations.

Whether we’re trying to land that dream job, be accepted to our first-choice college or join that super-cool group of kids at school, sometimes there isn’t a comfortable fit between all parties. Furthermore, no matter how hard we work to try and fit in with a certain group or organization, there may still be friction, frustration and disappointment. Too often, our first reaction/thought when something goes wrong in or with our conscious mind’s Great Plan is to blame ourselves for the perceived failure to achieve that very-important goal. We ask ourselves over and over again, “What did I do wrong? Why doesn’t he/she like me? What else can I do to fit in?” The situation quickly embodies that proverbial attempt to fit a square peg into a round hole.

The key to finding the perfect fit is to reframe the question—“Which one of those doors is mine to walk through?”—and be able to recognize it when that opportunity presents itself to you. Hypnotherapy and therapeutic guided imagery are great tools to help you let go of goals or situations that haven’t worked for you while becoming open to the right opportunities for you that are coming your way. During your sessions, I will teach you simple breathing and relaxation exercises that you can use to reduce stress and create a personalized hypnotic script to reinforce specific suggestions for creating opportunities to achieve your goal that are perfect for you. I will also provide a recording of your hypnosis session that you can listen to and reinforce the relaxation techniques and goal-actualization strategies that we worked on during your hypnotherapy session.

And as for being able to recognize the “right” door for you… Don’t worry: You will. Because when that relationship does work—when your first-choice (or even second- or third-choice) college sends you that long-awaited acceptance letter and enrollment packet, or you are offered that “dream job”—you will notice how easily everything falls into place. Suddenly all of the details surrounding your situation look and feels indescribably right from every angle. You find that your path forward is easy and opening up more opportunities to you. The best part of this journey is noticing how you can now look back at those days, weeks or even years of waiting for that golden opportunity with affection. You may even find that you appreciate the work, patience and frustration you experienced during that time of waiting and supposed “missed opportunities” because these are what enabled that proverbial window or door to open for you.

 

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2015

 

 

Break Old Habits...With Hypnotherapy!

(This blog was originally posted on January 24, 2014)

 

 



Photo courtesy of Microsoft

 

     Habits have a way of taking a toll on our lifestyles. The good news is that it is possible to change these behaviors. Hypnotherapy can help you replace the subconscious mental script that you currently follow (the habit you want to dump) with one that you design to help you to live the life you want to lead.

     According to Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder, John Kappas, Ph.D.'s Theory of Mind, the only two things humans “know” from birth is to react to a fear of loud noises and to react to a fear of falling. Everything else is a learned behavior or belief. The good news since you , it is have learned to do something it is possible to unlearn it—even those things you have been doing “forever” such as put off doing homework or projects until the last minute, smoke a pack of cigarettes a day, bite your nails or eat a pint of ice cream before going to bed. So long as you are motivated to change these behaviors, through hypnosis and hypnotherapy, I can help you construct a new script or “game plan” to achieve your goal.

     As a certified hypnotherapist, I may work with you to achieve a variety of vocational and avocational self-improvement goals (see the Appendix page on my website for a complete list of these topics). During the course of the hypnotherapy, I use guided imagery and Neuro-Linguistic Programming techniques to help my clients find solutions and strategies to replace their unwanted habit and increase their self-confidence to make these behavior changes. Each solution is necessarily unique to each client, because it comes directly from that person’s subconscious mind, via hypnosis.

     And I will be there to motivate and support you as you let go of unwanted beliefs and behaviors to embark on your new life, unencumbered by old habits that used to weigh you down.

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2015

 

Law of Reverse Action

Photo courtesy of Microsoft Bing

 

During a typical hypnotherapy session, I reinforce hypnotic suggestions in various ways during the hour or so I spend working with a client. An effective way to strengthen the message of the suggestion is to employ the Law of Reverse Action or misdirection.

You might already recognize a common, colloquial example of this law: someone tells you not to think about pink elephants anymore, at which point you can’t help yourself but think about that subject. This occurs because “pink elephants” is the stronger part of the command than “not to think about.” (How can you not think about a pink elephant when that image is suggested to the mind?)

In a therapeutic context, the hypnotherapist might suggest that someone who suffers from a fear of public speaking imagines being in a situation in which he or she must make a speech and try bring up that fear. Meanwhile, the hypnotherapist would repeat the suggestion that the harder the person tries to actually bring up that fear response, the more relaxed he or she actually feels. In this case, becoming relaxed is the more powerful suggestion than “trying to” bring up the negative response.

 

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2015

 

The Horse as Equine Teacher

(This blog was originally posted on April 23, 2011)

Photo by Rick Hustead

 

        No matter how long we have been riding or handling horses, each one has something to teach us. For many people, the first horse they ever ride is an old hand on the ranch. Whether he is a veteran trail horse—one of many in a riding string at camp—or a “schoolmaster” at a riding academy, he has been around. He knows his “stuff,” and his handlers expect him to give their clients a safe ride. The obstreperous pony that “ran away” with you is probably the one that taught you how to ride. He gave you the confidence to know that even a fast horse eventually stops—and sometimes it’s fun to ride fast. Many retired show horses have carried Grand Prix and Olympian riders over their first, small cross-rail.

