Whom Do You Trust?

(This blog was originally posted on May 11, 2016)

Photo by Sara Fogan

One of the most important qualities of a good relationship is the amount of mutual trust shared between the partners. I believe this is especially true of the relationship people share with our equine partners, as well. I am grateful that I have twice been blessed to share this kind of bond with two equines. My first horse, Geeves, was a big Thoroughbred gelding and retired schooling master. He passed away in 2010, and I still feel his loss every day. Galahad, an Arabian/Lipizzan gelding pictured above, is one of my greatest joys and a true embodiment of the knight in shining armor. He has really lived up to his name on many occasions.

A former trainer often reminded me that the Arabian horse is historically a “people” horse. Many people have first-hand experience of how well this breed takes care of the humans in their lives. They love and are great with little kids: put a child on an Arabian or part-Arabian horse’s back and you can trust that the animal will do its best to keep the little one safe during the ride. I still remember my first ride on a little Arabian gelding when I got back into the sport in 2003. Even though I was a grown-up, Vinnie knew that I needed extra support and even some TLC the first time I got back in the saddle after a 19-years’ hiatus. When I lost my balance—which I did a couple times during that first ride—the gelding adjusted his body under me and even stopped so I could find my seat again. 

Galahad does that for me, too—and not just when he is under saddle. At our first barn, when I would go out to catch him in the paddock where he was turned out with the other geldings, my horse often turned his body sideways as if to block his herd-mates’ access to me. It was as if he knew and understood that, as a human, I was fragile and more vulnerable to injury from the rough play that he enjoyed with his buddies. No matter where we were in the paddock, my horse immediately changed his posture as if to shield me when another horse approached us. Was this action a gesture of true protection or jealous territoriality? For the first few months after I bought Galahad, whenever I had him on the wash rack to rinse him after a ride, he often moved his body to block my visibility to cars passing by on the street. He actually did this a few times before I realized what was going on, because he usually stood quiet and still to get rinsed off. But before I could detect the sound of an engine, my horse took those few steps to position his body closer to the street.

People scoff at my interpretation of these behaviors—alternately chastising me for anthropomorphizing Galahad’s actions and warning me about the inherent danger of handling and riding horses. Nonetheless, I know what I believe. When I work with equestrians in hypnotherapy, one of the first things I ask is for them to rate their level of trust they have in their equine partner and whether/how much their horse trusts them. Without trust, how can we explain or understand the various things horses allow us to do while we are on their backs? Without trust, how do we feel confident and secure to do those things without being frozen with fear that the horse will run away with us or dump us into the dirt the first chance they get?

I experienced the most significant example of my horse’s apparent concern about my well-being a couple years ago. Once a week or so I would take Galahad for a walk around the neighborhood to give him a change of scene and relax after spending so much concentrated time training in the arena. He got to do all of this work just in his halter, not bridled and under saddle. Even though I didn’t ride him on these excursions, we were still “training” as we practiced serpentine figures, lateral movements and even backing up the street. We practiced staying calm and being brave when the next-door neighbor’s donkey would brays and trot up the fence-line or another neighbor’s dogs barked as we walk past.

One day, about 10 minutes into our walk I became so weak that I could barely finish walking up the street back to the barn. It took fifteen minutes for us to travel about fifty feet, but my horse never put a hoof wrong. Every few yards I needed to stop to catch my breath; every time, Galahad just stood quietly and even cocked a hind hoof as I leaned against him for support. He was like a rock—my rock. Of course, I told him what was going on—that I felt ill and I just needed to rest for a minute before we started off again. I have no doubt that if I actually needed to stretch out on the side of the road he would have been a sentinel for me then, too. (Fortunately, I never needed to do that.) At one point, we stopped very close to where the donkey comes out to greet us. Even though Galahad was used to the sound of the little equine’s bray he still sometimes did a double-take or took a side step if he wasn’t expecting to see the animal. That day, however, my horse never flinched or even look anywhere except over his shoulder at me or straight ahead as we forged our way slowly back to the barn.

