The Philosophy of Thank you, Part 2

                Many years ago I read an article about how the late Princess of Wales was raising her young sons, Prince William and Prince Harry, to be as much like “normal” (i.e., non-royal) children as possible. One of the most poignant things she taught them was the importance of good manners—especially, saying thank you. Apparently, she once told them something along the lines of: “If you ask for a Coke® and someone gives you orange juice, say ‘thank you’ and drink the orange juice.”

                A few days before Christmas I tuned in to an animated debate during Bill Carroll’s KFI broadcast. The question being discussed was: “Is it ever okay to give someone a monetary gift card for Christmas?” Many callers said that giving cash or a gift card to a close relative, loved one or friend was the height of tackiness or even thoughtlessness. Some people believed such a gift was a sign of epic laziness: What? You couldn’t even spend a couple of minutes to think about what I would like and go get it for me? Other people seemed to be ambivalent: Money is cool, but if nothing else I can always re-gift the card to the gardener if I don’t like it, etc. A final group had no problem giving (or receiving) gift cards as a present.

                O-kay. Can I take the high road by taking the middle of the road in this debate? Great!

                As someone who both gave and received gift cards at the holidays, I see no problem with or question about the thoughtfulness of these kinds of presents. While it may not be financially feasible to purchase that new iPad for your nephew, it’s usually possible to make some kind of monetary contribution to the gift in the form of a gift card. If that special someone specifically hints that the most appreciated gift would be money to help pay down a credit-card debt or pay this month’s phone bill, how is obliging this request a sign of insensitivity? Every little bit adds up, right? And, at the end of the day it is the thought that counts. The true, original, spiritual meanings of Christmas, Chanukah, Kwanza, etc., and exchanging presents on birthdays or anniversaries, were never to celebrate consumerism. Ultimately, when gifts are exchanged isn’t it to express loving sentiments toward and appreciation for someone you care about?

                No matter who you are, no matter what you are doing, saying “thank you” to express gratitude that someone thought of you is still a very cool thing to do. It really is the thought and not the gift that counts.

                What are you grateful for?

               

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014

The Philosophy of Thank you, Part 1

                Every Friday, Jimmy Fallon writes thank-you notes to various individuals, organizations or even theoretical concepts for inspiring some of his comedic commentary on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon. The content of most of his thank-you notes is silly; the melancholic musical accompaniment and facial expressions of The Roots’ keyboard player, James Poyser, just makes the act even more hilarious. I believe that the popularity and original Fallon’s inspiration for this sketch boils down people’s basic human desire for others to recognized and appreciate their contributions in society.

                I have also noticed something very interesting about saying thank you. More and more often, it seems that many people acknowledge someone else’s expression of gratitude with the same expression, as opposed to saying “you’re welcome.” This trend is particularly obvious at the end of almost every interview on PBS’s News Hour. Very few guests acknowledge anchor Judy Woodruff’s or Gwen Ifill’s expression appreciation for their expert contributions with “you’re welcome.” Instead, they seem to thank the host for thanking them. I can’t help but wonder, what is that all about? Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D., observed that someone who learns by inference and metaphor (emotional suggestibility) usually feels embarrassed when praised or acknowledged in front of others even if he or she desires that recognition.

My training and experience as a certified hypnotherapist and observer of human behavior leads me to infer that most of the program’s guests do possess emotional suggestibility, based on their professional backgrounds. Historians, scientists, social scientists and political commentators that regularly appear on this program are typically members of academia (college or university staff). When they provide the information or insights these experts provide on the news program, these experts refer to conclusions or opinions they have already drawn in the course of their own work (e.g., research data or social interactions or patterns). When Ms. Woodruff or Ms. Ifill thanks someone for appearing on the program, perhaps the guest is literally thanking the host for giving him or her an opportunity to share this information with a wide, television audience base.            

                No matter who you are, no matter what you are doing, saying “thank you” is a very cool thing to do. It’s also emotionally fulfilling for both parties to acknowledge someone else’s well-deserved gratitude for your valuable contribution!

               

 

 

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014