To All the Horses I Have Loved Before

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

(This blog was originally posted on September 27, 2016)

Photo courtesy of Sara Fogan

Me and Galhoso (“Gally”), the horse who brought me back to riding.

 

 

 

This blog is dedicated with love to the memory of Galhoso (“Gally”), the Lusitano stallion who reignited my love for horses and riding. Rest in sweet peace, dear boy.

When I started my hypnotherapy training, an important focus of my original business plan was to help equestrians improve their communication and relationship with their equine partners, including overcome anxiety around horses and achieve competition goals. Of course, not all of my practice focuses on horses and riding. Smoking cessation, weight loss, overcoming fear of public speaking/performance anxiety, grief resolution and dealing with stress/anxiety are just a few of many other self-improvement goals I help my clients achieve. But I named my hypnotherapy practice Calminsense Hypnotherapy® in homage of my special interest in horses and riding. “Common Sense” is a colloquial expression that means “horse sense,” and I use the word “calm” many times during every hypnotherapy session. Recent queries about my work with equestrians inspired me to pay tribute to some of the horses that have been so special to me over the years.

• Paent (pronounced “Paint” and probably named because of his coloring). I rode him on a trail-ride during my one-and-only summer camp experience. He was probably an average-sized horse, about 15 or 15.2 hands high, but I was very little at age eight and he seemed huge. He was a gentle giant—i.e., he didn’t run off or try to dump me during the ride—and I begged my parents to let me take him home with me when I went home.
• Renege. I rode this grey gelding for a few years between the ages of about 11 and 15. My first-ever riding instructor owned him and his doppelganger, a gelding called Charlie. Trivia fact: Clint Eastwood is riding Renege in the first 10 minutes of High Plains Drifter. The gelding was very dirty in this scene, but he is definitely in those scenes. My trainer’s husband worked in the movie industry and owned the horses—or bought them right after the movie, I can’t remember. Renege was a little smaller than Charlie and rarely used in jumping lessons—which made him less popular in lessons—but I really bonded with him. I can still remember how slow and smooth Renege’s trot was; in fact, it was probably better categorized as a Western jog. His canter (lope) was also comparatively slow compared to the bolder stride that is desired in dressage. My memory of how wonderful his canter felt probably created the subconscious mental script that my subsequent trainers and I had to work hard re-write so I would feel comfortable riding a true medium (bold) canter.
• Galhoso (“Gally”). One of my dear friends co-owns a Lusitano stallion called Galhoso. Sadly, he passed away last week at the very respectable age of 31. His death may not have been completely unexpected, but it has been keenly felt by everyone who loved and cared for him. I am grateful that I was able to visit Gally a final time at the beginning of 2017, and he was as impressive and sweet as the first time we met about 15 years ago. At that first meeting, my friend asked if I would like to sit on him after their training session. She knew that I used to ride when I was a teenager and loved horses. The opportunity to get on a horse again and even trot him around on a lunge line for a few minutes was too good to be true. I admit that the idea of riding a stallion (!) was thrilling, and it still tickles me that I had that experience. That ride also was the beginning of my re-introduction to horses and riding as a passion and life-style. The following year I started taking regular riding lessons again and bought my first-ever horse. I now own a Lipizzan/Arabian gelding named Galahad whom I affectionately nick-named “Gally-had” a few months before Gally died. I don’t know why I started calling my boy that, but I will continue to do so in loving memory of that tremendous stallion who brought horses and riding back into my life all those years ago.
• Geeves. I bought him from my trainer at Silvergate Farms when I turned 35. As I liked to say, I knew I loved him before I ever met or rode him. Having lived in England for seven years I was a fan of the Jeeves and Wooster novels and television series. As soon as I heard there was a horse with that name at the barn I knew I had to meet him. My trainer was surprised when I asked to ride Geeves, but we soon became recognized as a kind of item at the barn: “Sara and Geeves.” At 16.2 hands high, the dark-brown gelding was (and remains) one of the biggest horses I have ever ridden. He was always very gentle with and even protective of me, as I was of him. He taught me how to enjoy every aspect of loving a horse—not just riding but grooming, hanging out on rainy days and worrying about every little thing that horse owners worry about, often unnecessarily. Geeves and I were together for nearly eight years and it’s nearly six years since he passed away. I still miss him every day, and I remember every lesson he taught me.
• Candy. I leased this sweet part-Arabian mare for about a year after Geeves died. I had actually been riding her at the end of Geeves’ life because his arthritis was getting worse. I wasn’t ready to own another horse yet, but the schooling mare and I were a good fit as far as size and my riding goals/ability. She took me to my first horse shows, and even though I knew she wouldn’t be a permanent part of my life I am grateful for the time I got to spend with her while I was grieving for my horse.
• Galahad. I met Avalon’s Galahad in 2011. Our introduction was similar to how I discovered Geeves. A friend (now current trainer) owned a training barn and Arabian-horse breeding facility; when I finally started looking for a horse of my own, she gave me a DVD of some of the horses she was offering for sale at the time. My interest piqued the instant Galahad appeared in the frames. Learning about the horse’s part-Lipizzan pedigree was like a dream come true. The dancing white horses of the Spanish Riding School symbolized the ultimate of classical dressage training, and I could have a chance to become part of that story. The first time Galahad was brought out for me to watch him work at liberty, even my trainer agreed he seemed to be flirting with me in a way he didn’t behave with another prospective buyer. The first time I got on him for a ride, the gelding cocked a hind leg and dropped his head, waiting patiently as I adjusted my stirrups. “Well, he’s made up his mind!” My trainer said with a laugh, noting Galahad’s relaxation with me on board.

