Defense Mechanism: Withdrawal

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 

(This blog was originally posted on January 5, 2015)

Photo by Rick Hustead

 

   Have you ever ignored or tried to “freeze out” or just stop talking to someone you are arguing with once emotions start running high? Has your spouse, partner or friend ever done this to you? Sometimes people avoid visiting or contacting someone who is seriously or even terminally ill as a means of denying the seriousness of the disease and protecting yourself from experiencing any emotional distress that this contact may trigger in you. These scenarios are examples of withdrawal, a powerful defense mechanism in which a person shuts off communication with another individual or even physically withdraws from an unpleasant circumstance as a means of self-protection.

    Like other defense mechanisms, withdrawal is: 1) unconscious; 2) self-deceptive; 3) and it distorts reality through thoughts and action. “Change is a threat to the subconscious mind,” said John Kappas, Ph.D. According to the Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder’s Theory of Mind, people are subconsciously motivated to maintain and/or restore a known physical and emotional status of comfort and security. Whenever someone says or does something that causes physical injury, hurts your feelings or challenges your beliefs, the mind automatically tries to compensate for this threat or “pain” by activating this or another form of defense mechanism.

    To help a client work through this defense mechanism, I would start by asking about the nature of the fear and how this fear is negatively affecting your daily life and interactions with others. Do you withdraw from others during an argument to avoid having to face the negative implications of “losing” the debate or being wrong about a philosophical opinion? Once you have identified the specific motivation behind the avoidance, in hypnosis I would desensitize you to those negative associations and employ guided-imagery techniques so you could imagine how it would feel to listen to a different opinion and be open to learning something new.

    In another example, if you are emotionally withdrawing from or avoiding a terminally ill relative because you don't want to face her own mortality, I would explore your conceptions about death and dying and what losing this person means/would mean to you. To further help prepare you for visiting the patient, I would desensitize you to hear fear/anxiety and any expectations or ideas you may have about the person’s illness and any expectations you hold about what you might perceive or experience during the interaction. I would use guided-imagery techniques to help you imagine feeling calm, comfortable and relaxed during your interactions with the person so you can enjoy the time you spend together.

               

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2023

 

 

 

 

Defense Mechanisms: Undoing and Magical Thinking

 I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 (This blog was originally posted on October 7, 2014)

 

Photo courtesy of Microsoft

 

 

  My great-grandmother used to spit three times or throw salt over her shoulder if anyone said something that could be perceived as wishing bad fortune on another person or situation. Some people say “knock wood” or literally rap their knuckles on a wood surface to prevent an unwanted event. Others wash their hands or mime this behavior as if to cleanse themselves of an event or relationship they don’t want to be associated with. Many kids still make the “cross my heart” pledge to keep a secret or what have you. (In keeping with my grandma’s fear of tempting fate, I always left off the “and hope to die” part.) Each of these behaviors is an example of a defense mechanism, undoing, whereby a person performs some kind of ritual or gesture to negate the likelihood or power of a potential consequence of a behavior or belief.

   Similarly, magical thinking is another form of defense mechanism that entails creating associations—usually imagined and typically based in superstition—between an event and a behavior. There is a great scene in the 1990 film, Betsy’s Wedding, in which Betsy’s dad (Alan Alda) is shooting basketball hoops as he repeats the mantra, “If I make this basket, it will be a great day.” When he missed the basket, he keeps throwing that basketball at the net until (finally) the ball goes in and he feels relieved that he might have a good day. Other examples of magical thinking include the old adages about breaking your mother’s back if you step on a crack in the pavement or being cursed with bad luck if you walk under a ladder—seven years of it if you break a mirror. Neither undoing nor magical thinking truly has the ability to shield or protect a person from whatever consequence he or she believes could occur if the behavior is not performed. However, every time the possible consequence is avoided by performing the action reinforces the person’s belief in its effectiveness, which further encourages the person to keep repeating that behavior until he or she achieves the desired result.

  These and other defense mechanisms are strategies that enable a person to cope with a stressful situation in his or her life. Like other defense mechanisms, undoing and magical thinking are characterized by the following traits: 1) they are unconscious; 2) they are self-deceptive; 3) they contain elements of denial; 4) they distort reality through thoughts and action. Whenever we “avoid” suffering a possible consequence by performing that action, this success reinforces our belief (subconscious mental script) in the effectiveness of that ritual. This success also encourages us to repeat that behavior to avoid negative outcomes in other areas of our life.

