Moving On, Part 1

(This blog was originally posted on August 3, 2018)

Image courtesy of Microsoft

I recently read a quote from Redefining Refuge which really resonated with me: “Cutting people out of your life doesn’t mean you hate them, it simply means you respect yourself. Not everyone is meant to stay.” Think about it: children are born, grow up and eventually move out of the family home. They may attend college, get married and start their own families; or, they choose a vocation and start their career, perhaps moving out of state (or out of the country) to establish their own lives. Changing and moving on is part of living; growing up emotionally as well as physically and chronologically. While these separations are initially hard for both the parents and the “kids,” that doesn’t mean these life transitions should not occur.

Just as we grow up and outgrow our roles as children in the family home, we can also outgrow the relationships we have forged during the course of our lives. As we mature, it is natural to develop different and separate interests from the ones we shared with our childhood and school friends. We often away from friendships and romantic relationships we have enjoyed as adults. But, why shouldn’t this occur? We continue to grow and mature every minute of our lives. It is not so unusual to discover that the things that you couldn’t imagine liking or wanting to do at seventeen have become sources of profound enjoyment at thirty-seven. If the relationship devolves from friendship and respect to resentment and even physical and/or physical abuse, it is time to cut those ties and move on to a healthier relationship and a safer environment. But knowing this doesn’t make it easier to do. Does it?

It isn’t just that we continue to feel strong emotions about or bonds to the other person that makes this separation so difficult. Rather, per John Kappas, Ph.D.’s Theory of Mind, it is so difficult to “leave” a relationship we have outgrown because we must give up a powerful known in our subconscious mind. This relationship and the person(s) we share it with have become part of our subconscious mental script; the longer we have been following this script by interacting in loving and respectful ways with the other person, the more difficult it is to stop following that script. The same is also true if and when we have been following an unloving and disrespectful or abusive script. Even if you do not or no longer have positive feelings about the other person or people, this separation may be painful because you must venture into the unknown experience of being independent from that relationship. Regardless of the quality of that bond, disengaging from it and the habits or behaviors you have practiced during the relationship entails breaking script.

Whatever the cause, letting go of a relationship can be very difficult and painful. In the next blog, I will explain how experiencing grief and the five stages of loss during hypnotherapy can help accept that the relationship is finished. When we are able to say goodbye with love and respect, we can move forward in our lives and so can they.

       

Summer Promotion: Hypnosis for Weight Loss

Let the power of your subconscious mind help you release extra weight and increase your motivation to make healthier eating/nutrition and exercise choices. Book the entire 10-week series and save $250!

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. In July 2019 she was voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2019

Suggestibility, Sexuality and Psychological Issues

(This blog was originally posted on June 16, 2016)

Photo by Rick Hustead

According to John Kappas, Ph.D., Emotional and Physical sexuality and Emotional and Physical suggestibility characteristics dominate different psychological symptoms or disorders. To treat the specific problem, you must address the issue in the context of the sexuality/suggestibility of the client when the symptoms began, the Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder explained.

“Emotionals tend to have more emotional problems and Physicals tend to have more physical problems,” Dr. Kappas said. Following is a list of issues or disorders and the suggestibility/sexuality with which it most often corresponds.

Issue	Suggestibility or Sexuality
Dissociation	Somnambulist (50/50 suggestibility, sexuality)
Explosive Personality Disorder	High Physical Sexual, but high Emotional Sexuality is also associated because of ego sensation
Phobia	Emotional Suggestible, Emotional Sexual
Loss	Physical Suggestible, Physical Sexual
Stutter/speech	50/50 suggestibility
Psychosexual disorders	Emotional Suggestible, 50/50 Emotional Sexual
Compulsive gambling	50/50 suggestibility, Physical/Emotional sexuality
Most compulsive behavior	Extreme Emotional Sexual behavior
Exhibitionism	Physical Suggestible
Masochism	Physical Suggestible
Pyromania	Somnambulist (50/50 suggestibility, sexuality)
Kleptomania	Physical Suggestible, Physical Sexual
Homosexuality	Physical Sexual males, Emotional Sexual females re: relationship issues
Male sexual dysfunction	Emotional Sexual
Repetitive words, involuntary movements	Physical Suggestible, Emotional Sexual
Pain alleviation	Physical Suggestible, Physical Sexual
Weight control	Physical Suggestible, Physical Sexual (Individual needs physical gratification, which leads to tendency to put on weight.)
Anorexia	Emotional Sexual, but bad eating habits can change suggestibility.
Bulimia	Physical Sexual (habit disorder)
Fear of contamination	Emotional Sexual

“Some personalities dominate problems and therapies, but Emotional and Physical Sexual personalities are both capable of having these problems,” the hypnotherapist said. “If you don’t consider primary/secondary cause hypnotherapy may be a one-shot treatment (e.g., desensitization for fear of flying), but what you’re really doing is transferring energy, because fear of flying doesn’t exist alone in a vacuum,” he said.

California law allows me to provide hypnotherapy as a complementary or alternative treatment to help you achieve vocational and avocational self-improvement goals (Business and Professions Code 2908). In any other case—including many of the ones listed above—I must receive a referral from a licensed medical doctor or mental-health professional in order to work with you on that issue.

Summer Promotion: Hypnosis for Weight Loss

Let the power of your subconscious mind help you release extra weight and increase your motivation to make healthier eating/nutrition and exercise choices. Book the entire 10-week series and save $250!

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. In July 2019 she was voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2019