So had I, and we’ve been together ever since.

 

 

 

Special Discount for Military Personnel & 1^st Responders

 

Special Offer: 25 percent discount off the first hypnotherapy session for all active/retired military personnel and first responders (police, fire-fighters, EMT/paramedics, ambulance personnel, emergency dispatchers, ER physicians and nurses, COVID-19 Ward staff).

*Not to be combined with any other promotions or discounts. Offer not redeemable for cash.

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, three years in a row (2019, 2020, 2021). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2022

  

Confounding Variables

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 

(This blog was originally posted on June 9, 2014)

Photo by Rick Hustead

 

“Confounding variables” is a concept in statistics where two or more discrete variables can interact in such a way that it is impossible to determine which factor had the greatest impact on the results of the study. Statistics was my least-favorite class in college, but I remain very interested in the way confounding variables affect so many areas of our lives, in “real” life. They impact our work and personal relationships; they influence how we feel physically and emotionally at different times of the day, week, month or year. Everything you see, smell, taste, hear or touch can interact with another factor (or person) to produce a specific response; but that reaction may be completely different in an hour or if one of the stimuli changes.

For example, imagine that you are sitting at your desk at work, about to open your mail. Your colleague peeks over the top of the cubicle divider to invite you to join her for lunch, and the cloying sweet scent of her perfume fills your nostrils. You politely decline the invitation and start to open the first envelop when a wave of nausea rolls over you. Whoa. You skipped breakfast this morning; maybe you are hungrier than you thought, and a low blood-sugar level triggered this symptom. Alternatively, your sensitivity to strong smells, especially to perfumes and colognes, could have made you feel queasy. It’s no wonder that this particular scent set you off, since your ex also used to wear the same brand. Then you notice that the letter you just opened is from a particularly demanding client; he wants to know why his last order still hasn’t arrived. Cue the sense of panic, palpitations, shortness of breath and cold sweat.

You know that each of these stimuli can induce stress in you. The tricky thing about confounding variables is that you may not be able to identify which one has triggered your reaction at that moment. If you feel overwhelmed by what is going on around you, take a moment or two to do diaphragmatic breathing to help you relax and increase your ability to focus on what is going on inside and around you. (If you feel overwhelmed while you are driving, pull your car over to the side of the road or, even better, into a parking lot so you can concentrate on this exercise.) Once you are feeling calmer, do a quick mental scan of what is going on in your life at that moment that could have triggered the stress reaction or anxiety. If you haven’t eaten in a long time, have a snack or a small meal that contains protein to help regulate you blood-sugar level and alleviate symptoms such as dizziness, irritability and confusion. (If you are experiencing physical symptoms of distress, such as chest pain, seek medical help immediately.) I also recommend to my clients that they do EFT (emotional-freedom technique) or “tapping” to individually address the factors that they believe to be exacerbating their distress.