   Defense mechanisms are fabulous temporary devices that can help us achieve such security. Undoing rituals such as throwing salt over the shoulder, knocking on wood, and crossing the heart with the promise “and hope to die” should this vow be broken are great examples of learned (and therefore known) behaviors. According to John Kappas, Ph.D.’s Theory of Mind, everyone is subconsciously motivated to maintain and/or restore a known physical and emotional status of comfort and security. Since the subconscious mind is motivated and even programmed to seek this comfort, we may adopt those defense-mechanism behaviors because we learned them from someone whom we trust who does or used to do the same thing. However, the primary role of a defense mechanism is to protect the subconscious mind from what it perceives as a threat or “pain” of having to deal with an unknown. These behaviors only provide a temporary perception of control over the environment. Eventually, we must deal with and resolve the primary issue that has triggered the defense mechanism to achieve personal growth.

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2023

 

Defense Mechanisms: Projection and Projection Identification

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 

(This blog was originally posted on September 22, 2014)

 

Photo by Rick Hustead

 

  Defense mechanisms are strategies to cope with a stressful situation in our lives. Furthermore, at some point in our lives almost everyone uses one to ameliorate an undesirable reaction to an unpleasant circumstance. However, these defense mechanisms provide us only a temporary perception of control over the environment. Eventually, we must address and resolve the primary issue that has triggered the defense mechanism to achieve personal growth.

    A common defense mechanism for handling a distressing situation is to direct our attention and project blame for our emotions about the stressful situation onto other people: projection and projection identification. For example, an individual may accuse a colleague of “hating” her for no reason when she actually has the negative feelings toward the other person (projection). In another example, a man who is tempted to be unfaithful in a relationship may suspect or even blame his spouse of infidelity (projection identification). Why go to these extremes and just admit the truth?

  These (and all other) defense mechanisms share four common traits: 1) they are unconscious; 2) they are self-deceptive; 3) they contain elements of denial; 4) they distort reality through thoughts and action. Their primarily role is to protect the subconscious mind from what it perceives as a threat or “pain.” In this case, the pain would be caused by our peers negatively judging our attitudes or behavior that contradicts acceptable beliefs or behaviors: e.g., unethical behavior or unacceptable feelings toward others. Rather than risk this negative response, accusing someone else of engaging in the undesirable behavior not only protects us but may even attract further (and deeper) acceptance and support from our social group.

    According to John Kappas, Ph.D.’s Theory of Mind, we are all subconsciously motivated to maintain and/or restore a known physical and emotional status of comfort and security. In this case, social acceptance represents pleasure, whereas criticism and potential rejection from our peers are pain. Since the subconscious mind is motivated and even programmed to seek the pleasure stimuli, we may adopt these defense mechanisms to literally “defend” against potential social rejection (pain). By creating an imagined scenario such as perceived persecution by a peer or spousal infidelity, the subconscious mind enables us to rail against an imagined threat to help control the unwanted emotions we feel at that moment.

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2023

 

Defense Mechanism: Intellectualization

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 

(This blog was originally posted on January 20, 2016)

Image courtesy of Microsoft

 

Sometimes we subconsciously intellectualize or try to “explain away” our feelings to temporarily “escape” the perceived/anticipated consequences of experiencing a painful emotion. Instead of feeling frustrated, disappointed or even angry when a plan doesn’t work out, the subconscious mind comes up with a list of explanations why the plan wouldn’t succeed. Rather than allow ourselves to feel or express sadness when a loved one dies, we tell ourselves that this is better because the person is no longer suffering/in pain, etc. This response, Intellectualization, is a powerful defense mechanism that people often use to escape or avoid feeling emotional pain. Rather than feel the emotion associated with an uncomfortable or painful experience, the feelings are transferred into the intellect where they feeling can be explained away rather than experienced.

