Cycle of Violence

(This blog was originally posted on May 31, 2016)

Photo by Rick Hustead

Hypnotherapy is an extremely effective tool to help manage anger and frustration. However, dealing with domestic violence is another situation entirely. This abuse can be physical, sexual or emotional violence; bleeding and other indications of physical battery do not have to be evident for the negative behavior to be classified as abuse. Furthermore, it can be directed against spouses (wives and husbands), the elderly, children, etc. Examples of such violence include spousal abuse, child abuse, incest and rape.

The underlying “cause” or subconscious motivation of the abuse is for the abuser to gain or feel power over and control the victim. For example, the person may threaten or actually withhold access to money/finances, intimidate with coercion or threats, humiliate or “guilt” the victim, isolate from friends or other family members, minimize the effects of the abuse/deny it happened, prevent access to kids/deny visitation, use “male privilege,” etc. Whether the duration of this cycle is long (e.g., lasts weeks or months) or short (e.g., lasts hours or days), it usually escalates and can have deadly consequences for the victim. 

Following is an outline of the typical pattern or cycle that violence is expressed.

Phase 1: Building Tension

Stress

Frustration

Low Self-esteem

Poor Communication

Phase 2: Explosion/Losing Control

Fight

Anger

Fear

Phase 3: Honeymoon/Loving & Remorse Stage

Guilt

Remorse

Promises: “I’ll never do it again!”

Phase 1

Phase 2

Phase 3

  … And so the cycle repeats.

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Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. In July 2019 she was voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

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