Pruning the Roses

A couple of days ago, I noticed a neighbor pruning the rose bushes that grew between our properties. Watching her cut back the branches reminded me how my late grandmother used to love gardening; her roses always looked beautiful, even better than what I would see in flower shops. She once explained how pruning the bush all the way back during the winter to remove the detritus of dead branches and wilting flowers was the key to making room for fresh, healthy growth in the spring.

What a wonderful metaphor for hypnotherapy!

When a client contacts me to change an unwanted behavior such as lose weight, quit smoking, overcome a fear/phobia, I help the person strip back aspects of the negative habit in hypnosis to facilitate the desired behavior in “real life.” One way to do this is simply desensitizing the individual to the various situations or stimuli that trigger the undesired response. Then I would help the person create a new, positive association between feeling relaxed, comfortable and smiling (a positive physical action) while performing a desired behavior, such as walking out of the kitchen or away from the temptation.  Alternatively, I might employ Neuro-Linguistic Programming techniques to create a negative association between that sweet treat by pairing the preferred item (e.g., ice cream) with one that the person dislikes (e.g., cottage cheese).

Once this new association is created in the subconscious mind, therapeutic guided-imagery techniques enable the person to visualize or imagine replacing those beliefs and actions associated with the undesired behavior with the new, desired beliefs and behaviors. Since the subconscious mind does not know the difference between imagination and reality, in hypnosis the client can practice the desired behavior over and over again to establish the new, desired subconscious known and behavior.

Similar to how my grandmother tended her prized rose bushes every year, through hypnotherapy, I help metaphorically prune the detritus of unwanted behaviors that the client wants to change. Just like the roses, over time and with nurturing self-love and desire to change, new personal growth and success can bloom in its place.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2016

Thoughts of the Day for a Thursday

Photo by Sara Fogan

      Every now and then I like (and need) to take a few moments and remind myself about what is really important to me, in my life. If you follow me on my Calminsense Hypnotherapy Facebook page you may have seen some of these quotes before on this page, or will in the future. Many of these Quotes of the Day are beautiful examples and illustrations of the work I do as a hypnotherapist, so I will probably draw on them in future essays.

·         “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.” – Steve Jobs
 
·         “Why worry? If you’ve done the very best you can, worrying won’t make it better.” – Walt Disney
 
·         “You’ve got to believe it. Keep the faith, Sweetheart.” Rufus in The Rescuers
 
·         “Let gratitude be the pillow upon which you kneel to say your nightly prayers.” – Maya Angelou
 
·         “Nothing diminishes anxiety faster than an action.” – Walter Anderson
 
·         “Just as a solid rock is not shaken by the storm, even so the wise are not affected by praise or blame.” – Buddha
 
·         “I keep my mind focused on peace, harmony, health and abundance. Then, I can’t be distracted by doubt, anxiety or fear.” – Edith Armstrong
 
·         “When you complain you make yourself a victim. Leave the situation, change the situation or accept it. All else is madness.” – Eckhart Tolle
 
·         “Don’t ever save anything for a special occasion. Being alive is the special occasion.” – Author Unknown
 
·         “All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them.” – Walt Disney
 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2016

Defense Mechanisms: Intellectualization

Image courtesy of Microsoft

Sometimes we subconsciously intellectualize or try to “explain away” our feelings to temporarily “escape” the perceived/anticipated consequences of experiencing a painful emotion. Instead of feeling frustrated, disappointed or even angry when a plan doesn’t work out, the subconscious mind comes up with a list of explanations why the plan wouldn’t succeed. Rather than allow ourselves to feel or express sadness when a loved one dies, we tell ourselves that this is better because the person is no longer suffering/in pain, etc. This response, Intellectualization, is a powerful defense mechanism that people often use to escape or avoid feeling emotional pain. Rather than feel the emotion associated with an uncomfortable or painful experience, the feelings are transferred into the intellect where they feeling can be explained away rather than experienced.

Like other defense mechanisms I have explained in previous blogs about defense mechanisms, Intellectualization is characterized by the following traits: 1) it is unconscious; 2) it is self-deceptive; 3) it contains elements of denial; and 4) it distorts reality through thoughts and action. Whenever we seem to successfully “avoid” suffering a possible consequence by analyzing and explaining away a feeling, the apparent success of this technique (i.e., suppressed crying or rage) reinforces our belief (subconscious mental script) in the effectiveness of that strategy. The more successful this technique is, the more likely the person is to intellectualize emotions to repress these uncomfortable feelings at other times during their life.

