Systems Theory and Weight Loss

In compliance with current WHO and CDC recommendations to minimize risk of exposure to and spread of the COVID-19 virus, I am temporarily suspending in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone and Skype consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

(This blog was originally posted on February 16, 2016)

 

Image courtesy of Microsoft

According to Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D., the most important component of a successful weight-loss program is the hypnotherapy client’s active participation in the process. For example, the person must consistently, regularly write down in a ledger what he or she eats during the day—including the quantity of food ingested. To control eating behaviors, the client should be instructed to always leave 25 percent of the food on the plate.

As long as the person recording these details it is working—even if the weight is not coming off during a plateau stage. “This process is something you’re conscious that you’re going to do,” Dr. Kappas said. “You choose [to do or] not do the ledger.” If the person does not record this information in the ledger and/or does not control eating behaviors, he or she is not ready to do the process and lose weight, he explained.

Another indication that the individual may not be ready to lose the weight is by not showing up for appointments. In this case, it is worthwhile to do a Systems Approach evaluation to find out if relationship or family pressures are inhibiting the weight loss. This may reveal that the client may be gaining weight to preserve the status quo of the marriage or relationship that he or she is already in. When one partner or family member loses weight, the status quo in that relationship naturally undergoes a shift in relation to the client’s perceptions about him- or herself. For example, the client’s spouse may feel subconsciously threatened by the partner’s physical change and concomitant increase in self-confidence, and fear that the client will leave the relationship. The partner’s subconscious goal would be to keep the current “system” in place. To do this the person may try to (again, subconsciously) sabotage the client’s diet by eating forbidden foods (e.g., sweets, pizza, etc.) in front of the person or even offering some to him or her. The spouse’s perception of the client and the “new” relationship is also likely to shift, and the client may even worry that the partner will leave. In an attempt to keep the relationship intact, the client may abandon the weight-loss program, Dr. Kappas explained.

Alternatively, the client may abandon the weight-loss program and gain, or regain, weight as a way to end the relationship with the spouse without feeling guilt. In this case, the client may use weight to “get back at” a partner who says he or she will only return to the relationship once the client loses the weight.

Another possibility is that the client may be trying to make him- or herself unattractive to the partner because there is no sexual activity between them. This is a form of emotional blackmail; in this case, the hypnotherapist must deal with the client in terms of just the weight and not the person’s relationship with the spouse.

Food may also fulfill (gratify) a need that the client has, which the partner is not meeting in the relationship. Finally, weight-gain is also often related to problems or hang-ups with sexuality, which also leads to low self-esteem, Dr. Kappas said.

Emotional issues cause 20-percent of weight problems, said the HMI founder. “Weight is a glue that holds together a style of emotions, and by removing that glue the emotions are likely to fall apart.” Therefore, in these cases, the client must be emotionally ready and motivated to resolve the problem in order to lose the weight.

*California law allows access by California residents to complementary and alternative health care practitioners who are not providing services that require medical training and credentials. The purpose of a program of hypnotherapy is for vocational and avocational self-improvement (Business and Professions Code 2908) and as an alternative or complementary treatment to healing arts services licensed by the state. A hypnotherapist is not a licensed physician or psychologist, and hypnotherapy services are not licensed by the state of California. Services are non-diagnostic and do not include the practice of medicine, neither should they be considered a substitute for licensed medical or psychological services or procedures.

Special Offer!

Save 15 percent on all a la carte (individual) phone and Skype hypnotherapy sessions, including the 2-hour introductory First Session!

*This offer may not be combined with other promotional discounts/session packages and is not redeemable for cash. Offer expires on June 30, 2020

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. In July 2019 she was voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2020

 

 

All About Emotional & Physical Sexuality, Part 1

The concept of Emotional and Physical Sexuality formed the cornerstone of Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D.’s  therapeutic philosophies and approach. He believed that these personality traits were more important and influential than a person’s suggestibility, because sexual personality was all about the individual’s motivations and behavior in an intimate relationship. 

Whereas suggestibility (how we learn) is learned/acquired from the primary caretaker (usually, mom), the secondary caretaker (typically dad or another father figure) typically models sexual personality traits. Like suggestibility, a person’s Sexual Personality (“E & P”) is described as varying degrees of “Emotional” and “Physical” characteristics. However, emotional and physical Sexual Personality characteristics are not interchangeable with emotional and physical Suggestibility. In his research, Dr. Kappas observed that an individual’s Sexual Personality starts to develop during childhood, typically when the youngster is between eight and fourteen years old. He hypothesized that, at a very subconscious level, modeling the sexual personality traits of the father figure is a way for the child to get (metaphorically) closer to Mother. 

Unlike suggestibility, which can change somewhat and be affected by different events in an individual’s life, Sexual Personality does not alter that much during a person’s lifetime. Furthermore, these characteristics facilitate understanding and the ability to predict and shape a person’s behavior. I and my colleagues who also went through the hypnotherapy certification program at HMI appreciate the value and utility of this model when we work with our own clients to achieve their vocational and avocational self-improvement goals.

Following are highlights of Dr. Kappas’s model of E&P Sexual Personality:

·         Emotional and Physical Sexuality is NOT a male/female thing. The male can be emotional and the female can be Physical, and vice versa.

·         Opposites attract: An Emotional (e.g., social wall-flower) is drawn to the Physical (e.g., social butterfly), and vice versa because we are naturally attracted to our equal opposites. There is more intensity, more vulnerability with your opposite.

·         There is a subconscious goal to increase/raise the subdominant personality. For example: The goal of the Physical partner is to raise the Emotional partner’s subdominant trait (physicality).          

·         Different partners trigger different behaviors, depending on your E/P score

·         The E&P score will also differ depending on the phase of the relationship (Honeymoon vs. Crisis)

·         50/50 scores on the Sexuality test indicate: “We don’t know what you are.” You will have a different score for different relationships, different phases of the relationship. But you will always have a basic personality.

·         You can out-Phys/out-Emo a “same” partner. “Opposite” partners/relationships are more intense, but there is 10 times more vulnerability when you are with your subconscious opposite.

4 CORE TRAITS of the Emotional/Physical Sexual Personality

(You must have positive confirmation of 3 core traits before deciding/identifying the sexual personality.)

1.                   Parental background (when the pattern breaks, you need to find out why. Parents may be going through a different phase of their relationship.)

2.                 Response to rejection (When rejected, the Physical Sexual clings to the partner vs. an Emotional Sexual, who “freezes out” the partner)

3.                   Relationship with the physical body (comfortable vs. uncomfortable with physical contact) A Physical Sexual is connected/immediacy to the emotion, needs physical contact. There is a physical sensation with emotional reaction, somatization in the body. The Emotional Sexual has a disconnect of physical sensation to emotion. Sometimes the Emotional doesn’t know how he/she feels. Emotional protects the body, has a territory/boundary because the Emotional doesn’t know how they feel about their body or feelings.

4.                   Patterns of personal relationships (History of E/P partners. For example, if you are constantly attracted to a Physical Sexual, you are probably an Emotional Sexual, and vice versa.)

I will describe the priorities and behavioral motivations of the Emotional and Sexual Personalities in my next blog.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2016