Remember that in real life, as in research, it is necessary to identify and separate the factors that influence our unwanted behavior so we can affect the changes we want to make in our lives.

 

 

 

 

Special Discount for Military Personnel & 1^st Responders

 

Special Offer: 25 percent discount off the first hypnotherapy session for all active/retired military personnel and first responders (police, fire-fighters, EMT/paramedics, ambulance personnel, emergency dispatchers, ER physicians and nurses, COVID-19 Ward staff).

*Not to be combined with any other promotions or discounts. Offer not redeemable for cash.

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, three years in a row (2019, 2020, 2021). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2022

 

 

Possible Factors Behind Road Rage

 I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 

(This blog was originally posted on April 6, 2016)

Photo by Rick Hustead

 

A few years ago, listeners of KFI AM 640 Radio called into the station to describe their experiences with road rage. One person described how someone tail-gated his vehicle for several miles before getting into a physical altercation. Another person reported witnessing a situation where an older woman “stole” a parking place close to the shopping mall that another, younger driver had been coveting; when the first driver blew her a kiss, the younger woman apparently shouted, “I will find you!” In another instance, someone described her fear when she and another driver had pulled over to the shoulder of the road and the other individual came at her with a jack. She said she was certain he would beat her up with it when the man suddenly turned around, got back into his vehicle and drove away.

As I listened to these anecdotes, I noticed some very interesting physiological changes going on in me. The first was astonishment, anxiety and even fear for the people involved. I couldn’t imagine what I would do if someone came at me with a crowbar because I cut in front of that person in rush-hour traffic. I see drivers do that all the time, usually without consequence or a sharp bleep of a car horn. I felt horrible for the woman who received the veil threat that the other, wronged driver was coming after her because she took the other person’s parking spot. Yes, it was inconsiderate (to put it politely) and even mean for her to slip into a spot that someone else had been waiting for. But did this action deserve the implied threat, “I’m coming for you!”

My next response was anger. I wondered how any of those situations justified violence or even threatened violence. Sure, that annoying driver might have ignored the rules of the road or went out of the way to cause aggravation for other people “just because.” But what if one of the drivers made a mistake and realized, almost too late, that he needed to get into another lane to exit the freeway? Perhaps another person, unfamiliar with the city or roads, was lost and even having a panic attack, which explained his excruciatingly slow speed. What if the older driver who “stole” the parking place that another person was clearly waiting for had a physical disability? Apparently, she blew a kiss to the first woman as she pulled in, which allegedly sparked the other woman’s rage. What if the older woman blew that kiss not to goad the other person but was a gesture of her gratitude?

Now picture yourself in this scenario: You are driving in heavy, rush-hour traffic when a car cuts across the freeway and merges into your lane, right in front of you. Instinctively, you slam on your brakes to prevent crashing into the other vehicle, only to have the car behind you lay into her horn. You really haven’t done anything wrong in this situation; the person in front of you was driving dangerously and you were trying to prevent a crash. Anyone else would have done the same thing. Nonetheless, your nerves are in tatters from the near-miss and the loud horn is the last straw.  You flinch, startled by the loud noise and you feel your face flush with fury. Perhaps you mutter a few curse words and go on your way, annoyed but also relieved when the other driver speeds past with another loud beep of the horn. You wonder what just happened and hope you stop shaking soon.

