Follow Your Own Path

(This blog was originally posted on July 6, 2014)

Photo courtesy of Microsoft

     In honor of Independence Day, I have decided to re-run this essay to celebrate the privilege of opportunities I enjoy living in the United States.

     It is easy—too easy—to get carried away while planning somebody else’s life. From the moment a baby is born, its proud relatives start imagining the kind of fulfilling, exciting and successful life this new person will ultimately live. Will Baby grow up to be President of the United States one day? Will Baby become a doctor, lawyer, soldier, police officer or firefighter like Mom or Dad? Maybe our newborn is destined to live a life in the limelight as an actor or even marry the heir to a throne in Europe and will become a monarch one day. (Hey, it’s happened before, why not to our tot?)

     There are a few problems with this fantasy game. First, each person who “plays” it can only project the possibilities that already exist as knowns in his or her mind. It is common to imagine your young child or loved one follow a similar life path as your own, because this is what you already know; this is your comfort zone. If you have chosen the same career as one of your parents, this association is likely to be reinforced even more: “Of course, Baby will do this, since generations of our family are already in this career!” Maybe Baby will do that; he or she will receive plenty of conscious and subconscious message units about this vocation, and is likely to nurture a subconscious mental script about it.But, what if other people’s plan for you isn’t what you truly want for yourself? What if you don’t even know what you want to do, or change your mind (and switch careers) down the road? How do you break this news to your “very disappointed” family?

    The second problem with this fantasy game is that each person may be influenced to pursue a life path that in which parents/caretakers and other relatives have no experience at all.For example, I decided that I wanted to be a psychologist at the tender age of 11. This decision was actually inspired by another student in my sixth-grade class who declared that this was what she wanted to do. I honestly didn’t know much about psychology back then, but I must have decided that career sounded pretty cool, and declared “psychology” as my college major eight years later.

     The third problem with this game is that none of us know where our lives will ultimately take us, even when we have a definite career or life/lifestyle in play. Ten years after I earned a research Master’s degree in psychology in another country, I was working as an editor of a martial arts magazine when I finally found my way back to my original choice of vocation. Well, not the original choice, but very close.The day I started my training to become a hypnotherapist, I realized that this was the work I really wanted to do and should be doing. Perhaps my decision to abandon what could have been a very successful career in journalism was impulsive, impetuous and even short-sighted; but I have never looked back.

     My young nephews recently also announced what they would like to do when they grow up. My family often has fun imagining ways that they can (or will) achieve their goals. In fact, we recently went to town embellishing details of how the youngest boy’s career can and will be successful (and fun for us, too). I know that’s not fair to him; he may well change his mind about what he wants to do, anyway. There was a time when I thought I would like to be a writer. One of my friends still (occasionally) tells me that I should be an author and how disappointed he is that I didn’t choose writing as my vocation. Whatever. I know that I made the right decision for me. There is really nothing like the feeling of doing what you know you want to do, what you are meant to do and what you truly enjoy doing.

    If it takes a long and winding road to get where you know you are meant to be, so much the better.

     Happy birthday, U.S.A.! 

               

 Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy®, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

(c) 2016

Thoughts of the Day

Photo by Sara Fogan

      Every now and then I like (and need) to take a few moments and remind myself about what is really important to me, in my life. If you follow me on my Calminsense Hypnotherapy Facebook page you may have seen some of these quotes before on this page, or will in the future. Many of these Quotes of the Day are beautiful examples and illustrations of the work I do as a hypnotherapist, so I will probably draw on them in future essays.

• "Great things are done by a series of small things brought together." – Vincent van Gogh

• “Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects.” – Arnold H. Glasgow

• “Life has a way of testing a person’s will, either by having nothing happen at all or by having everything happen at once.” – Paulo Coehlo

• “I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you are not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald

• “It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.” – Erma Bombeck

• "You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think". – Winnie the Pooh

• "It doesn't matter where you are, you are nowhere compared to where you can go." – Bob Proctor

• “In order to carry a positive action we must develop here a positive vision.” – Dalai Lama

• “Sometimes letting things go is an act of far greater power than defending or hanging on.” – Eckhart  Tolle

• “Praise and blame, gain and loss, pleasure and sorrow come and go like the wind. To be happy, rest like a giant tree in the midst of them all.” – Buddha

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2016

Hyper-Suggestibility at the Doctor's Office

“Patients cannot hear it when you say disparaging things about them
  to colleagues out of earshot. But they can feel it.” – Mark Reid, M.D.

