Stop Negative Self-Talk

(This blog was originally posted on January 17, 2014)

 

Image courtesy of Microsoft

     From time to time, in a moment of frustration or anger or even fear, we say something negative and hurtful to someone very close to us. The incident that sparked the outburst may turn out to be inconsequential, but in that instant there is nothing more important or urgent than giving that other person a piece of our mind for causing so much trouble in the first place. We can always apologize and make amends to the other person once tempers have cooled down and the issue is resolved. But, what if the person you are so mad at is you? Do you apologize for the hurtful things you have said or thought about you, to yourself?

     According to John Kappas, Ph.D., the subconscious mind works on expectation and imagination. Over time, we learn to expect others to respond to and interact with us in a particular way based on our previous experience with those individuals. We also learn to internalize the message or emotion we perceive in those interactions, which can affect self-confidence and self-esteem. No matter what the “message” is, as you hear and repeat it to yourself your subconscious mind starts to internalize and believe that message. If people in your social circle constantly bombard you with criticism and negativity, perhaps it is time to change who you hang out with. If you are the one trash-talking yourself, it is time to rewrite your subconscious mental script to be ­­­more loving and accepting of yourself.

      During hypnosis, I teach my clients simple breathing and relaxation techniques by which to dial down or even turn off the negative self-talk. I also desensitize my clients to the stimuli that typically trigger their self-criticism and self-reproach. Finally, I use therapeutic guided-imagery techniques to enable my clients to find solutions for those situations and then visualize, imagine, picture or pretend that they have successfully resolved a conflict with self-confidence and self-love.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

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