Recreating the Family of Origin

                (This blog was originally posted on May 19, 2016)

Photo by Rick Hustead

When I was a freshman at Occidental College, I noticed something very interesting: all of the students looked the same. Well, not exactly the same, as in identical; but our similarity in physical features and even social backgrounds struck me as uncanny. One of my favorite instructors reminded me of my mother, from her general physique and gentle demeanor to the curly, salt-and-pepper dark hair they wore in a similar style. Maybe that resemblance contributed to her being one of my favorite professors. I remember that my fourth-grade teacher reminded me of one of my grandmothers; Mrs. Payne also happened to be one of my favorite grammar-school teachers. I don’t think that was a coincidence. One of the first good friends I made at Goldsmiths College in London, during my junior year abroad reminded me of my sister; they both even shared the same major in English literature.

On Tuesday, May 17, 2016, KFI AM 640 radio host Gary Hoffman and his featured guest, Wendy Walsh, Ph.D., discussed people’s subconscious tendency to recreate the “home” or family environment/social schema where they work. Dr. Walsh’s description of this behavior sounded a lot like Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D.’s Theory of Mind. No matter where we are or who we are with, we subconsciously want to return to those early experiences where we felt comfortable—even if we were experiencing pain in that situation. Both models made total sense.

Many people spend a majority of their waking day at work or at school/college. Whether it is a youngster’s first day in kindergarten or the first time newly minted CEO walks into the boardroom to facilitate a meeting, anxiety (pain) is usually the dominant emotion experienced. To alleviate this discomfort, we subconsciously look for any similarity between what he or she knows/knows how to do and other people with whom we have shared this previous environment or space. I remember the anxiety I experienced when the original owner of Black Belt magazine sold the company in 2001. All of the staff was anxious about our job security, even the senior editors and art directors. We all knew that the new line manager could easily decide this was a chance to “refresh” the current business model and get new writers and editors. Would our possible replacements actually be more skilled at our job or just a better social “fit” for the new boss? As it turned out, most of us kept our job and even got promotions when Black Belt magazine’s current owners bought and expanded the company a few years later. However, it was easy to see that new writers and editors that were hired were much more “like” and compatible with the new executive staff.

When I interviewed for college and, later, future jobs, I subconsciously looked for an environment where I already felt comfortable and shared interests/goals as the people with whom I would be sharing that environment. I have no doubt that Oxy’s college-acceptance board and my prospective employers had similar criteria when they considered how well I would fit in with them. The same could also be said of how I was originally recruited to join NRG—the business-network group to which I belong—and even, to some extent, how my clients “choose” to work with me as their hypnotherapist. What is similar? What is familiar? That is where we ultimately go—and stay.

Summer Promotion: Hypnosis for Weight Loss

Let the power of your subconscious mind help you release extra weight and increase your motivation to make healthier eating/nutrition and exercise choices. Book the entire 10-week series and save $250!

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. In July 2019 she was voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2019

Hypno-Anesthesia

(This blog was originally posted on July 12, 2016)

Photo by Rick Hustead

You may recall one of the scenes in Glory, in which a young soldier runs away from Confederate gunfire despite having had one of his legs shot off. Presumably he is in considerable physical pain at that moment, but his subconscious and conscious mind are completely focused on fleeing the danger/surviving the battle and living. He doesn’t even seem to even notice his injuries. Conversely, in Dances with Wolves, Union Army lieutenant John Dunbar (Kevin Costner) runs toward enemy fire in a bid to commit suicide rather than have Union doctors amputate his badly wounded leg. In this case, Lt. Dunbar was likely more afraid of living the rest of his life as an amputee—a totally unknown way of life, compared to the one he knows as a decorated soldier—than the prospect of death, which he faced every time he went to battle.

Even though at least one million sensations are going on in the body at any one time, we typically only perceive a few of them at once. So, at this point in reading my blog I want you to focus attention to your feet and how they feel in the shoes you have on. Until I gave you that suggestion, had you even noticed your feet or shoes? This kind of selective attention is very fortunate; otherwise, we would be in a state of sensory overload every minute—every second—of the day.