Photo by Rick Hustead

When you go to the doctor’s office, you are likely to perceive a lot of things. You will see the doctor’s white coat, smell the astringent odor of anti-septic and cleaning products, feel the cool air circulating throughout the clinic (it always seems so cold in a doctor’s office). Then there will be sounds: a child’s cough, the buzz over the reception area desk instructing the next patient to step check in, the voices of other patients’ chatting in the waiting room, the medical staff discussing…whatever. Sometimes the topic of the medical team’s conversation or the tone of their voices causes unnecessary (and unintended) anxiety and distress.

For example: I once overheard an Ob/Gyn physician call to his nurse, “Bring the cow in here.” Now, calling a woman a “cow” is unkind and derogatory, to say the very least. I was seething. What kind of physician would refer to his patients this way? I wondered, gritting my teeth. Then I saw the nurse wheel a computer into the examining room and shut the door. Cow. C.o.W. Computer on Wheels. But you wouldn’t have known what the doctor really meant if you hadn’t seen the item he wanted the nurse to bring into the room.

The tone of the medical professionals’ voice and cadence of their speech can also influence your level of anxiety or comfort/relaxation during a medical visit. When I over-heard the doctor instruct the nurse to bring the C.o.W. into the examining room, his tone was mild or even indifferent. My hyper-suggestible state intensified my emotional-suggestible interpretation to his comment. I immediately jumped to the conclusion that he was mocking or belittling the patient and he didn’t seem to care that he was insulting her. If I had been in that examining room, I would have been very insulted—until the computer came into the room, anyway.

Whether you are at the clinic for a regular check-up, preparing for/recovering from a scheduled surgery or an unexpected trip to the emergency room, hospitals and medical environments can be an overwhelming and anxiety-inducing experience. As the smells, sounds and sights of this environment fill and overwhelm the senses, it is easy and natural to slip into a hyper-suggestible state of awareness (i.e., environmental hypnosis). Fear, anxiety and/or nervousness you experience being in this medical environment, combined with any negative emotions/associations you have about the examination or procedure you are about to undergo likely intensifies this state.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

Getting Caught Up In the Action

Photo by Rick Hustead

According to John G. Kappas, Ph.D., founder of the Hypnosis Motivation Institute, “hypnosis is created by an overload of message units, disorganizing our inhibitory process, triggering our fight-flight mechanism and ultimately resulting in a hyper-suggestible state, providing access to the subconscious mind.” In other words, when the mind is overloaded by multiple, multi-faceted physical and emotional stimuli, we actually “escape” into hypnosis to avoid the anxiety produced by this over-stimulation. In today’s blog I will share some common examples of emotional responses/reactions people make when they are in hypnosis.

• Have you ever been in love? During the peak of infatuation, it is common to adopt the preferences (e.g., musical, film, books, etc.), behaviors or even habits you have observed in your beloved. This tendency is actually a product of suggestibility, whereby we become “suggestible” to a romantic partner’s beliefs/attitudes/behaviors during the relationship.

• Did you cry when Leonardo DiCaprio’s character, Jack Dawson, died at the end of Titanic? Deep down, you knew that the actor was alive and well somewhere. However, the message units that flooded your mind during this scene—sounds and images of this character perishing in the icy North Atlantic Ocean—overwhelmed your conscious mind so you slipped into a light trance. DiCaprio’s on-screen charm and acting prowess sealed the deal in terms of your “buying into” the story that Jack Dawson died. Did you do on-line research after the movie let out to see if he was a real person and died on the R.M.S. Titanic? If so, the cast and Titanic writer/director James Cameron accomplished their goal of creating for the audience a realistic experience of sailing on and witnessing the demise of this historic ship.

• Do you cry and curse Game of Thrones author George R.R. Martin every time he “kills off” one of your favorite characters but cheer when a true villain meets a particularly gruesome/unusual demise? Your conscious mind knows that the individuals who populate Martin’s exciting, horrifying, creative, fantastical kingdoms do not really exist. Nonetheless, when you have a visceral (physiological/emotional) response to the words you read on the pages of these books, you can be sure you were sucked into this alternate reality. Yes, you were hypnotized.

• Consider the last time you went to the grocery store. Did you buy any item(s) that were not on your original shopping list? Did you take one or any of the free food samples you were offered? If so, there is a good chance that you were in a light state of trance during your shopping trip: i.e. Hypnotized by the Grocery Store.

So, next time you find yourself completely engrossed in what is going on when you are watching a movie or television program or reading novel, or after you leave the grocery store laden with various item(s) you never intended to purchase, look in the mirror. If your eyes look glassy/glazed over, that is a sure sign you were in a state of trance. I also invite you to check out my blog titled, Are You Sure I Was Hypnotized? to learn about other physiological responses that your body makes when you are in hypnosis.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.