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Thursday, June 10, 2021

To All the Horses I Have Loved Before

To minimize risk of exposure to and spread of the COVID-19 virus, I have temporarily suspended in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office, but they will be returning soon! Meanwhile, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE!

To All the Horses I Have Loved Before…

(This blog was originally posted on September 27, 2016)

Photo courtesy of Sara Fogan

Me and Galhoso (“Gally”), the horse who brought me back to riding.

This blog is dedicated with love to the memories of Galhoso (“Gally”), the Lusitano stallion who reignited my love for horses and riding; and to Geeves, the first-ever horse of my own. Rest in sweet peace, dear boys.

When I started my hypnotherapy training, an important focus of my original business plan was to help equestrians improve their communication and relationship with their equine partners, including overcome anxiety around horses and achieve competition goals. Of course, not all of my practice focuses on horses and riding. Smoking cessation, weight loss, overcoming fear of public speaking/performance anxiety, grief resolution and dealing with stress/anxiety are just a few of many other self-improvement goals I help my clients achieve. But I named my hypnotherapy practice Calminsense Hypnotherapy® in homage of my special interest in horses and riding. “Common Sense” is a colloquial expression that means “horse sense,” and I use the word “calm” many times during every hypnotherapy session. Recent queries about my work with equestrians inspired me to pay tribute to some of the horses that have been so special to me over the years.

Paent (pronounced “Paint” and probably named because of his coloring). I rode him on a trail-ride during my one-and-only summer camp experience. He was probably an average-sized horse, about 15 or 15.2 hands high, but I was very little at age eight and he seemed huge. He was a gentle giant—i.e., he didn’t run off or try to dump me during the ride—and I begged my parents to let me take him home with me when I went home.
Renege. I rode this grey gelding for a few years between the ages of about 11 and 15. My first-ever riding instructor owned him and his doppelganger, a gelding called Charlie. Trivia fact: Clint Eastwood is riding Renege in the first 10 minutes of High Plains Drifter. The gelding was very dirty in this scene, but he is definitely in those scenes. My trainer’s husband worked in the movie industry and owned the horses—or bought them right after the movie, I can’t remember. Renege was a little smaller than Charlie and rarely used in jumping lessons—which made him less popular in lessons—but I really bonded with him. I can still remember how slow and smooth Renege’s trot was; in fact, it was probably better categorized as a Western jog. His canter (lope) was also comparatively slow compared to the bolder stride that is desired in dressage. My memory of how wonderful his canter felt probably created the subconscious mental script that my subsequent trainers and I had to work hard re-write so I would feel comfortable riding a true medium (bold) canter.
Galhoso (“Gally”). One of my dear friends co-owns a Lusitano stallion called Galhoso. Sadly, he passed away last week at the very respectable age of 31. His death may not have been completely unexpected, but it has been keenly felt by everyone who loved and cared for him. I am grateful that I was able to visit Gally a final time at the beginning of 2017, and he was as impressive and sweet as the first time we met about 15 years ago. At that first meeting, my friend asked if I would like to sit on him after their training session. She knew that I used to ride when I was a teenager and loved horses. The opportunity to get on a horse again and even trot him around on a lunge line for a few minutes was too good to be true. I admit that the idea of riding a stallion (!) was thrilling, and it still tickles me that I had that experience. That ride also was the beginning of my re-introduction to horses and riding as a passion and life-style. The following year I started taking regular riding lessons again and bought my first-ever horse. I now own a Lipizzaner/Arabian gelding named Galahad whom I affectionately nick-named “Gally-had” a few months before Gally died. I don’t know why I started calling my boy that, but I will continue to do so in loving memory of that tremendous stallion who brought horses and riding back into my life all those years ago.
Geeves. I bought him from my trainer at Silvergate Farms when I turned 35. As I liked to say, I knew I loved him before I ever met or rode him. Having lived in England for seven years I was a fan of the Jeeves and Wooster novels and television series. As soon as I heard there was a horse with that name at the barn I knew I had to meet him. My trainer was surprised when I asked to ride Geeves, but we soon became recognized as a kind of item at the barn: “Sara and Geeves.” At 16.2 hands high, the dark-brown gelding was (and remains) one of the biggest horses I have ever ridden. He was always very gentle with and even protective of me, as I was of him. He taught me how to enjoy every aspect of loving a horse—not just riding but grooming, hanging out on rainy days and worrying about every little thing that horse owners worry about, often unnecessarily. Geeves and I were together for nearly eight years and it’s nearly six years since he passed away. I still miss him every day, and I remember every lesson he taught me.
Candy. I leased this sweet part-Arabian mare for about a year after Geeves died. I had actually been riding her at the end of Geeves’ life because his arthritis was getting worse. I wasn’t ready to own another horse yet, but the schooling mare and I were a good fit as far as size and my riding goals/ability. She took me to my first horse shows and even though I knew she wouldn’t be a permanent part of my life, I am grateful for the time I got to spend with her while I was grieving for my horse.
Galahad. I met Avalon’s Galahad in 2011. Our introduction was similar to how I discovered Geeves. A friend (former trainer) owned a training barn and Arabian-horse breeding facility; when I finally started looking for a horse of my own, she gave me a DVD of some of the horses she was offering for sale at the time. My interest piqued the instant Galahad appeared in the frames. Learning about the horse’s part-Lipizzaner pedigree was like a dream come true. The dancing white horses of the Spanish Riding School symbolized the ultimate of classical dressage training, and I could have a chance to become part of that story. The first time Galahad was brought out for me to watch him work at liberty, even my trainer agreed he seemed to be flirting with me in a way he didn’t behave with another prospective buyer. The first time I got on him for a ride, the gelding cocked a hind leg and dropped his head, waiting patiently as I adjusted my stirrups. “Well, he’s made up his mind!” the trainer said with a laugh, noting Galahad’s relaxation with me on board.