·        Fear: The screeching of your brakes and the sound of the loud horn blaring from the car behind you created an immediate fear reaction. As Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D., explained in his model of the Theory of Mind, at birth we “know” only two things: reaction to the fear of falling and reaction to a fear of loud noises. These fear responses are lodged in the Primitive Area of the mind, always accessible and easily triggered to protect us from impending danger. The sounds of the screeching brakes and beeping horn, plus the sensation of lurching forward (“falling”) as you slammed on your brakes, triggered your fear response. Big time. When the first driver executed an unsafe lane change in front of your car, your first emotional response was probably terror that you were about to be in the worst car crash ever. The loud squeal of your brakes and perhaps the blast of your or another driver’s horn reinforces that fear response. When you slammed on the brakes, you were immediately grateful that the car behind you didn’t drive right into the rear bumper of your car, either. In fear, we perceive that we are literally at the mercy of the circumstance to not be harmed. We believe that have little or no control over the outcome, which is when the fight/flight response kicks in. Some people are very tolerant and possess a live-and-let-live attitude about everything. For them, the initial fear they experienced after nearly being involved in an accident on a busy freeway is appreciated for what it was: a “near miss.” Life and the rest of the drive goes on, perhaps with prayers of thanks or just a sigh of relief, but (hopefully) no more drama on the road.

·        Anger: However, fear and anger often go hand-in-hand. Conversely, when we feel angry we generally perceive that we have a greater perception of control over our circumstances. Furthermore, we even have the perception of the luxury of control over whether the behavior deserves to be punished and how much punishment to dole out. Once you know the danger had passed, the anger started to build up and you thought/yelled: Don’t you (other driver) know how scared I was just now because your careless/erratic driving almost caused me to crash my car? And to the car behind you, Why are you honking at me, you so-and-so, I was scared and trying not to crash into that such-and-such! It’s not my fault!  Don’t get mad at me! What did you want to do to the person who cut into traffic in front of you? What did the driver behind you do in this situation?

·        Suggestibility: The next variable to consider in this reaction is Suggestibility. When the first car merged in front of yours, did you immediately place blame on his or her careless driving? Did you wonder if this action was to punish you for something you may or may not have done (or be aware of doing) in traffic a few miles ago? In your state of heightened alertness and fear, did you consider the possibility that the driver behind you was actually trying to reprimand the first driver for unsafe driving, in the first place?

·        Hunger and Nutrition: In my blog titled This Afternoon on the Radio, I described how low blood-sugar levels can affect suggestibility and behavior including memory problems, inability to focus, irritability and increased anxiety or even paranoia. This physiologically compromised state can exacerbate irrational and even potentially violent behavior in you and/or the other drivers that are involved in this situation. Hunger, compounded with the stress of driving in heavy, rush-hour traffic can bring out the worst in anyone.  Another example of this kind of aggressive response recently and notably happened in a California-based McDonald’s in 2018. The state had just enacted a ban on distributing plastic straws, whereby restaurant customers had to specifically ask an employee for a straw if they wanted one instead of the straws being easily accessible. On this occasion, a man allegedly became aggressive with an employee when she told him about the new policy while taking his order. The guest reportedly became so incensed about this policy that he even reached over the counter to grab her, and then started punching her. A supervisor was called over to try to ameliorate the situation; meanwhile several of her colleagues and some customers rushed to help the clerk get out of the man’s grip (she also fought back) and separate the parties. Later, when various news outlets asked passersby what they believed might have triggered this violence over availability of a plastic straw, several astutely replied: “I think [the customer] was hangry.” You have probably also heard or even heard this term yourself in reference to the angry/aggressive influences many people experience when they become hungry. For more information about this relationship, check out my blog titled How This Snickers Bar Got It (Sort of) Right.

When fear for your life is compounded with the desire to punish someone who caused that fear by acting carelessly or recklessly, the situation can quickly become deadly for all parties involved. Unfortunately, these kinds of situations happen all too often on the road these days. If you are involved in a dangerous encounter on the road the best, safest and advised thing to do is call law-enforcement right away. Do not get into the altercation in the first place. Call police or drive to the nearest police or highway patrol station to report what is going on. No matter what yours or the other driver’s offense happened to be, it is not worth killing or getting seriously injured or dying for. There is always another place to park your car or a different lane to merge into. A smashed car can be replaced. A life cannot.

 

 

Special Discount for Military Personnel & 1^st Responders

Special Offer: 25 percent discount off the first hypnotherapy session for all active/retired military personnel and first responders (police, fire-fighters, EMT/paramedics, ambulance personnel, emergency dispatchers, ER physicians and nurses, COVID-19 Ward staff).

