Welcome

Tuesday, April 4, 2023

Different Therapeutic Approaches to Treat Fears vs. Phobias

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE!

(This blog was originally posted on September 19, 2016)

Photo by Rick Hustead

Fears and phobias/anxiety may reflect similar feelings, but they are actually separate conditions that require different treatments. According to Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D., when you have a fear of something, you can attribute the reaction to the memory of a specific incident—usually one that occurred during childhood. Conversely, the phobia is typically associated with a sudden drop in blood-sugar level that triggers physiological symptoms including shaking, weakness, confusion, anxiety and even paranoia that have nothing to do with what a specific environmental trigger. However, the resulting subconscious fear of loss of control or even death becomes attributed to that trigger (e.g., fear of flying, insects) because that is the only explicable source of anxiety, according to the conscious mind.

Both therapies entail educating the individual about the role of nutrition in exacerbating or even triggering the initial fear/phobic response during the cognitive/alert portion of the session. Most important, the hypnotherapist must help the client realize and believe that the person is able to control this reaction. Having said that, each response (fear versus phobia) requires a different hypnotherapeutic approach to achieve this outcome.

Circle therapy enables the person to progressively experience more intense fear reactions during hypnosis and then “pass” through it (relax) to a deeper state of hypnosis. Post-hypnotic suggestions reinforce that the individual is able to control this fear in this way and that the fear response is no longer a necessary part of his or her life. The best way to face a fear is to face it down, Dr. Kappas advised. “Face it by realizing you yourself can create it. You’re not facing the fear, you’re facing the feeling,” he explained.

Conversely, phobias start from physiological feelings that the person fears will result in loss of control or even death. While this reaction can be triggered by dreams or stress, it’s generally an illogical fear response and not based on personal experience. The best way to treat a phobia is by using systematic desensitization and double-bind techniques that work together to gradually reduce the negative association/response while making the response increasingly difficult to experience. Circle therapy is not used to work through a phobia because the technique can reinforce or even exacerbate the negative response.

However, a long-held fear can also morph into agoraphobia, or a fear of open spaces, Dr. Kappas warned. It is possible to manage agoraphobia through diet/nutrition, a therapeutic approach that is recommended and effective to control other phobias. It is important to deal with any relapse of the original fear right away and then start dealing with anticipatory anxiety about experiencing that fear, which has likely developed through the agoraphobic response.

April Promotion: Hypnosis to Stop Smoking! $800 for six, weekly sessions lasting approximately one hour each week. This is a $100 savings! (A la carte sessions cost $150 each.) In addition, I will waive the $200 fee for the separate First Session if you purchase and book the six-week package up front.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

Monday, April 3, 2023

Have a Nice Day!

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE!

(This blog was originally posted on January 25, 2016)

“When the world gets in my way I say, ‘Have a nice day!’” – Bon Jovi, “Have a Nice Day”

Image courtesy of Microsoft

What do you do when everything seems to go wrong in your day? I pondered this question while driving home from the barn this afternoon when “Have a Nice Day” by Bon Jovi came up on my playlist. It is so easy to internalize the frustration and run the unending loop of self-recrimination or to blame others when a plan doesn’t work out the way we plan or want it to.

Some people yell. Others get in their car and take a fast (and sometimes reckless) drive in the hope of blowing off some steam. It is always tempting and too easy to channel frustration and take it out on the next person you see, such as give the barista at Starbucks® a hard time for getting your order wrong. It is usually a little more challenging to just let go of your immediate (and usually transitory) angst to focus on what is actually going right in your day.

The late Dr. John Kappas, founder of the Hypnosis Motivation Institute, used to include the following suggestion in many hypnotic scripts: I like it. It was (and is) a great motivator when you are learning a new behavior, such as politely refusing dessert after a meal to comply with your weight-loss program. Even when something “goes wrong” or does not fulfill your expectations or desires, this simple suggestion enables you to open your eyes to the opportunities this inconvenience could yield. So, you burned the special meal you spent all day preparing for that special someone? Yes, that is inconvenient and frustrating. However, Dr. Kappas’s suggestion facilitated a new attitude and ability to see an opportunity in the experience—a shared laugh or maybe even an impromptu, very romantic picnic of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on the living-room floor.

So, someone cut you off on the freeway and prevented you from getting off the highway at your intended exit? Once again, this new attitude of “liking it” enables you to pass the negative emotion (frustration) and continue on your way. Who knows, your unintended detour might steer you clear of a traffic jam further up the road on your intended route that might have also added even more time to your original journey.