Like other defense mechanisms I have explained in previous blogs about defense mechanisms, Intellectualization is characterized by the following traits: 1) it is unconscious; 2) it is self-deceptive; 3) it contains elements of denial; and 4) it distorts reality through thoughts and action. Whenever we seem to “avoid” suffering a possible consequence by analyzing and explaining away a feeling, the apparent success of this technique (i.e., suppressed crying or rage) reinforces our belief (subconscious mental script) in the effectiveness of that strategy. The more successful this technique is, the more likely the person is to intellectualize emotions to repress these uncomfortable feelings at other times during their life.

Remember, defense mechanisms are fabulous temporary devices that can help us achieve such security. According to John Kappas, Ph.D.’s Theory of Mind, everyone is subconsciously motivated to maintain and/or restore a known physical and emotional status of comfort and security. Since the subconscious mind is motivated and even programmed to seek this comfort, we may adopt those defense-mechanism behaviors because we learned them from someone whom we trust who does or used to do the same thing. The primary role of a defense mechanism is to protect the subconscious mind from what it perceives as a threat or “pain” of having to deal with an unknown. These behaviors only provide a temporary perception of control over the environment. Eventually, we must deal with and resolve the primary issue that has triggered the defense mechanism to achieve personal growth.

Just like other defense mechanisms, Intellectualization is characterized by a specific behavior or attitude of the person. In this case, the “tell” is, the disconnect that exists between what the client is telling me about an emotional experience and the individual’s facial expression. Also, rather than describing emotions or feelings associated with the event, the person will explain what he or she thought/thinks about the situation. At this point, it is important for me to “bust” or dismantle this emotional disconnect. In so doing, the client is able give her- or himself permission to feel and experience as many of those emotions as the individual can handle while in hypnosis.

For more information about defense mechanisms, I invite you to read my other blogs about this topic: Defense Mechanisms: Projection and Projection Identification; Defense Mechanisms: Undoing and Magical Thinking; Defense Mechanisms: Denial; Defense Mechanisms: Turning Against Self; The Reaction Formation;  and Going for Cause.

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2023

 

Defense Mechanisms: Denial

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 

 

(This blog was originally posted on December 10, 2015)

Photo by Rick Hustead

 

    A baseball player rejects the doctor’s diagnosis that his injured shoulder will never again be strong enough to pitch on a Major League Baseball team, and has his agent contact various team to promote his case. A man refuses to believe that he is terminally ill and books a Mediterranean cruise for Christmas 2023. A mother continues to set a place for her teenage daughter at the dinner table even though the girl ran away six years ago and has never contacted her family since she left home. You continue to wear your wedding band and talk about your husband, even though your spouse has served you with divorce papers two weeks ago.

    These are examples of denial, a defense mechanism in which the mind blocks external events from entering our awareness by abolishing (negating) their very existence to reduce fear of the unknown (“pain”). Like other defense mechanisms, denial is: 1) unconscious; 2) self-deceptive; 3) and it distorts reality through thoughts and action. “Change is a threat to the subconscious mind,” said John Kappas, Ph.D. According to the Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder’s Theory of Mind, we are subconsciously motivated to maintain and/or restore a known physical and emotional status of comfort and security. The primary role of a defense mechanism is to protect the subconscious mind from what it perceives as a threat or “pain” of having to deal with an unknown.

It is possible to successfully “avoid” suffering emotional pain by temporarily ignoring or refusing to accept its existence, and such denial can go on for a very long time. However, our level of success (comfort) in negating an unpleasant event or emotion can only exist as long as we continue to believe our subconscious deception. Over time, becomes increasingly difficult to nurture this defense mechanism as we continue to perceive and process more and more information (message units) to contradict our fictional reality. Eventually, we must address the primary issue that has triggered the defense mechanism in order to resolve it and achieve personal growth.

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2023

 

Eat a Snack!

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 

(This blog was originally posted on December 21, 2014)

 

Photo courtesy of Microsoft

 

     Many years ago, Weight Watchers® ran a television advertisement which really summed up our often-complicated relationship with food. In it, different people were shown eating various yummy morsels while a take on the song “If You’re Happy” plays in the background. The lyrics covered a variety of emotions—happiness, sadness, anger, frustration, etc.—to correspond with eating a specific food item.