We’ve been together ever since.

Special Offer!

I am extending my May 2021 special offer! This month, when you book your FIRST (Introductory) hypnotherapy session with me you are eligible for a $25 discount on BOTH your Second AND Third follow-up, a la Carte appointments! This promotion may not be combined with any other offer. It is non-transferable and may not be exchanged for cash. Discount does not apply for hypnotherapy-package discounts. Valid through June 30, 2021.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. In July 2019 and in September 2020 she was voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

Wednesday, June 9, 2021

Real-Life Application of Suggestibility

A customer walked into a music store the other day and the shop assistant said, “Good morning.”

The customer replied, “You too.”

The assistant said, “Second shelf, first aisle on the left.”

I have been a certified hypnotherapist, officially, for nearly 16 years. Suggestibility—specifically, the difference between emotional and physical suggestibility—is one of the first concepts I learned about during my training at the Hypnosis Motivation Institute. All these years later, I continue to be fascinated by and amused with the way people’s suggestibility influences people’s day-to-day interactions and communication.

Briefly, HMI founder John Kappas, Ph.D., described suggestibility as the way we communicate and learn. Specifically, physical suggestibility is a literal and direct communication style. Emotional suggestibility entails inference and metaphor; the person looks for meaning behind the words.

Suggestibility occurs along a spectrum and it is not determined by your gender or sexuality. It is a behavior that we typically learn from our primary caretaker. Typically, although not necessarily, “mom,” a primary caretaker is the person whom we identify as the individual that met our most basic survival needs from when we were born until about age 8. So it is very common to have a different suggestibility and communication “style” from our secondary caretaker (e.g., dad), as I recently experienced.

My dad: Can I get you anything from the grocery store?

Me: I actually need more black-tea bags for hot tea. Thanks!

My dad: Okay. And he purchased, literally, a box of black-tea bags.

What I meant, though, was that I wanted more bags of Tetley tea, which we both prefer for hot tea. Because I meant a specific brand, I assumed he knew that, too. Nope. A physical suggestible, he literally purchased what I asked for, and I could only laugh about that.

A few days later, during a riding lesson, my trainer told me to ask my horse to go “forward.” I honestly cannot remember what her specific words or instructions were; they were very general and vague. Literally, a metaphor. But those words resonated so deeply and comfortably that I knew exactly what she meant and what she wanted me to do. They created a picture in my subconscious mind, and that picture became a feeling. My body instinctively knew what I needed to do, so I did that. Once again, I had to laugh. This was also a superb example of suggestibility in action.

