Just Say "No"!

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

(This blog was originally posted on April 23, 2014)

 

Photo by Rick Hustead

 

 

Elton John sings, “‘Sorry’ seems to be the hardest word.” That may be true; but ‘no’—the key word in assertiveness, in my opinion—is right up there in the Number Two position of difficulty for so many people to say, especially females. I often wonder why that is. Perhaps it has to do with the texture of the words, themselves. The definite, hard consonant “n” and then a long “o” gives the pronunciation and enunciation of no a cold, harsh sound. In comparison, the sometimes-vowel “y” and short “e”, and the soft, drawn out “s” when we say yes create an almost musical or lyrical sound. “Yes” is a nice word to hear and say.

This point brings me to the implication and connotations associated with each of these words. From early childhood, we learn to associate positive emotions and experiences—such as presents, treats, and rewards—with yes. Conversely, adherence to strict rules, criticism and/or punishment tend to go with no. What child has not categorized a parent, guardian or teacher who says yes a lot as being “nice” compared to the adult who expects Johnny and Sue to be on their best behavior and do their homework before they get to go outside to play? Even in adulthood, it is natural to prefer the company of someone who does what we like and want them to do compared to an individual who will not go along with our plans or desires just to please us unless doing so will also benefit the other person. In the heat of the moment, it is impossible to understand the motives and inner fortitude of people who can say “no” without blinking an eye and refuse to back down: how come they are so stubborn?  Sometimes, we even resent them for their willingness to stand up and fight for their beliefs, especially when this stance blocks or interferes with our plans. And yet, these are the people many of us secretly admire and want to be like.

Self-confidence and self-esteem are key components behind the willingness to say yes and the ability to say no. Neither trait is automatic, nor are they mutually inclusive: It is possible to be very confident but have very low self-esteem (self-value), and vice versa. When I work with a client to help the person become more assertive, one of the first things I do is assess and, if necessary, increase the person’s self-confidence and strengthen his or her self-esteem. This work is imperative because it shores up the person’s defenses against negative self-chatter and suggestibility to other people’s criticism as he or she works to achieve this vocational and avocational self-improvement goal. Next, I use relaxation and therapeutic guided-imagery techniques in hypnosis to help the person rehearse using the assertive behaviors. This exercise not only creates a new known in the subconscious mind that he or she can be assertive, it reinforces the person’s confidence that he or she can use this new skill effectively and successfully in the real world.

No isn’t so hard to say, after all.

 

Special Offer: Free 30-Minute Phone or Zoom Consultation

This is a great opportunity to find out why hypnosis is so effective and how hypnotherapy can help you achieve your self-improvement goals. Call or text me at (661) 433-9430 or send me an e-mail at calminsensehypnosis@yahoo.com to set up your free, 30-minute phone or Zoom consultation* today! 

*This is not a full hypnotherapy session. Hypnosis will not be provided during this consultation. This offer is not redeemable for cash and may not be combined with any other promotion.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2023

 

Body Syndromes

 I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 

(This blog was originally posted on April 20, 2014)

 

Photo by Rick Hustead

 

 

               According to John Kappas, Ph.D., whenever a person represses or holds in (does not express) an emotion the displaced energy from that experience is converted into a physical “symptom” of that emotional trauma. Even though there are no nerve endings in the brain, emotions in the brain through our perceptions (e.g., smell, taste, sight, hearing, touch). Electric impulses carry this information through the body and begin to manifest physical discomfort in those areas that are specifically associated with a certain repressed emotion, the Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder stated. The five basic body syndromes are:

•      Crying Syndrome (affects the neck, chest and head): What do you want to say or express?
•      Fight/Reaching Syndrome (affects the arms and hands): What do you want to defend yourself from? What are you reaching for?
•      Flight Syndrome (affects the legs and feet): What do you feel you need to run away from?
•      Guilt/Sexual Frustration Syndrome (affects areas and organs around the waist, lower back and hips): What do you feel guilty about? What is going on in your relationship?
•      Responsibility Syndrome (affects areas and organs around the shoulders and upper back): What do you feel responsible for?

