(This
blog was originally posted on May 19, 2016)
 |
| Photo by Rick Hustead |
When I was a freshman at Occidental College,
I noticed something very interesting: all of the students looked the same.
Well, not exactly the same, as in identical; but our similarity in physical
features and even social backgrounds struck me as uncanny. One of my favorite
instructors reminded me of my mother, from her general physique and gentle
demeanor to the curly, salt-and-pepper dark hair they wore in a similar style.
Maybe that resemblance contributed to her being one of my favorite professors. I
remember that my fourth-grade teacher reminded me of one of my grandmothers;
Mrs. Payne also happened to be one of my favorite grammar-school teachers. I
don’t think that was a coincidence. One of the first good friends I made at Goldsmiths College in London, during my junior
year abroad reminded me of my sister; they both even shared the same major in English
literature.
On Tuesday, May 17, 2016, KFI AM
640 radio host Gary Hoffman
and his featured guest, Wendy Walsh,
Ph.D., discussed people’s subconscious tendency to recreate the “home” or family environment/social
schema where they work. Dr. Walsh’s description of this behavior sounded a lot like Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D.’s Theory of Mind. No
matter where we are or who we are with, we subconsciously want to return to
those early experiences where we felt comfortable—even if we were experiencing
pain in that situation. Both models made total sense.
Many people
spend a majority of their waking day at work or at school/college. Whether it
is a youngster’s first day in kindergarten or the first time newly minted CEO
walks into the boardroom to facilitate a meeting, anxiety (pain) is usually the
dominant emotion experienced. To alleviate this discomfort, we subconsciously
look for any similarity between what he or she knows/knows how to do and other
people with whom we have shared this previous environment or space. I remember the
anxiety I experienced when the original owner of Black
Belt magazine sold the company in 2001. All of the staff was anxious
about our job security, even the senior editors and art directors. We all knew
that the new line manager could easily decide this was a chance to “refresh”
the current business model and get new writers and editors. Would our possible
replacements actually be more skilled at our job or just a better social “fit”
for the new boss? As it turned out, most of us kept our job and even got
promotions when Black Belt magazine’s
current owners bought and expanded the company a few years later. However, it
was easy to see that new writers and editors that were hired were much more
“like” and compatible with the new executive staff.
When I interviewed
for college and, later, future jobs, I subconsciously looked for an environment
where I already felt comfortable and
shared interests/goals as the people with whom I would be sharing that
environment. I have no doubt that Oxy’s college-acceptance board and my prospective
employers had similar criteria when they considered how well I would fit in
with them. The same could also be said of how I was originally recruited to
join NRG—the business-network group to
which I belong—and even, to some extent, how my clients “choose” to work with
me as their hypnotherapist. What is similar? What is familiar? That is where we
ultimately go—and stay.
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Sara
R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern
California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation
Institute in
2005. In July 2019 she was voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita,
California. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.
© 2019
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