World Series Champions (Again) At Last

 All hypnotherapy sessions are conducted via phone or Zoom. 

 

(This blog was originally posted on November 3, 2016)

Photo courtesy of Microsoft

 

 

 

The Chicago Cubs beat the Cleveland Indians (now called the Cleveland Guardians) in the tenth inning of the seventh game of the 2016 World Series to take the title in one of the hardest fought titles I have ever seen. Like so many other people who are not necessarily Cubs fans, I was curious to see how the team would fare. Despite the team’s best efforts over the years to clinch another World Series title, the infamous “Billy Goat curse” had haunted the ball club since their last World Series appearance in 1945. The last time they won a World Series was 108 years ago, in 1908. Why should this year be any different?

Needless to say, my interest in how this team would fare had less to do with being a fan of baseball compared to how they would deal with the pressure of such high-octane competition and a particular subconscious mental script. A curse like the one bestowed on the Chicago Cubs all those years ago is particularly insidious because its effectiveness is derived from people’s belief in it. Apparently, a local bar owner named Bill “Billy Goat” Sianis promised that the team would stop winning games because he wasn’t allowed to bring his pet goat in to watch Game 4 of the World Series at Wrigley Field. (The goat reportedly had a ticket, too.) The curse seemed to have worked because the Cubs didn’t make it back into these championship games until this year. Generations of baseball fans and even baseball players that compose this and other baseball clubs may or may not believe/believed in the curse. And regardless of their belief in it, the very idea of a curse was certainly a convenient explanation (defense mechanism) for why the team couldn’t win, let alone get into, another World Series.

My question is this: Was that curse really so powerful and effective to undermine the post-season success of this team all these years? Other teams have had long “droughts” between winning and even entering the World Series, and they don’t carry the burden of a curse to explain/excuse their post-season performances.

The fact that such a negative proclamation even existed likely helped to undermine fans’ and even the players’ own confidence and belief in the Cubs ability to win a championship. If you don’t believe me, consider how much better teams/athletes generally fare when they have a home-field advantage. Just like in Jack Norworth’s iconic song, “Take Me out to the Ball Game,” local fans generally do “root, root, root for the home team.” The positive energy that comes from an excited, supportive crowd cheering, whistling and chanting for their home team cannot be dismissed; athletes truly seem buoyed by the home advantage. Similarly, the negative energy and disdain this crowd projects when the visiting team scores or prevents the local heroes from scoring or ultimately winning, is palpable. (I will address that phenomenon in a future essay.) Of course, this is exactly what the Chicago Cubs did last night.

As I reflect on the excitement and, yes, anxiety-inducing action that took place during the 2016 World Series Games, I do not doubt the power the curse might have had over the team and their fans over the years. Their belief systems and the negative chatter/subconscious mental scripts that fueled and reinforced those beliefs were obviously very powerful. But let’s turn this scenario around for a moment. What if it had simply taken all these years for a World Series-caliber Chicago Cubs team to come into being?

Now that we all know this baseball team is capable of winning a world championship, hopefully the athletes, future team members, coaches, club owners and fans can store this memory and experience as a new subconscious “known.” The Chicago Cubs played fabulous baseball this season and the cooperation and talent of each player proved once and for all that this is a championship team. I think these past seven (game) days prove that their curse is finally, officially lifted/exorcised/over. So, no more excuses….just play world championship-caliber baseball!

 

 

Special Offer:

Hypnotherapy to Release Weight

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*May not be combined with any other offer. Not redeemable for cash.

 

 

Using Logic to Deal with Superstitions

All hypnotherapy sessions are conducted via phone or Zoom. 

 

 

 (This blog was originally posted on March 24, 2015)

Photo courtesy of Microsoft

 

 

Many years ago, a friend warned me not to turn on a computer on Friday the thirteenth—any Friday the Thirteenth—because a computer virus was supposedly automatically triggered to infect every machine on that date. Was it true? I had no idea, but I believed that the source was reliable, so I didn’t really question the veracity of that claim. Furthermore, I was also fairly computer illiterate at the time, so I reasoned that the safest bet was to stay off a computer on that date—which I did, for many years—just in case.

