Friendly Influences

(This blog was originally posted on December 3, 2014)

Photo courtesy of Sara Fogan

My friend’s Lusitano stallion, Galhoso, reawakened my

love of horses and riding; he also inspired my passion for dressage.

   Throughout our lifetime, we are suggestible to various influences. As very young children, we learn to emulate the beliefs and behaviors of our primary caretaker. As I described in my blog titled Where Does Suggestibility Come From?, suggestibility refers to how we learn and process information. According to Hypnosis Motivation Founder John G. Kappas, Ph.D., we get our early suggestibility from how the primary caretaker (usually the mother) takes care of and interacts with us during early childhood (birth up to age 5). When we are around 8 years old, the secondary caretaker (usually dad) has more influence over our suggestibility, while peers, teachers and others impact suggestibility between the ages of six and nine. By the time we are adults, our suggestibility is pretty much established but our subconscious mind remains receptive to other people’s suggestions if they resonate with our established known behaviors or interests.

   Nearly three years ago, one of my childhood friends bought me a ticket for a Bon Jovi concert in Los Angeles. She and her sister had both flown into town for their mother’s birthday, and the opportunity to see the concert with them that weekend was icing on the cake for me. They have been fans of Bon Jovi almost as long as I have known them. In fact, Jennifer was the one who first introduced me to their music seven years ago. She actually had to work pretty hard to convince me to go with her, since I was not a huge fan of rock ‘n roll and I didn’t really know much about this band. I didn’t know the lyrics to any of their songs. But, Jennifer was one of my best friends: I liked to hang out with her and I trusted her judgment when she promised me that I really, truly, absolutely would have a great time if I went. After all, she was the one who had introduced me to eating (and enjoying) sushi and the joys of reading J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter series—and I had been pretty resistant to doing either of those things at first, too. I decided that I had nothing to lose and everything to gain, and I was right: I have been a fan of the band ever since that first concert, and these days I am usually the one asking my friends if another tour is in the works.

    I discovered dressage in a similar way. When I was working on my Master’s degree in London in the 1990s, my former landlady—and now dear friend—introduced me to the sport. Back then, when I thought about horses and riding, show-jumping or galloping across a cross-country course were what caught my imagination. I was actually a little disappointed when Sandra told me she rode dressage, but I think that is because at the time I had no real idea what that discipline entailed. When I returned to London in 2002 to attend another friend’s wedding, I spent a few days with Sandra and her husband; during the visit, I asked if I could go with her to the barn to meet her horse and watch her ride. I hadn’t been on a horse in nearly 20 years, but Sandra and I had always bonded over our mutual love of horses and riding.  It would be an understatement to say the experience was magical and inspiring. I knew right away that my love of horses and interest in riding had never gone away but had just been dormant for a long time.

After Sandra finished her ride, she asked if I would like to sit on her horse for a few minutes. Let’s just say that the five or so minutes I spent on Galhoso’s back were a revelation. The Lusitano stallion was not only the most beautiful horse I had ever seen and very kind; he was also the first stallion that I had ever been on. Earlier that morning, Sandra had explained to me that the true power of a horse’s movement comes from his hindquarters; boy did I feel that when she clucked him into a trot for me. It felt like we were flying, and all I was doing was a medium trot (rising) trot on a lunge line, no vertical jumps or oxers in sight. This informal introduction to dressage opened the door to a whole new world.

Within eighteen months I had not only started riding again, but I bought my first horse. Even though Geeves was a retired hunter, my trainer at the time mentioned that he was looking for riders for his dressage team. I immediately thought of Sandra and Galhoso and jumped at the chance. A year or so after Geeves passed away, I found Galahad—my own “Gally”—a dressage horse whose powerful, free stride makes me feel like I’m flying just like my friend’s stallion did all those years ago.

Something that is equally amazing to me is, if not for the influence of two very special friends, when would I have discovered these great passions on my own, if at all? What hobby or even a new relationship has a friend introduced to you?

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

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