This kind of selective attention is also what facilitates hypno-anesthesia. Consider Dr. John Kappas’s definition of hypnosis: “Hypnosis is created by an overload of message units disorganizing our inhibitory process (critical mind), triggering our fight/flight mechanism and ultimately resulting in a hyper-suggestible state, providing access to the subconscious mind.” When you are in this state, the level of awareness is actually heightened. However, the message in the hypnotic script has you focus on a specific issue(s) or sensation(s) while disregarding or reforming the significance of conflicting messages/perceptions. For example, when preparing a pregnant client to manage the discomfort of the contractions in labor, I would suggest that she imagine/perceive the contractions as the gentle massage that is helping to bring her child into the world. By changing the meaning or association of the sensation from something uncomfortable to a process that is bringing joy into her life, she can also change the perception of that sensation.

Hypnosis is to manage/control pain is one of the most common requests/uses/applications of this modality. The body naturally produces its own analgesics (pain-control enzymes) when the subconscious mind is overloaded (distracted) or when you are comfortable and relaxed, such as during hypnosis/hypnotherapy/therapeutic guided imagery. Therefore, when you are relaxed and calm in hypnosis, you are more likely to feel greater comfort and be better able to manage or control physical pain. However, the anxiety and fear that often accompany pain typically increase this perception. Since hypnosis helps a person relax and reduces anxiety and stress, being in this state, alone, is a natural analgesic.

Unlike medically-induced anesthesia—which can induce physiological complications from medication-induced side effects—hypnosis is a safe, natural, drug-free state of awareness. In addition to helping create pain-free labor/delivery, it is useful to control pain/discomfort during dentistry procedures, low-back pain, headaches, arthritis and more.*

*California law allows access by California residents to complementary and alternative health care practitioners who are not providing services that require medical training and credentials. The purpose of a program of hypnotherapy is for vocational and avocational self-improvement (Business and Professions Code 2908) and as an alternative or complementary treatment to healing arts services licensed by the state. A hypnotherapist is not a licensed physician or psychologist, and hypnotherapy services are not licensed by the state of California. Services are non-diagnostic and do not include the practice of medicine, neither should they be considered a substitute for licensed medical or psychological services or procedures.

Summer Promotion: Hypnosis for Weight Loss

 

Let the power of your subconscious mind help you release extra weight and increase your motivation to make healthier eating/nutrition and exercise choices. Book the entire 10-week series and save $250!

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. In July 2019 she was voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2019

Breaking Up Is Hard to Do

(This blog was originally posted on April 25, 2016)

Photo by Rick Hustead

According to John Kappas, Ph.D., Emotional Sexuals do not get hung up in a failed relationship for as long or the way a Physical Sexual is likely to do. Physicals focus their lives on a relationship and a loving commitment. Once the relationship becomes physically (sexually) intimate, they tend to plan the future and have high expectations for commitment with the partner.

“The Physical Sexual female subconsciously thinks, ‘Would he make a good husband/father of my child? Could I spend an eternity with him?” The Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder explained. If the other person is a good candidate for such a relationship, this evolution of the partnership will happen naturally.  However, if the relationship seems to be failing or if the other partner (typically an Emotional Sexual) rejects the person’s advances, the Physical Sexual will panic about losing the person and cling even more. When the Physical Sexual backs off a bit—perhaps even making the Emotional Sexual jealous—the relationship tends to start up again.

When the relationship is finally over and the Physical Sexual leaves for good, the person doesn’t go back. However, the person’s fear of the emotional pain resulting from this separation and the fact that self-worth is so closely tied to the relationship makes it difficult to make this final break, Dr. Kappas observed. This fear and the person’s lack of confidence that he or she can survive without the partner will subconsciously motivate the person to hold onto the dead relationship. However, it may be prudent to let the relationship go if you’re not getting what you want or need, he advised.

Since people continue to evolve over time, you should become involved with another person with whom you can grow in this way, Dr. Kappas said. Don’t hold onto a relationship that’s not going anywhere for you and replace expectations about getting married and having a partner with that partner, specifically. “You need to separate what you want for yourself. You have to project availability and attainability. Lovers are not forever, but for now or tomorrow.”

Summer Promotion: Hypnosis for Weight Loss

Let the power of your subconscious mind help you release extra weight and increase your motivation to make healthier eating/nutrition and exercise choices. Book the entire 10-week series and save $250!

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. In July 2019 she was voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2019