*Not to be combined with any other promotions or discounts. Offer not redeemable for cash.

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, three years in a row (2019, 2020, 2021). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2022

 

The Law of Association and the Law of Dominance

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 (This blog was previously posted on March 3, 2016)

 

Photo by Rick Hustead

 

During a typical hypnotherapy session, one of the most powerful tools to reinforce hypnotic suggestions is the Law of Association: an association between a suggestion (identification of a specific stimulus) and a specific, desired response. One example of this law is, when the hypnotherapist’s hand moves to dim the lights in the office and the client immediately, automatically moves to the recliner in preparation of being hypnotized. This association is possible because long before you come in for your first hypnotherapy session, the Law of Association has facilitated the development of your suggestibility.

In a therapeutic context, when I work with a client to overcome a fear or phobia, I create hypnotic scripts that enable the person to associate the relaxation response (deep breathing, focused mind, increased confidence) with a non-reaction to the original stimulus. Repeated exposure to that stimulus in conjunction with the associated relaxation response eventually extinguishes the fear or phobia.

When the Law of Dominance is employed during hypnotherapy, the hypnotherapist employs a stance of authority by assuming that the client will respond or behave in a specific way (e.g., go into hypnosis). An example of this law is when I say “deep sleep” firmly, not forcefully, and snap my fingers or touch the client’s forehead to deepen the hypnotic state. Through the Law of Association, the individual has already shown that he or she has already associated the link between my dimming the office lights and moving to the recliner. When I say “deep sleep,” these words instruct (directly or inferentially) the client to close his or her eyes as the person drifts into the relaxed hypnotic state that facilitates the desired behavior change (e.g., extinguishing a fear or phobia).

 

Special Discount for Military Personnel & 1^st Responders

 

Special Offer: 25 percent discount off the first hypnotherapy session for all active/retired military personnel and first responders (police, fire-fighters, EMT/paramedics, ambulance personnel, emergency dispatchers, ER physicians and nurses, COVID-19 Ward staff).

*Not to be combined with any other promotions or discounts. Offer not redeemable for cash.

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, three years in a row (2019, 2020, 2021). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2022

 

 

 

Schadenfreude and the Law of Attraction

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

(This blog was originally posted on March 14, 2016)

 

Photo by Rick Hustead

 

There is a scene in International Velvet when a horse on a rival Olympic team knocks down a pole and incurs a points-error. When the protagonist’s aunt Velvet sees what happened on television, she shouts, “Good!” The opponent’s error has made a little more room for her niece, Sarah, to secure a team gold medal if she can get around the course without making any mistakes. (Of course, she does.) But that doesn’t happen before Velvet’s partner, John, raises an eyebrow and comments, “That’s not very sporting of you!”

Schadenfreude.

I came across this word in the context of the plot in A Trick of the Light, a novel by Louise Penny, which I finished reading a few weeks ago. Basically, it means “deriving pleasure from someone else’s misfortune.” In the book, one of the characters is finally enjoying the critical recognition of her talent at a private show for her paintings, followed by a celebratory barbecue at her home. However, her husband and some friends discover the body of a former friend/enemy their garden the following day. The artist wants to celebrate the success of her show and budding career, but she feels guilty about wanting her art to be lauded even after the crime that happened in front of her home. Perhaps more disturbing to her is the eventual realization that her husband, a successful artist, has actually been jealous of her talent for many years and secretly hoped that the murder might derail her success a little bit.

In addition to the scenarios described above, Urban Dictionary lists several common examples of this experience: hearing someone shout “Hold the door!” while running for an elevator, only to reach the lift just as the door shuts. Or a straight-A student missing one question on a five-question quiz to bring the test score down to a B (80 percent). How about when the quarterback on the opposing team gets sacked after preventing your team from scoring a touch-down? Another example might be watching the value of a company’s stock shares plummet right after you have been fired. And so on.