   I remember thinking, this is a very clever marketing tool because it subtly (and not-so-subtly) addresses our tendency to justify or cushion the emotions we often associate with food, which can lead to overeating. And isn’t that what so many of us do? The implication of this advertisement was that we learned to associate eating with satisfying or fulfilling an emotion. In this case, according to Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D.’s Theory of Mind, over time and with repeated exposure food becomes a “known” in our subconscious mental script. If your primary caretaker “rewarded” a good grade with your favorite meal, or offered you a bowl of ice cream when a beloved pet died, you likely developed a subconscious association between food and important life events.

   In a similar way, food eventually becomes a subconscious emotional “anchor” that reminds us of comfort, nurturing and even encouragement or protection when times get tough. As adults, we continue this pattern by going out to eat to celebrate a promotion at work or devour a container of Ben and Jerry’s chocolate fudge-brownie ice cream to console ourselves after breaking up with a partner. And just like the song lyrics go, when we feel frustrated we ­reach for some potato chips and crunch through the entire bag as if devouring snack will also macerate the problem. Even if eating this way is no longer pleasurable for you, since the behavior is known, comfortable and safe you keep doing it.

   For more information about how hypnotherapy can help you change unhealthy eating patterns and inappropriate associations with food and to take off extra weight, contact me at (661) 433-9430 or send an e-mail to calminsensehypnosis@yahoo.com.

                   

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2023

 

 

Body Syndromes: Responsibility Syndrome

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

(This blog was originally posted on December 14, 2014)

Photo courtesy of Microsoft

 

 

   Have you ever been plagued by severe pain or discomfort in your back or shoulders while you are working on tight deadline to complete a project at work, or dealing with some family or relationship issues? Do you notice this discomfort is most prominent when you are under intense emotional stress, but it almost instantly—miraculously—goes away when the issue is also resolved? If so, your symptoms may be part of the Responsibility Syndrome.

  This syndrome affects the shoulders and upper back and upper spine. Physiological symptoms and diseases that are characterized by these syndromes include: muscle tightness or muscle spasm in the back, upper spinal subluxation and spinal scoliosis. Like other body syndromes, the symptoms that affect this syndrome are physical manifestations of your perception that you are bearing a lot of responsibility for what is going on in your environment. It is common for people who suffer these symptoms to express the belief that they are “carrying the world on their shoulders.”

   As I explained in a previous blog titled Body Syndromes, whenever a person represses or does not express an emotion the displaced energy from that experience is converted into a physical “symptom” of that emotional trauma. The phenomenon is called a body syndrome. Since there are no nerve endings in the brain, the sensory perceptions (e.g., smell, taste, sight, hearing, touch) that begin there send electric impulses that carry this information through the body. These impulses ultimately begin to manifest physical discomfort in areas of the body that are specifically associated with a certain repressed emotion. Once we are aware of which emotion is being manifested, we can treat the syndrome, Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D., stated.

   It is out of my scope of expertise as a certified hypnotherapist to recognize/identify specific symptoms that have a psychological or physiological basis. Consequently, I refer clients to an appropriate licensed medical and/or mental-health professional to make this diagnosis. Once this other expert has ruled out a medical etiology of your symptom and provided an appropriate treatment, I may continue to work with you in hypnotherapy with a follow-up referral from that licensed professional (California Business and Professions Code 2908). In addition to providing complementary therapeutic benefits and help to alleviate and/or control your discomfort, I can also use hypnosis and therapeutic guided imagery techniques to help you achieve vocational and avocational self-improvement goals.

   My first step to treating someone who is manifesting a Responsibility Syndrome is to explore what emotional “burden” the client is subconsciously carrying or bearing. Next, I would use systematic desensitization to help the client neutralize the intensity of the stimulus that triggers the physical symptom. With a physician’s referral, I would also incorporate therapeutic guided imagery to teach the person effective pain-management techniques to help ameliorate the physical discomfort and continue or return to normal activities. The Emotional Freedom Technique is also useful to increase the person’s perception of being able to control and prevail over those emotional triggers. Therapeutic guided-imagery techniques would also be useful tools with which to explore different options for the client to quickly and effectively resolve interpersonal and/or practical conflicts the client believes are preventing his or her ability to enjoy life. In so doing, these therapeutic approaches can help the person release and let go of overwhelming perceptions of responsibility to focus on and achieve vocational and avocational self-improvement goals.

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2023