Many of us have experienced a situation in which someone seems to be taking out his or her frustrations on us. This person hasn’t learned the power of Dr. Kappas’s nifty little trick of “liking it” and instead tries to feel better by making things more difficult or awkward for others. That’s okay. You can still turn the potentially unpleasant situation around by reminding yourself that you like what is happening because it the situation is giving you a new perspective/experience that you can learn and grow from. Then, as Bon Jovi does in their hit song titled Have a Nice Day, politely tell the person to have a nice day and walk away. It is impossible to experience two opposite emotions at the same time: e.g., anxiety versus relaxation, frustration versus optimism. Ultimately, saying and believing “I like it!” and expressing a positive outlook and sentiments for others enables you to improve the situation for yourself by finding opportunities where someone else may only see obstacles.

April Promotion: Hypnosis to Stop Smoking!

$800 for six, weekly sessions lasting approximately one hour each week. This is a $100 savings! (A la carte sessions cost $150 each.) In addition, I will waive the $200 fee for the separate First Session if you purchase and book the six-week package up front.

Thursday, March 30, 2023

Defense Mechanism: Withdrawal

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE!

(This blog was originally posted on January 5, 2015)

Photo by Rick Hustead

Have you ever ignored or tried to “freeze out” or just stop talking to someone you are arguing with once emotions start running high? Has your spouse, partner or friend ever done this to you? Sometimes people avoid visiting or contacting someone who is seriously or even terminally ill as a means of denying the seriousness of the disease and protecting yourself from experiencing any emotional distress that this contact may trigger in you. These scenarios are examples of withdrawal, a powerful defense mechanism in which a person shuts off communication with another individual or even physically withdraws from an unpleasant circumstance as a means of self-protection.

Like other defense mechanisms, withdrawal is: 1) unconscious; 2) self-deceptive; 3) and it distorts reality through thoughts and action. “Change is a threat to the subconscious mind,” said John Kappas, Ph.D. According to the Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder’s Theory of Mind, people are subconsciously motivated to maintain and/or restore a known physical and emotional status of comfort and security. Whenever someone says or does something that causes physical injury, hurts your feelings or challenges your beliefs, the mind automatically tries to compensate for this threat or “pain” by activating this or another form of defense mechanism.

To help a client work through this defense mechanism, I would start by asking about the nature of the fear and how this fear is negatively affecting your daily life and interactions with others. Do you withdraw from others during an argument to avoid having to face the negative implications of “losing” the debate or being wrong about a philosophical opinion? Once you have identified the specific motivation behind the avoidance, in hypnosis I would desensitize you to those negative associations and employ guided-imagery techniques so you could imagine how it would feel to listen to a different opinion and be open to learning something new.

In another example, if you are emotionally withdrawing from or avoiding a terminally ill relative because you don't want to face her own mortality, I would explore your conceptions about death and dying and what losing this person means/would mean to you. To further help prepare you for visiting the patient, I would desensitize you to hear fear/anxiety and any expectations or ideas you may have about the person’s illness and any expectations you hold about what you might perceive or experience during the interaction. I would use guided-imagery techniques to help you imagine feeling calm, comfortable and relaxed during your interactions with the person so you can enjoy the time you spend together.

Wednesday, March 29, 2023

Defense Mechanisms: Undoing and Magical Thinking

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE!

(This blog was originally posted on October 7, 2014)

Photo courtesy of Microsoft

My great-grandmother used to spit three times or throw salt over her shoulder if anyone said something that could be perceived as wishing bad fortune on another person or situation. Some people say “knock wood” or literally rap their knuckles on a wood surface to prevent an unwanted event. Others wash their hands or mime this behavior as if to cleanse themselves of an event or relationship they don’t want to be associated with. Many kids still make the “cross my heart” pledge to keep a secret or what have you. (In keeping with my grandma’s fear of tempting fate, I always left off the “and hope to die” part.) Each of these behaviors is an example of a defense mechanism, undoing, whereby a person performs some kind of ritual or gesture to negate the likelihood or power of a potential consequence of a behavior or belief.

