All About Emotional & Physical Sexuality, Part 1

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 

(This blog was originally posted on February 2, 2016)

Photo by Rick Hustead

 

 

The concept of Emotional and Physical Sexuality formed the cornerstone of Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D.’s  therapeutic philosophies and approach. He believed that these personality traits were more important and influential than a person’s suggestibility, because sexual personality was all about the individual’s motivations and behavior in an intimate relationship.

Whereas suggestibility (how we learn) is learned/acquired from the primary caretaker (usually, mom), the secondary caretaker (typically dad or another father figure) typically models sexual personality traits. Like suggestibility, a person’s Sexual Personality (“E & P”) is described as varying degrees of “Emotional” and “Physical” characteristics. However, emotional and physical Sexual Personality characteristics are not interchangeable with emotional and physical Suggestibility. In his research, Dr. Kappas observed that an individual’s Sexual Personality starts to develop during childhood, typically when the youngster is between eight and fourteen years old. He hypothesized that, at a very subconscious level, modeling the sexual personality traits of the father figure is a way for the child to get (metaphorically) closer to Mother.

Unlike suggestibility, which can change somewhat and be affected by different events in an individual’s life, Sexual Personality does not alter that much during a person’s lifetime. Furthermore, these characteristics facilitate understanding and the ability to predict and shape a person’s behavior. I and my colleagues who also went through the hypnotherapy certification program at HMI appreciate the value and utility of this model when we work with our own clients to achieve their vocational and avocational self-improvement goals.

Following are highlights of Dr. Kappas’s model of E&P Sexual Personality

• Emotional and Physical Sexuality is NOT a male/female thing. The male can be emotional and the female can be Physical, and vice versa.
• Opposites attract: An Emotional (e.g., social wall-flower) is drawn to the Physical (e.g., social butterfly), and vice versa because we are naturally attracted to our equal opposites. There is more intensity, more vulnerability with your opposite.
• There is a subconscious goal to increase/raise the subdominant personality. For example: The goal of the Physical partner is to raise the Emotional partner’s subdominant trait (physicality).
• Different partners trigger different behaviors, depending on your E/P score
• The E&P score will also differ depending on the phase of the relationship (Honeymoon vs. Crisis)
• 50/50 scores on the Sexuality test indicate: “We don’t know what you are.” You will have a different score for different relationships, different phases of the relationship. But you will always have a basic personality.
• You can out-Phys/out-Emo a “same” partner. “Opposite” partners/relationships are more intense, but there is 10 times more vulnerability when you are with your subconscious opposite.

 

4 CORE TRAITS of the Emotional/Physical Sexual Personality

 

(You must have positive confirmation of 3 core traits before deciding/identifying the sexual personality.)

 

1. Parental background (when the pattern breaks, you need to find out why. Parents may be going through a different phase of their relationship.)
2. Response to rejection (When rejected, the Physical Sexual clings to the partner vs. an Emotional Sexual, who “freezes out” the partner)
3. Relationship with the physical body (comfortable vs. uncomfortable with physical contact) A Physical Sexual is connected/immediacy to the emotion, needs physical contact. There is a physical sensation with emotional reaction, somatization in the body. The Emotional Sexual has a disconnect of physical sensation to emotion. Sometimes the Emotional doesn’t know how he/she feels. Emotional protects the body, has a territory/boundary because the Emotional doesn’t know how they feel about their body or feelings.
4. Patterns of personal relationships (History of E/P partners. For example, if you are constantly attracted to a Physical Sexual, you are probably an Emotional Sexual, and vice versa.)

 

I will describe the priorities and behavioral motivations of the Emotional and Sexual Personalities in my next blog.

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit my website. 

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