Fear of Being Alone

(This blog was originally posted on October 28, 2016)

Photo by Rick Hustead

If there is no specific cause for being afraid of being alone—for example, a specific traumatic incident that threatened the person, such as a physical attack—the individual may have agoraphobia. The late Dr. Ron Hodges, a psychiatrist and colleague of Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D., and former director of the Atlanta, Georgia branch of HMI, contended that fear of being alone is many people’s Number One Fear. Since this reaction is often associated with low blood-sugar levels, it is imperative for the hypnotherapist to address this issue before working with the client to alleviate the actual fear or phobia.

“[Fear of being alone] is an irrational fear based on physical sensations,” Dr. Kappas explained. “You think something will happen to you.” These include irregular heartbeat, dizziness, shaking, confusion, increased suggestibility and anxiety or panic. But the related anxiety of losing control, which is triggered by these physiological sensations, forms the basis of this fear. Once better nutrition is established and the person’s blood-sugar levels are stabilized, the hypnotherapist must teach the client face the fear of being alone. This is accomplished by demonstrating how to induce and ameliorate the physical symptoms that come up whenever he or she thinks about situations that typically trigger fear.

“Desensitize the physical feelings for every situation you feel the fear. It’s got nothing to do with the event,” he said. Remember that it can take some time—months or even years—until the person can completely overcome this fear, Dr. Kappas warned.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2017

More Dressage Training Tips From Charlotte Dujardin: For the Rider

(This blog was originally posted on October 3, 2016)

Photo by Sara Fogan

On March 8, 2014 and March 9, 2014, I audited a dressage symposium at the Los Angeles Equestrian Center in Burbank, California. Charlotte Dujardin, the Olympic 2012 and 2016 Olympic British individual gold medalist in dressage and reigning world champion in the sport, was the featured clinician. She and her former trainer, International Grand Prix champion Judy Harvey, shared their expertise with six accomplished equestrians and their equally impressive horses to work through specific training issues. Following are more tips and training insights about what to look for in a young horse/competitive dressage prospect that Ms. Dujardin shared during these clinics, which you might find helpful too.

• There is a saying that practice makes perfect, but the truth is that perfect practice makes perfect performance. Bad habits form very easily, so it is important to do and teach your horse to do the movement right in the first place. Moral of the story: “Nine times out of 10, riders who do bad transitions at home will do bad transitions in a competition. Always practice doing good transitions,” Ms. Dujardin cautioned. “Do good transitions as if your life depended on it.”

• The Olympic champion emphasized the importance of using clear and natural aids when teaching transitions. “Lose the whip! The horse must know to go off the leg,” she said. “Soften your hands. You’ve got to let go and then press to get the other gears.”

•  A common error/reaction when asking for a bigger stride or an up transition is to inadvertently shut down this process. “When you ask a horse to go [forward], let him go!” the Olympian encouraged. Whether you are doing up or down transitions, the horse must always be waiting for the rider’s instructions what to do next,

• If you hold the reins too tightly you are likely to make your horse tight and nervous, Ms. Dujardin said. “You should be able to relax your hands and the horse should be able to continue the movement without you holding her in,” You hold the horse with your seat and legs, not the reins, she said. Riders must also be careful not to shorten the neck too much when rounding the horse, she added. “He needs his neck for balance.”

• Keep your horse interested in his training by including hacks (trail rides) and a day completely off in a pasture. “It is very important for the horse to have time off/switch-off periods.” For example, the Grand Prix horses that Charlotte Dujardin trains typically go on 20-minute trail rides before spending 15 to 20 minutes warming up, followed by a schooling session. While older horses work for 40-45 minutes schooling session, the training repertoire for younger horses is considerably shorter: they work for a maximum of 30 minutes with plenty of walk breaks, she said.

• No matter what level you are training, always reward your horse for doing good work during his training. The reward for good collection work is a long rein so he can stretch his neck. “Be sure to reward the horse when he does something right or you will get a sour/unwilling horse,” she warned.

• If your horse is spooky, don’t make an issue about what is setting him off, Ms. Dujardin advised. Instead, “Ignore it and use leg-yielding into the object rather than away. If you beat the horse up for spooking at something, you give him more reason to avoid it.” Continue to practice riding a line toward the object that is acceptable to the horse so he can get used to what scared him until it is no longer an issue. “Over time, you build a bond with the horse and give him confidence to deal with whatever until eventually he will walk through fire for you. You know you have a real connection with your horse when you feel him relax under you when he was scared of something.”