Similarly, magical thinking is another form of defense mechanism that entails creating associations—usually imagined and typically based in superstition—between an event and a behavior. There is a great scene in the 1990 film, Betsy’s Wedding, in which Betsy’s dad (Alan Alda) is shooting basketball hoops as he repeats the mantra, “If I make this basket, it will be a great day.” When he missed the basket, he keeps throwing that basketball at the net until (finally) the ball goes in and he feels relieved that he might have a good day. Other examples of magical thinking include the old adages about breaking your mother’s back if you step on a crack in the pavement or being cursed with bad luck if you walk under a ladder—seven years of it if you break a mirror. Neither undoing nor magical thinking truly has the ability to shield or protect a person from whatever consequence he or she believes could occur if the behavior is not performed. However, every time the possible consequence is avoided by performing the action reinforces the person’s belief in its effectiveness, which further encourages the person to keep repeating that behavior until he or she achieves the desired result.

These and other defense mechanisms are strategies that enable a person to cope with a stressful situation in his or her life. Like other defense mechanisms, undoing and magical thinking are characterized by the following traits: 1) they are unconscious; 2) they are self-deceptive; 3) they contain elements of denial; 4) they distort reality through thoughts and action. Whenever we “avoid” suffering a possible consequence by performing that action, this success reinforces our belief (subconscious mental script) in the effectiveness of that ritual. This success also encourages us to repeat that behavior to avoid negative outcomes in other areas of our life.

Defense mechanisms are fabulous temporary devices that can help us achieve such security. Undoing rituals such as throwing salt over the shoulder, knocking on wood, and crossing the heart with the promise “and hope to die” should this vow be broken are great examples of learned (and therefore known) behaviors. According to John Kappas, Ph.D.’s Theory of Mind, everyone is subconsciously motivated to maintain and/or restore a known physical and emotional status of comfort and security. Since the subconscious mind is motivated and even programmed to seek this comfort, we may adopt those defense-mechanism behaviors because we learned them from someone whom we trust who does or used to do the same thing. However, the primary role of a defense mechanism is to protect the subconscious mind from what it perceives as a threat or “pain” of having to deal with an unknown. These behaviors only provide a temporary perception of control over the environment. Eventually, we must deal with and resolve the primary issue that has triggered the defense mechanism to achieve personal growth.

Tuesday, March 28, 2023

Defense Mechanisms: Projection and Projection Identification

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE!

(This blog was originally posted on September 22, 2014)

Photo by Rick Hustead

Defense mechanisms are strategies to cope with a stressful situation in our lives. Furthermore, at some point in our lives almost everyone uses one to ameliorate an undesirable reaction to an unpleasant circumstance. However, these defense mechanisms provide us only a temporary perception of control over the environment. Eventually, we must address and resolve the primary issue that has triggered the defense mechanism to achieve personal growth.

A common defense mechanism for handling a distressing situation is to direct our attention and project blame for our emotions about the stressful situation onto other people: projection and projection identification. For example, an individual may accuse a colleague of “hating” her for no reason when she actually has the negative feelings toward the other person (projection). In another example, a man who is tempted to be unfaithful in a relationship may suspect or even blame his spouse of infidelity (projection identification). Why go to these extremes and just admit the truth?

These (and all other) defense mechanisms share four common traits: 1) they are unconscious; 2) they are self-deceptive; 3) they contain elements of denial; 4) they distort reality through thoughts and action. Their primarily role is to protect the subconscious mind from what it perceives as a threat or “pain.” In this case, the pain would be caused by our peers negatively judging our attitudes or behavior that contradicts acceptable beliefs or behaviors: e.g., unethical behavior or unacceptable feelings toward others. Rather than risk this negative response, accusing someone else of engaging in the undesirable behavior not only protects us but may even attract further (and deeper) acceptance and support from our social group.

According to John Kappas, Ph.D.’s Theory of Mind, we are all subconsciously motivated to maintain and/or restore a known physical and emotional status of comfort and security. In this case, social acceptance represents pleasure, whereas criticism and potential rejection from our peers are pain. Since the subconscious mind is motivated and even programmed to seek the pleasure stimuli, we may adopt these defense mechanisms to literally “defend” against potential social rejection (pain). By creating an imagined scenario such as perceived persecution by a peer or spousal infidelity, the subconscious mind enables us to rail against an imagined threat to help control the unwanted emotions we feel at that moment.

Thursday, March 23, 2023

Defense Mechanism: Intellectualization

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE!

