Moving On

(This blog was originally posted on March 28, 2016)

Photo by Rick Hustead

“There comes a time when you have to choose between turning

the page and closing the book.” – Lolly Daskal

How do you know when it is time to end a stagnant relationship? How do you know when it is finally time to give up a comfortable (albeit, unwanted and unhealthy) habit? How do you know when you should just add that new song or album you really like to your iPod playlist, even though the genre of that music is not popular among your friends and acquaintances? How do you know when is it an ideal opportunity to read a novel by an author you have never heard of rather than re-visit a favorite novel and beloved characters you have already completed ten times? How do you know if, when, it is ever a good idea to leave a well-paying job that you’ve been doing for years because you suddenly have an opportunity to pursue the career you have always wanted?

How do you know that “when” has become “now”?

As I explained in a previous blog titled Traditions: It’s All in the Family, the subconscious part of the mind likes and wants to do what is familiar (known), which the SCM equates with being “safe” and comfortable. Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D. proposed that human behavior is based on the subconscious mental scripts that we create during early childhood, at which time the subconscious mind is accumulating and storing various message units that will ultimately comprise the subconscious life script. Each message is ultimately categorized as a positive (pleasure) or negative (pain) experience, and anything that the subconscious mind does not recognize falls under the category of “pain.” Even if the conscious mind questions the behavior, its logic/reasoning/will-power/decision-making faculties will be no match for the unspoken acceptance of that action, in the subconscious mind.

There is no question that change can be painful. Change is almost always uncomfortable, even a desired change. Change is challenging, but that challenge is usually the impetus that motivate us to try a new behavior or belief system in the first place. For example, before a toddler takes that first, tentative step, it is so much easier and initially faster to just crawl around the floor on hands and knees. But after watching Mom, Dad and Sibling walking quickly out of reach, the youngster becomes curious and motivated to try a different way to get around. So the child takes a few tentative steps—first holding on to a parent’s hand or gripping some furniture to facilitate the navigation. Then, once they master walking, they figure out how to run. Eventually, over time, they learn to ride a tricycle, then a bicycle and even drive a car. The original book on crawling has been closed, but there are plenty of new “pages” in this new-found volume of locomotion.  And just like that, the whole, wide world opens up and there are a lot of places to move around in and move to.

It is so easy to keep doing what we have always done, to be comfortable in a familiar environment, reliving experiences that have brought pleasure and enjoyment. Conversely, doing something new requires motivation, confidence, self-esteem, willingness to take a risk or a chance and see what happens because you have enough faith or belief that this action will turn out okay. Doing something new challenges us from the moment we make the decision to step out of the comfort zone we have been occupying for so long because we (the subconscious mind) initially resist change. The question is, when you (your conscious mind) decides and determines that it is time to move on and move forward, will your subconscious mind allow you to tag along for the ride, or will it hold you back?

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

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