That subconscious mental script was pretty much locked in and faithfully followed until last month. For whatever reason, perhaps because I simply had too much work to do online to stay off the computer that day—I decided to test and rewrite that script. I ignored the whining, “Oh, but you can’t! You shouldn’t!” protests of my subconscious mind and turned to the logical, reasoning, and decision-making part of my conscious mind to evaluate what kept me stuck in this behavior.

The first and obvious reason I followed this suspicion was, you guessed it, my suggestibility to friends and perceived influential people (Friendly influences, December 3, 2014). According to Hypnosis Motivation Founder John Kappas, Ph.D., we get our early suggestibility from how the primary caretaker (usually the mother) takes care of and interacts with us during early childhood (birth up to age 5). When we are around eight years old, the secondary caretaker (usually dad) has more influence over our suggestibility, while peers, teachers and others impact suggestibility between the ages six to nine years old. By the time we are adults, our suggestibility is pretty much established, but our subconscious mind remains receptive to other people’s suggestions if they resonate with our established known behaviors or interests. Since a friend originally told me about that computer virus, and I trusted this person and believed his knowledge about computers and technology to be superior to mine at that time, I believed the warning was legitimate. While it was fine to be cautious, the error in judgment was not investigating whether the threat was legitimate.

The second thing I noticed was, I had been using this date as a defense mechanism—specifically, undoing (Defense Mechanisms: Undoing and Superstitions, March 23, 2015)—to avoid doing necessary work on a specific date. Since the middle of the month is typically a very busy time of the month, the thirteenth of the month is when a lot of companies are really gearing up to get things done. With news of so many technological advances being made in computers, it was reasonable to worry that someone has also designed a super-bug to disable computers whenever its inventor decides the time is right to launch it into cyberspace. Since I enjoy a three-day weekend as much as the next person—who hasn’t heard about “bad things” that happen on this day?—I was willing to indulge in my superstition so I could kick back a little bit.

Make no mistake, I took every precaution to stay “computer safe” when I decided to test that superstition for myself. I had recently installed a very high-end anti-virus program. One of my good friends is a computer guru, and I am on a first-name basis with the computer technicians at Staples. No one I know has ever been “contaminated” with the Friday the Thirteenth virus (or whatever it’s really called). The time had come to make a stand. I logged on. And nothing happened.

Nothing bad happened, I mean to say. Something very good happened, too. I rewrote a negative, subconscious mental script that no longer worked for me so I could get back to work.

I do love it when a subconscious script has a happy ending—even if it’s a rewritten happy ending.

 

 

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Hypnotherapy to Release Weight

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*May not be combined with any other offer. Not redeemable for cash.

 

 

Defense Mechanisms: The Reaction Formation

All hypnotherapy sessions are conducted via phone or Zoom. 

 

(This Blog was originally posted on February 17, 2015)

 

Photo by Rick Hustead

 

 

    Have you ever felt (secretly) very hostile or resentful of a sibling or colleague, but behaved in a considerate, solicitous and even friendly way toward that individual? Or, have you ever put on a brave face and nonchalantly agreed to ski down a more advanced run even though you felt (privately) terrified to advance past the bunny slope? If so, you have experienced a defense mechanism known as the reaction formation.

   This response is characterized by transforming negative emotions or behaviors—or, more accurately, emotions or behaviors that are perceived to be negative or inappropriate—into a more desirable and functional form. Like all other defense mechanisms, the reaction formation is characterized by four common traits: 1) it is unconscious; 2) it is self-deceptive; 3) it contains elements of denial; 4) it distorts reality through thoughts and action. Their primarily role is to protect the subconscious mind from what it perceives as a threat or “pain.” In this case, the pain would be caused by our peers negatively judging our attitudes or behavior that contradicts acceptable beliefs or behaviors: “How can/why do you resent someone you barely know just because he or she possesses a specific skill or talent?” Rather than risk other people’s criticism of your feelings—the origins of which are unclear even to you—you overcompensate and cultivate those more socially acceptable behaviors to be accepted in your social group.

