I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE!
(This blog was originally posted on August 5, 2014)
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In
one episode of his talk show, Late Night with Seth Meyers
host, Seth Meyers, had his younger brother, Josh, as a guest on the show to
help promote their animated series, The
Awesomes. This was the first time I ever saw them interact together,
and I was immediately struck by how easy, comfortable and familiar they were. That
made sense: not only are they brothers; they are obviously very good friends.
Watching the interview was less like a promotion for their shared venture on
the Hulu® network and more like being a fly
on the wall at a family reunion. It was fun to listen to them reminisce about their
childhood and adolescence, the private names they call each other and the
verbal shorthand they use to communicate. Apparently, the brothers knew each
other so well that when Seth offered to pick up a sandwich for Josh, the
younger sibling immediately knew that the family dog had died. Similarly, when
Josh started a phone conversation by saying “I’m all right,” Seth knew those
words were actually a code for, I’m alive,
but this, this and this happened to me on the ski slopes today, or
whatever.
Family
members aren’t the only ones who communicate like this. Good friends, spouses,
romantic partners or military personnel also share a similar verbal shorthand.
Words don’t even need to be spoken, yet a gesture or facial expression tells an
entire story to the other party in this non-verbal exchange. An observer,
someone who is not part of this immediate group, might wonder if the members
are even psychic the way they finish each other’s sentences. Even spookier is
when one person says something and another says, “I was just going to say
that!” and you know it is true. Extra-sensory perception may or may not have a
part in the fluidity of this exchange, but you can definitely chalk up the
mutual understanding to shared experiences and shared subconscious knowns. Siblings are a great example of
this phenomenon.
Consider
this second example of shared, familial knowns versus what we learn from non-family
members (strangers). The popular detective series of the late 1980s and early
1990s, Inspector Morse, got
a new spinoff a few years ago titled Endeavour. This new series follows Shaun Evans’ rookie detective constable
at the start of Morse’s police career, negotiating department politics while he
solves complicated murders. I think Evans is well-cast as Morse. He has the
clear-blue eyes for which John Thaw’s Chief Inspector Morse was known, and the
younger man has mastered Thaw’s facial expressions, posture and pattern of
speech. But Thaw’s daughter, Abigail, who has a recurring role in the new
series, is even more like her late father than the man who portrays him. In
addition to bearing some physical resemblance to him, Ms. Thaw absolutely has that raised eyebrow, grimace, slow
smile that fans remember from her father’s embodiment of “Morse.” These are not
gestures that she would have had to study and learn so she could mimic them in
her role, the way Evans would have had to do to convincingly portray a younger
version of Inspector Morse. Rather, she would have acquired them over the years
while sitting on her father’s knee listening to a story when she was a little
girl or any number of casual interactions with him during a family get-together.
Whether
or not you are emotionally close to your family, if you were raised and grew up
together you already share more than DNA. You also learned various behaviors
and beliefs from your parent(s)/guardian(s) through the development of your
suggestibility, as did your sibling(s). You learned to associate certain events
or stimuli with pleasure or pain, and these experiences became the knowns that
would create, support and reinforce your subconscious life script. This process
is the basis of Hypnosis Motivation Founder
John Kappas, Ph.D.’s Theory
of Mind and development of suggestibility.
Whenever someone observes how two “like” minds think alike, I would say that is
true more frequently about family members’—especially, siblings’—mental
processes than that of two “strangers” such as spouses or close friends. Dr.
Kappas’ Theory of Mind probably also goes a long way to explain the role of nurture
in terms of contributing to our social development.
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Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a
certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with
honors from the Hypnosis Motivation
Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best
Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022).
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