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Thursday, December 3, 2015

Hypnotherapy and Public Speaking

(This blog was originally posted on April 22, 2014)

Photo courtesy of Microsoft

This evening I came across the outline for my first-ever presentation about hypnosis. It had been an assignment for the Speech Craft class that my classmates and I took at the Hypnosis Motivation Institute a couple of months before graduation. In it, we learned all of the fine points of crafting and delivering an effective, impactful speech about some element of our new, future vocation as certified hypnotherapists. My speech was very basic: I included some personal information about me and my educational background in the introduction, and then I focused on how and why I decided to become a hypnotherapist. That should be easy, right? Not so fast.

Reading those notes again, 10 years later, I could still remember how nervous I felt while I composed the draft for that speech. As a rule, I did not like to speak in public. I hated to be the center of attention in any circumstance, as I knew I would have to be when I did my presentation. Finally, the instructor and my classmates would be grading my presentation, a prospect that not only exacerbated my anxieties about public speaking but also of taking tests.

Before I drove to class that night, I made sure that I ate a nutritious meal with protein to keep my blood-sugar level (and mood) stable, which I knew would help to lower my anxiety. I wore one of my most professional-looking skirt suits that always helped me feel confident. Once I was in class, I practiced diaphragmatic breathing to calm my nerves while I waited for my turn to speak.

When the instructor finally called me up to the podium to do my presentation, my mind flashed back to the best advice I have ever received about public speaking. The current director of HMI, George Kappas, M.A., C.Ht., once gave the class a pep talk about public speaking and doing presentations on hypnosis and hypnotherapy to the general public. He reassured us that each of us would probably know more about this topic than anyone else in the room. He told us to relax and even suggested that we probably wouldn’t (shouldn’t) even need or want to use notes or note-cards to prompt our speeches because, again, we would already be the experts on this topic. So when I stepped up to the podium that night, I took his words to heart and allowed myself to own the room. Since this presentation was about me and my experience, I could be (and was) completely confident that I was the expert in the room about this topic. That night, I was finally able to overcome a personal challenge. To my surprise, I even created a new “known” in my subconscious mind: public speaking was fun!

Looking back, this class turned out to be one of my favorites on the hypnotherapy-certification program at HMI. First, the assignment made me face and overcome my fear and discomfort about public speaking and taking tests. Second, the experience of having to do a presentation gave me an invaluable opportunity to experience the efficacy of techniques that I now also use and teach to my clients to help them overcome similar fears and anxieties.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Passive-Aggressive Behavior

(This blog was originally posted on March 31, 2014)

Photo by Sara Fogan

You must repeatedly remind your teenage son to end a phone conversation with his friend so he can pick up his younger sibling from band practice before he finally snaps the phone shut and stomps out of the room. When you ask your spouse to make a stop on the way home from work to pick up the food you ordered for supper, the response is a loud sigh and a sarcastic comment: “Sure, it’s not as if I don’t have enough to do during the day.” Maybe you consistently forget to return a novel you borrowed from your friend, even though you see each other just about every day at school or work. Sound familiar?

These behaviors are examples of passive aggression, a common form of defensive behavior. It is not exclusive to males or females, and it can be manifested at any age starting from very early childhood until the end of the person’s life. It can start at age 18 months to between two and five years old, when a child starts to differentiate from the parent or caretaker in a subconscious bid to become more independent and autonomous. The more the adult tries to exert authority over the youngster, the more resistant the child becomes: You say yes, the child says no. If the parent does not provide options or alternatives for the desired behavior, but simply demands the child to do what he or she has been told, the youngster doesn’t have a chance to experience the desired autonomy. The child may then exert his or her independence by forgetting to do something or make jokes or sarcastic comments in front of other people as a way to express frustration about the situation. Over time, this tactic becomes a “known” in the subconscious and, eventually, the preferred problem-solving strategy and technique.

With the exception of reactions to fear of falling and fear of loud noises, passive aggression—like all other behaviors—is learned; therefore, it can be unlearned. When I work with a client to overcome this “resistant lifestyle,” I will first explore the different emotional triggers for the client’s behavior, such as tone of voice/words used of the person making a request, the time of day the client is most likely to respond this way, etc. Then, while the person is in hypnosis, I will systematically desensitize him or her to these triggers and teach a relaxation response that can be substituted for the previous “known” behavior (passive aggression). Finally, I may incorporate some hypnodrama and therapeutic-guided imagery or visualization techniques to give the person a chance to rehearse expressing his or her needs in these specific situations. Over time, by practicing the relaxation response and communicating what he or she needs at that time, the person can establish these behaviors as a new known response in other similar situations.

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Hypnotherapy to Help You Stay Motivated During a Challenge

(This blog was originally posted on February 13, 2014)

As a hypnotherapist, one of the most important things I do is to motivate my clients to continue working to change an unwanted behavior. Sometimes a challenge or a setback occurs during this therapeutic process, and I must put on another hat to facilitate crisis management. Perhaps you have experienced a personal crisis, such as the unexpected death of a spouse or life-threatening medical diagnosis*; or, you are discouraged about your rate of progress in achieving the desired self-improvement goal. It is my honor and privilege to help you to find/re-discover, and employ, your inner resources to overcome such a challenge in the following ways:

Provide you with unconditional positive regard. I use active and reflective listening techniques to help you clarify the issue or source of frustration, and identify the emotions or feelings surrounding that situation.
Employ Neuro-Linguistic Programming techniques such as “chunking down” the problem to help you look at and identify ways of breaking it into smaller, more manageable elements that you can resolve.
Help you to brainstorm a list, which you will write, of all of your inner resources—talents, work/sports experience, problem-solving skills, etc. that you have acquired during/through hypnotherapy—that you believe will help you overcome the current setback or disappointment.
Apply hypnosis and therapeutic guided-imagery techniques to help you access those resources and other problem-solving skills that you have previously used to overcome a similar situation in order to conquer the current setback: If you have overcome ‘X’ before, your subconscious mind knows how to use these skills to succeed, again!
Help you to create a subconscious anchor which you can access at any time to activate this sensation of relaxation, calm and comfort that you experienced during hypnosis in order to solve a problem or overcome a challenge when you are alert and aware (not in hypnosis).

If the issue or crisis is beyond the scope of my expertise as a hypnotherapist to help you achieve your vocational and avocational self-improvement goals, I will refer you to a licensed medical doctor and/or licensed mental health practitioner. This referral is imperative to ensure your emotional and physical well-being, because these experts are equipped to provide you with the specific support that you need to help you through that event. However, according to California law I may continue to work with you as your hypnotherapist in conjunction with these other experts to provide complementary therapy, with a signed referral from them (Business andProfessions Code 2908).