(This blog was originally posted on August 15, 2014)
I am a devoted
fan of Patrick McDonnell’s Mutts© comic strip. During the week of (August 11-August 14, 2014, two of
the regular “seaside” characters, Crabby and Mrs. Crabby, were having a marital
crisis. Not only was the king crab feeling “happy” and content, he had suddenly
become very kind and even solicitous to his wife. Mrs. Crabby was beside
herself with worry because she had no idea how to deal with his sudden change
in behavior or attitude. She literally did not “know” her husband since he was
no longer grumpy and complaining. The Crabby relationship was in jeopardy
because the basic system of their marriage had been disrupted.
The source or
reason for Crabby’s sudden attitude change wasn’t revealed; it didn’t matter
that his gentler, more considerate nature might have ultimately improved the
overall quality of their communication their relationship. Remember, doesn’t even
matter if the “change” is for the better and could even improve the overall
quality of their interactions or communication. According to John Kappas, Ph.D.’s Theory
of Mind, anything new is unknown
and, therefore, painful. This behavior was very painful to him and Mrs. Crabby—so
painful, in fact, that they had to enlist the help of a marriage counselor (an
octopus) to help restore the usual status quo and save their relationship.
Right away, I
knew that a Systems
Theory Approach would be the most effective way to address this conflict.
The basic premise of the Systems Approach is: every component of a
social/emotional system affects the entire system. Whenever one member of that
social system changes his or her behavior in any way, that change could still
destroy the relationship if the other parties are resistant toward it. The
ultimate goal of a Systems Approach is to bring the original System back into
balance.
According to Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder, this
approach infiltrates all areas of therapy regardless of what the client’s
problem or issue happens to be. Even if only one member of the family or one
spouse or partner in a relationship is seeking therapy, that issue must be dealt
with within the context of the client’s own system. Therefore, the
hypnotherapist must address components in the person’s work, relationships,
family past, the hypnotherapy he or she is receiving, plus aspects of the
entire social system or relationship. If these other issues aren’t taken into
account, the therapy won’t be successful and only the issue being addressed in
therapy will be “treated” (improved or eliminated) per the client’s goal, Dr.
Kappas warned.
The presenting
issue of Crabby and Mrs. Crabby’s case was marital accord, a complete
aberration of their normal interactions. If the (hypno)therapist doesn’t keep Mrs.
Crabby in mind during the therapy, she is liable to walk out of the marriage
because she has not been taken into account within the “system.” Fortunately,
both of these spouses were willing to come in for (hypno)therapy to work on
their marital issues and learned some techniques to help them restore the
natural balance of the relationship.
I am pleased to
report that the “therapy” worked, Crabby is back to being his usual “crabby”
self and he and Mrs. Crabby is delighted with the results! You can read about their
relationship at https://muttscomics.com/strips-archive.
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Sara
R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern
California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation
Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy®, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.
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