Let It All Out

(This blog was originally posted on February 27, 2017)

In her song titled “I Just Wanna Cry,” Kristine Wriding describes a feeling we have probably all experienced at one time or another: the desire to just get in bed, crawl under the covers and have a good cry. I have no problem with that. In fact, from time to time it is very good to do just that.

As I explained in my blog titled Body Syndromes, pent-up emotions are transferred to another part of the body to be manifested later as a physical symptom when we do not express our emotions. However, if when we give ourselves permission to cry when we are sad or shout/yell when we are angry, we can release those negative emotions and prevent carrying all that negative energy around.

Having said that, it is also important to let go of your conscious and subconscious attachment to whatever or whoever triggered that emotional release. If you continue to focus and dwell on a source of stress/anxiety you will only continue to experience the emotional/physiological discomfort. Rather than releasing this negativity, re-visiting the negative memory only strengthens the negative association. As John C. Maxwell observed, “A victim mind-set causes people to focus on what they cannot do instead of what they can do. It is a recipe for continued failure.”

Therefore, once you have expressed your feelings, give yourself permission to truly release any attachment to that negativity so you can continue to move forward in your life.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2018

More Thoughts of the Day

Photo by Sara Fogan

     Every now and then I like (and need) to take a few moments and remind myself about what is really important to me, in my life. If you follow me on my Calminsense Hypnotherapy Facebook page you may have seen some of these quotes before on this page, or will in the future. Many of these Quotes of the Day are beautiful examples and illustrations of the work I do as a hypnotherapist, so I will probably draw on them in future essays.

• “Our chief want is someone who will inspire us to be what we know we could be.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

• “A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down.” – Arnold H. Glasgow

• “The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work.” – Richard Bach

• “You have to be brave with your life so others can be brave with theirs.” – Lolly Daskal

• “A pessimist is someone who complains about the noise when opportunity knocks.” – Oscar Wilde

• “Hearts will never be practical until they are made unbreakable.” – L. Frank Baum

• “I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times.” – Bruce Lee

• “To have a child is to decide forever to let your heart go walking around outside your body.” – E. Stone

• “The opposite of love is not hate; it's indifference.” – Elie Wiesel

• “Nothing ever comes to one that is worth having, except as a result of hard work.” – Booker T. Washington

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2018

It's Tax Season...Give a Twinkie!

(This blog was originally posted on February 23, 2017)

Photo by Rick Hustead

It is still about two months away, but April 15 (Tax Day)—or, April 17, this year—feels much closer for a lot of us. Whether you are meeting with accountants and preparing to write those checks or the CPA helping others negotiate tax season, this is a great opportunity to remind you to be kind to yourself and start doling out those “Twinkies.”

In this case, I am not referring to the Hostess Twinkie cake but a concept introduced by John Kappas, Ph.D. Rather, a Twinkie is the concept Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder used to represent a metaphoric reward for a behavior or attitude that may feel like a sacrifice to the other person but takes some considerable stress off you. In the context of paying or preparing to pay annual taxes, an Emotional Sexual individual may be experiencing extra stress as he or she balances the budget and looks for ways to eke out extra money to send to the government in April. As I explained in my essay titled All About Emotional and Physical Sexuality, Part 3, an Emotional Sexual’s primary focus is always financial security. If the person is worried or preoccupied about something to do with his or her career or money, this person will not have time or patience for anything else until this issue is resolved. This is not good news for the Physical Sexual partner, who becomes anxious and gets hurt feelings if romantic overtures are ignored or rebuffed.

To prevent misunderstanding and unnecessary conflict and increase physical desire between you and your partner, Dr. Kappas recommended that each individual “give a Twinkie” (a metaphoric treat or favor) in the form of a desired behavior, from time to time. For example, the Physical Sexual partner can give the person time and space to work on those W-2, 1099, etc., forms without interrupting the other person to complete household chores or even for physical intimacy. (The Emotional probably isn’t interested in that right now, anyway.) In return, the other person can send love notes, have flowers delivered or set a date to share a romantic meal with the Physical partner to show that he or she is still thinking about the other person. Not only will these kinds of behaviors take pressure off, the subconscious gratitude each person feels for being allowed to satisfy core personality traits will increase sexual desire and willingness to express loving/affectionate feelings for the other person, later.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2018