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| Photo by Rick Hustead |
When I was a freshman at Occidental
College, I noticed something very interesting: all of the students looked
the same. Well, not exactly the same, as in identical; but our similarity in physical
features and even social backgrounds struck me as uncanny. One of my favorite
instructors reminded me of my mother, from her general physique and gentle
demeanor to the curly, salt-and-pepper dark hair they wore in a similar style.
Maybe that resemblance contributed to her being one of my favorite professors. I
remember that my fourth-grade teacher reminded me of one of my grandmothers;
Mrs. Payne also happened to be one of my favorite grammar-school teachers. I
don’t think that was a coincidence. One of the first good friends I made at Goldsmiths College in London, during my
junior year abroad reminded me of my sister; they both even shared the same
major in English literature.
On Tuesday, May 17, 2016, KFI AM
640 radio host Gary Hoffman and his featured guest, Wendy Walsh, Ph.D., discussed
people’s subconscious tendency to recreate the “home” or family environment/social
schema where they work. Dr. Walsh’s description of this behavior sounded a lot like Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D.’s Theory of Mind. No
matter where we are or who we are with, we subconsciously want to return to
those early experiences where we felt comfortable—even if we were experiencing
pain in that situation. Both models made total sense.
Many people
spend a majority of their waking day at work or at school/college. Whether it
is a youngster’s first day in kindergarten or the first time newly minted CEO walks
into the boardroom to facilitate a meeting, anxiety (pain) is usually the
dominant emotion experienced. To alleviate this discomfort, we subconsciously
look for any similarity between what he or she knows/knows how to do and other
people with whom we have shared this previous environment or space. I remember the
anxiety I experienced when the original owner of Black Belt magazine sold
the company in 2001. All of the staff was anxious about our job security, even
the senior editors and art directors. We all knew that the new line manager
could easily decide this was a chance to “refresh” the current business model
and get new writers and editors. Would our possible replacements actually be
more skilled at our job or just a better social “fit” for the new boss? As it
turned out, most of us kept our job and even got promotions when Black Belt magazine’s current owners
bought and expanded the company a few years later. However, it was easy to see
that new writers and editors that were hired were much more “like” and
compatible with the new executive staff.
When I interviewed
for college and, later, future jobs, I subconsciously looked for an environment
where I already felt comfortable and
shared interests/goals as the people with whom I would be sharing that
environment. I have no doubt that Oxy’s college-acceptance board and my prospective
employers had similar criteria when they considered how well I would fit in
with them. The same could also be said of how I was originally recruited to
join NRG—the business-network group to which I belong—and even, to some extent,
how my clients “choose” to work with me as their hypnotherapist. What is
similar? What is familiar? That is where we ultimately go—and stay.
Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified
hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors
from the Hypnosis Motivation
Institute in 2005. For more
information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an
appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.
© 2016
