How Hypnotherapy Can Alleviate Fear of Failure

(This blog was originally posted on February 22, 2016)

Photo by Rick Hustead

Let’s face it: At some point during your, my, everyone’s lifetime, we will fail at something. Whether it’s a geometry test in high school, not waking up when the alarm goes off in the morning, a relationship doesn’t blossom the way we hoped, etc., failure of some kind is likely to touch us all. Despite the negative connotations and associations with this term, however, failing at something can actually be one of life’s greatest gifts because it usually presents an opportunity to try something else that suits us better. Dr. John Kappas, the founder of the Hypnosis Motivation Institute, used to advise his hypnotherapy students and clients to think or say “I like it!” even when the situation was unfavorable. Allowing ourselves to see the opportunity in perceived misfortune or inconvenience is a chance to look for and find that alternative path.

However, fear of failure is also a very real phenomenon that affects many, many people to the point of their becoming unwilling or even unable to pursue a goal or complete a task in case something goes wrong. Of course, consciously we know that not taking an action to realize that goal is another and more reliable way to guarantee failing at it. However, the subconscious mind is secretly relieved because this state of immobility is comfortable, familiar and “known.” Hypnotherapy can help you manage and overcome this fear to get back on track to pursue desired goals.

When I work with someone who has a fear of failure, one of the first things I want to do is help the client identify where and how this fear evolved. If the individual does not know or can’t remember its origin, I might suggest that the person will have a venting dream about the incident to analyze in a future hypnotherapy session. I would also desensitize the person to this fear and any stimuli that trigger this anxiety and replace the fear of failure with smiling or laughing, whenever he or she thinks about it. 

Another effective strategy is to employ plenty of imagery/visualization exercises to prepare the client to get rid of this fear, and tie a stronger relaxation response to override the fear/anxiety. “You need to double-bind the client by substituting a positive suggestion for negative feelings or fear,” Dr. Kappas advised. For example, tie the client’s fear of success with the image of actually achieving that desired goal. If the person does not have any recent experiences or memories of achievement, I would work with him or her to choose and set small, achievable task to start this process. As the person continues to succeed at these projects, I would reinforce the association between relaxation and increasing confidence with achieving these new and increasingly challenging goals. Ultimately, eventually, the “fear of failure” will be replaced with a new subconscious known: enjoyment of success.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2017

Thoughts of the Day

Photo by Sara Fogan

      Every now and then I like (and need) to take a few moments and remind myself about what is really important to me, in my life. If you follow me on my Calminsense Hypnotherapy Facebook page you may have seen some of these quotes before on this page, or will in the future. Many of these Quotes of the Day are beautiful examples and illustrations of the work I do as a hypnotherapist, so I will probably draw on them in future essays.

• “In true dialogue, both sides are willing to change.” – Thich Nhat Hanh

• “Negative people need drama like it’s oxygen. Stay positive and take their breath away.” – David Duane Wilson

• “A quick temper will make a fool of you soon enough.” – Bruce Lee

• “Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.” – Dalai Lama

• “I have learned that to be with those I like is enough.” – Walt Whitman

• “Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” – W. Clement Stone

• “I believe nothing just because a so-called wise person said it.” – Buddha

• “Hoping people will change will only frustrate you. Take action to change yourself.” – Bruce Van Horn

• “Being happy is a choice, but it takes constant effort to make it happen.” – Lolly Daskal

• “The man who asks a question is a fool for a minute, the man who does not ask is a fool for life.” – Confucius

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2017     

Really?

(This blog was originally posted on February 23, 2016)

 

Photo by Rick Hustead

“I can hypnotize anyone.”

Has anyone ever told you this? Do/did you believe them?

As I have explained in previous blogs, each one of us is in a light state of trance at least twice each day: for 30 minutes when we wake up in the morning and 30 minutes before we drift off to sleep each night. Other examples include environmental hypnosis and even believing the negative self-talk (chatter) we sometimes tell ourselves when we’re having a bad day. 

The first thing I tell every new client is to reassure, “You can only be hypnotized if you want to be.” When you contact me by phone or e-mail, I can be fairly confident that you are interested in hypnotherapy as a way to help change an unwanted behavior because other strategies to do so have not been as effective as you wanted them to be. Or, perhaps you are curious about hypnosis and how it works. Maybe you just want to give it a try because you heard it is very relaxing and it worked for a friend to reduce anxiety or helped a relative quit smoking. Whatever the situation happens to be, hypnotherapy is always a choice. If you don’t want to be hypnotized, you won’t be. This is also why I include the suggestion that you will only enter the hypnotic state “with your permission and only your permission.” 

Perhaps you have watched a hypnosis demonstration on a cruise or at a magic show. The hypnotist randomly picks people from the audience and/or asks for volunteers to take part in the performance. The individuals who ultimately get selected to participate are not chosen by accident. Before the demonstration begins, the hypnotist has already identified and recognized physiological changes that indicate who is already “going in” to hypnosis. These are the ones who are most likely to be suggestible to instructions given during the performance. Someone who does not volunteer or is sitting in the audience shaking his head, etc., will probably not get asked to join the act. That’s okay, because he probably wouldn’t want to anyway. 

The same principle applies in hypnotherapy. During my training to become a certified hypnotherapist at the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in Tarzana, California, I learned a variety of techniques to hypnotize someone. I learned how a client’s suggestibility (how you learn) would determine and direct the words and phrases I use to induce hypnosis. For example, if the client has an emotional suggestibility, metaphors and images such as “your eyelids are feeling heavy” would be the most effective way to encourage the person to close his eyes. Conversely, a physical suggestible client would respond better to the direct and literal suggestion of “your eyelids are closing.” Sometimes, if a person is highly analytical, the most effective hypnotic induction is the auto-dual induction technique, wherein the client essentially hypnotizes him- or herself. Regardless of the technique I use during the induction, I use my client’s own words in the hypnotic to describe goals, motivations and reasons to change an unwanted behavior and achieve a vocational or avocational self-improvement goal. 

Since we are all most suggestible to ourselves, ultimately, it is the hypnotherapy client—the person sitting in that chair or recliner—who is hypnotizing him- or herself. Claiming to be able to hypnotize “anyone” is a bit of an over-generalization. Ultimately, the person being “hypnotized” must be suggestible to you and willing to enter a hypnotic trance in the first place.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2017