Have a Nice Day

“When the world gets in my way I say, ‘Have a nice day!’” – Bon Jovi

Image courtesy of Microsoft

What do you do when everything seems to go wrong in your day? I pondered this question while driving home from the barn this afternoon when “Have a Nice Day” by Bon Jovi came up on my playlist. It is so easy to internalize the frustration and run the unending loop of self-recrimination or to blame others when a plan doesn’t work out the way we plan or want it to. 

Some people yell. Others get in their car and take a fast (and sometimes reckless) drive in the hope of blowing off some steam. It is always tempting and too easy to channel frustration and take it out on the next person you see, such as give the barista at Starbucks® a hard time for getting your order wrong. It is usually a little more challenging to just let go of your immediate (and usually transitory) angst to focus on what is actually going right in your day.

The late Dr. John Kappas, founder of the Hypnosis Motivation Institute, used to include the following suggestion in many hypnotic scripts: I like it. It was (and is) a great motivator when you are learning a new behavior, such as politely refusing dessert after a meal to comply with your weight-loss program. Even when something “goes wrong” or does not fulfill your expectations or desires, this simple suggestion enables you to open your eyes to the opportunities this inconvenience could yield. So, you burned the special meal you spent all day preparing for that special someone? Yes, that is inconvenient and frustrating. However, Dr. Kappas’s suggestion facilitated a new attitude and ability to see an opportunity in the experience—a shared laugh or maybe even an impromptu, very romantic picnic of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on the living-room floor. 

So, someone cut you off on the freeway and prevented you from getting off the highway at your intended exit? Once again, this new attitude of “liking it” enables you to pass the negative emotion (frustration) and continue on your way. Who knows, your unintended detour might steer you clear of a traffic jam further up the road on your intended route that might have also added even more time to your original journey.

Many of us have experienced a situation in which someone seems to be taking out his or her frustrations on us. This person hasn’t learned the power of Dr. Kappas’s nifty little trick of “liking it” and instead tries to feel better by making things more difficult or awkward for others. That’s okay. You can still turn the potentially unpleasant situation around by reminding yourself that you like what is happening because it the situation is giving you a new perspective/experience that you can learn and grow from. Then, as Bon Jovi does in their hit song titled Have a Nice Day, politely tell the person to have a nice day and walk away. It is impossible to experience two opposite emotions at the same time: e.g., anxiety versus relaxation, frustration versus optimism. Ultimately, saying and believing “I like it!” and expressing a positive outlook and sentiments for others enables you to improve the situation for yourself by finding opportunities where someone else may only see obstacles.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2016

 

Pruning the Roses

A couple of days ago, I noticed a neighbor pruning the rose bushes that grew between our properties. Watching her cut back the branches reminded me how my late grandmother used to love gardening; her roses always looked beautiful, even better than what I would see in flower shops. She once explained how pruning the bush all the way back during the winter to remove the detritus of dead branches and wilting flowers was the key to making room for fresh, healthy growth in the spring.

What a wonderful metaphor for hypnotherapy!

When a client contacts me to change an unwanted behavior such as lose weight, quit smoking, overcome a fear/phobia, I help the person strip back aspects of the negative habit in hypnosis to facilitate the desired behavior in “real life.” One way to do this is simply desensitizing the individual to the various situations or stimuli that trigger the undesired response. Then I would help the person create a new, positive association between feeling relaxed, comfortable and smiling (a positive physical action) while performing a desired behavior, such as walking out of the kitchen or away from the temptation.  Alternatively, I might employ Neuro-Linguistic Programming techniques to create a negative association between that sweet treat by pairing the preferred item (e.g., ice cream) with one that the person dislikes (e.g., cottage cheese).

Once this new association is created in the subconscious mind, therapeutic guided-imagery techniques enable the person to visualize or imagine replacing those beliefs and actions associated with the undesired behavior with the new, desired beliefs and behaviors. Since the subconscious mind does not know the difference between imagination and reality, in hypnosis the client can practice the desired behavior over and over again to establish the new, desired subconscious known and behavior.

Similar to how my grandmother tended her prized rose bushes every year, through hypnotherapy, I help metaphorically prune the detritus of unwanted behaviors that the client wants to change. Just like the roses, over time and with nurturing self-love and desire to change, new personal growth and success can bloom in its place.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2016

Thoughts of the Day for a Thursday

Photo by Sara Fogan

      Every now and then I like (and need) to take a few moments and remind myself about what is really important to me, in my life. If you follow me on my Calminsense Hypnotherapy Facebook page you may have seen some of these quotes before on this page, or will in the future. Many of these Quotes of the Day are beautiful examples and illustrations of the work I do as a hypnotherapist, so I will probably draw on them in future essays.

·         “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.” – Steve Jobs
 
·         “Why worry? If you’ve done the very best you can, worrying won’t make it better.” – Walt Disney
 
·         “You’ve got to believe it. Keep the faith, Sweetheart.” Rufus in The Rescuers
 
·         “Let gratitude be the pillow upon which you kneel to say your nightly prayers.” – Maya Angelou
 
·         “Nothing diminishes anxiety faster than an action.” – Walter Anderson
 
·         “Just as a solid rock is not shaken by the storm, even so the wise are not affected by praise or blame.” – Buddha
 
·         “I keep my mind focused on peace, harmony, health and abundance. Then, I can’t be distracted by doubt, anxiety or fear.” – Edith Armstrong
 
·         “When you complain you make yourself a victim. Leave the situation, change the situation or accept it. All else is madness.” – Eckhart Tolle
 
·         “Don’t ever save anything for a special occasion. Being alive is the special occasion.” – Author Unknown
 
·         “All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them.” – Walt Disney
 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2016