              

As a certified hypnotherapist, it is out of my scope of expertise to diagnose an illness or to recognize/identify specific symptoms that have a psychological or physiological basis (California Business and Professions Code 2908). Therefore, I do and will refer clients to an appropriate licensed medical or psychology professional to determine the cause and/or treat that specific physical symptom that. However, once this other expert has ruled out a medical etiology of your symptom, with a follow-up referral from that licensed professional, I can continue to work with you in hypnotherapy, which can provide complementary therapeutic benefits and help to alleviate and/or control these symptoms and help you to pursue and achieve your vocational and avocational self-improvement goals.

 

 

Special Offer: Free 30-Minute Phone or Zoom Consultation

This is a great opportunity to find out why hypnosis is so effective and how hypnotherapy can help you achieve your self-improvement goals. Call or text me at (661) 433-9430 or send me an e-mail at calminsensehypnosis@yahoo.com to set up your free, 30-minute phone or Zoom consultation* today! 

*This is not a full hypnotherapy session. Hypnosis will not be provided during this consultation. This offer is not redeemable for cash and may not be combined with any other promotion.

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2023

 

 

Making Friends

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 

(This blog was originally posted on April 30, 2014)

Photo by Rick Hustead

 

 

“There are no strangers here; only friends we haven’t met yet.” – Irish proverb

 

   It can be challenging—and stressful—to enter an unfamiliar social environment. Whether it is your first day of college, you are starting a new job or have just joined a special-interest group Facebook, the prospect of introducing yourself and striking up a conversation with a stranger can be daunting. Everything is an unknown entity, from the linoleum tiles on the break-room floor to operating the copying machine to learning the organizations rules and bylaws. Furthermore, most if not all of the other employees or group members already know each other and are familiar with how the organization is run. They have probably already created friendships or even cliques in that group. In addition to an obvious group leader, such as a teacher or department supervisor, another member may also occupy an unofficial, self-appointed leadership role and help to “run” the organization when the boss is not around. As you become familiar with your new role and responsibility in the group and learn (and try to remember) everyone’s names, you wonder: Now that I am “in” this organization, how do I truly join it?

   Even if you feel shy, even if you feel unsure, remember this fact: every other person in this group has likely been where you are and felt like this at some point. Consequently, most if not all of your team will make an effort to include you and help to make you feel comfortable and welcome in the organization. On my first day working as a proofreader at a national martial arts magazine, the editorial team took me out for a pizza lunch.

  Go out of your way to make conversation and reciprocate gestures of kindness. For example, one of the assistant editors at the magazine created a seating chart for me to indicate the workstations of everyone in the company. She even included the names of the men who ran the warehouse, the accountant and art-project coordinators who worked off-site. I was so touched and inspired by this gesture that I created a similar seating chart to help out every other new employee throughout the years that I worked at that company.

   One way to boost your confidence is to physically change your posture: stand up straight with your shoulders back and hold your head up high. This conveys to others that you have a strong sense of who you are and what you are about, what you stand for. Even if you don't actually feel this way, your body is “acting” as if you do. Since your subconscious mind doesn't know the difference between fantasy and reality, you can pretend to be confident until your mind actually starts to actually feel self-confident.

   Another strategy is to think about why you are attending a particular university; remind yourself why you are working at this company or joined this particular social network. It is likely that you had to undergo some kind of application and/or interview process to get accepted to the college or to be offered your job. You demonstrated that do possess the skills, knowledge, talents and other attributes that will benefit the university or corporation of your choice. Anyone who wrote a letter of reference to support your college or job application will have believed this, too! Similarly, you were attracted to that social network because you share a common (mutual) interest with other members in that group. If another member had to invite you to become a member of a “closed” group, this is further validation that you have something to offer them and strengthen the quality of that organization.

     Remember to take care of your body—not just during those first days or weeks when you are finding your way around, but every day. Eat well-balanced meals that include protein and reduce your intake of caffeine or alcohol to help balance your mood and stave off sudden drops in blood-sugar level, which is associated with elevated levels of anxiety. Be sure to get enough sleep at night and take deep breaths (diaphragmatic breathing) to circulate the oxygen in your bloodstream throughout your body and further relax you if/when you feel nervous or anxious.

   Finally, as your level of relaxation and self-confidence begin to grow in this new environment you have chosen—remember, you want to be here—and allow yourself to smile and say hello to the other people in your group. A new friend is likely just a “hello” away.

 

 

Special Offer: Free 30-Minute Phone or Zoom Consultation

This is a great opportunity to find out why hypnosis is so effective and how hypnotherapy can help you achieve your self-improvement goals. Call or text me at (661) 433-9430 or send me an e-mail at calminsensehypnosis@yahoo.com to set up your free, 30-minute phone or Zoom consultation* today! 