 Looking back, I can only express how grateful I was and am to have such a loyal and, yes, protective horse in my life. I was truly vulnerable that day: if he had spooked at a car or a loose dog, who knows what would have happened. I doubt that I could have been able to hold onto the lead line and keep Galahad calm in that situation. What still amazes me is that I never even worried about it, at the time,. I had complete faith and trust in my horse to help get me safely back to the barn the way I have always done for him in the past. Galahad was described as “a knight in shining armor” on the promotional DVD I saw before I bought him. On that day—and every day—he truly lives up to his name and that description.

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Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2018

When Respect Equals Love, Part 1

                If you ride and/or work with horses, you probably understand what I mean when I say that the relationship humans share with their equine partner(s) is one of the most intense experiences you may ever share with another being. We admire the power, beauty and freedom that horses represent; we want to ride the so we can know how it feels to fly without wings. We are infatuated with the myths and stories about those equine ambassadors that showed apparent loyalty to their humans, and we want to experience that kind of devotion in our lives. Unlike the dogs, cats and other small domesticated animals with whom we share our lives and homes, horses are large, powerful animals that could literally kill us at any time and without even meaning to.

                The irony of this relationship is that these big animals can seem and even be so vulnerable. Humans are predatory animals while horses are prey for many species. Feral or wild horses have no problem fending for themselves, but we tend to lavish the domesticated members of this species with food (and treats), shelter, veterinary and farrier care, and our unrequited love. Many people know what it is like to spend long hours nursing a horse back to health after it suffers a bout of colic or has a serious training injury. Is there anything as sweet as the relief we feel when we know that the animal will survive? We regard our horses as our four-legged kids. We address them with terms of endearment such as baby or sweetheart and speak in low, placating voices as if we are soothing a human child. But this kind of extreme treatment—coddling—can be lethal.

                In his Theory of Mind, John Kappas, Ph.D. described the development of the subconscious and conscious mind from the “primitive mind,” an area of the mind where the fight/flight response or survival instinct resides. Whenever you are in a trance state—whether you are deeply engrossed in a video game you are playing—or during a hypnotherapy session, you have actually “escaped” into hypnosis because the conscious mind is overwhelmed by outside stimuli. Hypnosis is your safe haven. Conversely, horses literally flee when they feel threatened. The most powerful thing that could stop this flight is the presence of a respected herd leader that commands the direction and speed with which the other animal(s) in the herd move. Since horses weigh ten times that of an average man, the safest thing in the human-equine partnership is for the person to be that leader. Unfortunately, this is an ideal and not necessarily a true hierarchy in many of these relationships.

                Your horse will not listen or respond to your vocal or body aids unless it respects you as the leader of your herd and trusts that you can and will provide security and protection from danger. This respect includes recognizing that you, like your equine, expects to have a safe perimeter of personal space in which the other horse(s) in the herd can intrude without an invitation, or else there will be consequences. If you watch a herd of horses interacting in a pasture, you will notice how one of the animals seems to control where each one of its herd-mates is grazing. If the lead horse wants to be in the spot occupied by another horse, he or she will move the other animal out of the way, starting with body language such as pinning its ears to physically pushing, biting or chasing the other horse away. More often than not, a subordinate horse knows that it needs to get out of the way when the other animal shows up to avoid a physical altercation. Every horse knows this drill from the time it is a foal, no matter what its rank in the herd. Furthermore, even in your herd of two, your horse will have no compunction about reminding you where you “belong” if he or she doesn’t respect you as that leader.

                Whether your horse invades your personal space, tries (or succeeds) to bite you, refuses to move off of your leg or vocal command, or other tries and to dominate you in any other way, it is clear that he or she does not respect you as a leader. Even the 900 to 1,300 pound “baby” that you love so much will run right over you to escape from any real or imagined threat if it doesn’t respect you and the space you are standing in or the sensation of your weight on its back. No matter how you spell the love you feel for your horse, this word is spelled r-e-s-p-e-c-t in your equine partner’s dictionary.

                By the way, your horse needs your respect, too—perhaps more than he or she wants or needs your love. I will describe some practical techniques to earn and reinforce a respectful relationship with your horse in the next blog.

 

 Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy®, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014