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Tuesday, October 8, 2019

Dealing with Frustration

(This blog was originally posted on July 15, 2014)

Image courtesy of Microsoft

What frustrates you? Being stuck in rush-hour traffic? Having to chase your dog around the neighborhood to catch him after he jumped the fence? Sleeping through your alarm and being late for work? Pop-up ads that block the computer screen and impede your work until you figure out how to get rid of the advertisement? The list goes on. Following are some practical relaxation and visualization techniques that you can use to help you relax when you experience stress during such moments of frustration.

Diaphragmatic breathing. Draw a slow, deep breath through your nose; hold it four three or four seconds and then release the air through your mouth. Breathing this way not only relaxes the tension in your physical body; it also provides a tangible example (proof) that you can control a specific physical behavior. Repeat this exercise several times until you notice that your pulse/heartbeat returns to its normal (resting) rate.

Let your conscious awareness of the situation help you out. According to Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D.’s Theory of Mind, your subconscious mind is likely following a subconscious mental script about how it thinks you “should” respond or behave when you are frustrated. When you are in a situation with which you regularly associate anxiety and frustration, you are likely to experience these negative emotions as soon as your SCM recognizes similar themes in that environment. Practice diaphragmatic breathing while you focus your attention on specific physical characteristics (message units) of the stimuli you experience around you. What do you see, hear, feel, taste or smell? Directing your conscious attention to these individual details in this way will not only help to relax you by distracting your attention away from the source of your stress or frustration. It will also inundate your SCM with these new message units and help to create a new, different (innocuous) mental script about this formerly stress-inducing environment.

Focus on your options/solutions. As Gil Grissom, one of my favorite characters from the original cast of CBS’ hit series, CSI, used to say: “There is always a clue.” Once your physical body is relaxed and your mind is calm, you can turn your attention to finding solutions to the problem that is causing your stress. Once your subconscious mind has created new associations (knowns) between feeling calm and your ability to focus, it becomes easier to create new solutions for reducing your frustration or even access previously proved (success) mental scripts to manage your frustration.

Be polite and gracious to the people around you. Good manners go a long, long way to preventing the development of additional social/emotional stress in your environment. For example, if there is a long line at the drug store when you go to pick up your prescription, you can be pretty sure that other people, including the clerk, are also experiencing frustration about the wait. The simple physical action of smiling at the people around you transforms your negative energy/emotion into a positive response. As Dr. Kappas liked to remind his clients and students, it is impossible for two opposite emotions to exist at the same time. In addition, positive emotion has stronger energy than a negative emotion such as anger or frustration. When you smile, you not only convert the negative energy but also (metaphorically) invite solutions that will resolve your problem, including another person offering to help you out.

Finally, hypnotherapy and therapeutic-guided imagery are great tools to help you learn to relax and manage/control stress and frustration. I will teach you simple breathing and relaxation exercises that you can use to help reduce stress and create a hypnotic script to help manage your frustration during specific situations. I will also give you a recording of your hypnosis to keep that you can listen to and reinforce the relaxation techniques that we worked on during your hypnotherapy session.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. In July 2019 she was voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

Monday, October 7, 2019

Hypnotized Sharks

(This blog was originally posted on August 14, 2014)

Image courtesy of Microsoft

According to Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D., people escape or flee into hypnosis when they perceive a threat or danger. As I learned during my hypnotherapy training at HMI: “Hypnosis is created by an overload of message units, disorganizing our inhibitory process (Critical Mind), triggering our fight-flight mechanism and ultimately resulting in a hyper-suggestible state, providing access to the subconscious mind.”

Apparently, sharks do a similar thing.

A few years ago, I watched a fascinating documentary about shark behavior in a Shark Week episode titled Zombie Sharks on the Discovery Channel®. In it, Eli Martinez, a shark expert, explained a neuro-physiological phenomenon called “tonic immobility.” According to Martinez, sharks can be rendered immobile whenever they are turned over onto their backs or, in some cases, by touching an area of a shark’s face. For all intents and purposes, tonic immobility temporarily paralyzes the shark until the contact is removed and/or it may rotate its body to a normal position.