   According to Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D’s Theory of Mind, we are all subconsciously motivated to maintain and/or restore a known physical and emotional status of comfort and security. In this case, social acceptance represents pleasure, whereas criticism and potential rejection from our peers are pain. Since the SCM is motivated and even programmed to seek the pleasure stimuli, we may adopt these defense mechanisms to literally “defend” against potential social rejection (pain). For example, a veterinary student who so transforms his personal dislike of dogs to specialize in caring for canines has a greater chance of running a successful veterinary practice, where dogs are often patients.

  Even though almost everyone uses one to ameliorate an undesirable reaction to an unpleasant circumstance at some point, these defense mechanisms provide only a temporary perception of control over the environment. Eventually, we must deal with and resolve the primary issue that triggered the defense mechanism to achieve personal growth.

 

 

Special Offer:

Hypnotherapy to Release Weight

Hypnosis for weight loss series: $2,000 for the 10-week series. Each session lasts approximately one hour and includes a free, digital recording of the hypnosis portion of the session. If you pay for the 10-week series up front it is $1,600 to save $400!

 

*May not be combined with any other offer. Not redeemable for cash.

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2023

 

Hypno-Aids

All hypnotherapy sessions are conducted via phone or Zoom. 

 

(This blog was originally posted on July 23, 2014)

 

Photo courtesy of Microsoft

Swinging a pocket-watch in front of someone
is not used to induce the hypnotic state anymore.

  

 

Contrary to popular myth, swinging a pocket-watch in front of someone to induce the hypnotic state is rarely if ever used in the Twenty-first Century. One of the most effective ways to induce hypnosis is the arm raise. According to Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D., this powerful technique is designed to help people reach a very deep level of hypnosis at the first consultation. However, it is not generally used at subsequent hypnotherapy appointments and it is not practical or even possible to use this induction with some clients. The arm-raising technique is also not used with young children, people who have a very short attention span or those who have a physical injury that prevents or limits arm movement.

Following is a list of hypnotic aids (hypno-aids) that may be used to induce hypnosis for these clients and people who have pre-conceived beliefs about hypnosis by attracting their attention and lengthening their attention span to enter hypnosis.

• Air machine. This device produces the lulling sound of an ocean breeze or white noise to lull a client and can facilitate a progressive relaxation.
• Crystal ball or crystal pendant for eye-fascination. This is a secondary-induction technique for adults or a primary-induction technique for young children.
• Penlight. This is an eye-fascination tool.
• Hypno-disk. This eye-fascination tool is composed of a rotating disc designed to relax you and deepen the hypnotic state.
• Metronome set at 60 beats per minute. This tool is especially effective to use with people who have a primarily auditory representational system (i.e., learn and express themselves most effectively through listening and speech).
• Strobe light. I do not use this device because the flashing light can induce seizures in people who have epilepsy.

 

 

Special Offer:

Hypnotherapy to Release Weight

Hypnosis for weight loss series: $2,000 for the 10-week series. Each session lasts approximately one hour and includes a free, digital recording of the hypnosis portion of the session. If you pay for the 10-week series up front it is $1,600 to save $400!

 

*May not be combined with any other offer. Not redeemable for cash.

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2023

 

"Good" Girls and "Bad" Boys

All hypnotherapy sessions are conducted via phone or Zoom. 