Remember, defense mechanisms are fabulous temporary devices that can help us achieve such security. According to John Kappas, Ph.D.’s Theory of Mind, everyone is subconsciously motivated to maintain and/or restore a known physical and emotional status of comfort and security. Since the subconscious mind is motivated and even programmed to seek this comfort, we may adopt those defense-mechanism behaviors because we learned them from someone we trust who does or used to do the same thing. The primary role of a defense mechanism is to protect the subconscious mind from what it perceives as a threat or “pain” of having to deal with an unknown. These behaviors really only provide a temporary perception of control over the environment. Eventually, we must deal with and resolve the primary issue that has triggered the defense mechanism to achieve personal growth.

Just like other defense mechanisms, Intellectualization is characterized by a specific behavior or attitude of the person. In this case, the “tell” is, the disconnect that exists between what the client is telling me about an emotional experience and the individual’s facial expression. Also, rather than describing emotions or feelings associated with the event, the person will explain what he or she thought/thinks about the situation. At this point, it is important for me to “bust” or dismantle this emotional disconnect. In so doing, the client is able give her- or himself permission to feel and experience as many of those emotions as the individual can handle, while in hypnosis. 

For more information about defense mechanisms, I invite you to read my other blogs about this topic: Defense Mechanisms: Projection and Projection Identification; Defense Mechanisms: Undoing and Magical Thinking; Defense Mechanisms: Denial; Defense Mechanisms: Turning Against Self; The Reaction Formation;  and Going for Cause.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2016

Why Do You Look So Familiar?

Photo courtesy of Sara Fogan

It is human nature to draw comparisons between things (and even people) we see in the world around us. How many times have you looked at someone and said, “He reminds me of so-and-so”? Have you ever mistaken a large tree stump or branch as an animal or even a prowler lurking near your house before realizing what the object actually was?

Sometimes I wonder why these inanimate objects take on shapes or images that are so familiar to so many people. Psychologist Carl Jung wrote about collective metaphors and believed that humans all over the world shared images and meanings regardless of their background or geographic location. Hypnotherapist and Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D., might consider these images subconscious knowns, created by information that is shared from one generation to the next to help make sense of the world. Our suggestibility—how we learn—facilitates this process.

For example, this Good Morning America segment featured a special-interest report about a rescue cat named Kory, whose physical features seem to eerily resemble those of Adam Driver. For those who don’t know or recognize the name, he is the actor who portrays Kylo Ren in Star Wars: The Force Awakens. Apparently an animal shelter originally posted the kitty’s photograph on-line just to attract potential adopters for the stray. Their strategy worked, big time. Internet browsers quickly noticed and commented about the physical similarities between Kory the cat and the Star Wars bad guy. Now Kory the Cat’s new Forever Family know him by his new moniker:  Kylo Ren. I wonder if the cat would have received so much love and attention quite so quickly if someone had not pointed out this resemblance to other Star Wars fans out there. How much of their interest was in adopting an adorable adult cat versus the idea/fantasy of having a cuddly, real-life, feline representation of the blockbuster film living in their home?

Last week, someone posted a photograph on Facebook of an image she had seen while taking pictures of the Aurora Borealis (Northern Lights). The picture featured an image of a running wolf. The woman didn’t even need to include text with her post to explain the shape she had seen. Since it was shared on a Facebook page that is dedicated to wolves and wolf conservation, no explanation was needed, anyway. We all knew what the shape represented, and many people commented that they had seen/recognized the wolf right away. I certainly had. Again, though, I had to wonder: was the shape a Jungian icon that our collective subconscious minds immediately recognized? Or, did we recognize the wolf image because we saw it on a specific forum that is dedicated to honoring wolves?

On other occasions, people have shared pictures of clouds that took on the shape of a dolphin or orca (killer whale). Just a couple of days ago, someone posted a picture of a sunrise where rays of the sun perfectly intersected at right angles, just like a cross.

While I have never yet seen anything so impressive in a cloud formation or sunrise or sunset, I have noticed a lot of repetition in the shapes and forms of various objects that seem to occur naturally in the environment. Case in point: A couple of years ago, chocolate-chip cookie dough formed the shape of a heart while it baked in the oven. Or, so it seemed to me. This shape probably came about because I inadvertently cut the cookie when I slid it off of the tray. I was so impressed by this image that I took a picture of it (and the symbolism of its shape) to keep for posterity. When I bake, I like to think and tell people who enjoy my treats that the secret ingredient that makes them so yummy is that I bake them with love. In this case, my secret ingredient took on a literal form.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2016