The Cycle of Violence

Photo by Rick Hustead

Hypnotherapy is an extremely effective tool to help manage anger and frustration. However, dealing with domestic violence is another situation entirely. This abuse can be physical, sexual or emotional violence; bleeding and other indications of physical battery do not have to be evident for the negative behavior to be classified as abuse. Furthermore, it can be directed against spouses (wives and husbands), the elderly, children, etc. Examples of such violence include spousal abuse, child abuse, incest and rape.

The underlying “cause” or subconscious motivation of the abuse is for the abuser to gain or feel power over and control the victim. For example, the person may threaten or actually withhold access to money/finances, intimidate with coercion or threats, humiliate or “guilt” the victim, isolate from friends or other family members, minimize the effects of the abuse/deny it happened, prevent access to kids/deny visitation, use “male privilege,” etc. Whether the duration of this cycle is long (e.g., lasts weeks or months) or short (e.g., lasts hours or days), it usually escalates and can have deadly consequences for the victim. Following is an outline of the typical pattern or cycle that violence is expressed.

Phase 1: Building Tension

Stress

Frustration

Low Self-esteem

Poor Communication

Phase 2: Explosion/Losing Control

Fight

Anger

Fear

Phase 3: Honeymoon/Loving & Remorse Stage

Guilt

Remorse

Promises: “I’ll never do it again!”

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2016

Homage to War Horses

(This blog was originally posted on January 4, 2012)

Photo courtesy of Sara Fogan

My first real introduction to the concept of a War Horse was in the song, “Comanche (The Brave Horse),” by Johnny Horton and Francis Bandy. This 1959 tribute describes the deeds of an equine survivor of the Battle of the Little Big Horn. According to the lyrics of this ballad, Comanche was the only survivor of this infamous battle. This was not true, but he was severely injured. After being rescued from the battlefield, the horse—which was owned by Captain Myles Keogh, not General Custer—recovered from his wounds and lived the rest of his life as a hero of the American cavalry. I get goose-bumps whenever I listen to the song—which is often, as it is part of an iTunes play list I created for my new horse, Avalon's Galahad.

Galahad is an Arazzon: a "hybrid" in that he is one-half Arabian and one-half Lipizzan. His Arabian side makes him a direct descendant of the original war horse, the Arabian. The Arabian dates back 2000 years. They are legendary campaign horses in the North African and Arabian deserts: Bedouin warriors would ride mares to battle, leaving the stallions to protect the women and children at the camps.

Arabians are also the seminal breed used to create the elegant and rare Lipizzan four hundred years ago. (The Arabian stallion Siglavy is a foundation sire of this breed.) Although the Lipizzaner elevated battle maneuvers to an art form in haute école, these horses were never used in actual combat. They were bred exclusively for the Hapsburg royal family to ride. Over the centuries, various wars have pushed the breed to the brink of extinction. During World War II, American General George S. Patton famously helped Colonel Alois Podhasky, the director of the Spanish Riding School, to smuggle the horses out of Austria. These days, Lipizzaners are renown for their haute école performances at the Spanish Riding School, where the levade, capriole and courbette thrill audiences.

In December 2011, Steven Spielberg released the film adaptation of Michael Morpurgo's novel, War Horse. At first, I was very wary about going to see the movie. It wasn't that I didn't want to watch the movie. I really did. But I knew it would be a tearjerker.

I ultimately did go to watch the movie. It was very well done. But, I won't say that I "enjoyed" watching it. The battle scenes were harrowing. Not just because war is so devastating, but because the humans who went to war knew (sort of) what they were getting into. However, the equine soldiers who were similarly drafted to charge into the machine-gun fire and swinging swords did not.

When the movie let out, I drove to the barn to see my horse. I wanted to thank him for his gentle companionship and any sacrifices his forbears made for their human companions. On the cover of her book titled Perfect Partners, Kelly Marks encourages everyone to strive to be “the owner that your horse would choose for himself.”

Galahad, that is what I will do for you.

This blog is posted in loving tribute to the service men and service women and the canine and equine soldiers who have sacrificed so much throughout our country’s history to protect our freedom at home and abroad.

     Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy®, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

Thoughts of the Day

Photo by Sara Fogan

      Every now and then I like (and need) to take a few moments and remind myself about what is really important to me, in my life. If you follow me on my Calminsense Hypnotherapy Facebook page you may have seen some of these quotes before on this page, or will in the future. Many of these Quotes of the Day are beautiful examples and illustrations of the work I do as a hypnotherapist, so I will probably draw on them in future essays.

• “Life is a vending machine. The more you smile, the more candies you get from it.” – Anonymous

• “No trumpets sound when the important decisions of our lives are made. Destiny is made known silently.” – Agnes de Mille

• “You cannot find yourself by going into the past. You can find yourself by coming into the present.” – Eckhart  Tolle

• “Real difficulties can be overcome. It’s only the imaginary ones that are unconquerable.” – Theodore N. Vail

• “How you treat yourself will set the standard for how others will treat you.” – Steve Maraboli

• “Stop believing everything you think.” – Lolly Daskal

• “Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.” – Henry Ford

• “Perfection is a road, not a destination. Every time I live, I get an education.” – Burk Hudson

• “The only thing blame does is to keep the focus off you when you are looking for external reasons to explain your unhappiness.” – Wayne Dyer

• “Create the highest, grandest vision possible for your life, because you become what you believe.” – Oprah Winfrey

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2016

Do You Know What You are Inhaling?

Photo courtesy of Microsoft

When people contact me to help them stop smoking, one of the most common reasons to quit is to improve/preserve their health. Perhaps they have a persistent cough (emphysema), chest pain (angina), lower stamina, etc. They know that tobacco and smoking cigarettes is bad for them, but they don’t always know why. Following is a list of six toxic ingredients contained in filtered cigarette smoke:

·         Ammonia. This chemical is in toilet-bowl disinfectant.

·         Carbon Monoxide. This chemical is in your car’s exhaust.

·         Formaldehyde. Undertakers use this to embalm bodies before burial.

·         Hydrocyanic Acid. This chemical is the poison used to execute prisoners in the gas chamber. It is also used in combination with Nitric Acid (below) to melt gold.

·         Nitric Acid. Miners use this chemical to test gold.

·         Tars. Researchers use this product to create cancer in laboratory animals when testing the toxicity of cigarette smoke.

For more information about how quitting smoking will improve your health, I invite you to check out my blog titled Physiological Benefits to Quit Smoking. 

Special Offer: Mention this blog and save 10 percent when you book hypnotherapy sessions with me to quit smoking! That is a $75 value for the six-week program or $25 for the 2-hour smoke-buster* program. This offer is only valid through July 11, 2016. For more information and to sign up for one of these programs, please call me at (661) 433-9430 or send me an e-mail at calminsensehypnosis@yahoo.com. I look forward to hearing from you!

 

*You must be smoking no more than 5 cigarettes per day to participate in the 2-hour smoke-buster hypnotherapy program. 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2016