 

(This blog was originally posted on September 23, 2014)

 

Photo by Rick Hustead

 

“Disobedience is my joy.” Princess Margaret of England (1930-2002)

 

The lyrics of the 19^th Century nursery rhyme titled “What Are Little Boys Made of?” proclaim that little girls are made of “sugar and spice and all things nice.” On the other hand, so says the poem, little boys are made of “snips and snails and puppy dog tails.” Not only is this attitude about boys very mean-spirited, it is also an inaccurate and unfair portrayal of both sexes’ behavior. No one is generally good all of the time; and no one is generally bad. Human behavior varies along a sliding scale that can fluctuate from day to day. So, why don’t social expectations about girls being “good” and boys being “bad” seem to change? Moreover, why is it more socially acceptable for a male than a female to not be good all the time?

 Why do people believe—and encourage others (future generations) to believe—that this dichotomy is a good thing? Perhaps my question isn’t about social acceptability but subconscious knowns. At some point during our lifetime, probably when we were very little children, we learned a belief/attitude and behavior that we practiced over and over, until it became a subconscious life script. Little girls sit with crossed legs and like to play with dolls? Check. Little boys pull pranks on their sisters and prefer rough play? Check. We see someone model these behaviors and we are rewarded for doing that, too.

The thing about these kinds of stereotypes is that they establish false expectations about how most people generally behave in the real world. Fairy tales about young women languishing in a tower just waiting for a dashing prince to rescue them from an uncertain fate so they can live happily ever after is incredibly detrimental to their self-esteem and self-confidence. Who says the woman couldn’t or shouldn’t be able to do something to rescue herself? After all, Maggie Q’s portrayal of the title character in Nikita, Scandal’s Olivia Pope and virtually every female in Game of Thrones take matters into their own hands to create their own fate in every episode. Why shouldn’t we encourage modern females to model and emulate their smarts, strength and emotional fortitude? Oh, right. Because these women may not always do the socially acceptable correct and expected thing; sometimes, like their bad-boy counterparts, they go a little rogue to get the job done.

Meanwhile, many of us follow the media’s lead in practically glorifying the “bad boy” motif. Gloria Estefan sings about them. Movies and television series fashion them as veritable demi-gods. As I recall, Jake Ryan—Molly Ringwold’s character’s crush in Sixteen Candles—was supposed to have been one (sort of). Last night, television audiences learned in the season finale of Dallas, J.R. Ewing—the man everyone “loved” to hate on the original series—has a self-proclaimed rival in his son John Ross. Even the POTUS on Scandal has immoral (and some criminal) tendencies. Finally: hands up, Vampire Diaries fans, if you think Damon Salvatore is much more fun than his brother Stefan. Nonetheless, no matter what dastardly deeds they have done or plan to do, they somehow, typically end up winning the day. Furthermore, no matter what evil these men unleash on their family, friends or foes, audiences just want more of the same. Maybe that’s because we want to live vicariously through their misbehavior. As for the women in these men’s lives, well…they’re turning out to have a darker side, too.

Not a “bad” side; just a more realistic one.  

 

Special Offer:

Hypnotherapy to Release Weight

Hypnosis for weight loss series: $2,000 for the 10-week series. Each session lasts approximately one hour and includes a free, digital recording of the hypnosis portion of the session. If you pay for the 10-week series up front it is $1,600 to save $400!

 

*May not be combined with any other offer. Not redeemable for cash.

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2023

7 Keys to a Successful, Long-term Intimate Relationship

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 

(This blog was originally posted on February 14, 2014)

 

Photo courtesy of Microsoft

 

 

On Valentine’s Day, many couples around the world spend the day celebrating their love and relationship. Some people will exchange cards and love letters. Others will give their partner a box of chocolates and/or a bouquet of flowers. And, certainly, no other day of the year is more romantic to become engaged. In honor of June being a favorite month in which to get married, I have decided to re-post this blog.

