Turn It Around

(This blog was originally posted on February 19, 2014)

Photo courtesy of Microsoft

                A neighbor calls you at 2 a.m. to let you know that your dog has got out of the yard, and you have to chase him through the neighborhood before he finally heels and you can get him home. Your car doesn’t start, and you have to call road-side assistance to jump-start the engine so you can get to the mechanic and buy a new battery. You rush to get to work to meet a client, only to find out that your 11 a.m. appointment is a no-show. You agree to stay late to finish a project at work, and then get stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic during the evening commute.

              Have you ever had a day like this? Okay, maybe not exactly like this, but frustrating (“bad”) in its way? What did you do about it? How did you react and handle the frustrations—or did you handle them, at all? One of my favorite strategies for dealing with an uncomfortable situation is to “turn it around.” Cheryl O’Neil, C.Ht., introduced me to this philosophy when I was training to become a hypnotherapist at the Hypnosis Motivation Institute. HMI founder John Kappas, Ph.D. coined this phrase. It is similar to the idea of every cloud has a silver lining, except you play an active role in creating your silver lining.

For example, rather than silently (or verbally) curse your canine companion for his naughtiness, you thank him for making you aware that you have a hole in your fence or that your gate is broken. Another advantage of your late-night jog through the neighborhood is that you are getting a good cardiac workout. When you have to make the unscheduled stop at the car-repair shop, this delay to your morning commute likely saved you from having to deal with rush-hour traffic. As for your no-show appointment at work, this is a great opportunity to catch up on other work or projects that need your attention: return phone calls, answer e-mails, rehearse the presentation you must give to your department next week, etc. While you are stuck in stop-and-go traffic during your drive home—when you are not moving—practice diaphragmatic breathing to help you relax. Start by drawing a slow, deep breath through your nose and hold it for five seconds, then release the breath through the mouth. You know you are doing this technique correctly because your tummy will extend or push out a little bit as you inhale, but the shoulders will not move. Imagine that as you inhale, you are drawing in patience, calm and relaxation; as you exhale, you are releasing any frustration and negative emotion that you have felt during the day. The goal is to clear your mind of the frustrations you have successfully dealt with today.  

Remember, the worst is over. Tomorrow is a new day, and all things are possible.

               

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2015

 

Body Syndromes

(This blog was originally posted on April 20, 2014)

      According to John Kappas, Ph.D., whenever a person represses or holds in (does not express) an emotion the displaced energy from that experience is converted into a physical “symptom” of that emotional trauma. Even though there are no nerve endings in the brain, emotions in the brain through our perceptions (e.g., smell, taste, sight, hearing, touch). Electric impulses carry this information through the body and begin to manifest physical discomfort in those areas that are specifically associated with a certain repressed emotion, the Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder stated. The five basic body syndromes are:

·         Crying Syndrome (affects the neck, chest and head): What do you want to say or express?

·         Fight/Reaching Syndrome (affects the arms and hands): What do you want to defend yourself from? What are you reaching for?

·         Flight Syndrome (affects the legs and feet): What do you feel you need to run away from?

·         Guilt/Sexual Frustration Syndrome (affects areas and organs around the waist, lower back and hips): What do you feel guilty about? What is going on in your relationship?

·         Responsibility Syndrome (affects areas and organs around the shoulders and upper back): What do you feel responsible for?

               

As a certified hypnotherapist, it is out of my scope of expertise to diagnose an illness or to recognize/identify specific symptoms that have a psychological or physiological basis. Therefore, I do and will refer clients to an appropriate licensed medical or psychology professional to determine the cause and/or treat that specific physical symptom that. However, once this other expert has ruled out a medical etiology of your symptom, with a follow-up referral from that licensed professional, I can continue to work with you in hypnotherapy, which can provide complementary therapeutic benefits and help to alleviate and/or control these symptoms and help you to pursue and achieve your vocational and avocational self-improvement goals.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2015

Changing of the Guard

(This blog was originally posted on June 17, 2014)

Photo courtesy of Microsoft

            One of the most popular tourist attractions in London, England is watching the changing of the queen’s guard at Buckingham Palace. The Changing of the Guard is an elaborate ritual that occurs with military precision—of course, the guards are soldiers—that serves a practical purpose as well as a symbolic function. It occurs several times each day when one group of soldiers goes “off-duty” and the new shift comes on. After all, nobody can be expected to work indefinitely at peak efficiency and skill without sacrificing the quality and/or integrity of the person, equipment or project in question. At some point, a physical and mental break from the task is necessary, or you risk the entire system breaking down.

                You likely have experienced a version of the Changing of the Guard in your life, too. Perhaps the owner of a company where you worked has retired, or the company where you work gets a corporate overhaul. Your new boss wants to make sweeping changes to the ethos and philosophy of how business will be done from now on: it’s up to you and your colleagues to tow the corporate line to continue working there. In another scenario, if a parent gets a new job in another city or state, the entire family will probably pack up and move, too. The parent(s) will have to find a new place for the family to live and the kids will probably need to change schools. Or, if you and your partner go separate ways, it will be up to each of you to review and revise your expectations about which habits, behaviors and/or attitudes you will (and will not) tolerate in your future relationship(s). Unlike the previous examples, you will probably have more autonomy to determine what you will do next and when you will do it. Furthermore, you will be equipped with the wisdom you garnered from this relationship to create a more successful and lasting partnership with someone new.

            Like the Changing of the Guard, we must all adjust and even recalibrate specific aspects of our lives to adapt to the changes that invariably occur around us. Like the soldiers of Queen Elizabeth II’s palace guard, many times we don’t have a choice about how or whether to respond to a change; we simply do as we are told when we are told to do it. It is easy to follow these directions because these behaviors are likely already established knowns in your subconscious mind. If you have been doing a task or series of tasks over and over at work they are familiar, comfortable and even easy for you. This familiarity may even be comforting to you, since you know how to do “x” and have achieved a certain level of competence or skill in performing that task. However, when you are faced with a new situation or circumstance, the comfort of its familiarity is missing. Your new responsibilities are unfamiliar, unknown and painful. Even though the relationship is over, now that the person you are used to relying on for support, companionship and advice is no longer in your life, the absence of this known paralyzes you. You don’t know what to do, but you know you need to keep moving.

Whether we consciously know or are willing to accept or agree with the apparent purpose for the changes that occur in our lives, usually they are to our advantage. Our reflexive, knee-jerk reaction is to dislike or disagree with something new because it is unfamiliar and unknown. Yet, once we get used to that unknown—doing that new task, learn the company’s new rules, give ourselves permission to let go of a previous failed relationship—the rewards of this change typically exceed our expectations. For example, I was sad and annoyed when Jay Leno retired as host of The Tonight Show. I liked his jokes and humor; he was the late-night host that I knew best and felt comfortable with. Eventually, I accepted that it was time for Mr. Leno to retire and that NBC executives needed to change the guard in their programming to remain a competitive network. Of course, I’m glad, now, that I was able to accept this new change, because I found a “new” favorite late-night host in Seth Meyers (whom I already knew and liked from his stint on Saturday Night Live).

Personal growth and change are part of live and living. Even when all you want to do is stand still and keep doing what you have been doing all this time, force yourself to take a step forward and move out of your comfort zones. Look at it this way: these life challenges, or changes of the guard, are really opportunities for you to examine, evaluate and change/improve aspects of your life that aren’t working the way you want them to.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy®, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2015