*This is not a full hypnotherapy session. Hypnosis will not be provided during this consultation. This offer is not redeemable for cash and may not be combined with any other promotion.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2023

 

Subconscious Anchors

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 

 

(This blog was originally posted on April 4, 2014)

 

Image courtesy of Microsoft

 

     In previous blogs, I have described how I help my clients “anchor” a positive association to their new, desired behavior. This is done while the person is in hypnosis and most likely to be enjoying the deep relaxation, calm, and comfort that this state naturally provides. He or she can activate this new anchor at any time to reinforce the new, desired behavior and replace unwanted habits. But hypnosis is not the only time we create anchors. In fact, these subconscious associations can occur in various situations and at any time whether we intend to do this or not. This is how many of those habits that we consciously want to change have been created in the first place.

   Smells can create very strong, pervasive anchors for many people. The scent of the cologne or perfume can bring up a happy association with a beloved grandparent or may trigger negative emotions if the smell reminds you of your ex. The smell of freshly baked apple pie might­ take you back to coming home from college to enjoy a holiday meal; but this same smell could be frustrating or even torturous for someone who is on a diet. These are just a few reasons why I do not wear perfume or even use scented candles when I work with my hypnotherapy clients. I also want to avoid creating an unintended trigger to hypnosis that could be activated if the person perceives a scent that their subconscious mind already associates with me.

    We can also create subconscious anchors to food or physical sensations (touch). Do you remember the first time you touched a hot stove? You may not if this first experience happened when you were very young. You probably can’t recall a time when you have not been cautious about touching a surface that might be hot. However, your subconscious mind sure does. The same is true if you have ever avoided a certain food because you once got food poisoning eating that item, or you can no longer tolerate the taste or smell of a favorite snack since you had your child because that was all you could eat while you were pregnant.

   You can even create a subconscious anchor to sounds or music. For example, whenever I hear the Bon Jovi hit song, “Always,” my mind immediately flashes to an early memory of lounging on a beach at the end of a summer day. The sun is still bright in the sky, but the temperature is no longer hot, and an almost-cold breeze is coming off th­e ocean. The song sounds almost tinny as it blasts out of the portable, one-speaker stereo that belongs to a nearby sunbather. I can barely detect the scent of Coppertone® sunscreen as the salty air fills my nostrils. Do you see how much imagery and how many associations are evoked by this one, specific song? To this day, I only need to catch the first few bars of the song, and I can see this scene.

     Isn’t that interesting?

              

 

Special Offer: Free 30-Minute Phone or Zoom Consultation

This is a great opportunity to find out why hypnosis is so effective and how hypnotherapy can help you achieve your self-improvement goals. Call or text me at (661) 433-9430 or send me an e-mail at calminsensehypnosis@yahoo.com to set up your free, 30-minute phone or Zoom consultation* today! 

*This is not a full hypnotherapy session. Hypnosis will not be provided during this consultation. This offer is not redeemable for cash and may not be combined with any other promotion.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2023

 

 

Inner Wisdom

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 

(This blog was originally posted on April 8, 2014)

 

Photo by Rick Hustead

 

 

               “Would you like to meet Sophia?”

               I opened my eyes and looked around the waiting room. I must have dozed off while I waited for my friend to finish her doctor’s appointment, because an older woman was suddenly standing directly in front of me, nodding and smiling. She had on pink scrubs and was holding the leash of one of the biggest Standard Poodles I had ever seen. I sat up straighter in the hard plastic chair and blinked a couple of times. I hadn’t slept well last night—okay, at all—and, I admit, the chance to catch a quick nap was a welcome respite. I had been very stressed and worried about my friend these past few weeks, and I almost resented this interruption. However, once I shrugged off my sleepy confusion and oriented myself in the room, my irritation melted away. I suddenly noticed the gentle, warm pressure of the dog’s chest and right shoulder leaning into my right shin. Sophia’s long, delicate chin rested on my knees and she looked up at me with soulful brown eyes.

The woman gave her dog a loving scratch behind the ears. Sophia pressed her right shoulder even closer against my leg and let out a soft sigh. “Go ahead and pet her if you like. Sophia is a therapy dog. She will stay with you as long as you like, or until you get up if you have to go.”