It is not uncommon or even unnatural to feel happy about or want to get a small bit of compensation for our own misfortune. But, how “good” does it really feel? Does it make you feel happy? Relieved? Or do you scramble for all of the reasons why the other person deserved this misfortune or inconvenience so you can justify feeling good about it? Human emotions can be very tricky things. They can be accompanied by physiological sensations such as palpitations, change in breathing, trembling, etc. Sometimes censorial thoughts from the conscious mind (and conscience) intrude on these celebrations, too: Why do I feel good about someone else feeling bad?

Try this simple technique to get a different perspective about what is going on inside and around you: Draw a deep, calming breath and hold this air in your lungs for four seconds. Do not think about the situation, your emotions or why you think/imagine you felt the way you do or did when the situation first occurred. Instead, focus your attention on your breath and someone or something that brings you a lot of love and joy. Perhaps it is your spouse, or your kids, a pet, your job, a hobby, etc. Then, as you exhale, release the breath on the word love. Repeat this exercise several times to reinforce this positive direction of your attention.

In his book, Success Is Not an Accident: The Mental Bank Concept, Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D., explains how the mental scripts we program into our subconscious mind determine the outcome of our actions. Whether we imagine a positive or negative result, the SCM follows that subconscious mental script to actualize the goal you “want.” When we focus on enjoying the negative outcome another person is experiencing, we may also be reinforcing a subconscious desire for a similar negative event to happen to us. Conversely, when we send out positive, encouraging energy to celebrate another person’s success, we are also telling the subconscious mind, I want success, too! Whether that success includes getting into an elevator before the door closes or celebrating your partner’s triumphant art show, wishing another person well is more likely to attract good things to you than the temporary pleasure of schadenfreude ever could.

For more information about the Law of Attraction, I invite you to read my blog titled Intuition and the Law of Attraction and check out the book resources on this topic in Suggested Reading.

 

 

 

Special Discount for Military Personnel & 1^st Responders

 

Special Offer: 25 percent discount off the first hypnotherapy session for all active/retired military personnel and first responders (police, fire-fighters, EMT/paramedics, ambulance personnel, emergency dispatchers, ER physicians and nurses, COVID-19 Ward staff).

*Not to be combined with any other promotions or discounts. Offer not redeemable for cash.

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, three years in a row (2019, 2020, 2021). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2022

 

 

 

Selective Listening

 I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

(This blog was originally posted on March 2, 2017)

 

Photo by Rick Hustead

 

Winning. Losing. Some people do a lot of one; others do a lot of the other. No matter what you do, the more you practice (repeat) a behavior, the more likely it is to become a habit. And as many of us know, it can be very difficult to change an unwanted behavior because, well, change is hard.

As I explained in a previous blog titled Traditions: It’s All in the Family, the subconscious part of the mind likes and wants to do what is familiar (known), because this sense of familiarity represents “safety” and comfort. Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D. proposed that human behavior is based on the subconscious mental scripts that we create during early childhood. During this time the subconscious mind is accumulating and storing various message units that will ultimately comprise the subconscious life script. We will behave and even think in ways that are consistent with it even when the script does not facilitate achievement of our personal goals. Each message is ultimately categorized as a positive (pleasure) or negative (pain) experience, and anything that the subconscious mind does not recognize falls under the category of “pain.” Even if the conscious mind questions the behavior, its logic/reasoning/will-power/decision-making faculties will be no match for the unspoken acceptance of that action, in the subconscious mind.

Fortunately, it is possible to change or get rid of an unwanted habit. This change starts in the conscious mind, where logic, reasoning, decision-making and reasoning faculties hold court. This is the area of the mind where we notice that this particular behavior isn’t working and is even making life more challenging for us. Noticing and deciding that you want to make this change is the first positive step to making it happen. However, the real change happens in the subconscious mind. This is the area of the mind where the subconscious mental script was originally written and continues to be carefully, lovingly nurtured to keep us comfortable. Or so we think.

Because each of us is most suggestible to ourselves, when we feel discouraged or sad or unhappy or are even hungry, we may be more likely to not only hear but also listen to those negative messages. The more down on ourselves we become, the more we subconsciously behave in ways that reinforce the feedback we give ourselves. For example, consider the individuals who are running for President right now. Pay attention to the language they are using in their campaign: “If I become President” versus “When I become President.” Have you noticed a trend whereby the individuals who say when seem to be doing better in the polls and in recent elections? Of course there are other issues at stake and to consider, but it is striking how many more candidates who seem less confident about being electable are not doing so well or have suspended their campaigns.