In reference to the fun exchange between an employee at a music store, who do you think was the Physical Suggestible? Who was the Emotional Suggestible?

I wonder how the rest of the conversation might have gone…

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Tuesday, June 8, 2021

Flight Syndrome: What Does Your Behavior Say About How You Feel?

(This blog was originally posted on September 14, 2014)

Photo by Rick Hustead

According to John Kappas, Ph.D., whenever a person represses or does not express an emotion the displaced energy from that experience is converted into a physical “symptom” of that emotional trauma. The phenomenon is called a body syndrome. There are no nerve endings in the brain; however, sensory perception (e.g., smell, taste, sight, hearing, touch) that begin there send electric impulses that carry this information through the body. These impulses ultimately begin to manifest physical discomfort in areas of the body that are specifically associated with a certain repressed emotion. Once we are aware of which emotion is being manifested, we can treat the syndrome, the Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder stated.

A few nights ago, a late-night talk-show host told his audience that he tends to wander across the stage while he does the monolog during his show. In fact, the host confided that he never really noticed this behavior until one of his producers showed him a clip from a previous episode. Sure enough, within a few minutes he had drifted several feet to the left of his mark (tape) on the middle of the stage. His studio audience laughed. My mind whirred and came up with an immediate explanation for his nightly migrations across the stage: Flight Syndrome.

Flight Syndrome represents physical symptoms and behaviors that affect the legs and feet. In this syndrome, a person manifests his or subconscious desire to run away from a situation or problem that may be inducing fear or anxiety. Physical symptoms affect the muscular/skeletal structure of the legs and feet (e.g., bunions, breaks or sprains) or even disorders of the circulatory or nervous system (e.g., varicose veins or neuropathy). Flight syndrome behaviors include pacing, toe-tapping and an inability to remain still.

As a certified hypnotherapist, it is out of my scope of expertise to diagnose an illness or to recognize/identify specific symptoms that have a psychological or physiological basis. Therefore, I do and will refer clients to an appropriate licensed medical or psychology professional to determine the cause and/or treat that specific physical symptom that. However, once this other expert has ruled out a medical etiology of your symptom, with a follow-up referral from that licensed professional, I can continue to work with you in hypnotherapy, which can provide complementary therapeutic benefits and help to alleviate and/or control these symptoms and help you to pursue and achieve your vocational and avocational self-improvement goals.

People generally do not know the cause of this presenting issue when they seek hypnotherapy. Therefore, the first step to treating someone who is manifesting a flight syndrome is to explore what the client is running away from and possible reasons why the client needs or wants to run away. Once the possible cause(s) has been established, I would use systematic desensitization to help the client neutralize the intensity of the stimulus that triggers his or her physical symptom or flight behavior. I would also incorporate guided therapeutic imagery and teach the emotional freedom technique to increase the person’s perception of being able to control and prevail over the flight triggers and manage symptoms of physiological discomfort.

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Tuesday, May 25, 2021

The Law of Association and the Law of Dominance

(This blog was previously posted on March 3, 2016)

Photo by Rick Hustead

During a typical hypnotherapy session, one of the most powerful tools to reinforce hypnotic suggestions is the Law of Association: an association between a suggestion (identification of a specific stimulus) and a specific, desired response. One example of this law is, when the hypnotherapist’s hand moves to dim the lights in the office and the client immediately, automatically moves to the recliner in preparation of being hypnotized. This association is possible because long before you come in for your first hypnotherapy session, the Law of Association has facilitated the development of your suggestibility.

In a therapeutic context, when I work with a client to overcome a fear or phobia, I create hypnotic scripts that enable the person to associate the relaxation response (deep breathing, focused mind, increased confidence) with a non-reaction to the original stimulus. Repeated exposure to that stimulus in conjunction with the associated relaxation response eventually extinguishes the fear or phobia.

When the Law of Dominance is employed during hypnotherapy, the hypnotherapist employs a stance of authority by assuming that the client will respond or behave in a specific way (e.g., go into hypnosis). An example of this law is when I say “deep sleep” firmly, not forcefully, and snap my fingers or touch the client’s forehead to deepen the hypnotic state. Through the Law of Association, the individual has already shown that he or she has already associated the link between my dimming the office lights and moving to the recliner. When I say “deep sleep,” these words instruct (directly or inferentially) the client to close his or her eyes as the person drifts into the relaxed hypnotic state that facilitates the desired behavior change (e.g., extinguishing a fear or phobia).