“No, I’m good.” I noticed that I was smiling as I leaned over to rub the dog’s shoulders, patting and stroking her the way I gently scratch my horse’s withers. The large waiting room had suddenly shrunk to the three or four feet of space that Sophia, her handler, and I were occupying.  The tightness and tension in my shoulders bled away as I also released a slow, steady exhale. I could tell right away—from these physiological changes going on in my body and the sense of deep relaxation that I was feeling—that I had drifted into a light form of hypnosis. What was happening? How did this dog and her handler know how much I needed this encounter at that moment?

Animals’ intuition never fails to impress and astound me. Throughout my life, my cats always seem to know when I am sick. They stay close to me and curl up beside me on the sofa or in bed, feline versions of Florence Nightingale that are determined to keep a close eye on me until I recover. My horses—first, Geeves and now Galahad—always become very protective and even careful around me when I am not feeling well or if my confidence wavers during a ride. Similarly, when my mom and I met Monty Roberts at an Equine Affaire in Pomona, California event many years ago, Mr. Roberts explained that his Mustang, Shy Boy, always sought out people in the audience who seemed to need a little special attention. Well, that little Mustang came right over to my mother and me. I definitely hoped that he would come over to us; but my mom was especially excited and emotional about this encounter.

Today, I just had a sense that the dog was singling me out for this attention, because she was suddenly there in front of me, looking at me, nuzzling me. Since I had been sleeping when this pair entered the waiting room I don’t know how many people they had already visited before they got to my corner against the wall. But once Sophia came over to me, she stayed in the same position pressed against my legs for at least 20 minutes. There were a few other patients sitting nearby, but I was the person the dog and her handler hung out with for so long. Even when other patients and their children came over to meet her, Sophia stayed close to me. I wasn’t even officially a patient today, but I definitely needed and appreciated the kind of gentle comfort that she was able to provide for me.

 

 

Special Offer: Free 30-Minute Phone or Zoom Consultation

This is a great opportunity to find out why hypnosis is so effective and how hypnotherapy can help you achieve your self-improvement goals. Call or text me at (661) 433-9430 or send me an e-mail at calminsensehypnosis@yahoo.com to set up your free, 30-minute phone or Zoom consultation* today! 

*This is not a full hypnotherapy session. Hypnosis will not be provided during this consultation. This offer is not redeemable for cash and may not be combined with any other promotion.

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2023

 

And the Wisdom to Know the Difference

 I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 

(This blog was originally posted on April 4, 2014)

 

Photo by Sara R. Fogan, CHt

 

Sometimes, it seems like one of the most powerful human desires is the one for control. We want to control some aspect(s) of our social or physical environment. We want to control our behavior. (Hey, that’s what hypnotherapy is good for, right?) Or, we want to control (change) someone else’s behavior. Can hypnotherapy help you achieve each of these goals?

My scope of expertise as a hypnotherapist is to help my clients achieve vocational and avocational self-improvement goals. There is really no way to control or change specific aspects of a physical environment—such as the weather or climate where we live—unless we physically move out of the area. Most of us can’t even rearrange the furniture or décor in the lobby at work without having to get permission from the employer and/or the building’s landlord. Similarly, none of us has the ability to control someone else’s behaviors or beliefs if that individual doesn’t want to make this change. However, we can use hypnotherapy and guided imagery techniques to help us replace our own unwanted habits or belief systems with behaviors that are more effective for us. The skills you practice and learn in hypnosis can also help you adapt to, cope with and even flourish in a challenging personal, social or work situation over which you have no control. Your ability to remain relaxed, focused and calm in this context will significantly reduce or even eliminate any personal effects that the tension in this situation may cause you. You may even find that this ability to control your emotions in this way indirectly influences (changes) the way other people around you behave.

Before the next scheduled interaction with the person or exposure to that environment, work with me in hypnotherapy to help you desensitize to the negative stimuli associated with that encounter. Give yourself permission to let go of any grudges, bitterness or other negative associations you have with this situation. Give the other person(s) permission to own their critical, negative, etc., nature or beliefs that they have previously expressed to you. Then, visualize, imagine, picture or pretend that you are as relaxed, calm and focused when you have that encounter as you are while you are in hypnosis. Anchor that image of yourself responding in a positive, confident and controlled way with the relaxed and comfortable sensation you are enjoying in hypnosis so you can access your new calm and “in control” demeanor when you need to. Even if the other person’s behavior or attitude does not significantly change at that time, you will be better equipped to deal with that challenge.