For example, a John Grisham novel called Gray Mountain features a protagonist who recently been furloughed from a well-paying, high-status job as a lawyer. It is 2008, right before the recession. As a condition of her unemployment, she can keep her health-care benefits and a chance to get her job back if she does the volunteer work at one of the small law firms her P.R. department has recommended. After she receives nine rejections in one day while applying for pro bono (unpaid) work, she decides (conscious decision) that she does not want to get a tenth one, so she makes a conscious effort to change her negative attitude about her situation. Yes, the prospective firm is tiny by comparison, located in a tiny town and she will have to practice the kind of law she hasn’t done since she was in law school. She tries to be more optimistic and enthusiastic about the opportunity to practice real law for “real” clients, as time passes she discovers that she really enjoys and values the work she is doing at this tiny law firm, compared to the corporate law that she has become used to. She is finally doing the work that she (her subconscious mind and subconscious mental script) believes is truly worthwhile and meaningful for clients who really need her. The more she believes her work is valuable and valued, the harder she works to do the right thing for her clients. And the harder she works for her clients, the more they appreciate her and what she is doing for them. (Well, most of them. This is a thriller, after all.) The important thing to remember in this instance is that the protagonist’s subconscious mental script identifies with those ideals she originally held when she decided to become a lawyer. The idea and ideal of actually helping people resonates with what she must do to fulfill the conditions of her furlough.

At the end of the day, each one of us behaves in way(s) that fulfill our subconscious goals. Whenever we make a conscious decision to change a behavior, the success of that decision is largely dependent upon our subconscious mind facilitating that change. Remember: the conscious messages you pay attention to the most that reinforce which subconscious messages and which mental script most resonates with you. The more you listen to and believe the negative messages, the more you reinforce those negative beliefs. Conversely, the more attention you pay to and believe the positive messages, the more you reinforce those beliefs. Ultimately, the subconscious mental script and the extent to which your subconscious mind accepts these goals determine whether your desired behavior change can and will occur.

If you want to achieve a desired goal, pay attention to what messages you’re listening to!

 

 

Special Discount for Military Personnel & 1^st Responders

 Special Offer: 25 percent discount off the first hypnotherapy session for all active/retired military personnel and first responders (police, fire-fighters, EMT/paramedics, ambulance personnel, emergency dispatchers, ER physicians and nurses, COVID-19 Ward staff).

*Not to be combined with any other promotions or discounts. Offer not redeemable for cash.

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, three years in a row (2019, 2020, 2021). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2022

 

 

Consideration

 I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 

(This blog was originally posted on March 6, 2017)

 

Photo by Rick Hustead

 

 

This afternoon I read a blog that really impacted me. In Subir Chowdhury’s essay titled The Power of a Glass of Water: Why Simple Acts of Thoughtfulness Matter Today, he considers the value of simple acts of consideration and the way such actions benefit other people at no cost to us. At the beginning of the article, Mr. Chowdhury recounts an in incident in which passenger asked a flight attendant for a glass of water before takeoff. The flight attendant told him that snacks and beverages would not be served in the Economy section until the plane was airborne. (The fact that Mr. Chowdhury and other people in the Business- and First-Class sections of the het had already received complimentary alcoholic beverages and snacks while the jet was still on the tarmac was beside the point.) The gentleman who asked for a glass of water was a senior citizen; the cabin crew refused to bring him anything to drink even after repeated requests and explaining that he was very thirsty. Finally, another passenger sitting near the writer in the First-Class section stood up, went to the galley and brought the other man the water he needed. While the flight attendant who refused to do this, herself, seemed a bit put-out by this action, he observed that the older man was very appreciative of the other passenger’s thoughtful gesture.

It is very easy to be thoughtful and considerate of another person’s feelings. Many of us can still hear one or both parents reiterating the importance of observing the Golden Rule of reciprocity: “Do unto others as you would have done unto you.” In other words, if you don’t like being disrespected, teased, hit, etc., it is pretty likely that others do not like this kind of treatment, either. Similarly, when someone does something kind or thoughtful that benefits you, this action should (hopefully) inspire you to do something good for another person.

