Thoughts of the Day

Photo by Sara Fogan

     Every now and then I like (and need) to take a few moments and remind myself about what is really important to me, in my life. If you follow me on my Calminsense Hypnotherapy Facebook page you may have seen some of these quotes before on this page, or will in the future. Many of these Quotes of the Day are beautiful examples and illustrations of the work I do as a hypnotherapist, so I will probably draw on them in future essays.

• “No matter how far you run, the truth is always waiting when you get there.” – Bruce Van Horn

• "The most important key to achieving great success is to decide upon your goal and launch, get started, take action, move." – John Wooden

• “Sometimes the most responsible thing to do with power is to resist the urge to use it.” – Brian Rathbone

• “Every great success requires some type of worthy struggle to get there.” – Lolly Daskal

• “You get treated in life the way you teach people to treat you.” – Wayne Dyer

• “Opportunity doesn’t make appointments; you have to be ready when it arrives.” – Tim Fargo

• “A dream can be the answer to a question we have not yet learned to ask.” – Fox Mulder, The X Files

• “You can often change your circumstances by changing your attitude.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

• "Between the great things we cannot do and the small things we will not do, the danger is that we shall do nothing." – Adolphe Monod

• “When the character of someone is not clear to you, look at their friends.” – Unknown

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2017

Halloween Masks

(This blog was originally posted on October 31, 2016)

Every October 31, people have an opportunity to don costumes and assume temporary identities of someone or even something else. I am fascinated by the costume choices people make, whether they choose to embody Disney characters from the hit film, Frozen, favorite rock stars/musicians, monsters (werewolves or vampires), superheroes, princesses/princes, animals or even politicians. Halloween celebrations become a free-for-all of fantastical expression; even grown-ups can get in on the fun. My question is: What, or who, does that chosen alter-ego represent to the person behind the mask?

I have observed that the costume expression that Halloween celebrants embody range from fun and good-natured to genuinely frightening or even sinister. The subconscious motivation of those dressed as heroes/superheroes, Disney characters, royalty and other generally positive or benign identities might represent the person’s abilities or personality or project an aspect of wish-fulfillment. (Who hasn’t ever wanted to be a prince or princess, or to possess a super-human skill that could save the world? I certainly did.) Perhaps the costume is even a conscious projection of an intention to attract a skill or talent into the person’s life, which is represented what he or she is wearing.

At the other end of this spectrum are costumes that are designed to trigger anxiety or even a fear response. Apparently the zombies from The Walking Dead television series are popular costume choices in the scary/monster end of the dress-up spectrum. Unlike vampires—at least, the seductive incarnation of vampires in modern Young Adult novels and movies—zombies are the epitome of everything terrifying we imagine about death. Not only do zombies appear in various stages of decay and possess untold, albeit clumsy, strength, their very survival depends on killing and eating (brains) their victims. Could there be anything more frightening than seeing your dearly-departed relative wandering around, intent on doing you harm?

Another popular costume last year honored the 2016 Presidential candidates: Democratic Party nominee, Hillary Rodham Clinton and Republican Party nominee, now President Donald J. Trump (R). Did the real candidates represent a real or perceived threat that the Halloween celebrants to metaphorically exorcise before the election on November 8? Or, did the costume enable the wearer to publicly express some secretly admired behaviors or traits that the person did not want to (publicly) own?

It’s something to think about.

Happy Halloween!

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2017

When It Really Is About You

(This blog was originally posted on October 19, 2016)

Photo by Rick Hustead

When we get in a bad mood, for whatever reason, it is “okay” to trudge around the house or office scowling, grumbling or whatever because, well, it just is, right? Something happened earlier in the day or afternoon that set us off; it’s got nothing to do with you, so stop taking everything so personally! We think or say: Everything will be fine in a little while or tomorrow or next week…. You shouldn’t be so sensitive!

Of course, when the bad mood or unnecessary gruffness isn’t our own, it can be very difficult if not impossible to extend the same amount of patience, tolerance or even indifference to another person. More often than not, the subconscious mind goes right to: What did I do? Don’t snap at me! Just chill out, won’t you! It truly is like there are different rules for different players in the same game.

Any time we find ourselves internalizing another person’s bad mood or caustic comment as a personal affront, this is a good time to do a reality check about the situation. Ask yourself whether you actually or accidentally did or said something that might have caused offense. If the answer to this question is “no,” consider the likelihood that the other person is not intentionally, specifically striking out at you. Low self-esteem is often correlated with negative self-talk (“chatter”), whereby it is easy to wear a mantle of guilt about or misplaced sense of responsibility for causing any other negativity in the environment. Imagine going into that part of your subconscious mind or even body where your self-esteem resides and turn the dial up until you no longer notice or perceive the conflict around you. How does that feel in your mind and body? What it does it look like to be (more) indifferent to the other person’s bad mood or problem?

Also remember that being hungry (low blood-sugar level) can affect how we perceive and react to our environment. In this case, a colleague’s sarcastic comment or ribald joke that normally would not irritate you could easily trigger a chain reaction of hurt feelings, hostility and a barrage of snide remarks in response. On the other hand, you might even laugh at that same comment if you hear it after you eat lunch that contains some form of protein (meat or plant-based).

Whenever possible, practice an attitude of empathy and imagine that possibility that your colleague/boss/relative/friend is having a really hard time at the moment for reasons you may not or even need to know. Consider what, if any, gesture of empathy would ease your emotional burden in a similar situation. Depending upon your relationship with the person, it may be appropriate to ask if everything is okay and offer to help resolve or just talk through whatever is causing the problem. Maybe the best course of action might be to remain silent and let the person work through whatever is going on, alone, until/unless you are asked or invited to help. (Of course, if the individual’s problem or attitude is endangering your or another person’s safety/well-being, take steps to protect yourself and get out of that situation.) 

Keep in mind that most of the time, someone else’s bad mood really isn’t about you. However, the sentiment, “Don’t judge another person until you have walked a mile in his shoes” and an open, empathetic and compassionate attitude toward the other person helps to get through these situations.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2017