        When I started riding (again) in 2003, I had not been on a horse for more than nineteen years. I took lessons on—and then bought—a schooling horse. Geeves was being used in jumping lessons; in fact, a friend recently told me that he was the horse that taught her “the finer points of jumping.” When he became my horse, we trained in dressage. This discipline was new to both of us, but he was a true professor when it came to teaching me how to ride. If I applied an aid incorrectly, my horse would not change his gait until I asked the right question. In the eight years or so that we were together, Geeves taught me a lot about caring for, handling, and riding a horse. He helped me to gain self-confidence and to become more assertive; he taught me to be a better rider and a more sensitive horsewoman.

        Horses teach people how to interact with them. For example, in his book, The Man Who Listens to Horses, Monty Roberts describes the long hours he spent observing wild horses in their natural environment. From these observations, he developed the Join-Up program, with which he has used to communicate, gentle and train thousands of horses.

        They have a lot to teach veterinarians, too. When champion race horse Barbaro broke down during the Preakness Stakes in 2006, Dr. Dean Richardson and his veterinary team at New Bolton Center worked hard to save the Kentucky Derby 132 champion. Ultimately, Barbaro developed laminitis in two of his hoofs and he was humanely euthanized. However, the time that the veterinary team spent treating his injuries and trying to rehabilitate the colt has provided new insights and knowledge about how to treat laminitis.

        All over the country, horses are being used in therapeutic settings to help children and adults with mental, physical, or emotional disabilities to gain self-confidence, increase motivation, and improve mobility. They are also employed to help injured military veterans overcome post-traumatic stress disorder. Without even “saying” a word, these majestic animals—often ten to twenty times bigger than their human partners—have something to teach us.

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2015

 

 

A Question of Suggestibility in Mutts© Cartoons

 

 

On December 27, 2014 I re-posted a blog in which I described different types of suggestibility: Physical (direct and literal) and Emotional (inference and reference). As I explained in that essay, one of the first questions I typically ask a new client is, “Would you please tell me your name?” as a way to get an idea of the person’s suggestibility. When Mutts© comic Patrick McDonnell posted a similar (theme) question in his March 1, 2015 comic strip, I quickly realized that the way the question was asked would influence the response. Furthermore, the potential for miscommunication and misunderstanding was rife on both sides of the dialog.

In the cartoon, a cat named “Mooch” asked his buddy, a dog called “Earl,” to tell him what day it is. Earl responds by saying “March First,” at which point Mooch is shown marching back and forth for several frames before stopping and telling his friend, “Now tell me.”

When I first read it I thought this was an excellent example of John Kappas, Ph.D.’s model of the Theory of Mind and suggestibility. After all, one character asks what seems to be a very simple and direct question and receives an equally simple and direct answer. But then it appears that he infers an instruction in the response—“March, first” (and then I’ll tell you)—rather than interpret his friend’s answer as the date.

But when I re-read the cartoon I started to wonder: What if Mooch was literally asking what day of the week it was and not the date? In that case, Earl would have been the emotional suggestible individual who (incorrectly) inferred that his friend wanted to know the date.

In Kappasinian hypnotherapy, there are two basic kinds of suggestibility:

·         Physical:   Literal and direct. “Yes”/ “No” ([It’s] March First.)

·         Emotional:            Inference and metaphor (looking for the meaning behind the words). You want me to march around for a little while and then you will tell me what day it is.

However, suggestibility also runs along a spectrum that is not determined by gender or sexuality. While you may possess more “physical” than “emotional” suggestibility traits, you will still retain some characteristics of the subdominant suggestibility types, the Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder explained. That is why, whenever I create hypnotic scripts for my clients, I always use their words to describe their goals, motivations for achieving that goal, emotions surrounding it, etc. Your suggestibility will determine which words/phrases I use during your hypnotherapy session. For example, if you are a Physical Suggestible, and you are working with me to help you relax I will tailor the hypnotic script to include direct and literal suggestions/imagery: “relaxing.” If you are an Emotional Suggestible, I will use the metaphors and inferential imagery that represents relaxation to you: e.g., “calm, comfort” or even a nature scene that represents relaxation to you.

Now I just want to figure out what Mooch really wanted to know: The day of the week or the calendar date!

 

 

 Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy®, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

 

 

Body, Mind, Wellness Fair

 

Other using hypnosis and therapeutic guided imagery to help individuals achieve their self-improvement goals, my next-favorite thing is to explain to people how and why these modalities work. If you are in the neighborhood tomorrow, please stop by my table at College of the Canyons’ Third Annual Body Mind Wellness Healthy Lifestyle’s Resource Fair between 11.30 a.m.-1.30 p.m. on Wednesday, March 5, 2015.

In addition to explaining the many benefits of hypnotherapy to improve well-being, I will also do a mini-handwriting analysis for everyone who stops by to say hi.

The Wellness Fair is being held in the Outdoors Honor Grove at the Valencia campus. For directions and more information about the event, click on this URL: http://www.canyons.edu/Offices/Health/BMW/Documents/SpringFair2015.pdf

I look forward to seeing you there!

 

Sara

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2015