Are You Ready?

 (This blog was originally posted on March 23, 2014)

 

Image courtesy of Microsoft

When we are children, it seemed as though nothing can happen soon enough. Whether we were looking forward to our next birthday, Christmas or Chanukah, summer vacation or any number of events during the year, all we had to do was wait for the next occasion to occur to enjoy some kind of reward. We didn’t even have to do anything in particular to get to that next big event, either; it just magically happened whether or not we were particularly engaged in the process. Of course, even when we tried to preoccupy ourselves with hobbies, spending time with friends or doing homework or chores, it took forever for the next milestone to roll around. Once our 16^th birthday came around we were automatically eligible to take a driving test and get that coveted driver’s license. Sure, we had to put in some hours behind the wheel with a driving instructor and study a handbook—a few of us remember practicing on driving simulators in high school—but that wasn’t work; it was a rite of passage. Two years later we could vote; at 21, we could legally buy and drink alcohol.

But as adults, opportunities and events rarely drop into our laps that way anymore. We usually have to put in a lot of work and have a lot of motivation to reach a goal or milestone. Also, there is no specific timeline when you can expect to reap the rewards of all your efforts. Days, weeks, months and even years can pass without making any obvious progress toward our goal; it is easy to become frustrated and even disillusioned about when/whether/if we will ever get our next “break.” An immediate, successful outcome is no longer guaranteed. Sometimes life steps in and replaces the original goal and desired outcome with something better than you could have ever dreamed of.

Consequently, one of the biggest challenges many of us face is being patient with ourselves as we strive to achieve a new goal. Even though we “know” that we have to work hard to achieve a goal, your subconscious mind learned and remembers that some things do just come to us without much effort: our birthday still comes around every year, whether we want it to or not; and fairy-tales about a prince coming to rescue his damsel in distress (you, me?) were ingrained in many people’s minds and fantasies from a very young age. I enjoy helping people work to achieve new goals because this is a rare opportunity for them to learn how to slow down and take stock of all areas of their lives, not just the goal they are striving to achieve. For example, as you pursue that promotion at work are you compromising your health by getting little or no sleep and poor nutrition? The physical consequences of these behaviors could affect your perception, mood and ability to focus or problem-solve, which could inadvertently jeopardize your chances of being promoted. Are you so focused on completing that project that you neglect relationships with or responsibility to family or friends? Are you so focused on attracting that perfect partner that you pay no attention to your professional goals and other social bonds? Where and how will your goal, once it is accomplished, fit and balance with other important areas of your life? Hypnotherapy and therapeutic-guided imagery provide great opportunities to explore these issues and create strategies for achieving and enjoying these accomplishments when they (finally) occur.

I recently read a message on Facebook that Chris Cox, an acclaimed horseman and one of my role models, posted to his followers about finding balance in his professional and personal life. Mr. Cox wrote about all of the years he spent working and building his horsemanship company, traveling all over the world and working so hard to get where he is today. In the past few years, he has gotten married and now has two little children—the family he wanted for so long. He finished the post by saying that he loves what he does and he is proud of the company he built; but he also wants to spend time with and enjoying his beloved family.

These sentiments perfectly sum up what I am talking about: There comes a time in our lives when we do have to work very hard and sometimes for a very long time to achieve a goal and live the dream we spent so long only imagining and waiting for. But while we are working and dreaming, life goes on. Plans, goals and even new dreams are realized, and we have to be ready and willing to welcome these experiences into our lives, too.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

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