I liken this attitude and technique to the Serenity Prayer. Most of the time, each of us can change our behavior and, in so doing, truly change a negative or challenging situation into a positive or mutually rewarding experience. Sometimes, we can do absolutely nothing about the circumstance except to just get through it by changing the way we perceive and respond to it. The key to a successful outcome in either circumstance is having the wisdom to know what kind of attitude adjustment we can make at that moment.

 

Special Offer: Free 30-Minute Phone or Zoom Consultation

This is a great opportunity to find out why hypnosis is so effective and how hypnotherapy can help you achieve your self-improvement goals. Call or text me at (661) 433-9430 or send me an e-mail at calminsensehypnosis@yahoo.com to set up your free, 30-minute phone or Zoom consultation* today! 

*This is not a full hypnotherapy session. Hypnosis will not be provided during this consultation. This offer is not redeemable for cash and may not be combined with any other promotion.

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2023

 

Body Language

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 

(This blog was originally posted on October 28, 2014)

Photo by Rick Hustead

I am fascinated by a new television advertisement for mobile (cell) phone services. In the ad, a group of potential customers puts a representative of a major, national phone company through her paces as they ask about various communications features that the company offers. Viewers are led to infer that the prospective customers are real-estate agents, because each of them is professionally rand sports a tan blazer with a large emblem of a house on the left side of the jacket. The group pretty much verifies the identity of their vocation when one of the women says, “Let’s close!” and they all cross their arms over their chest and grin. But it is what the customers and the sales representative say with their bodies throughout the ad that is of greatest interest to me.

          Throughout the ad, the phone-company representative matches every physical and facial gesture that her prospective clients make. As a customer’s voice lilts at the end of a question, the salesperson uses a similar lilt in her response. When one person points a finger to make a point, the sales rep makes the same movement during her explanation. Someone steeples her fingers across her midsection; the sales rep makes the same gesture. Another person in the group nods and raises her eyebrows; so does the sales rep. When the camera pans back a little, viewers can see that she has even adopted a similar stance as she stands with the customers. At the end of the advertisement when one of the customers crosses her arms and announces they will all take (“close”) the deal, her colleagues look at her and immediately imitate the crossed-arms gesture.

         I like this ad because it is such a fabulous demonstration of how people mirror someone’s behavior in order to build rapport with someone. If your job entails selling products or services, you probably recognized every sales technique depicted in the advertisement I just described. You don’t have to be a salesperson or a customer to identify with what went on. We mirror each other’s various behaviors—facial expressions, physical gestures, patterns of speech—all the time, often without realizing that we are doing it. These actions are like a “fast track” to building rapport with someone you would like to get to know better. People are naturally attracted to others who behave or seem to think like they do.

Think about a conversation you have had recently: Did you nod at some point during the conversation or lean forward in your seat as if to listen to your companion’s words even more closely? And did your companion then lean his or her body closer to yours, return your nod or mirror a hand movement that you were previously unaware of having made? Did you notice when your spouse or friend took a step forward, backwards or sideways to mirror your stance, or raised or lowered his or her voice to match the tone of yours? These are examples of mirroring, and mirroring is a subconscious (or conscious) behavior that creates rapport and can facilitate social bonds by reinforcing similarity or familiarity between you. Rapport is an inherent and necessary component of every kind of relationship; it is the cornerstone upon which every relationship is built. It is only when we establish rapport with someone are we likely to explore the similarities and differences between us, and know whether we want to spend the time and energy to create a social, romantic, or professional relationship with that person. Without rapport, we cannot come to trust, respect, like or communicate well with him or her, and a relationship—or a successful sale—is unlikely to result from the interaction.

 

 

Special Offer: Free 30-Minute Phone or Zoom Consultation

This is a great opportunity to find out why hypnosis is so effective and how hypnotherapy can help you achieve your self-improvement goals. Call or text me at (661) 433-9430 or send me an e-mail at calminsensehypnosis@yahoo.com to set up your free, 30-minute phone or Zoom consultation* today! 

*This is not a full hypnotherapy session. Hypnosis will not be provided during this consultation. This offer is not redeemable for cash and may not be combined with any other promotion.

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2023