Apparently, this area of the face and down the back is loaded with sensors which can quickly become overloaded by sensory stimuli. For example, an overload of sensory stimuli would occur when a researcher places his or her hands on the animal’s face or flips the fish onto its back to subdue it when inserting a tracking device, or if a larger predator, such as an orca, catches it and turns the animal onto its back as a predatory behavior. To complete this picture, imagine the psychological stress that a shark experiences when another animal—whether it is a human or another predator(s)—is swimming and lunging with hands or an opened toothy mouth, to catch it. There would be even more stress and anxiety for its survival when the fish is cornered and caught. In some instances, as in the case of the researchers and videographers for Shark Week, there would be additional sensory stimuli from the cameras and extra lighting in the ocean. By the time the shark is subdued on its back, it has endured an incredible overload of sensory stimulation. It is no wonder that the fish zones out.

This phenomenon sounds a lot like hypnosis to me.

For more information about tonic immobility, check out the articles at the following links:

“Tonic Immobility on Sharks”: http://www.sharkaidinternational.org/report_tonic_immobility_on_sharks.html

“Discovery Channel’s ‘Zombie Sharks’ Explores Tonic Immobility”, Woodlands Online at http://www.woodlandsonline.com/npps/story.cfm?nppage=53506

Thursday, October 3, 2019

Open to Interpretation

(This blog was originally posted on June 23, 2016)

Photo by Rick Hustead

“Effective communication is 20% what you know and 80% how you feel

about what you know.” – Jim Rohn

The sentiment in quote above is very similar to a saying that the late hypnotherapist, Alex G. Kappas, Ph.D., used to tell his students when explaining (mis)communication. Here is the quote: “I know you believe you think you understand what I have just said; but I am not sure that what you heard is not what I meant.” Are you confused? Don’t worry about it; the play on words is intentional and meant to illustrate his point: effective communication is equally a matter of expression interpretation. When the message or “point” of that communication is missed or misunderstood, all sorts of chaos can ensue.

For example, in the Game of Thrones: “Battle of the Bastards” episode, a particularly nasty character warned his estranged wife that he would always be a part of her. Like other devoted fans of the show, those words set off a number of alarm bells in my mind. “Could Sansa be pregnant? After everything that horrible man put her through, could she really be carrying Ramsay Bolton’s baby?” I was alternately horrified and sad for her.

Then I took a deep breath and decided not to second-guess the implications of Lord Bolton’s warning. First of all, the plot of GoT is nothing if not a mental chess game. I, for one, have no intention of spending a year wondering about Sansa Stark’s state (with child or not) like I fretted for eight months whether Jon Snow truly died in last year’s season finale. (Spoiler alert: he did not.) I reminded myself that emotional suggestibility makes it more likely to read/interpret a hidden meaning into a statement like that. Author George R. R. Martin and the skilled filmmakers, script-writers and directors who have brought his best-selling books to celluloid life know how to create action and scenarios that seduce readers and viewers, taking us with them into their fantastic worlds.

Conversely, one of the series co-stars (Liam Cunningham, “Davos Seaworth”) reportedly told the Huffington Post that his interpretation of Lord Bolton’s warning was more likely a literal statement of fact than foreshadowing the birth of his heir. Cunningham explained that Bolton wanted Sansa to know that while their time together was fairly short, she would always remember and feel how he tortured her and these memories would continue to torment her. If you have read the books and/or watched their video incarnation on HBO, you know exactly why his words would be true.

Having said that, in keeping with Dr. Alex Kappas’s instruction and the guessing-games and mental gymnastics Game of Thrones subjects (pun intended) its fans to, the true meaning of this statement truly is up for inference and interpretation. And a little (or a lot of) imagination.