Simple acts of kindness and consideration are easy to do and generally make both parties feel good. Examples include helping someone reach an item on a high shelf at the grocery store, assisting a person on crutches to cross the street or lending a person the use of your mobile phone to call roadside assistance to get his keys out of the locked car. Parents whose teenage son or daughter recently got a driving license are probably familiar with this one: Call or send a text message when you get where you are going, and then when you are on your way home! A smile or a compliment can make someone’s day. Mailing the rent check to your landlord on time or helping to clean up after a mess—even if you didn’t make it—are such little things we can all do with very little effort, but they can all mean so much.

 

 

Special Discount for Military Personnel & 1^st Responders

 

Special Offer: 25 percent discount off the first hypnotherapy session for all active/retired military personnel and first responders (police, fire-fighters, EMT/paramedics, ambulance personnel, emergency dispatchers, ER physicians and nurses, COVID-19 Ward staff).

*Not to be combined with any other promotions or discounts. Offer not redeemable for cash.

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, three years in a row (2019, 2020, 2021). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2022

 

 

Mental Block, Mental Overload

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

(This blog was originally posted on March 13, 2017)

 

Photo by Rick Hustead

 

 

Some people are great at sports. Some people are wonderful painters or sculptors. Some people are fabulous wordsmiths. Regardless of their expertise, almost everyone experiences that horrifying moment of “choking” on the playing field or unable to harness that muse to create another masterpiece. When we hear the term “writer’s block,” it is common to imagine that the person suffering this very painful and stressful condition has no ideas for a subject to write about. But this is not always the case, as Carrie Ann Golden explained in her blog titled, “Sometimes Having Too Many Creative Ideas Hurt.”¹ Indeed, in this situation having too many creative inspirations can be equally paralyzing as we feel we do not have enough resources/skills/opportunities to express every idea that has come to us. Believe it or not, this situation is actually a direct path to, and example of, being in hypnosis.

According to Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D., the state of hypnosis occurs when an overload of message units disorganizes the inhibitory process (Critical Mind), triggering the fight/flight response and creating a hyper-suggestible state that provides access to the subconscious mind. This deluge of message units comes from the environment, the body, the conscious mind or the subconscious mind. We “escape” from this overload by going into hypnosis. Although hypnosis is generally perceived as a very comfortable and relaxing physical state, it is common—and even necessary—to experience some anxiety on the way to expressing the creative ideas bottled up inside.

To help a client overcome Writer’s Block or a similar creative obstruction, the first thing I must often do is de-hypnotize the person. This is a necessary step to release any previous subconscious mental scripts the person has created or follows regarding why he or she cannot or will not commit to one of those ideas. Sometimes the individual needs to learn how to allow the creative process to evolve and even be willing to discard an idea or plan that doesn’t seem so feasible or practical in the long run. Other times, the key to creative success lies in helping the person give himself or herself permission to pursue the topic that is most inspiring and motivational.

During hypnosis, I provide relevant suggestions to help my client organize and express these idea(s) creatively. Someone whose block is created by an overload of ideas may also appreciate the hypnotic suggestion that there is plenty of room in the subconscious mind to file and store inspirations for future projects. At the end of the session, once the client has returned to a fully alert and aware state, I teach the individual how to count out of hypnosis to prevent this kind of overload during the creative process.

 

1 Golden, Carrie Ann. January 31, 2017. Sometimes Having Too Many Creative Ideas Hurt – A writer & her adolescent muse (wordpress.com)

 

 

Special Discount for Military Personnel & 1^st Responders

 Special Offer: 25 percent discount off the first hypnotherapy session for all active/retired military personnel and first responders (police, fire-fighters, EMT/paramedics, ambulance personnel, emergency dispatchers, ER physicians and nurses, COVID-19 Ward staff).

*Not to be combined with any other promotions or discounts. Offer not redeemable for cash.

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, three years in a row (2019, 2020, 2021). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2022