Special Offer!

This month, when you book your FIRST (Introductory) hypnotherapy session with me you are eligible for a $25 discount on BOTH your Second AND Third follow-up, a la Carte appointments! This promotion may not be combined with any other offer. It is non-transferable and may not be exchanged for cash. Discount does not apply for hypnotherapy-package discounts. Valid through May 31, 2021.

Monday, May 24, 2021

Schadenfreude and the Law of Attraction

Photo by Rick Hustead

There is a scene in International Velvet when a horse on a rival Olympic team knocks down a pole and incurs a points-error. When the protagonist’s aunt Velvet sees the error on television, she shouts, “Good!” The opponent’s error has made a little more room for her niece, Sarah, to secure a team gold medal if she can get around the course without making any mistakes. (Of course, she does.) But that doesn’t happen before Velvet’s partner, John, raises an eyebrow and comments, “That’s not very sporting of you!”

Schadenfreude.

I came across this word in the context of the plot in A Trick of the Light, a novel by Louise Penny, which I finished reading a few weeks ago. Basically, it means “deriving pleasure from someone else’s misfortune.” In the book, one of the characters is finally enjoying the critical recognition of her talent at a private show for her paintings, followed by a celebratory barbecue at her home. However, her husband and some friends discover the body of a former friend/enemy their garden the following day. The artist wants to celebrate the success of her show and budding career, but she feels guilty about wanting her art to be lauded even after the crime that happened in front of her home. Perhaps more disturbing to her is the eventual realization that her husband, a successful artist, has actually been jealous of her talent for many years and secretly hoped that the murder might derail her success a little bit.

In addition to the scenarios described above, Urban Dictionary lists several common examples of this experience: hearing someone shout “Hold the door!” while running for an elevator, only to reach the lift just as the door shuts. Or, a straight-A student missing one question on a five-question quiz to bring the test score down to a B (80 percent). How about when the quarterback on the opposing team gets sacked after preventing your team from scoring a touch-down? Another example might be watching the value of a company’s stock shares plummet right after you have been fired. And so on.

It is not uncommon or even unnatural to feel happy about or want to get a small bit of compensation for our own misfortune. But, how “good” does it really feel? Does it make you feel happy? Relieved? Or, do you scramble for all of the reasons why the other person deserved this misfortune or inconvenience so you can justify feeling good about it? Human emotions can be very tricky things. They can be accompanied by physiological sensations such as palpitations, change in breathing, trembling, etc. Sometimes censorial thoughts from the conscious mind (and conscience) intrude on these celebrations, too: Why do I feel good about someone else feeling bad?

Try this simple technique to get a different perspective about what is going on inside and around you: Draw a deep, calming breath and hold this air in your lungs for four seconds. Do not think about the situation, your emotions or why you think/imagine you felt the way you do or did when the situation first occurred. Instead, focus your attention on your breath and someone or something that brings you a lot of love and joy. Perhaps it is your spouse, or your kids, a pet, your job, a hobby, etc. Then, as you exhale, release the breath on the word love. Repeat this exercise several times to reinforce this positive direction of your attention.

In his book, Success Is Not an Accident: The Mental Bank Concept, Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D., explains how the mental scripts we program into our subconscious mind determine the outcome of our actions. Whether we imagine a positive or negative result, the SCM follows that subconscious mental script to actualize the goal you “want.” When we focus on enjoying the negative outcome another person is experiencing, we may also be reinforcing a subconscious desire for a similar negative event to happen to us. Conversely, when we send out positive, encouraging energy to celebrate another person’s success, we are also telling the subconscious mind, I want success, too! Whether that success includes getting into an elevator before the door closes or celebrating your partner’s triumphant art show, wishing another person well is more likely to attract good things to you than the temporary pleasure of schadenfreude ever could.

For more information about the Law of Attraction, I invite you to read my blog titled Intuition and the Law of Attraction and check out the book resources on this topic in Suggested Reading.

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