(This blog was originally posted on January 20, 2016)

Image courtesy of Microsoft

Sometimes we subconsciously intellectualize or try to “explain away” our feelings to temporarily “escape” the perceived/anticipated consequences of experiencing a painful emotion. Instead of feeling frustrated, disappointed or even angry when a plan doesn’t work out, the subconscious mind comes up with a list of explanations why the plan wouldn’t succeed. Rather than allow ourselves to feel or express sadness when a loved one dies, we tell ourselves that this is better because the person is no longer suffering/in pain, etc. This response, Intellectualization, is a powerful defense mechanism that people often use to escape or avoid feeling emotional pain. Rather than feel the emotion associated with an uncomfortable or painful experience, the feelings are transferred into the intellect where they feeling can be explained away rather than experienced.

Like other defense mechanisms I have explained in previous blogs about defense mechanisms, Intellectualization is characterized by the following traits: 1) it is unconscious; 2) it is self-deceptive; 3) it contains elements of denial; and 4) it distorts reality through thoughts and action. Whenever we seem to “avoid” suffering a possible consequence by analyzing and explaining away a feeling, the apparent success of this technique (i.e., suppressed crying or rage) reinforces our belief (subconscious mental script) in the effectiveness of that strategy. The more successful this technique is, the more likely the person is to intellectualize emotions to repress these uncomfortable feelings at other times during their life.

Remember, defense mechanisms are fabulous temporary devices that can help us achieve such security. According to John Kappas, Ph.D.’s Theory of Mind, everyone is subconsciously motivated to maintain and/or restore a known physical and emotional status of comfort and security. Since the subconscious mind is motivated and even programmed to seek this comfort, we may adopt those defense-mechanism behaviors because we learned them from someone whom we trust who does or used to do the same thing. The primary role of a defense mechanism is to protect the subconscious mind from what it perceives as a threat or “pain” of having to deal with an unknown. These behaviors only provide a temporary perception of control over the environment. Eventually, we must deal with and resolve the primary issue that has triggered the defense mechanism to achieve personal growth.

Just like other defense mechanisms, Intellectualization is characterized by a specific behavior or attitude of the person. In this case, the “tell” is, the disconnect that exists between what the client is telling me about an emotional experience and the individual’s facial expression. Also, rather than describing emotions or feelings associated with the event, the person will explain what he or she thought/thinks about the situation. At this point, it is important for me to “bust” or dismantle this emotional disconnect. In so doing, the client is able give her- or himself permission to feel and experience as many of those emotions as the individual can handle while in hypnosis.

For more information about defense mechanisms, I invite you to read my other blogs about this topic: Defense Mechanisms: Projection and Projection Identification; Defense Mechanisms: Undoing and Magical Thinking; Defense Mechanisms: Denial; Defense Mechanisms: Turning Against Self; The Reaction Formation; and Going for Cause.

Wednesday, March 22, 2023

Defense Mechanisms: Denial

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE!

(This blog was originally posted on December 10, 2015)

Photo by Rick Hustead

A baseball player rejects the doctor’s diagnosis that his injured shoulder will never again be strong enough to pitch on a Major League Baseball team, and has his agent contact various team to promote his case. A man refuses to believe that he is terminally ill and books a Mediterranean cruise for Christmas 2023. A mother continues to set a place for her teenage daughter at the dinner table even though the girl ran away six years ago and has never contacted her family since she left home. You continue to wear your wedding band and talk about your husband, even though your spouse has served you with divorce papers two weeks ago.

These are examples of denial, a defense mechanism in which the mind blocks external events from entering our awareness by abolishing (negating) their very existence to reduce fear of the unknown (“pain”). Like other defense mechanisms, denial is: 1) unconscious; 2) self-deceptive; 3) and it distorts reality through thoughts and action. “Change is a threat to the subconscious mind,” said John Kappas, Ph.D. According to the Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder’s Theory of Mind, we are subconsciously motivated to maintain and/or restore a known physical and emotional status of comfort and security. The primary role of a defense mechanism is to protect the subconscious mind from what it perceives as a threat or “pain” of having to deal with an unknown.

It is possible to successfully “avoid” suffering emotional pain by temporarily ignoring or refusing to accept its existence, and such denial can go on for a very long time. However, our level of success (comfort) in negating an unpleasant event or emotion can only exist as long as we continue to believe our subconscious deception. Over time, becomes increasingly difficult to nurture this defense mechanism as we continue to perceive and process more and more information (message units) to contradict our fictional reality. Eventually, we must address the primary issue that has triggered the defense mechanism in order to resolve it and achieve personal growth.