In 2005, I attended an eye-opening seminar at the Hypnosis Motivation Institute about the keys to a healthy, intimate relationship based on the concepts of John Kappas, Ph.D.’s Emotional and Physical Sexuality. In this seminar, instructor Marc Gravelle identified the following seven qualities of a healthy relationship. Following is this list to help you evaluate whether you and your partner are ready to take your relationship to the next level:

1.      You like each other. (This is the most important factor)

2.      You trust each other.

3.      You respect each other.

4.      You have good communication, where you can honestly share your thoughts and feelings about an issue with the other person.

5.      You have good sex (each partner gets his or her needs met).

6.      You have similar interests.

7.      You have separate interests.

Notice that the terms “love” and “in love” are not included in this list. That is because romantic love is what you feel during the honeymoon or early stages of a relationship. Yes, it is exciting, exhilarating and often intoxicating; but the high level of energy required to sustain this stage of infatuation eventually wears away. However, with these seven elements firmly in place, you can still enjoy and appreciate all of these ingredients (qualities) about your partner that first attracted you to each other, and your relationship will continue to flourish.

 

Special Offer:

Hypnotherapy to Release Weight

Hypnosis for weight loss series: $1,250 for 10-week series. (This is a $250 savings!) The $200 fee for the first session will be included in this rate only when the package is purchased up front. Book this package before June 30, 2023, to lock in this price as my rates will be going up on July 1, 2023.

*May not be combined with any other offer. Not redeemable for cash.

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2023

 

 

Defense Mechanisms: Turning Against Self

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 

(This blog was originally posted on January 14, 2015)

Photo by Rick Hustead

 

Sometimes, emotional pain or intense disappointment because something didn’t go our way can lead to self-criticism and self-recrimination (self-blame). Rather than direct our negative emotion toward the cause or source of this pain, we turn on ourselves. For example, have you ever told yourself that the reason a romantic partner ended the relationship with you was because you were unattractive and actually “unworthy” of his or her love? Have you ever scolded yourself for being unskilled and “hopeless” at your job when a relatively new, junior colleague got the pay-raise or promotion you deserved after you landed that big account? Or, have you ever blamed yourself for “doing something stupid” that resulted in an injury while playing your favorite sport or doing a maintenance project around the house? If so, you have turned against yourself, which is a form of defense mechanism.

I previously touched on this phenomenon in my blog titled Stop! Negative Self Talk. Every time we disparage ourselves we create powerful, negative subconscious messages about ourselves that undermine our self-confidence and self-esteem. Since the subconscious mind doesn’t know the difference between fantasy (imagination) and reality, thinking or speaking these negative beliefs in a moment of pique cause equal damage.

Like other defense mechanisms, turning against self is: 1) unconscious; 2) self-deceptive; 3) and it distorts reality through thoughts and action. According to the Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D.’s Theory of Mind, people are subconsciously motivated to maintain and/or restore a known physical and emotional status of comfort and security. Whenever someone says or does something that causes physical injury, hurts your feelings or challenges your beliefs, your mind automatically tries to compensate for this threat or “pain” by activating this or another form of defense mechanism. In this case, you turn against yourself to avoid having to experience the pain of rejection or disappointment that someone else caused you.

To help someone change this behavior, while the client is in hypnosis I desensitize him or her to the situation (and similar situations) that triggered this defense mechanism. I also employ therapeutic guided-imagery techniques to help them reframe their negative beliefs and self-recrimination to positive thoughts that are self-nurturing and promote self-love and self-confidence. Finally, I use imagery techniques to enable the individual to find solutions for those situations and visualize how they have overcome this setback and which lessons they learned from this experience have increased self-confidence and social coping skills.

 

Special Offer:

Hypnotherapy to Release Weight

Hypnosis for weight loss series: $1,250 for 10-week series. (This is a $250 savings!) The $200 fee for the first session will be included in this rate only when the package is purchased up front. Book this package before June 30, 2023, to lock in this price as my rates will be going up on July 1, 2023.

*May not be combined with any other offer. Not redeemable for cash.

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2023