• The horse needs to be in front of your leg to maintain suspension in the gait. “Rhythm and balance makes good movement,” she said.

• “Don’t punish a good horse by making him practice one movement over and over.”

• Think of the walk as a movement. It has a double co-efficient, after all! “It is equally important to work on the walk as any other gait. It is not a chance to goof off,” Ms. Dujardin said.

I will share more of her horse-training and riding suggestions in future blogs.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2017

Thoughts of the Day

     Every now and then I like (and need) to take a few moments and remind myself about what is really important to me, in my life. If you follow me on my Calminsense Hypnotherapy Facebook page you may have seen some of these quotes before on this page, or will in the future. Many of these Quotes of the Day are beautiful examples and illustrations of the work I do as a hypnotherapist, so I will probably draw on them in future essays.

• “One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his greatest surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn’t.” – Henry Ford

• “Success is the result of good judgement, which is the result of experience, experience is often the result of bad judgement.” – Tony Robbins

• “Happiness is not a goal...it’s a by-product of a life well lived.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

• “We never lose, we never fail, we always learn.” – Lolly Daskal

• “As long as you have certain desires about how it ought to be, you can’t see how it is.” – Ram Dass

• “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” – Thomas Edison

• “If somebody offers you a great opportunity and you’re not sure if you can do it, say yes—then learn how to do it later.” – Richard Branson

• “We’d achieve more if we chased our dreams instead of our competition.” – Simon Sinek

• “Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.” – Khalil Gibran

• “Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.” –  Albert Einstein

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

Blowing Bubbles

(This blog was originally posted on September 28, 2016)

Image courtesy of Microsoft

The thought of bubbles makes me smile. I would even go so far as to say that it’s impossible to think or say the word “bubbles” without feeling a grin begin to form at the corner of my mouth. It doesn’t take long after that for me to feel lighter and less stressed. As the image of that bubble takes form in my mind, whatever was worrying or annoying me a minute ago starts to disappear.

I think bubble imagery is a great stress-relieving technique for several reasons. First: in nature bubbles are composed of two elements: air and water (or some other liquid). We all need air to breathe, so the physical form of a bubble is a great inference or metaphor for this behavior/response. The slow, deep breaths of diaphragmatic breathing and the more forceful action of power breathing are simple techniques I teach my hypnotherapy clients to help them relax and release stress/anxiety and negative emotions. 

Second: bubbles are moved by the air, whether that is through our breath or simply being lifted up and carried by a breeze or air currents blowing through a ventilation system. The pocket of air within the thin film of water that envelopes it makes the bubble buoyant as it floats and bobs its way along its seemingly invisible path. Bubbles do not seem to travel in a purposeful direction; they just exist for a brief amount of time and just travel with the flow of activity around them. Wouldn’t it be marvelous to feel and be so carefree, if only for a little while?

Third: the image, sensation and sound of water—whether it is the ocean, a stream or a placid lake—are very soothing and relaxing for many people. The fact that there are two molecules of oxygen (air) in each drop of water reinforces the subconscious association with breathing. Meanwhile, the soft form of a bubble drifting through the air is so whimsical that it is easy to get temporarily distracted and from what’s going on around us temporarily get carried away on its short journey.

Next time you find that you are annoyed, frustrated or stressed out about something, give yourself permission to take a couple seconds’ imaginary journey with some bubbles. It doesn’t matter what kind of bubbles you envision. Perhaps you are thinking of the tiny, fragrant and frothy suds in a bubble bath or the ones you create in a kids’ bubble-blowing kit. Draw in a long, deep breath and slowly, gently release the air through your mouth. Visualize, imagine, picture or pretend that you are blowing some bath bubbles off the top of the tub or creating the largest bubble you ever made using the straw in the bubble kit. The goal is to keep the bubble form as long as possible before it naturally disintegrates in the air. To do this, make sure that your exhale is just strong enough to send the bubbles aloft/create the shape without being so forceful that it pops right away. When the bubble finally does pop, visualize, imagine, picture or pretend that you are also watching the release of any negative energy, stress or anxiety you have been carrying around. Then take another deep breath, drawing in confidence and relaxation in your knowledge that this unwanted negativity is gone can no longer affect you or anyone else.

Now, go blow some bubbles!

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2017