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Thursday, May 13, 2021

Stages of Development and Hypnotherapy

To minimize risk of exposure to and spread of the COVID-19 virus, I have temporarily suspended in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office, but they will be returning soon! Meanwhile, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE!

(This blog was originally posted on February 9, 2016)

Photo by Rick Hustead

According to psychologist Erik Erikson, personality develops throughout a person’s lifetime. In other words, you “become” the person you are, starting from birth until you die. Each stage is characterized or punctuated by a specific goal that you must achieve to progress to the next stage of development. If you do not overcome that challenge, however, you will continue to be affected by the unresolved issue that is associated with the stage of development in which you are stuck.

Dr. John Kappas incorporated Erikson’s Stages of Development into his hypnotherapy and therapeutic approach. The Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder believed that hypnotherapists must always try to alleviate a client’s presenting issue “symptomatically.” However, if that approach doesn’t work it may be necessary to uncover the cause of the person’s presenting problem.

“Many conditions may be ‘relieved’ later in life if they’re not completed,” Dr. Kappas said. “We always attempt to fulfill what’s missing.” If a client is stuck in one of these stages, the hypnotherapist must explain the stages of development and discuss where/why the conflict arose. It may also be necessary to explore why the stage of development hasn’t been completed, he explained.

However, Dr. Kappas warned that age-regression therapy should not be used to identify the cause of a client’s presenting problem that developed during one of those stages. This technique could inadvertently expose a host of other issues that the person had previously repressed or dealt with, which the hypnotherapist would have to help the individual address all over again. Furthermore, HMI does not endorse age-regression as a form of therapy and legal courts do not admit any evidence obtained using this method.

The goal of the therapy is to help the client resolve this conflict and set appropriate goals that are appropriate to facilitate progression to the stage of development that is appropriate for the client’s age, he said. Following is a summary of Erikson’s Eight Stages of Development:

Stage 1: Infancy (oral-sensory, birth-1 year). Conflict: trust vs. mistrust. Important event: feeding.

Stage 2: Early Childhood (muscular-anal, 1-3 years). Conflict: autonomy vs. doubt. Important events: Toilet training, suggestibility.

Stage 3: Play Age (locomotor, 3-6 years). Conflict: initiative vs. guilt. Important event: Independence.

Stage 4: School Age (6-12 years). Conflict: industry vs. inferiority (competence). Important event: School.

Stage 5: Puberty and Adolescence (12-18 years). Conflict: identity vs. role confusion. Important event: Peer relationship.

Stage 6: Young Adulthood (19-40 years). Conflict: intimacy/affiliation and love vs. isolation. Important event: Love relationships.

Stage 7: Middle Age (40-65 years). Conflict: generativity vs. stagnation/self-absorption. Important event: parenting.

Stage 8: Later life (Maturity, 65 years to death). Conflict: integrity vs. despair. Reflection on and acceptance of one’s life.

Special Offer!

This month, when you book your FIRST (Introductory) hypnotherapy session with me you are eligible for a $25 discount on BOTH your Second AND Third follow-up, a la Carte appointments! This promotion may not be combined with any other offer. It is non-transferable and may not be exchanged for cash. Discount does not apply for hypnotherapy-package discounts. Valid through May 31, 2021.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. In July 2019 and in September 2020 she was voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

Wednesday, May 12, 2021

Emotional Vampires

(This blog was originally posted on May 7, 2014)

Photo by Rick Hustead

Vampires are very popular these days. They show up as main characters in popular television series and movies. They are heroes (or anti-heroes) in novels for young-adult and adult readers. The Count on Sesame Street teaches young viewers about numbers and counting. Finally, vampires represent a powerful metaphor to describe a person who literally drains someone else of positive energy and emotional fortitude. Maybe you even know or have someone like this in your life. Like the creatures represented in literature and on film, emotional vampires “prey” on just about anyone they can sink their emotional fangs into. Just like Kristen Wiig’s character of “Penelope” on Saturday Night Live, they are very needy individuals who try to one-up every other person in the room in order to feel more confident and in control of their lives. However, like the supernatural creatures they represent, emotional vampires share specific characteristics and must also observe certain behavioral protocols that make them easy to recognize and defend against.

How to recognize an emotional vampire:

Emotional vampires have a lower vibrational energy than others around them.
They are often in the middle of or just getting through some kind of emotional disaster. Part of their charm or attraction is that they give off a lost or needy vibe that motivates others to want to just look after them during a crisis. By then, of course, you are already “hooked” and eager to offer more support when another problem develops.
They often revel in their negative experiences or other people’s disappointments.
When you share a painful confidence with this person, he or she seems to be in competition with you to describe an even more distressing experience: “When that happened to me….” When you interact with an emotional vampire, you actually feel worse about what is going on in your life than you did before.
An emotional vampire’s negative energy literally “sucks” out and dampens the optimism, good mood and spiritual/psychic energy of everyone else in his or her environment.

How to defend against an emotional vampire:

Remember: Just like the vampires in horror movies, an emotional vampire must be invited or welcomed into your emotional/personal life. Whenever you feel uncomfortable in someone’s presence, pay attention/listen to that emergency alert from the primitive part of your subconscious mind, warning you to stay away from someone who could be emotionally (or even physically) dangerous to you.
Be a true friend to one or several people and surround yourself with individuals who are true friends to you. These are people who like, trust and respect you. They are individuals with whom you share various mutual and separate interests. They may challenge you, but their support does not waver. They celebrate your successes with you, but they do not insult or ridicule you and they do not try to make you bad or worse about a misfortune. They look out for your best interests, and you do the same for them. They also “close ranks” around you and try to shield you from the negative energy of others who try to bring you down.
Participate in activities that you enjoy doing and make you feel relaxed, happy, positive and self-confident. The more positive energy you give off, the more positive energy you will attract!
Use your positive energy (attitude) to neutralize negativity in your environment. See my blog titled “Energy Exchange” for more information about how to raise the energy level in your environment.
Finally, try this cool imagery exercise (one of my favorites!) to create a protective energy shield around you. Visualize, imagine, picture or pretend that you are surrounding yourself with silken strands of pure, positive energy. This energy is manifested as the most delicate strands of gold and silver light, more delicate than the silk of a spider’s web but millions of times stronger. (Remember: silk from a spider’s web is already proportionally stronger than steel. In other words, very strong!) Gradually wind these gold and silver strands around yourself, starting with your feet, and work your way up your body. These strands appear invisible to you and everyone around you, but only until the emotional vampire tries to get to close to you. Unlike a traditional spider’s web, this silk repels rather than ensnares the threat. These strands of beautiful, pure energy encase you like a knight’s armor. They are strong as iron but slippery as soap or ice. Since there is nothing for an energy vampire to hold or sink his or her fangs into, this person has no choice but to is go away and find another “victim.”

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