Opportunities to Handle Stress

(This blog was originally posted on December 30, 2014)

“Life is 10 percent what happens to you and 90 percent how you handle it.”  – Lou Holtz

 

Photo courtesy of Microsoft Bing

 

I think a part of my subconscious mind was already tuned in to ESPN football analyst and former National Collegiate Athletic Association football coach Lou Holtz’s philosophy when I detached the filter from the machine. Before that moment, I had never ever tried to clean the filter so soon after the espresso finished dripping through; but that day my mind was on about 20 other things and I wasn’t focusing on what I was doing. In my rush to be efficient so I could tackle my next task (baking), I reached for the filter handle to clean up the machine after I made my latte. 

BOOM! POP! Espresso grounds flew everywhere.

Let me just say that before I enrolled at the Hypnosis Motivation Institute—let alone became a certified hypnotherapist—this kind of incident probably would have wound me up more than the caffeine I was drinking. But this time, I was willing and very able to take my mishap in stride. Sure, the mess was inconvenient; but there was a silver lining to the clean-up I had to do. I took HMI founder Dr. John Kappas’s advice to just “turn the situation around” directly to heart. Now that I already had to clean up the espresso grounds, this would be a perfect opportunity to really clean the espresso machine as well.  I had recently noticed that the water was filtering very slowly of late; or, sometimes inconsistent amounts of the beverage would be produced. It was time to figure out what was going on so I could get back to enjoying my latte.

The clean-up was also a great opportunity to do some of the relaxation techniques I recommend and teach to my hypnotherapy clients when they are frustrated. I practiced diaphragmatic breathing—drawing slow, deep breaths through my nose, holding the breath for several seconds and slowly released the air through my mouth. Meanwhile, I focused on completely brushing away the errant grounds and then ran the machine with just clear water to flush out the remnant espresso that got stuck in the machine. To prevent my subconscious mind from drifting into negative self-talk and recrimination about all the time I had to spend cleaning up the mess, I sang along with the holiday songs playing on the radio. I thought about all of the holiday festivities to come in the coming days. I even thanked myself for creating an opportunity to give the machine a mini tune-up that would ultimately brew better espresso.

Before I knew it, I had completely handled the mess as well as my non-reaction to it. The espresso maker was clean and working better than it had in a long time, and I had plenty of time to enjoy my beverage before I started my holiday baking. Win-win.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2015

Eyes on the Ground

(This blog was originally posted on July 13, 2011)

        No matter who you are, everyone benefits from having someone observe you ride. Ideally, you can train with a riding instructor who can constructively critique your position, aids, etc. while you work with your horse. No matter how good or experienced an equestrian you are, it is almost impossible to notice every detail about your position or technique that another person’s experienced eye could easily see. There is nothing so valuable for improving your ride as receiving feedback—good or bad—at the precise moment you are asking for a movement. This kind of instruction can truly make all the difference in how you ride.

        Many years ago, figure skater Michelle Kwan decided to train without a skating coach. She had previously won a silver Olympic medal, and she owned many national and world championship titles. Surely, these experiences and her talent as a skater qualified her to work without a trainer. However, she did not skate so well on her own; within a year Miss Kwan re-hired her former coach and started winning medals again.

        Even trainers have trainers. At the very least, they acknowledge the philosophies of other horsemen who have influenced their own work with horses. In 2010, I was privileged to audit a couple of Jan Ebeling’s dressage clinics at Equine Affaire (Pomona). In addition to teaching his own students, he competes at Grand Prix dressage competitions around the world. At one point, Mr. Ebeling disclosed that in addition to being coached by his wife (also an accomplished dressage competitor), he sends videos of his training sessions to his own instructor…in Germany!

        I rode in my first horse show a few years ago. To prepare, I took taking riding lessons almost every day. I followed the mantra, “Perfect practice makes perfect performance,” and I relied on my then-trainer’s experience as a riding teacher and a successful competitor in dressage to help me prepare for this competition. I wanted to ride accurate tests on show-day, and I trusted Julie Van Loo’s insights as she advised me how to fine-tune my position and aids when I rode Candy through walk-trot transitions. She even corrected my mistakes before I even make them—or, at least before I was aware that I had made an error.

        As the tagline for those MasterCard® advertisements read, “Having a trainer to watch you ride: Priceless.”

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2015

The Horse as Equine Partner

(This blog was originally posted on May 18, 2011)

I believe that people who train and work with horses should aim to achieve a partnership with their horse. I love the way Monty Roberts and Kelly Marks talk about their “equine partners” when they teach horsemanship and training techniques. My trainers teach every student at the barn to consider and interact with their mount as an equine partner. But, what does this term really mean? What does it mean to be a human partner to your horse?

Enid Bagnold’s classic novel, National Velvet, depicts a teenage Velvet Brown’s bond with a piebald gelding, which she rides to victory in the Grand National horse race. In Walter Farley’s The Black Stallion, Alec Ramsay earns the trust of an Arabian stallion when they are shipwrecked on a deserted island. “The Black” demonstrates his devotion to Alec when he kills a cobra poised to bite the boy; after they are rescued, Alec enlists the help of a former jockey to train them for an important race. Finally, in one of the most exciting scenes in my favorite movie, The Man From Snowy River, Jim Craig’s trusted mount gallops at breakneck speed, headlong down a cliff and over rugged terrain in their quest to round up a herd of wild horses.

Now, consider the horses that you have known in your life: The horse that carried you safely home when you were sure that you were “lost” on the trail. The horse who, even after “dumping” you at that oxer, stood patiently beside you and waited for you to catch your breath (and gathered your pride) before climbing on his back. The horse that braced his body perpendicular to a steep incline, allowing you to pull yourself up the hill by using the reins and his weight as leverage. Finally: The horse that carried you to a first-place win after crossing 100 miles of grueling terrain in an endurance race, or bested the other equine athletes at a three-day, combined-training event. How—or, why—do they do these things for us?

While considering this question, I am reminded of the famous challenge in President Kennedy’s inaugural speech: “Ask not what your country can do for you, but ask what you can do for your country.” I believe that this theme forms the basis of the partnership that is forged between a horse and his rider. Rather than focus on the prize or reward that is being offered at the end of the ride, consider what it takes to achieve that goal.

Spend time watching your horse in pasture and take the time to learn how to communicate and interpret the horse’s body language. Groom him and establish a mutual bond of trust and respect before you even think about climbing onto his back. Rather than jabbing a spur into his side and demanding your horse to go forward, first “ask” him to walk/trot/canter out with gentle aid, such as a cluck or squeeze. Reward the horse with praise and gentle pats when he does what you have asked. When you must correct the horse’s behavior, be firm—but fair: refusing to go forward because he is belligerent is not the same thing as not understanding what you have asked him to do. If your horse spooks at something on a trail or in the arena, help him to build his confidence by remaining patient and calm through the incident. Be an example of bravery as you desensitize him to what has previously startled him. Demonstrate and reinforce your role as herd leader by providing him with food, water, shelter, and time to just be a horse.

If, as Kelly Marks writes, you can “be the owner your horse would choose for himself,” he can be a reliable equine partner for you.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2015